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Original Message
"Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 11-09-05 at 00:50 AM
LAST EDITED ON 11-10-05 AT 11:32 AM (EST)

Take off your rainbow shades, Racers, and welcome to Arizona! Did you like me driving around the go-kart track with my oobies flapping about? (eta pic link)

And I hope you waved to PM and mom2bjm when you were driving around.

There's once again a distinct ringing in my ears. Godlewskis, you didn't have anything to do with that, did you? Believe me, I'm not gonna be ANYwhere within 100 miles of you when this Race is done! Now go visit the Linzes; they're expecting you.

Weavers. We are so giving you every opportunity to get back the sympathy vote. We're even gonna have you be a pit crew in Riverside next. But every time we do, you all blow it. Are you practicing aseticism or something? It sure seems to have an effect on sacrificing Rachel's and Rebecca's clothing.

Linzes, you're young, strong, and steady. That means we never should have cast you. How about winning one of these legs, ok? Nice water fight, BTW.

Bransens, you think you might have gotten MORE money by bringing Wally over to the people, and threatening them with his presence if they didn't cough up?

Paolos, you should have offered to dress for the Bransens, and they could have had all YOUR clothes! You DID look ridiculous. Next season, we should have product placement for Fruit of the Loom. You'd be perfect for the spots, Tony. You're the best garbage mansanitation engineer we ever had on the show! (I will NOT miss your hugs, however! Nor will my 11th and 13th vertebrae!)

(Pssst. Production crew. Check the riverbed before we leave. Make sure the Paolo kid didn't go through with his threat. If you find Natalee Holloway, let me know that too.)

Next season is so being brought to us by Rand McNally, too!

Only those who have signed up in the signup thread may post as a Racer. Others may participate by posting as a non-Racer, e.g. a pilot, an artist, a go-kart track worker, a Grand Canyon or Glen Canyon tour guide, a member of the Fort McDowell Nation, a cameraperson or sound tech, or others. Or even as yourself, addressing the Racers. Be creative!

Remember: this is NOT a discussion thread, but a role-playing one. Have fun!


I really have Sophia Loren stashed somewhere on this houseboat. (Who is this kid, BTW?)
And I managed to do this without saying anything about "bungholes."

Table of contents
  • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,bystander, 08:53 AM, 11-09-05
    • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,byoffer, 09:13 AM, 11-09-05
      • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,Max Headroom, 10:31 AM, 11-09-05
        • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,byoffer, 10:51 AM, 11-09-05
    • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,zipperhead, 09:48 AM, 11-09-05
  • The kid,moonbaby, 09:02 AM, 11-09-05
    • RE: The kid,bystander, 10:05 AM, 11-09-05
  • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,zipperhead, 10:04 AM, 11-09-05
    • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,bystander, 10:09 AM, 11-09-05
  • Arizona's Finest,mom2bjm, 10:20 AM, 11-09-05
    • RE: Arizona's Finest,Max Headroom, 10:31 AM, 11-09-05
      • RE: Arizona's Finest,byoffer, 10:40 AM, 11-09-05
      • RE: Arizona's Finest,mom2bjm, 11:39 AM, 11-09-05
    • RE: Arizona's Finest,byoffer, 10:42 AM, 11-09-05
      • RE: Arizona's Finest,mom2bjm, 11:41 AM, 11-09-05
    • RE: Arizona's Finest,LibraRising, 08:39 PM, 11-09-05
  • You'll Miss Us When We're Gone,Seana, 10:39 AM, 11-09-05
    • RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone,bystander, 10:46 AM, 11-09-05
      • RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone,byoffer, 10:53 AM, 11-09-05
    • Arizona's finest..,mom2bjm, 11:36 AM, 11-09-05
      • RE: Arizona's finest..,byoffer, 01:12 PM, 11-09-05
      • RE: Arizona's finest..,CouchTater, 05:15 PM, 11-09-05
    • RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone,Max Headroom, 04:13 PM, 11-09-05
      • RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone,CouchTater, 05:12 PM, 11-09-05
        • RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone,Seana, 06:32 PM, 11-09-05
        • RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone,Max Headroom, 08:49 AM, 11-10-05
          • RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone,byoffer, 10:29 AM, 11-10-05
        • RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone,DonnaLynn, 11:55 AM, 11-10-05
  • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,CouchTater, 12:48 PM, 11-09-05
    • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,Seana, 12:54 PM, 11-09-05
      • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,bystander, 01:06 PM, 11-09-05
        • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,Lisa0116, 06:02 PM, 11-09-05
      • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,CouchTater, 05:27 PM, 11-09-05
    • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,Cygnus X1, 09:21 PM, 11-09-05
  • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,warp_core breach, 01:23 PM, 11-09-05
    • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,zipperhead, 01:39 PM, 11-09-05
      • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,warp_core breach, 05:06 PM, 11-09-05
        • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,CouchTater, 05:44 PM, 11-09-05
  • RE: "The Kid 2",warp_core breach, 05:19 PM, 11-09-05
  • Linzies don't like the Cleavers!,universityofkentuckyrocks, 08:17 PM, 11-09-05
    • RE: Linzies don't like the Cleavers!,Fred Weasley, 10:20 PM, 11-09-05
      • RE: Linzies don't like the Cleavers!,Cygnus X1, 02:48 AM, 11-10-05
  • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,bostonrobfan, 09:24 PM, 11-09-05
    • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,bystander, 02:01 PM, 11-10-05
  • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,warp_core breach, 11:29 AM, 11-10-05
  • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,warp_core breach, 04:31 PM, 11-10-05
    • Waaahh!!! Sooobbb!!!! ,Fred Weasley, 12:46 PM, 11-11-05
      • RE: Waaahh!!! Sooobbb!!!! ,bystander, 01:30 PM, 11-11-05
    • ^^^^Post 46 above^^^^,byoffer, 01:24 PM, 11-11-05
  • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,bystander, 11:59 AM, 11-16-05
    • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,byoffer, 12:31 PM, 11-16-05
    • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,zipperhead, 09:37 AM, 11-17-05
    • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,Cygnus X1, 11:21 AM, 11-17-05
      • RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8,bystander, 11:48 AM, 11-17-05
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by bystander on 11-09-05 at 08:53 AM
Well Meggie and I ended up Mile High in the air at the same time however we were unable to join the Club. Maybe next time. And Bransens sisters, you shouldn't worry about losing all your clothes in the non-elimination round. I would gladly share my pajama tops with any of you three!

