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Thread Number: 12365
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Original Message
"The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 03:14 PM
I got this via email, and decided to spread the "gospel", so to speak.
--------------

Ok folks, I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, trans-sexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual-bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world!


Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture wars, the Retrosexual movement.

The RetroSexual Code :

A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.

A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.

A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.


A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.

A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)

A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.

A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.

A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.

A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major re-invention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.

A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, or favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention to you. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.

A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot.

A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.

A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.

A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, but that guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot.

Crying. There are very few reasons that a Retrosexaul may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part.

A Retrosexual man's favorite movie isn't "Maid in Manhattan" (unless that refers to some foxy French maid sitting in a huge tub of brandy or whiskey), or "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood." Acceptable ones may include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in his better days), Rambo I or II, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy, Scarface, The Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, Rocky I, II, or III, Full Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull, Bullitt, any Bruce Lee movie, Apocalypse Now, Goodfellas, Reservior Dogs, Fight Club,etc .

When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, hell, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.

A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner.

A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.

A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.

A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20 mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride on a plow berm.

A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he darn well wanted it to land.

A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except officers above 2nd Lt).
NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.

A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.

A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT.



Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by okaloosajohn on 04-13-04 at 03:17 PM
Tell it brother.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by ginger on 04-13-04 at 03:18 PM
You go, Girl!


TEASING. Nothing wrong with retroality.

"Any government that would deny a gay man bridal registry is fascist." Margaret Cho

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by geg6 on 04-13-04 at 03:18 PM
NB, are you sure you're not my BF pretending to live in Texas?

geg6 *hearts* retrosexuals!!!!

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 04-13-04 at 03:19 PM
Dood, if you don't cry at the end of Field of Dreams or Brian's Song, you're not human.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 03:20 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-13-04 AT 03:22 PM (EST)

I think those would fall under the "but not limited to" clause of that particular rule. But only the ORIGINAL Brian's Song.



Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 04-13-04 at 03:22 PM
Of course. I'm pretending there never was a remake.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by ginger on 04-13-04 at 03:26 PM
You know, every true story ends in death.



And that was a true story. Da Da Da Da DUH (the theme music alone makes me weepy).

"Any government that would deny a gay man bridal registry is fascist." Margaret Cho

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 04-13-04 at 03:28 PM
One of the all time great movie openings:

"Ernest Hemingway once wrote that every true story ends in death. This is a true story."

Another good line:

"I think I owe you a beer."

"I think I owe you a lot more."

And the scene where Sayers tells the team about Piccolo? Cry like a baby...

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 03:31 PM
You mean the speech scene?

"So when you hit your knees tonight..."



Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 04-13-04 at 03:31 PM
That's the one

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 03:33 PM
Like a freakin' baby, dude.


Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by ginger on 04-13-04 at 03:40 PM
*sniff*

*sniff*




Billy Dee Williams turned 67 this week.

"Any government that would deny a gay man bridal registry is fascist." Margaret Cho

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 04-13-04 at 03:42 PM
There, there.

Did he celebrate with a Colt 45 Malt Liquor?

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by ginger on 04-13-04 at 03:55 PM

Dunno. He didn't invite me. I guess the love letter I wrote him in 1970 never arrived.

"Any government that would deny a gay man bridal registry is fascist." Margaret Cho

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by MTW1961 on 04-13-04 at 03:22 PM
A Retrosexual wouldn't cry, but might weep silently, and would NEVER openly admit it!


Handcrafted by RollDdice!
Do Retros use smileys in their posts ?

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 03:26 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-13-04 AT 03:27 PM (EST)

Agreed.


Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

Yes. On a limited basis, and nothing fancy. With the exception of , they must include either a colon or parentheses.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Esbea on 04-13-04 at 03:33 PM
yep

my husbands colon frequently brings me to tears, does that count?
"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 03:34 PM

Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

No, but I can sympathize. Been there.
""
Posted by okaloosajohn on 04-13-04 at 03:23 PM
Check.


