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Original Message
"Big Brother #14 Week #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread: Someone's HoH And I Don't Care."

Posted by Estee on 07-12-12 at 12:54 PM
For discussion of the broadcast episodes as they air. Because BB has the weirdest scheduling of the reality shows, we consolidate the ECSTs: each one covers the weekly cycle from HoH to elimination. We designate this as the East Coast thread because the show airs first there: our westerners and DVR-users frequently don't want to have the show spelled out for them in advance, so confining the talk here clears them. Typically, new threads and posts concerning episode events should only be made in Fanatics and Bashers four hours after the eastern airtime. Hawaiians are on their own.

Since this thread is in Spoilers, information from the feeds which doesn't make the broadcast can be mentioned here to provide contrast between what actually happened and what was edited into existence. Enter at your own risk -- but if you don't like your favorite's Grodner-created reputation being ruined, retreat at your best speed. (At least Jeff isn't back this year -- yet.)

Twelve new hamsters. Four battered veterans. And enough abuse available for everyone.

Let the pain begin.


Table of contents

Messages in this discussion
"Counting down..."
Posted by Estee on 07-12-12 at 08:47 PM
And now, let us recite the BB viewer's mantra: "Well, this is gonna svck."

"RE: Counting down..."
Posted by tribephyl on 07-12-12 at 08:59 PM
waiting, not breathlessly, for any insights.
LeftCoaster here, wondering what should be the word for the drinking game.

"RE: Counting down..."
Posted by Snidget on 07-12-12 at 09:02 PM
Legends, Greats, that'll get you started.

or dead.


"RE: Big Brother #14 Week #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread: Someone's HoH And I Don't Care."
Posted by Estee on 07-12-12 at 09:17 PM
Ian might really be our megafan. Not only did he suspect Willie off the bat, but he made a Joe Schmo reference during his first minute in the house. Interesting...

Jenn is a recruit who's supposed to know nothing about this, but she echoed James of long ago with her basic 'while we still like each other' toast. Hmmm.

Willie is already planning trouble.

Julie's promising an instant eviction tonight. Is this how the 'JoJo quit' rumors got started? One out immediately? Who wasn't seen during that brief preview of the feeds?

Please never imply Malin was a popular hamster again.

'First in' curse: Jodi.


"RE: Big Brother #14 Week #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread: Someone's HoH And I Don't Care."
Posted by Estee on 07-12-12 at 09:30 PM
Malin gets two nasty reminders: that he's been at this too long and Janelle may still possibly hate his guts. Still, she's willing to work with him in not choosing the ultra-obvious already-exposed Willie -- assuming one of them isn't lying. Or both. Gee, guess who really needs HoH right now?

Britney realizes she needs redemption. So does everyone else.


"RE: Big Brother #14 Week #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread: Someone's HoH And I Don't Care."
Posted by Estee on 07-12-12 at 09:41 PM
Teams are chosen snake-fashion. (Thanks, Simmons.) Britney had the initial first pick.

Britney: Shane, Willie, JoJo (Hey, Willie, the 'dumb blonde' is in charge!)

Malin: Frank, Ian, Jenn

Janelle: Wil, Ashley, Joe

Dan: Kara, Danielle, Jodi (last picked)

First HoH played in teams without coaches participating. Coach of the first-place team picks one of their three to be HoH. Coach of the last-place team sends someone out.

Transfer of bears (three per team) across rotating and tilting beds with lots of gap jumping. Less expensive and more tricky than it first appears. If this is the initial effort from our new challenge staff, they're already scoring their own points.

Three-way tie between Everyone But Dan's Team going into commercial.


"First HoH: Willie."
Posted by Estee on 07-12-12 at 09:49 PM
Britney's team wins and she spots the member who most needs that guaranteed week of protection. Also, CBS would have killed her twice.

Last place: Dan. He has the commercial break to think about who's leaving. Julie claims this is permanent. Julie lies a lot.


"First out: Jodi."
Posted by Estee on 07-12-12 at 09:58 PM
My, what a hard decision Dan made.