Can you believe my mom drove the go-cart 50 laps? C'mon mom, I so wanted to do that. Of course, my family has had more than our share of racetrack-related heartaches. You probably haven't heard the sad story about my Dad. I'll tell you the sad story after the race. At least my mom let me do the Rolly Loop in the airplane. How cool was that to be the first one to finish that task! I am awesome. Did you guys also see me swim out and get our clue? That fat trashman was drowning and that old man who follows those babelicous Bransen cuties around was nearly drowning. Too bad they didn't go in the water. I'll bet they are something to see all wet. Speaking of Wet, Hey Sharon! How YOU doin?

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by byoffer on 11-09-05 at 09:13 AM
Bransen cuties ... too bad they didn't go in the water. I'll bet they are something to see all wet.

Too bad you missed us when we finished this activity....

Personally, I enjoyed doing the fighter plane challenge, where the pilot let me reach down and grab the stick with both hands to control his craft. Talk about pulling some Gs and turning his world upside down!!

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by Max Headroom on 11-09-05 at 10:31 AM
Hey, where am I in this picture??

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by byoffer on 11-09-05 at 10:51 AM
Sorry, Pops, but nobody really wants to see you in a wet t-shirt. Though it seems that every time there is any sort of physical challenge your shirt gets soaked pretty quickly. Maybe when we get back you should do a little more exercise. And not just the procreating exercise that seems to have kept you so busy in the past.

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by zipperhead on 11-09-05 at 09:48 AM
LAST EDITED ON 11-09-05 AT 09:49 AM (EST)

Speaking of Wet, Hey Sharon! How YOU doin?

Me and my unnaturally buoyant oobies are just fine. As if you didn't notice.

I hope everyone realizes that I am the only female who completed that swimming task. Then I did the airplane thing. And I was the batter in Panama. Wait a minute...my three sisters are just baggage. Who needs them?


I'm unstoppable, dammit.

"The kid"
Posted by moonbaby on 11-09-05 at 09:02 AM
Who is this kid, BTW?

It sure is nice to be included in the Family Edition of the Race so you can maybe remember me now and then, dad. *sniffle*

"RE: The kid"
Posted by bystander on 11-09-05 at 10:05 AM
How could Mr. Phil forget his own kid? After all those years of suckeling you at his man-teets? My Dad died you know. You should be lucky just to have him for a Dad, even if he doesn't know you exist.


Stop by later and I'll show you a cool trick I do with "oregano" and paper I found in Panama. Just don't tell my mom or your dad.