"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by anotherkim on 04-13-04 at 03:26 PM
They are sports-related, so they would probably be okay.


--is married to a retro.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by LeftPinky on 04-14-04 at 09:29 AM
Where did you find him?

Or did you send him to a training course? My DH could use some training!

created by the amazing JSlice!
Of course, I've had him too long to return him to his mother. The warranty has expired.

"bwahahahaha"
Posted by Esbea on 04-13-04 at 03:20 PM
"A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major re-invention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it."


can you come sharpen my garden shears please?

"RE: bwahahahaha"
Posted by MTW1961 on 04-13-04 at 03:37 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-13-04 AT 03:38 PM (EST)

Would a Retro give up some manliness just to get la!d?


Handcrafted by RollDdice!
Husband's colon? I'm trying to figure out if I "get it". Did I miss an inside joke?

"RE: bwahahahaha"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 04:10 PM
Refer back to:

"A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major re-invention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it."

"Excessive" is the key word.


Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"I'm out."
Posted by I_Got_Nutn on 04-13-04 at 03:22 PM
DEAL WITH IT.

Yeah, It's a JSlice

"RE: I'm out."
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 03:24 PM
That's the spirit!!



Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by samiam on 04-13-04 at 03:22 PM
*sways with hands raised*

Preach it!


I don't want his nails to look better than mine.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 04-13-04 at 03:23 PM
Move along.

If you paint your nails, do they still hold wood together as well?

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 03:24 PM
Nothing to see here.


Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

Probably, but that falls under "feng shui" or somethin', and must not be done

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by I_Got_Nutn on 04-13-04 at 03:31 PM
Please go about your business.

Yeah, It's a JSlice
Does galvanized count as painted?

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by samiam on 04-13-04 at 03:53 PM
Nope. Down there.


Take out the word "together" and you've got yourself a true statement. Although I don't paint my nails, except my toenails, which are currently done in "Greece Just Blue Me Away".

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 04:13 PM
Keep going.


Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

I *heart* Sami. Just sayin'.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by I_Got_Nutn on 04-13-04 at 05:26 PM
What are you looking at?

Yeah, It's a JSlice
Is that an OPI color?

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by wildchickenhunter on 04-13-04 at 03:28 PM
This is pretty much how I was raised Nailbone....I live it everyday...

Movie you left out....Oulaw Josie Wales....He kills lots of bad folk in that one.

P.S. married to a woman who strongly prefers retrosexuals.




Flying my car to the nudie bar!

Now give me a gun and a cigar i'm heading to the nudie bar.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by RollDdice on 04-13-04 at 03:44 PM
Tell it brutha!

Just one thing... "Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)"

Retrosexual Men have no idea what an "endcap" is. They suspect it is something that Metrosexuals use during sex.



Leaving now to catch up with WCH at the nudie bar...

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by tjstein on 04-13-04 at 03:33 PM
O.M.H.

That describes my hubby to a tee. I just had to copy & paste that and send it to him. I could even guarantee that he doesn't even KNOW what Hot Topic is, much less wear something from there.


slice slice baby!

I love my manly man.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by TechNoir on 04-13-04 at 03:34 PM
My God, I'm a retrosexual.


© J Slice, who rocks
There are no freak treechipper "accidents".

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 04-13-04 at 03:41 PM
Like we didn't know that already.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by samiam on 04-13-04 at 04:14 PM
So...tell me about this wound.


*will go out and get one similar in her efforts to be Just.Like.TechNoir.*

"To quote Nailbone in another thread:"
Posted by greenmonstah on 04-13-04 at 03:39 PM
*making a gang sign and waving it the air* Yeeeeah!!! yeeeeah!!yeeeah!!!

<--- happily forever married to a retro-retrosexual...

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by DoodleBug on 04-13-04 at 03:43 PM
Must forward to retrosexual hubby.


