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Original Message
"Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"

Posted by snowflake2 on 02-25-06 at 02:52 PM
On the past few shows, Jill has said/done some things that make me wonder if she is trying to incorporate bits of Iyanla's personality into her own.

When making her vision board, she chose to use the word "DELICIOUS" when describing her vision for her life. This is a word that Iyanla has used repeatedly for 2 seasons, now Jill has picked it up?

Also, in confessional, when describing the tension between Kelly and Jodi, Jill did that deep sniffing thing, and said something like "You can just SMELL it in the air". The sniffing/smelling thing is another quirk of Iyanla's, like when she is deep sniffs and says "I smell a rat" or when she sniffed up & down close to Jill's body and said "I smell resistance!". To me, this is one of the more unattractive things Iyanla does, and I wonder why Jill would choose to copy it?

Is she taking Iyanla as too much of a role model, or is she making fun of IV when she does these things?


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Messages in this discussion
"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by JustBNMe on 02-25-06 at 03:04 PM
I thing Jill is trying to be like IV in the hopes that she'll graduate soon. She is wearing her hair like IV does sometimes, talking like she does and trying to be a coach like IV. I am so ready for Jill to get out of the house already. She's been there forever it seems. I don't think she is making fun of IV at all.

"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by VelvetElegance on 02-25-06 at 11:40 PM
I think you are both right but what's probably more likely is that the SO women are highly suceptible to suggestion. If you notice, all those women use the same language. At some point they have all said "my words betray me". It's almost like a brainwashing process. I remember Kim said it when she couldn't have been in the house more than two or three days and there she was parroting Iyanla's famous phrase. I challenge any of you to point out a woman who hasn't at one point spouted that phrase. Of course there are others like "process" and my personal fav, "trigger". Seems like everytime you look up someone is pontificating over their "healing process" while discussing their "stuff" and what might better "support" them during this time of "awakening" UGH *GAG ME*

"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by JessicaRN on 02-26-06 at 01:16 AM
And don't forget the fact that they are all accumulating "tools." Remember last year when every other show someone was having a fierce conversation. I think that Jill sees herself as a "mini Iyanla" now that she has gained all of the wisdom from being there for so long. It brings back memories of Allison. She too tried to mimic Iyanla, but she really couldn't carry it off.

"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by julli96 on 02-26-06 at 03:22 AM
I believe Jill thinks she has become IV's understudy. IV is one powerful woman, no doubt about it! I think Jill believes she has acquired the skills to take over the roll as, in-house den mother/ life coach. Jill needs to take a look in the mirror, get comfortable with the fact that she's running a close second to Allison in the, "Marathon Guest Award".



"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by SeasonedRefinement on 02-26-06 at 07:13 AM
IMHO, the answer is a resounding YES!

I think Jill has willingly placed herself under Iyanla's spell, so to speak. Iyanla is a magnetic, charismatic woman. Whether she is speaking her brand of the truth or sharing her recipe for potato salad, I have a feeling that most (not all, but most) people would stop what they were doing to look at her. It is probably a combination of natural skill and practiced technique. The Yoruban name, "Iyanla" (a "mother" title), was not given to her because it sounded impressive - it is supposed to reflect her nature or spirit.

Now consider someone like Jill. She's been hitting dead ends for years - she's unemployed, unhealthy, and unattached. She has undoubtedly seen the parallels between her life and Iyanla's earlier life (pre law degree). Jill probably feels that Iyanla has overcome some of the same hurdles that Jill is now facing. She likes what she sees in Iyanla's life - the celebrity status, the money, the influence...and I think she wants that for herself. By her own admission, Jill wants to be a star (whatever that means...). Iyanla uses a certain language and that's the language Jill is going to learn and use.

I don't know if anyone else noticed it, but I think Jill's mother was completely taken with Iyanla as well.