Willie completely misses the ideas of coaches and team play, declaring this is all about him. Julie promises a new power will emerge in the next episode. Lots of swimsuit shots. And somehow, I don't already hate them all.

But it's really close.


"Sunday night."
Posted by Estee on 07-15-12 at 07:58 PM
When last we left our antiheroes, the sibling of the Antichrist had just assumed power.

We should probably be worried about that.


"RE: Big Brother #14 Week #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread: Someone's HoH And I Don't Care."
Posted by Estee on 07-15-12 at 08:18 PM
Britney is called a great player again. Stop it.

New extended theme tune is svck.

Dan on Jodi's eviction: 'Black girl dies first! There's a trope for it and everything!'

Malin tries to partner up with Dan, who's amenable -- more or less. This creates an immediate counter as Janelle goes to Britney so the men won't burn them again. The coaches are now gender-locked.

HoH room has been revised to Asian touches and purple haze -- plus dual occupancy: there's a second room (with no door separating them) off to the side, where the HoH's mentor will sleep. Willie's HoH reveal interestingly contains no displayed family pictures -- but he comes out to his and Janelle's teams shortly after.

Ian can't sleep and goes on a solo house exploration, not knowing Willie, Britney, and Janelle are watching him on the spy screen. It gets embarrassing fast and probably touches off any Ian Is Off vibe for the group.

Britney and Janelle inform their teams of the alliance and get all six on board. The house is officially divided. Well, that was right on schedule...


"RE: Big Brother #14 Week #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread: Someone's HoH And I Don't Care."
Posted by michel on 07-15-12 at 10:36 PM
I'm enjoying Britney's confessionals a lot. This one about sleeping sop close to Willie without a door and the |strength of a 6 month old baby were amusing.

As for strategy, Dan should have used what Malin told him against him. In his place, especially being down one member already, I would have gone for all 3 teams ganging up on Boogie's team. Then, if they succeed, Dan's two become the swing votes between Janelle and Britney's side.


"RE: Big Brother #14 Week #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread: Someone's HoH And I Don't Care."
Posted by Estee on 07-15-12 at 08:28 PM
LAST EDITED ON 07-24-12 AT 07:06 AM (EST)

I see Joe got Rachel's no-microphones Diary Room.

(It's official, BTW: coaches do not vote.)

Willie, being a Hantz and a hamster, is trying to make a side alliance with Frank, whom he feels he has a lot in common with. Because they're both lying about their family. Not that Willie knows yet... Frank feels comfortable and tells Malin about the talk, plus that he doesn't think he has any chance of being nominated.

There's a crane game in one of the rooms. Hmm.

Ian starts to creep the rest of the cage out. He keeps moving from room to room -- except when a female is taking a shower, and then he just hangs out in the bathroom. He then streaks through the house. With Joe's cowboy hat strategically placed. Joe can never use it again.

Julie announces the new power: Coach's Competition. Each week, the four (or less) coaches will play their own game. Winner gets to award safety from nomination (and presumably veto backfire) to one person on their team. (Malin looks smug when this is announced, like he knew it all along.) Loser determines the Have-Nots. Janelle wants to defend her crown. Britney will be happy not to die.

Commercials. They bring mercy.


"RE: Big Brother #14 Week #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread: Someone's HoH And I Don't Care."
Posted by michel on 07-15-12 at 10:38 PM
"Loser determine have nots" is what Julie said yet even Boogie had to designate a slopper. Weird twist. Especially for Shane who won the HOH competition and is still on slop???

"Big Brother Derby"
Posted by Estee on 07-15-12 at 08:46 PM
My Little Britney, My Little Britney...

(You would have had to see it.)

Willie is the host. He's not comfortable in the role or with reading the card.

CC is a circle chase of a sort Survivor viewers will find familiar: start at two separate halfway points on the track and chase each other around until you catch your opponent -- only instead of running in water, this track is soaped and has two barriers plus a couple of inclines. Initial matches are Malin vs. Britney (Britney out) and Dan vs. Janelle (he throws it because protecting one player makes the other a target. Yes, that's his logic). Malin then beats Janelle and awards protection to Ian.