Snazzy new sigpic by Slice
Weren't you like over 50% female on the male/female quiz? *ducks and runs*

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 04:25 PM
Yes, dammit. That's why I've decided to follow the Retrosexual Code.



Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by MTW1961 on 04-13-04 at 04:36 PM
I'm with you nailbone - going Retrosexual all the way from now on! However:

A Retrosexual wouldn't blindly follow some so-called "code" he finds on the internet. We will use it as a guideline and decide for ourselves what to follow!


Handcrafted by RollDdice!
Have you hugged your TiVo today? <<== and Retros don't HUG THEIR TiVO's, so I'm changing my tagline.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 04:38 PM
Oh I didn't just "find" it. It was sent to me by someone I trust implicitly.



Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"Then....."
Posted by DoodleBug on 04-13-04 at 05:03 PM
DEAL WITH IT!


Snazzy new sigpic by Slice

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by geg6 on 04-13-04 at 03:44 PM
You know, all truly liberated women (myself included) prefer retrosexuals. That is because we are totally secure in our femininity and wouldn't want any men horning in on our territory. Just like we don't want to horn in on theirs (except perhaps football...real women llllvvvvooooeeee football).

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by miamicatt on 04-13-04 at 03:50 PM
(true dat.)


Kick-a$$ new sig by JSlice!

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by DoodleBug on 04-13-04 at 04:10 PM
Yup. Totally agree.


Snazzy new sigpic by Slice

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by AugustGirl on 04-13-04 at 05:32 PM
Sing it sis-tah!


Lvoes me some manly mens.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by KeithFan on 04-13-04 at 03:51 PM
Finally!!

Something I can call myself and be proud of it!


Excuse me while I go kill something for supper!

"Wow!"
Posted by Siren on 04-13-04 at 04:00 PM
I must say, NB, that I'm suddenly very attracted to you right now. *swoon*


another fantabulous Kittyloaf® creation
Two swoons in one day? Please don't tell Mr. Siren, my own retrosexual.

"RE: Wow!"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 04:26 PM
So Siren, how YOU doin'?



Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"RE: Wow!"
Posted by Siren on 04-13-04 at 04:36 PM
*blushing*
I'm doing fine, cowboy.
*giggle*



another fantabulous Kittyloaf® creation
Is it hot in here or is it just all these retrosexual manly men?

"RE: Wow!"
Posted by MTW1961 on 04-13-04 at 04:38 PM
That's the heat of some manly testosterone, baby!


Handcrafted by RollDdice!
Have you given your TiVo a nice, firm handshake today?

"RE: Wow!"
Posted by J I M B O on 04-13-04 at 04:59 PM
Have you given your TiVo a nice, firm handshake today?

Maybe unnoticed by some, but this gets my "laughed out loud" award of the day! Very nice.


"RE: Wow!"
Posted by MTW1961 on 04-13-04 at 05:09 PM
>Have you given your TiVo a
>nice, firm handshake today?
>
Thanks for noticing J I M B O! ::GRUNT::

>
>
>



Handcrafted by RollDdice!
Have you given your TiVo a nice, firm handshake today?

"Queer queer queer queer queer"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 04-13-04 at 04:53 PM
If you're a retosexual, why are you reading this?

I do hope you're kidding on some of those. Most are good, but was raised by a retrosexual here, including with the "Deal with it" stuff---that's why all of his kids (and not just the gay one) ended up in therapy.


Handcrafted by RollDdice
The fool that persists in his folly becomes wise.
OT Prince of Hospitality

"Beer Beer Beer Beer Beer"
Posted by J I M B O on 04-13-04 at 05:01 PM
Well, it didn't say that retrosexuals would wind up needing therapy (or putting others into it)...

Sorry, but had to replace queer with beer...just for the sake of the thresd and all. Hope you understand.

"RE: Beer Beer Beer Beer Beer"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 04-13-04 at 05:14 PM
Here's the quote: "You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention to you. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT."
In reality, Dad paid plenty of attention to me, it was my poor older brother (who died young due to a stress-related heart attack--he got into therapy too late) who got ignored. But....