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"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by SOfan0221 on 02-26-06 at 08:59 AM
My impression is not so much that she is trying to be another Iyanla as much as when you are around someone for a length of time you pick up on their mannerisms and you use the ones you like, admire, or fit the scenario.

As an example, I have heard Jill say so many times 'for the love of Christmas' when she is starting to get exasperated or wants to make a point. I like that phrase and have started to use it myself.

I know her time in the house is short and she needs to move on with her life but with Jill as opposed to Allison I really hate to see her go. I would have liked her to stay until she got her medical problems resolved.


"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by OklaBlue on 02-26-06 at 10:46 AM
LAST EDITED ON 02-26-06 AT 10:48 AM (EST)

I agree with you SOfan.. about familiarity and admiration. Jill doesn't need to copy IV, she's a strong enough personality, and at 41, very much formed. There's a big long thread on here of "favorite Jill-isms", things which are hers alone.

Despite her longevity on the program, we really haven't seen that much of Jill and her personality. And with family member Dad coming into the picture, you know she will graduate lickety split and be gone.

From her current work and writings, she's happy where she's at, and on her way. The medical problem could be a long term thing, and I would not wish her more time in the house than necessary. It's far better to be on your own two feet.

Once people get away from a personality like IV (or brainwashing experience), things they pick up drop away. Distance and time can do wonders. To every thing there is a season. This season is about over. We just have to have Lisa 1 return to graduate. April-May ratings sweeps.


"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by snowflake2 on 02-26-06 at 04:38 PM
LAST EDITED ON 02-26-06 AT 04:43 PM (EST)

OklaBlue wrote: <<There's a big long thread on here of "favorite Jill-isms", things which are hers alone.>>
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OklaBlue, unfortunately, many of Jill's "isms" aren't original. I recall that you posted a link which explained the origin of "conflama", a term that was around long before Jill chose to adopt it as a "Jill-ism".

Similarly, another one of Jill's favorite sayings, "Love ya, mean it" is hardly original. I'm uncertain about whether I can post the link in this thread, but if you go to urbandictionary.com, you will see these entries, as well as more, for "love ya, mean it":
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1. love ya mean it

Heard often on the Bob and Tom syndicated radio broadcast. Callers will say it as a funny way to sound that they are earnest. Another similar saying is "Love ya, love your show" "Well, I've got to go now. Love ya -mean it!"

2. love ya mean it

within certain circles of middle school girls and older homosexual males, this is the throw-off, insincere closing to a superficial conversation. anyone with an ounce of sense realizes that it means nothing, as anyone who says "love ya" and means it - only "love YOU" means anything.Caitlyn: Thanks so much for buying me this Prada purse! It goes great with my Fendi glasses.
Bridgette: Oh, you're totally welcome. Talk to you later! Love ya, mean it!
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BTW, Bob & Tom have been described as: "Indianapolis based comedy duo and one of America's most popular morning shows." They were 2005 nominees for induction into the National Radio Hall of Fame. In other words, vastly more successful in radio than Jill.

I have a sneaking suspicion that most of Jill's "isms" might rightly be called "copy-isms".

Edited to add: Jill proclaiming someone a "LIAR!" is another thing that she merely copied from Iyanla...it's what IV said to her when Jill told "her story".



"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by VelvetElegance on 02-26-06 at 08:56 PM
I'm with you on the whole "love ya, mean it" deal but I gotta say that I think we would be remiss to underestimate the power Miss Iyanla has to impart her vocabulary on the women. To be sure, Miss Iyanla, in my book at least, has been relagated almost to characature status. I mean, when a new house guess arrives, you know it's gonna pretty much go down like this:

1. My name is Iyanla and I am going to be your primary life coach
2. ...And what about Daddy? What's that relationship about?
3. I know the truth about you
4. I smell a LIE!!

The last and most predictable step is for Iyanla to envelop the new guest into her mighty bossom! Don't be surprised if there are a lot of "oohs" and "ahhs" and "yea yea yeas" thrown in to for good measure.