This ruins Willie's week, as he wanted to nominate everyone's biggest annoyance and get a no-payback HoH under his belt. Now he can go back on his word to Frank, or he can annoy his coaches. Britney and Janelle suggest Frank and Kara: the two darlings from those teams. What does Willie do? What does he do?

BTW, each coach has to chose one person from their group to be a Have-Not: winning and placing meant nothing. (Shane, Ashley, Danielle, Ian) And the room? Swirled. Very swirled. Worse, so are the beds: bare pillows, no sheets, and a ridge-bump covered metal surface curved inward at a thirty-degree angle. This is a back injury that's found a place to happen and just for that, it moves to the head of the pack for worst Have-Not room ever. People will kill to avoid this -- but under the current rules, we'll always have hamsters stuck...


"RE: Big Brother Derby"
Posted by michel on 07-15-12 at 10:41 PM
Survivor viewers? This type of pursuit predates Survivor!

As for Willie, he seems to be able to read better than his brother. That's something.


"Joe Vs. The Pantry"
Posted by Estee on 07-15-12 at 08:51 PM
As threatened, Joe is cooking for the house. And guess what? He's not bad, there's some skill there -- but it's easy to see why he doesn't have a restaurant any more. He has no food cost organ or portion control gene. What Joe doesn't understand (and Malin does) is that the house only gets a limited amount of supply each week and if they burn through it, they have to take Britney's road and learn to eat teabags. Strings included. Joe is making huge amounts of food and tossing most of it, so leaf-chewing is on the horizon and getting closer by the meal. Malin hopes that makes Joe a target and goes to try and talk Willie into it while he still has the calories to work with.

Willie claims to have no idea what to do. So if the casting department is hiring, he's in good shape.


"Nominations."
Posted by Estee on 07-15-12 at 09:02 PM
Ian has a duck on his head. No one mentions it.

(Insert Pratchett reference here.)

Worth noting: Willie can't nominate anyone from his own team at this stage: their keys are nowhere in sight or placed in the wheel. Ian also holds his own key for the duration. And interestingly, when the keys are drawn, only Danielle gives the traditional thanks to the HoH. This may be editing, but...

Ultimately, this works out to Frank and Kara. Willie makes the awkward it's-got-to-be-someone speech while admitting he's never even spoken to Kara, but confessionals that he was going for the strongest player on each of the two opposing teams. Frank is stunned: he thought they had a deal in place. Malin starts to consider revenge. Britney takes the coaching credit. And we wrap the episode.

Gosh, this was fun.


"RE: Nominations."
Posted by michel on 07-15-12 at 10:42 PM
Actually, Shane and Jojo both received keys so they could have been nominated.

"RE: Nominations."
Posted by Estee on 07-16-12 at 04:40 AM
*reviews* You're right (and my bad: I was watching last night in a state of choppy exhaustion). It just seemed like there were way too few keys in the wheel, even after you factored out not being able to place the mentors. A very fast nomination ceremony.

"Wednesday's episode"
Posted by michel on 07-18-12 at 09:12 PM
I thought Dan was smart. In fact, I thought he was the only smart winner besides Will. Yet, he needed Janelle to tell him that Boogie was throwing him under the bus. Dan should have been the one going to Janelle and Britney, combining his team with theirs.

I liked how Britney handled Boogie. Now, let's see if she can get Frank out of there.


"RE: Wednesday's episode"
Posted by Round Robin on 07-19-12 at 03:45 AM
Anybody who ever watched Boogie's previous seasons is a complete idiot to ever trust that son of a B or work with him in the cage or make any deals with him. Boogie would slice his own mother's lungs out to win a BB game, and by now these dummies oughta know that.

"RE: Big Brother #14 Week #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread: Someone's HoH And I Don't Care."
Posted by kingfish on 07-18-12 at 09:18 PM
13 seasons of BB, and they are still trying to make deals that offer something now for consideration next week, or later.