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by zipperhead on 11-09-05 at 10:04 AM
We're first two times in a row! We're unstoppable! I can't stop screaming!

Let me first say that I have crowned myself as Mother of All Kid Racers. Did you see me try to console those Weaver hellions? And that DJ punk turned his act right around after I lectured him in the airport. He was praising his mother after that (when he wasn't threatening to drown her, that is). Next, I suppose that I will have to impose my will on those Linz boys.

WooHoo for me! Swimming, flying an airplane, driving our team to first place. Although, I swear if Michelle mouths off to me one more time, I am throwing her out onto the highway like the Weavers did with their trash. And Chrissy - I am sooo close to knocking you unconscious for the rest of the Race.

Y'know, it's a shame that the Gaghans went before the Paolos. We could have had five (mostly) blonde teams struggling with each other at the pit stop for the next few weeks. Can anyone else imagine me, Meghan Linz, Tammy Gaghan and all three Bransen girls pushing and shoving and stretching and scratching at Phil's feet?


"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by bystander on 11-09-05 at 10:09 AM
Can anyone else imagine me, Meghan Linz, Tammy Gaghan and all three Bransen girls pushing and shoving and stretching and scratching at Phil's feet?

I can.


Hold that thought while I get the whipped cream!

"Arizona's Finest"
Posted by mom2bjm on 11-09-05 at 10:20 AM
And no, not the garbage truck driver... which by the way, Weavers, you passed right by the city dump... you should have taken a left in the appropriate place and dumped your Trash talking! You might be able to find some clothes at the dump also that would cover some skin...it's important to protect against skin cancer, you know... unfortunately nothing we can give you will protect against cancer of the mouth!

Hey Linzes... what was that you said about racing with some other cars? As long as you're doing that on the freeway, you're fine, since no one will notice - everyone drives fast on the freeway here!

Oh, and Wally - lucky for you that you were on the reservation, If I'd seen you following those 3 girls around with that wad of cash, I might have had to arrest you for pimping..

-Arizona DPS officer

Thx for the shout-out Cyg!

"RE: Arizona's Finest"
Posted by Max Headroom on 11-09-05 at 10:31 AM
Now wait a minute here, we were driving the posted speed limit and everyone had all their body parts inside the car! Don't you try to get me with an unconstitutional search...

"RE: Arizona's Finest"
Posted by byoffer on 11-09-05 at 10:40 AM
LAST EDITED ON 11-09-05 AT 10:43 AM (EST)

moved, cause otherwise it was a weird reply to dad's post!

"RE: Arizona's Finest"
Posted by mom2bjm on 11-09-05 at 11:39 AM
Wally...
it wasn't YOUR driving I have a problem with, it's the fact you were following three scantily clad young women around a dimly lit parking lot with a wad of cash in your hand.. what exactly were you up to??

-Mr Police occifer...

"RE: Arizona's Finest"
Posted by byoffer on 11-09-05 at 10:42 AM
Ooh, a man in uniform! Search me! Search me!!


Is that a gun in your pocket, or....

"RE: Arizona's Finest"
Posted by mom2bjm on 11-09-05 at 11:41 AM
Sorry girls... I'm sure Helga downtown would be happy to search you.. y'all don't smell too sweet, Did ya not take a shower today??
"RE: Arizona's Finest"
Posted by LibraRising on 11-09-05 at 08:39 PM
Hey, officer. I'll get you into heaven if you arrest all the other teams. I'm sure they've all broken some laws at some time or other, the heathens.


In Jesus' name...

"You'll Miss Us When We're Gone"
Posted by Seana on 11-09-05 at 10:39 AM
Did you see the edit we got this week? We looked awful! And they've been editting us so nice the last couple weeks.

Speaking of nice, how nice are we? We told the Bransens to go put on some clothes, otherwise they'd have gone into the non-elim without extra panties over their pants. What? These panties are clean. What?

Maybe I shouldn't have insisted that Tony do the swimming. Looks like we wore him out. Well, after he kicked butt at the banana task, I just figured he was best for this stuff.

I would also like to point out that if my family had listened to me, we would not have been driving in the wrong direction. When they listened, we won a trip and some weird motorised things.

We're going to have a nice time in Sequesterville. My boy might have threatened to kill me, but he said that he appreciated me at the end, there.

They all saw! It's on tape DJ! You love your old Ma!


Up yers, Weavers. You don't get to use your Yield on us.

"RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone"
Posted by bystander on 11-09-05 at 10:46 AM
Just another example of how prayer works miracles. Those that deserve, are still in the race. Those that bash those that deserve, are Philiminated. Just ask Kenzie!

"RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone"
Posted by byoffer on 11-09-05 at 10:53 AM
Speaking of kenzie, congrats on now going one episode in a row without something on your forehead. Maybe you could lend some of that zit-vanishing cream to your sisters....


"Arizona's finest.."
Posted by mom2bjm on 11-09-05 at 11:36 AM
Marion,

Please just be grateful that my friends, the fashion police, were not on hand at the Fort McDowell pitstop... you SOOOO woulda been fined! The girls with their hip huggers over their pants were questionable.. but the Granny Panties, they just gotta go!!

-Arizona DPS Officer

"RE: Arizona's finest.."
Posted by byoffer on 11-09-05 at 01:12 PM
The line-up to hug my hips starts right over there. And it is long. And Helga is not invited!!

"RE: Arizona's finest.."
Posted by CouchTater on 11-09-05 at 05:15 PM
Hey, wouja rather have seem my Marion in a thong?


"RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone"
Posted by Max Headroom on 11-09-05 at 04:13 PM
Marion, thanks for the good sportsmanship in reminding us to pile on the clothes. If you could just get that DJ straightened out, I'd fix him up with Lauren.

"RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone"
Posted by CouchTater on 11-09-05 at 05:12 PM
Hey Wally,

Forget DJ, did you catch my Brian giving your, whichever one she was, daughter a hug just before the 360 plane challange? Yeah, she looked like she wasn't shyin away either. They make a cute couple.

You can have Bri. He's the good looking quiet normal one. Just like your girls. Wanna come ova for lasagna after this is all ova?

Marion, she makes a mean lasagna dish.

"RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone"
Posted by Seana on 11-09-05 at 06:32 PM
Aw, Ton.

*playswat*

*blush*


You bring those girls over, Wally. They need some meat on their bones.

"RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone"
Posted by Max Headroom on 11-10-05 at 08:49 AM
Tony, thanks for the invite. Brian seems like a good kid, but he's a bit young even for Lindsay. But homemade lasagna sure sounds good to me!

"RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone"
Posted by byoffer on 11-10-05 at 10:29 AM
Dad

Remember the whole "huffing and puffing" thing?? Time to lay off the lasagna. Maybe a nice salad.

"RE: You'll Miss Us When We're Gone"
Posted by DonnaLynn on 11-10-05 at 11:55 AM
>Hey Wally,
>
>Forget DJ, did you catch my
>Brian giving your, whichever one
>she was, daughter a hug
>just before the 360 plane
>challange? Yeah, she looked like
>she wasn't shyin away either.
>They make a cute couple.
>
>
>You can have Bri. He's the
>good looking quiet normal one.
>Just like your girls. Wanna
>come ova for lasagna after
>this is all ova?
>
>Marion, she makes a mean lasagna
>dish.
>
>

You saw that? Yep! She liked me! She gave me a kiss on the cheek and I got all flustered inside and googelly... That's why I messed up on the loop the first time, I was trying to work out a problem with a "different" throttle...



"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by CouchTater on 11-09-05 at 12:48 PM
Hey everyone,

I just want to say that this has been an experience of a life time. Better than 1 million bucks. I never had so much fun wid my family and I never thought I’d see my Marion in her granny underwear on national TV. Isn’t she a hoot! Anyway, I love her, granny panties and all, and I love my boys even though DJ threatened to kill his mother in front of the whole world. Don’t mind, it’s just how we tawk to each otha. We love each otha anyways. Now shut up all of yous.

To the rest of the teams, except those trashy looking Weaver girls, Ciao bellas. It’s been fun. You go and beat those Weaver losers!

Philomina- I’m really gonna miss huggin ya. It’s been the best part of this race. Seeing your smiling face and man oobies. I’m not gay, just an I-tal-ian. We can’t help it! Now get ova hea an let me give ya one last bone crusher.

The best part of sequesterville is going to be NO WEAVERS and lots of lasagna!

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by Seana on 11-09-05 at 12:54 PM
Gimme a hug, Ton.

You worked so hard. You showed our boys what you're made of. That's the man I married.

Lemme just find the kitchen and I'll show you the love.


You scared me there, nearly drowning. You wanna leave me alone with the boys?

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by bystander on 11-09-05 at 01:06 PM
What IS he made of? He floats on water like a sack of nickels. I! on the otherhand, swam like a fish to get the clue. You, were a roll of nickels short of being clueless!