Anyway, I'm just sensitive about some of the issues cuz Oregon has been in a culture war for 16 years over the gay issue. Nearly every church I've visited recently has decided it's time to condemn those terrible queers. I'm just tired of the whole issue.
For the record, I'm far from being the stereotypical gay. But, it was the stereotypical gays that were on the front lines in the early days of the gay movement, not us ones who could "pass". Just sticking up for my comrades is all, and their right to act and behave how they want, and not to be called less of a man for it. They had more courage than most people I know.

And maybe I'm making a bigger deal out of this than needs to be, but like I said, Oregon's been a combat zone over this issue for too long. We're all a little shell-shocked here.


Handcrafted by RollDdice
A little rebellion now and then is a medicine necessary for the sound health of government. -Thomas Jefferson
OT Prince of Hospitality

"RE: Beer Beer Beer Beer Beer"
Posted by J I M B O on 04-13-04 at 05:23 PM
Well, there's certainly the stereotypical "shut in all emotions" kind of Deal With It among men, and then there's an emotionally abusive sort that is beyond being stereotyped in the humorous way this was intended. I grew up in the former, and it sounds like you may have seen the latter. I know you didn't mean to make this thresd about that, but still, I understand why it would hit a nerve. Sorry to hear what happened to your brother.

{{{hugs}}} *extends hand*

"RE: Beer Beer Beer Beer Beer"
Posted by MTW1961 on 04-13-04 at 05:26 PM
>Here's the quote: "You are NOT
>allowed to see a shrink
>because Daddy didn't pay you
>enough attention to you. Daddy
>was busy DEALING WITH IT."

Dan, that's kind of the point. A RETRO doesn't let the lack of attention from Daddy define his worth! (sorry about your brother - hope you understand I mean no disrespect)

>Anyway, I'm just sensitive about some
>of the issues cuz Oregon
>has been in a culture
>war for 16 years over
>the gay issue. Nearly
>every church I've visited recently
>has decided it's time to
>condemn those terrible queers.
>I'm just tired of the
>whole issue.
>For the record, I'm far from
>being the stereotypical gay.
>But, it was the stereotypical
>gays that were on the
>front lines in the early
>days of the gay movement,
>not us ones who could
>"pass". Just sticking up
>for my comrades is all,
>and their right to act
>and behave how they want,
>and not to be called
>less of a man for
>it.

Again, in my opinion, a Retro doesn't care whether you or your comrades (or anyone else for that matter) are gay or not. We don't care or want to know anything about what you do behind closed doors. We DO reserve the right to be sickened by the antics of "stereotypical gays", but in turn, respect their right to act as they want!

I interpret the "don't watch anything with Queer in the title" as a rebellion against the overt identification of sexuality and especially the promotion of stereotypical gay behaviour.


Handcrafted by RollDdice!
Have you given your TiVo a nice, firm handshake today?

"RE: Queer queer queer queer queer"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 05:05 PM
I don't know which ones would be that offensive, but that certainly isn't my intent.

And, *whispers* I have watched "Queer Eye" twice...


Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"RE: Queer queer queer queer queer"
Posted by okaloosajohn on 04-13-04 at 05:08 PM
Oh, please!


At least say you didn't watch it all the way thru...

"RE: Queer queer queer queer queer"
Posted by nailbone on 04-13-04 at 05:26 PM
Sadly, I did. But actually, the best part was the "tips" at the end.


Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"RE: Queer queer queer queer queer"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 04-13-04 at 05:38 PM
I would so be willing to be on While You Were Out if Leslie Segrete were one of the carpenters and Chayse Dacoda were the designer. Or Trading Spaces if Wynn and Genevieve were involved.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by J Slice on 04-13-04 at 05:36 PM


Eh. I still like my caring boyfriend who enjoys a good romantic comedy, takes exceptionally good care of his skin (this is waaaay pre-Queer Eye. He's just well-groomed), and takes longer than me to get ready in the morning.