No one seems to remember the Kyser rule.


"Vote night."
Posted by Estee on 07-19-12 at 08:32 PM
In which we get rid of either Frank or Kara, at least temporarily. Jodi has been released to the outer world and is back on the Internet happily wondering what she escaped from, but that doesn't mean we won't get Revive-A-Hamster eventually. Or Switch-A-Mentor-To-A-Player. Or just about anything except Cancel-This-Mess-And-Fire-Grodner-From-A-Missile-Silo, which might bump up ratings on the series finale.

Note to those who haven't paid attention to the live feeds: much of tonight's flashback footage featuring the ReplaceHantz will likely show him in a bed. This one doesn't move much. Or spell very well. Don't ask about his romantic prowess: we're a PG-13 board.

Also, there may be mention of Fruit Loops. Stay tuned.


"RE: Big Brother #14 Week #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread: Someone's HoH And I Don't Care."
Posted by Estee on 07-19-12 at 09:15 PM
Recap/preview. Ian kicks himself in the face. I can barely imagine a more useful game skill than that.

Willie believes he can manipulate anyone and everyone. I believe Willie can't spell 'manipulate'. But right now, Kara is the greatest threat the cage has ever known and he must get rid of her. So from his power bed, he tries to get the alliance turned against this awesome force.

Willie then decides to take the coaches out of his game. Because no one tells him what to do. Mostly because he can't spell 'do' either. House meeting! No coaches allowed! Coaches might become players and then they'd know all your secrets!

Up in HoH (and the bed), Willie explains himself. There are key slots next to the mentor pictures on the memory wall. These can be filled with keys at any time, and if the mentors enter the game, he feels they'll win. Ian points out that the cast is in fact unusually small this year: fourteen has been the standard for a while now. Wil desperately wants to take a day off from gametalk. (The feedsters agree: all this group ever does is debate play.) Joe thinks Willie is reading too far ahead in the book. Little does Joe know Willie can barely read.

Next up: boom.


"RE: Big Brother #14 Week #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread: Someone's HoH And I Don't Care."
Posted by michel on 07-19-12 at 10:05 PM
Britney was both smart to realize what those extra keyholes could mean and dumb to tell Willie about it. In these games, keep the info for yourself. How did she expect telling Willie that she might be competing for his money would help her?

OTOH, Willie managed to throw his own chances away!


"RE: Big Brother #14 Week #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread: Someone's HoH And I Don't Care."
Posted by Estee on 07-19-12 at 10:51 PM
She did realize her mistake on the feeds and eventually tried to calm Willie down, but you can imagine how well that worked.

"Fruit Looping."
Posted by Estee on 07-19-12 at 09:24 PM
(Don't ask.)

Frank does not trust Willie. Willie seems to be lying to Frank. A lot. Frank tells Joe that Willie mocked Wil's voice. Joe tells Wil. This spreads out from there, gradually telephone-mutating to Willie having full-scale homophobia, and gets to Britney, who tells Willie. Willie forces himself to leave the bed and go to the backyard where he confronts Frank, with Malin in attendance.

Much stupidity ensues.

Fruit Loops are invoked. Because Willie is a grown-ass man. Just like Rory. They can eat their Fruit Loops together in a grown-ass manly way. Votes are thrown around. Votes are demanded. And the stupidity doesn't so much end as run into the commercial break.

Julie threatens a big surprise for the coaches.

It's never anything but a threat.


"The vote."
Posted by Estee on 07-19-12 at 09:33 PM
Or so Julie claims. What, no At Home With The Hantzes? Well, maybe in five minutes.

JoJo, what's the mood in the house? A little weird, a little tension, a whole lot of bed.

Wil, give us one word to describe the first thirteen days. (His expression here is begging for a screencap.) He goes with 'Oh, goodness.' So Willie can't spell and Wil can't count. Good to know.

Malin, what's harder, coaching or playing? Coaching, because he has to think about people other than himself, and he just can't do that, Julie! Induct him into the player ranks! This is too hard!

