Let me preface everything I'm about to write by saying that in no way am I trying to diminish the tragedy that our country is going through by expressing unadulterated adoration for Fox's sublimely ridiculous ''Love Cruise.'' I hope no one is offended. Call me crazy. Call me shallow. Call me in denial. All of these may be true. But after two weeks of round-the-clock CNN, about 73 anxiety attacks, and two fear-induced trip cancellations, I needed a release.

Maybe I'm the only one. After all, ''Love Cruise: The Maiden Voyage'' didn't exactly score ''Survivor'' ratings numbers in its first-week. But the offensive, repulsive, moronic, and chillingly low-brow sitcom -- I mean, hour long drama -- has won me over. Maybe it's that watching requires negative brain cells. Maybe the people are pretty. Nah, ''Survivor'''s casting department bested these guys. Is it the boat? No way. Cruises are my idea of torture. Maybe that's it. As sucky as my life seems at the moment, I'd rather be where I am than on that Caribbean cruiser. Now that that's settled, let's discuss the contestants:

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MICHAEL This nebbish-y guy is spending too much time trying to strategize and outbrain the rest of the shipmates. Considering that the passengers' collective IQ (excluding Lisa) seems to be barely in the double digits, he shouldn't sweat that part. But he's got to lose the whole ''I used to be 200 pounds lighter'' shtick and at least look like he's having a halfway decent time.

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http://www.ew.com/ew/article/commentary/0,6115,177196~3~0~climbaboardfoxslove,00.html

• RE: Tomcat Cruise - Entertainment Weekly,SkyRaider, 02:42 PM, 10-02-01
  • RE: Tomcat Cruise - Entertainment Weekly,SurvivorBlows, 02:56 PM, 10-02-01
    • RE: Tomcat Cruise - Entertainment Weekly,Monkeyboy, 11:57 PM, 10-02-01

<<MICHAEL This nebbish-y guy is spending too much time trying to strategize and outbrain the rest of the shipmates. But he's got to lose the whole ''I used to be 200 pounds heavier" shtick and at least look like he's having a halfway decent time.>>

It's that damned hat! Anyone wearing a hat like that looks like they're on the way to discuss their upcoming surgery with their doctor.

Maybe Aunt Lillian gave it to him and insisted that he wear it because it always brought her luck when she wore it playing mah jong?

> It's that damned hat!
> Anyone wearing a hat
>like that looks like they're
>on the way to discuss
>their upcoming surgery with their
>doctor.

Maybe we should send him a new one. How about the below?

(no, there are no Love Cruise Sinks hats yet )

-SB

Ronnet...I think I'll join you on the psychiatrists couch to figure this one out.
Is it the ship? Maybe...it looks really kewl!
Is it the call of the open sea? Ehhh...seen one endless horizon of water and you've seen them all.
Is it Shakes? Maybe...he starting to act like the evil clown we all know.
Is it the bikinis? Maybe..but none of them are as cute as Colleen.
Is it Toni's buggy eyes? Maybe...it's fun to watch them pop out at the slightest provocation.

I dunno what it is...but I like it!