I don't need the door held for me, I don't think it's fair or right to make the guy pay all the time, and I don't wanna date a guy who has a gun. period.

So does that make me a dirty feminist? probably. But I don't really care. Who assigns our gender roles anyway?

/end anthro major rant


The adventerously kinky Kittyloaf®: accept no substitutes.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Asrai on 04-13-04 at 05:50 PM
*Hugs Slicey real tight*

I don't even give a sh!t who sees our PDA, baby!

Don't label me anything, I'm just sexual, dammit!


Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!


"A Sexual Dammit??"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 04-13-04 at 05:58 PM
Kinky.........


Handcrafted by RollDdice
A little rebellion now and then is a medicine necessary for the sound health
of government.
-Thomas Jefferson
OT Prince of Hospitality

"RE: A Sexual Dammit??"
Posted by Asrai on 04-13-04 at 06:16 PM
Me? Kinky? Where did you ever get an idea like that, Dan?

*checks to see if her cuffs and floggers are in the appropriate harnesses. Damn, are my nipple rings with chains extending down to my 'other' rings showing again? I'll never get the hang of this, will I?*


Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!


"RE: A Sexual Dammit??"
Posted by J I M B O on 04-13-04 at 06:34 PM
For having a turtle in your sigpic, you aint got much of a shell to come out of Assray!

Not that anyone is complaining...

"*hugs* and*smooshies* to all you macho men"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 04-13-04 at 05:55 PM
*snort* Especially Jimbo and Nailbone. As was said above, a couple nerves are raw, I reacted too soon, and well.....

FTR, I also think Queer Eye reinforces stereotypes, but I watch it cuz I like to see what they do with the place (and then Sweetie and I shred the parts that are just wrong--we always shred the impossible hairstyles and ridiculous clothes). We don't get cable, so we watch it only when it's on NBC and there are no Judy Garland movies on (*snort*).


Handcrafted by RollDdice
A little rebellion now and then is a medicine necessary for the sound health of government.
-Thomas Jefferson
OT Prince of Hospitality

"RE: *hugs* and*smooshies* to all you macho men"
Posted by MTW1961 on 04-13-04 at 06:46 PM
Hey, what about me?


Handcrafted by RollDdice!
Have you given your TiVo a nice, firm handshake today?

"RE: *hugs* and*smooshies* to all you macho men"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 04-13-04 at 07:32 PM
I was saving something "special" for you. It's a new thing called a *smoodgie*, and it's something you're sure to enjoy.


Handcrafted by RollDdice

"RE: *hugs* and*smooshies* to all you macho men"
Posted by MTW1961 on 04-13-04 at 07:35 PM
Thanks Dan!


Handcrafted by RollDdice!
I will be a man and pretend it didn't hurt

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by RudyRules on 04-13-04 at 06:09 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-13-04 AT 06:10 PM (EST)

DUDE,
WELL SAID!
I *Heart* you, but in a Retrosexual kind of way, that's for sure!

ETA: SWOOP!


Have a beer and let's do some huntin' (soon as we sober up)

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 06:25 PM
I want to be a retrosexual. Oh wait, I am a retrosexual, trapped in a lesbian's body.
Now you want to talk about needing therapy, OY.


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 04-13-04 at 06:44 PM
My former boss always said he was a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Wait. Hasn't that been said here before?
You? a retrosexual? Don't tell me you've never seen Queer Eye. And you lipstick lesbians are just drag queens in disguise (you are a lipstick lesbian aren't you? Or can a lipstick lesbian love softball? I'm not sure of the rules anymore--they keep changing them. I'm still waiting for my toaster oven like the one Laura Dern gave Ellen.).


Handcrafted by RollDdice
The fool that persists in his folly becomes wise.
OT Prince of Hospitality

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Asrai on 04-13-04 at 06:47 PM
I think the real question is, is she a 'crunchie' or a 'grouchy'? Me thinks she's a 'crunchie since she lives in SF. At least, that's what the handbook said!


Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!


"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 06:48 PM
I am on the low end of the lesbo totem pole. I'm not a lipstick lesbian by any means, but I'm not a butch dyke either. I'm more of a Kristy Mcnichol tomboy. If I wear a dress I look like a really bad drag queen but I don't look like a dude either. I think Kristy is the best way to describe me. I have a toaster oven, but you are a guy so you don't get one. Only real lesbians get them.


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"How come only lesbians get toaster ovens?"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 04-13-04 at 08:01 PM
That's like giving RuPaul a chainsaw, isn't it? Or do lesbians know how to cook?


Handcrafted by RollDdice
A little rebellion now and then is a medicine necessary for the sound health
of government.
-Thomas Jefferson
OT Prince of Hostility

"RE: How come only lesbians get toaster ovens?"
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 08:05 PM
Oh honey, we have wonderful pot lucks, didn't you read the handbook?


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"Yeah, but...."
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 04-13-04 at 09:10 PM
Where do you get the food? When I first went my church, it was mostly lesbians. Our potlucks were KFC and store-bought potato salad.
It wasn't until we got a couple competitive queens that things got interesting. Then we had Presidential banquets: Beef Wellington, slow-roasted ham, potatoes done 20 different ways, massive shrimp Louis, and....oh, wait. Eventually a lesbian chef came along and joined the fray (she did the shrimp Louis). Then we also got banquet-sized desserts along with more meats. And, truthfully, this was for just one potluck!!!!
There's more, but I'm not sure if you're back on speaking terms with Vito "No Thumbs" Zamboni. *kissie kissie*


Handcrafted by RollDdice
The
fool that persists in his folly offends No Thumbs
OT Prince of Hospitality

"RE: Yeah, but...."
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 09:39 PM
We only buy our cole slaw at KFC. I love to cook, I made mac n cheese with Spam tonight.


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"RE: Yeah, but...."
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 04-13-04 at 11:22 PM
OMG! You're a gourmet!! Look out Queer Eye guys, BraveKnockerz is on the loose!


Handcrafted by RollDdice
The fool that persists in his folly tries to outcook BraveKnockerz
OT Prince of Hospitality

"RE: Yeah, but...."
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 11:23 PM
And she's got Spam.


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"RE: Yeah, but...."
Posted by Asrai on 04-13-04 at 11:30 PM
Mmmm, spiced meat in the shape of a brick.....my fave! NOT!



Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!


"Have we pirated this thread, or what?"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 04-13-04 at 11:32 PM
I tried the bar again, and either there's no one there or I'm doing something wrong.


Handcrafted by RollDdice
A little rebellion now and then is a medicine necessary for the sound health of government.
-Thomas Jefferson
OT Prince of Hospitality

"RE: Have we pirated this thread, or what?"
Posted by nailbone on 04-14-04 at 09:41 AM
Have we pirated this thread, or what?


Yes, and I can honestly say I'm madly in lvoe with both of you.



Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"RE: Have we pirated this thread, or what?"
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-14-04 at 10:30 AM
That was Asrai's plan all along.


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"RE: Have we pirated this thread, or what?"
Posted by Asrai on 04-14-04 at 06:09 PM
Yes, my plan worked! But, we are the lovable types, huh?! Besides, Boner has always loved little 'ol me ever since I blurted out, "Do me!" in a thread long ago!

*tosses smoochies all around like a Diva*


Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!


"*sigh*"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 04-14-04 at 05:59 PM
ahhh. I knew if I waited long enough it would finally happen. The answer is yes, Nailbone, yes yes yes and yes!!


Handcrafted by RollDdice
Knows the rules about bumping an old thread, but it's spring and I'm a young man in lvoe, so what is one to do?

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Asrai on 04-13-04 at 06:44 PM
*SMOOCHES*

Bravie darlin', I.HEART.YOU.