Then I guess you would have had to go out and pick up the trash!

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by Lisa0116 on 11-09-05 at 06:02 PM
>What IS he made of?
>He floats on water like
>a sack of nickels.
>I! on the otherhand, swam
>like a fish to get
>the clue. You, were
>a roll of nickels short
>of being clueless!
>
>
>Then I guess you would
>have had to go out
>and pick up the trash!
>

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. At least he isn't a tubby litterbug who tries to fit ten pounds of lard into five pound shorts. Or someone who turns on a "desperate housewife" that is only trying to comfort them.

I think that zit (the one between your eyes that was the size of Rhode Island and resembled a third eye) was the Lord's way of telling you something. By the way band-aid boy-vanity is a sin!!! Let us watch the pus running down between your eyes.

Air biscuit!!!



"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by CouchTater on 11-09-05 at 05:27 PM
Marion, when you put those granny panties on in front of the whole world, that's the woman that I married.

I wasn't gonna drown, it was all the lasagna that we ate for breakfast that was weighin me down. I'm ok now. Besides' who were we let let do this? DJ? I don't think so. I was the only choice, even though you woulda floated better than me.

Get ova hea Marion I'll give ya a hug. I love ya and you been a real good trouper. I'm proud of ya. But first I give Philomina one.

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 11-09-05 at 09:21 PM
I'm just glad you didn't try to hug me at the last Pit Stop. Your tidy whities would have split wider than the Grand Canyon.


You looked ridiculous.

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by warp_core breach on 11-09-05 at 01:23 PM
IDIOTS! COMPLETE IDIOTS! MY FAMILY ARE A BUNCHA IDIOTS!

I take one week off and now we've been philiminated?! Oh I'm pi$$ed man. I gotta get outta here for a while. I'm gonna hit somethin and that Weaver punk's face is looking good right about now!



"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by zipperhead on 11-09-05 at 01:39 PM
It's a shame you didn't have this much pizazz in your pocket when the Weavers surrounded you in the airport.

I swear, I thought they were going to try to convert you.



"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by warp_core breach on 11-09-05 at 05:06 PM
Yo! Did you see how scared I was? And I don't scare easily! I wish I coulda pushed them around the same way I push my family around! I was scared, man. Something ain't right with that family. Remember how the snapped at the bus stop? Then they surrounded me like a pack of rabid dogs... scary I tell ya. Yet they're so nice about it (*shivers*)I almost sh!t my pants, man.


"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by CouchTater on 11-09-05 at 05:44 PM
No, it was the way her eyes went red just before she said very calmly, "what are you going to do with no more yields available" or something to that effect. Now THAT was scary.

Don't worry DJ, we got crosses and garlic hanging around the house. We'll be ok.

"RE: "The Kid 2""
Posted by warp_core breach on 11-09-05 at 05:19 PM
(*mouth hanging open gawking at the scantily clad, sobbing Weaver girls*)

"Welcome to Page, Arizona (Those chicks have more rolls than a bakery!)."

- The Kid as well
Apologies to moonbaby - the original kid! This post is not intended to step on your toes! This is the bratty kid, while yours is the polite, hurt and neglected one!

"Linzies don't like the Cleavers!"
Posted by universityofkentuckyrocks on 11-09-05 at 08:17 PM
I almost ran into one of Mama Cleaver. Bwahahahahaha! , I was trying to spin you out like NASCAR. You Cleavers are nasty little Christians! You all pray way to much that why I ran into Mama Cleaver, Bwhahahahahaha!

"RE: Linzies don't like the Cleavers!"
Posted by Fred Weasley on 11-09-05 at 10:20 PM
Wahhhhh! Sniff, Sniff, snork,

You guys just outright hate us. And it is our Christian faith that you revile so much. Our daddy taught us not to be a part of the world with all you sinners. With hellfire and brimstone, your world will come crashing down on you. It is our duty to show you the error of your ways- Not touching unclean things like garbage, keeping the your body as a temple without fake oobies, and being encouraging to each other. MY brother would never call me an air biscuit.

And you guys play so unfair. That was our travel trailer that the desparate housewives won. Cheaters!! Liars!! Burn in hell. You should have gone to the bathroom too at the dam. That was the bunching point.

Only Phil understands us.

Ma, I need more kleenex, I don't want to use my sleeve any more.

We were NOT littering, just sharing our food with others; like fishes and loaves.

"RE: Linzies don't like the Cleavers!"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 11-10-05 at 02:48 AM
What sleeve?


Don't get so proud, hon. It's all in my contract.