Frank makes his speech. Calls out bullying in the house.

Kara makes her speech. Reminds people to think about deals made for votes.

(Willie is rubbing his face almost constantly as the votes start. He doesn't hide tension well.)

The first four votes break down 2-2. No surprise: the rats arranged it to have a little mystery heading into the break. But this is very early in the episode to be doing this. Whatever that coach's surprise is, it could take a while...


"Pic of Wil's face"
Posted by Rebel Crown on 07-20-12 at 01:51 AM
<<Wil, give us one word to describe the first thirteen days. (His expression here is begging for a screencap.)>>

The fine kids over at TVClubhouse do a great job screencapping lots of things in the BB house. Including this precious moment:


"RE: Pic of Wil's face"
Posted by Estee on 07-20-12 at 05:54 AM
'I need a way to say 'I am in Hell and you are the devil' without offending her. And I have to do it in one word.'


"RE: Pic of Wil's face"
Posted by jbug on 07-20-12 at 09:27 AM
"I hope nobody heard that one"

"The rest of the vote."
Posted by Estee on 07-19-12 at 09:44 PM
Kara evicted 5-3, with Ashley's vote as the final nail. Dumb Blondes alliance is alive and well on another show. Well, one dumb blonde...

The audience was a little shocked -- and Kara got a cheer upon emerging. Longest goodbye hug to Danielle. Ashley looked miserable. Maybe she just realized what she was in bed with. Literally.

Julie: the lesson of Kara is that if you are not a loud obnoxious semi-personality, you will lose this game! So either become a complete boar/bitch or save your application! Now go out and commit a felony! Our casting department loves that!

No indication of whether Kara is going to sequester to await a Revival chance. Instead, we're going right to HoH after the commercial. And there's still a lot of time on the clock.

Hmm.



"HoH competition."
Posted by Estee on 07-19-12 at 09:55 PM
Target Isolation Booths Of Doom! (Take a drink.) The hamsters were woken up time and time again last night for lousy newsreel footage of a burglar in the house. Stupid quiz questions on what they saw follow. Just about everyone gets knocked out pretty early except for Wil and -- Frank. So naturally, in the end, Frank wins HoH and collects his key from Willie, who passes it sideways from the spectator area, completely unable to look at the new recipient. And yes, you have seen this script before. Every. Single. Season.

Next up: Da Coach Twist. In theory.


"HoH competition: Fixed? I Say Yes!"
Posted by michel on 07-19-12 at 10:15 PM
The burglar ate three apples so how is he not guilty of eating 2? I mean, you rob three banks so they can't convict you on the first two???

I bet that question was put in there with instructions that whatever Frank answered would be the "good" answer.


"RE: HoH competition: Fixed? I Say Yes!"
Posted by Estee on 07-19-12 at 11:05 PM
LAST EDITED ON 07-19-12 AT 11:08 PM (EST)

It has not escaped my sense of irony that we have the son of a WWE performer on a show partially scripted by a former WWE writer. The cage always runs on vengeance -- but look who they have to sell the shot.


"Da Twist."
Posted by Estee on 07-19-12 at 09:59 PM
Post-HoH reactions.

Frank: happy.
Willie: miserable.
Malin: power-drunk.

Julie tells the mentors that the winner of this week's Coach's Challenge makes a choice: either protect one player on their team -- or swap for any other player (except Frank) from any other team. And that's the episode.

Can the DR get a Hantz out of this one? Of course! But try to enjoy your false hope anyway. G'night.


"RE: Da Twist."
Posted by michel on 07-19-12 at 10:10 PM
If Britney wins the coach's comp, she should trade Willie for Danielle. Get rid of her problem and of Dan in one week!

What would Dan do if he wins? I think he'd be better off to keep Danielle because now that the house has exploded, she should be fine.

Janelle and Boogie don't need to win but Boogie might decide to get rid of Ian while Janelle could be tempted to get rid of the chef. I feel either one would be too bold of a move though, especially this early.