Just sayin'!



Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!


"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 06:50 PM
Thanks Asrai, you know I Heart You too. now didn't we have some kitty shopping to do? We will leave your husband at home to be a retrosexual.


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Asrai on 04-13-04 at 06:56 PM
Oooo, shopping, kitty shopping! As a true retrosexual, my hubby would demand that he watch. Watch us shop, that is! What'd you think I meant?! *giggles*


Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!


"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 07:05 PM
Of course I knew what you meant. If I weren't shopping with you I would want to watch us shop too. See, I am a retrosexual.


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Asrai on 04-13-04 at 07:08 PM
Honey, you absolutely slay me!!



Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!


"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 07:12 PM
Note to self,
this is a PG-13 board. Must remember. Be on best behaviour.


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Asrai on 04-13-04 at 07:17 PM
Be on best behaviour

Ahh man, that's no fun! Psst? Whisper it in my PM box! It'll be our little secret! LOL!



Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!


"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 07:33 PM
So was it good for you?


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Asrai on 04-13-04 at 07:49 PM
You even have to ask? It's always good!



Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!

Thinks it's hilarious that the 'girls' are hijacking the Retrosexual thread!


"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 07:51 PM
I swear to God Asrai, I was thinking the same thing. I was going to post how ironic and funny it was that not only did we threadjack the thread, we did it by flirting with one another and falling into a retrosexual fantasy. LOL


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by MTW1961 on 04-13-04 at 07:56 PM
Yea, but some of us Retro guys are watching you two flirt, and frankly, getting a little excited


Handcrafted by RollDdice!
"I think I'll go see what the wife's doing" - Can you name the movie from which this is quoted?

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 08:01 PM
Oh good, our plan is working.
What do you do when you are a retrosexual lesbian watching two women flirt and you are one of the two women. LOL


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Asrai on 04-13-04 at 08:10 PM
Well, I say, "stop watching, and get your focus back on me, dear!"


Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!


"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 08:12 PM
I like the agressive type.
brazen is fully focused again.


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Asrai on 04-13-04 at 08:30 PM
Well, I do have a softer side, as well. See, right here:

*turns around and points to her backside*

This side, not so aggressive!!



Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!

Looks around for MTW and winks in his direction!

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by MTW1961 on 04-14-04 at 03:16 AM
Oh Asrai, I love your not so agressive side!


Handcrafted by RollDdice!
I've been releasing pent-up energy

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Asrai on 04-14-04 at 06:11 PM
It's nice, huh? Wanna touch it? It's rather soft...feel it!


Sigpic crafted by the master himself, IceCat!

Sometimes, I'm too easy for my own good!

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 04-13-04 at 08:09 PM
Kitty shopping? Bwahahahahahahaha! ROFL! Never heard that one before. Bad lesbian! Bad lesbian!


Handcrafted by RollDdice
A little rebellion now and then is a medicine necessary for the sound health
of government.
-Thomas Jefferson
OT Prince of Whatever

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by MTW1961 on 04-13-04 at 06:45 PM
You don't need therapy; just DEAL WITH IT!


Handcrafted by RollDdice!
Have you given your TiVo a nice, firm handshake today?

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by brvnkrz on 04-13-04 at 06:51 PM
*spits soda all over keyboard*
*holds belly*
That was funny MTW, I enjoyed the laugh.


if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by nailbone on 04-14-04 at 10:03 AM
My buddy that sent me this calls himself a retrosexual/lesbian.



Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"UMMMM?"
Posted by sticks on 04-13-04 at 09:16 PM
swoop?
"RE: UMMMM?"
Posted by nailbone on 04-14-04 at 09:43 AM
Beautiful!!

This, ladies and gentlemen, is how to swoop!!


Cool new sig courtesy of Jslice o-

"RE: The Retrosexual Movement"
Posted by desert_rhino on 04-14-04 at 05:04 AM
cute. quaint, even.