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by bostonrobfan on 11-09-05 at 09:24 PM
It really sucks that our muscles weigh so much that it always slows our boat down. But at least we beat those Weavers. Haha! The guard totally ratted you out.

Poor little Rolly- he got to do the swimming and the plane, but not the go-kart. I wanted to toss a couple crash test dummies out on the track as obstacles, but Meggie said that would be too cruel. Biscuit is just a softie.

Gotta go. I convinced the Godlewskis and the Bransen girls to have a wet t-shirt contest. We promised to let Rolly watch if he made sure his mom and sisters stayed away.

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by bystander on 11-10-05 at 02:01 PM
I convinced the Godlewskis and the Bransen girls to have a wet t-shirt contest. We promised to let Rolly watch if he made sure his mom and sisters stayed away.

Sure I wanna watch. (heavy panting) Don't worry about my mom and sis's, they don't want anything to do with you heathens. I still have some stash left from panama if you want me to bring that along? I hear its good for glaucoma also. Isn't that what your older brother with the crazy eyes has? He might want a drag on the old fattie.


Can we get Meggie in on the contest?

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by warp_core breach on 11-10-05 at 11:29 AM
Yo! Me and my family don't deserve going to sequestaville! We was robbed I tell ya. There has to be something about threats and intimidation in the rule book. Did ya see? Did ya see how they all surrounded me? Like a packa dingos. Their eyes were rolling back in their heads, chanting and all that sh!t! Come on! The whole world saw it. It's not right, man, not right at all. Pops says we gots the garlic and crosses and all that sh!t but I don't know. Sequestaville isn't going to be quiet! I'll sue the pants off those Weavers take all their winnings before they start some cult called Weaver Ministries.

To the Linzes: Win a leg okay? (beat those Weavers!)

To the Godlewskis: Scream louder and more often - the Weavers'll think you're all a buncha HELL cats and maybe get scared and quit the race. (beat those Weavers!)

To the Bransens: You'se are all right. Wally, lay off the lasagna and you'll be fine. (beat those Weavers!)

To the Weavers: The old man may drive the garbage truck but at least he's not in it looking for his next outfit!!


"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by warp_core breach on 11-10-05 at 04:31 PM
grrrr!

Phil, you're looking rather dashing. No man obbies in sight.

grrr!

"Waaahh!!! Sooobbb!!!! "
Posted by Fred Weasley on 11-11-05 at 12:46 PM
I can't understand why we are hated ....snork...... We gave 5 bucks to the Desperate Housewives, sang during our yield .... you just don't understand us. We have had a hard life; we are half orphans-no daddy. That travel trailer was going to be my new room. AND it was stolen from me by those liars and cheats. Waaaahhh!!! hiccup hiccup!! O, Jesus, help me in these trials and tribulations, of having to deal with unclean classless people., of having to see Ma and Pa Poalo in their underwear and others who won't even accept the gift of Christian hospitality (my mom's high five) Burn them all in hell.

There now.......sniff, sniff, snork, snork...... that feels better to get off my chest.

>

"RE: Waaahh!!! Sooobbb!!!! "
Posted by bystander on 11-11-05 at 01:30 PM
Don't worry sis, They'll all get what's coming to them. Just like all those teams before them did, talkin trash about us, the Schroeders, the Blacks (eventhough they didn't know us long enough to hate us), the Rogers, the Gaghans, The Aiello's, the Paolo's. All gone and we are still here. Dad's watching out for us and guiding us to be good christians.


And can you please keep your flip-flops off my pillow. Your feet are nasty!

"^^^^Post 46 above^^^^"
Posted by byoffer on 11-11-05 at 01:24 PM
That darn invisible ink again! Post 46 above was signed,

Yo mamma! (not mine!)

DJ Paolo

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by bystander on 11-16-05 at 11:59 AM
Oobies!


OK, I really got nuthin new! Just trying to liven this place up before I go out stalking other RTVW message boards.

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by byoffer on 11-16-05 at 12:31 PM
That's prolly the lamest post I have read today. At least say something more relative, like:

Jennifer Aniston's Man of the Year oobies!


Things are so quiet on the boards that I have drifted into the OT Sports forum and started debating Bob Irsay vs. Harold Ballard.

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by zipperhead on 11-17-05 at 09:37 AM
Were you talkin' to me?


"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 11-17-05 at 11:21 AM
Somebody call?

"RE: Be The Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Eps. 7-8"
Posted by bystander on 11-17-05 at 11:48 AM
OK, That! made me laugh out loud!