Bottom Line: Love her or hate her, she is certainly more compelling to watch than Rhonda with her ridiculous exercises, altho I almost lost my lunch when Iyanla broke out the puppets for Jill back in the day. I remember when Lisa1 was always walking around the house talking about "tools" this and "tools" that and it was hard to watch. But no one is imulated more than Iyanla in my never to be humble opinon!


"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by Kattrikk on 02-27-06 at 01:20 AM
So Jill is now using the word "delicious" and sniffing? I guess taking a two week break from the show doesn't come without advantages. I haven't even watched lately and I am already dreading anymore episodes with her in them. Enough is enough. It's just time now.

What is the record for a single stay in the SO house, anyway? I feel like Jill has got to be right up there with the classic welcome wearer outers.



"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by SOfan0221 on 02-27-06 at 08:03 AM
LAST EDITED ON 02-27-06 AT 08:08 AM (EST)

I think Jill could do a lot worse than mimic Iyanla. At least with Iyanla she would be honest and not be a shop lifter, liar, or loose woman.

I also find it interesting that Iyanla always goes to the daughter/father relationship with the women. I know Iyanla was raised by her grandmother and her father lived there also (it was his mother) so she had her father around but not her mother as I understand from her book.

While Rhonda lost both her parents in a homocide/suicide when she was 11 or 12 and it happened right in front of her.

So both seem to focus on the daughter/father relationshsips. Interesting.

As for record stay has got to be Allison, number 1 hanger oner
I think number 2 would be Josie
and number 3 might be harder to pinpoint but my vote goes to Cassie from season 2, it seemed like she was there for years.


"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by SeasonedRefinement on 02-27-06 at 10:11 AM
Kattrik - Ohhh...love the new sig. You have the cutest feline tags!

Ok, I'm glad you guys mentioned one particular behavior that really icks me out. What is with all the sniffing of people? "I smell this", "I smell that". They remind me of cats and dogs, and I hate it when the animals do it too (even MY beautiful cats)! Iyanla better be careful walking around sniffing people - she may get catch an aroma she was expecting, LOL!

I think Jill has picked up Iyanla's language, look, and mannerisms. But then you have to wonder, who was responsible for influencing Iyanla's language, and who influenced that person, and so on and so on. I guess that's how these phrases eventually find themselves in the Urban Dictionary. Gotta check that out - it sounds interesting!

One phrase I really wish they'd drop: "Love ya, mean it". It just...tries TOO hard.

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"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by Sahara on 02-27-06 at 10:18 AM
I find it interesting that Iyanla's ladies are the ones who decide they, too, should be a life coach. Kim Bookout (Lord help us), Allison, now Jill...

Iyanla has a huge influence on these women. I don't think that on tv we can grasp the effect she has. I definitely see hero worship from many of the women. Most of them have not had people they could rely on before, so I am sure they are thrilled for Iyanla to take them under her wing.


AF 2006


"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by SeasonedRefinement on 02-27-06 at 10:49 AM
Yes, Sahara - I agree with you completely.

I don't put much stock in Iyanla's philosophies or theatrics, but I can't deny that she does possess a magnetic quality that Rhonda does not have. Iyanla reminds me of a psychologist (I know she isn't) who has embraced some unorthodox methods of therapy, but somehow, she makes them look ALMOST mainstream. Rhonda, on the other hand, strikes me as a cold businesswoman who has an agenda to get through.

Sahara, good point about Iyanla's proteges. She's raising up the next generation of life coaches! I don't think there is much danger of Jill following in that path - it's obviously NOT her calling.


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"RE: Is Jill trying to copy Iyanla?"
Posted by lovemydogdude on 02-27-06 at 04:25 PM
Yes I think Jill's copying Iyanla. Even in my own group of friends I see phrases and expressions that are seemingly passed along/inherited. The original personality behind the phrase is never truly lost within the group but instead it somehow becomes a compliment of sorts when others share that piece of us. I can see how this could easily happen in the SOH.