A web site called thestraightpoop.com obtained a copy of a letter sent to Kelly by Susan sometime after the "Survivor" taping ended. It is printed in its entirety below:

Deer Kelli,

I still think you are a steemin pile of moose crap but I want to be frends with you anyways. I no know that what I sad was rong to you about you being a rat and all (your not a rat, your moose crap like I said up dere) but I think maybe I shuldnt have said that then. Maybe I just shoulda said "Kelli, you really piss me off and you make me want to shoot you with my shotgun but then I'd get moose crap all over my boots." Anyways when I said "Kelli I wouldn't give you water if you were laying on the road all thursty and stuff" what I ment to say was "Kelli I would give you water if you were laying on the road but then I would run over you with my truck, back up and run over you agan."

Your friend,

Soozin

• RE: Soozin letter turns up!,boltupright, 12:55 PM, 08-24-00
  • Special News Bulletin:,SuperPole2000, 06:05 AM, 08-25-00
    • RE: Special News Bulletin:,Vampkira, 10:12 AM, 08-25-00
• RE: Soozin letter turns up!,Dee, 01:01 PM, 08-25-00

This just in......

Kelly has rented a bulldozer with another fraudulent credit card. She was last seen headed eastbound. When asked at the rental office what she required the bulldozer for, she replied, "I have to move a trailer, somewheres in Wisconsin"

Reliable sources have just confirmed that Kelly Wiglesworth and Susan Hawk of CBS's "Survivor" fame have just concluded contract negotiations to settle their much publicized war of words in a Winner-take-all Fight to the Death Moose Crap Wrestling match to aired on pay for view on Christmas day.

Both contestents appeared confident as they emerged from negotiations to board Greyhound buses back to their respective homes in Wisconsin and Nevada. Wiglesworth was sporting an unusual necklace, from which was hanging a rat skull, a vial of river water, and what appeared to be a peice of petrified nose flesh, but declined to comment when questioned about the necklace. Hawk displayed an excessive eagerness to speak, but was shunned by reporters and spectators alike. She boarded the bus screaming a stream of profanities and sat for two hours until a bus driver who was drunk enough to be willing to drive it could be found.

When questioned by reporters, producer Mark Burnett attempted to lie and got his ass kicked in retaliation for the Gervase X theory/website scandal by vindictive members of the media. He then agreed to release these details:

The winner will receive a 1974 Chevy pickup truck with custom suspension, oversized wheels, gun rack, and a newly rebuilt 350 motor; a $1000 prepaid Walmart credit card, a One Year's supply of Midol Extra Strength, and a kiss on the bare ass from the loser. The winner will also receive a contract for a photo shoot with Hustler Magazine valued at $20.

The loser will subsequently be subjected to 30 minutes of uninterrupted taunting by the winner and then be cast into a pit of rattlesnakes for a CBS network special presentation not scheduled to be aired until New Year's Eve.

Associated Press
SuperPole2000

Now THAT.. I'd pay to see.

"Hey, we ARE on a game show!"- Colleen

TOO TOO FUNNY! I've read it 3 or 4 times and every time I laugh as if I just read it for the first time. Hilarious!