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Original Message
"Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-19-05 at 08:56 AM
LAST EDITED ON 10-21-05 AT 11:40 PM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 10-20-05 AT 11:10 PM (EST)

It? Must really suck to be you, Schroeders.

Not only do you arrive last.

Behind “Team Florida” and “The Rugrats.”

In your hometown.

After you, Mark, couldn’t find the park that you worked at once before.

After Stassi all but had a nervous breakdown.

And after saying the Weavers would be “pissed” about the Talledega task.

But guess what.

This is NOT a non-elim leg.

Now, here to Philiminate you formally is my good friend, MRC Gene Wilder:

“You get NOTHING! You LOSE!”

And then in the final insult, your house gets wiped out by Katrina. Fortunately, the other half of the LA contingent, the Rogerses, is helping you out.

Now for everyone else:

Bransens, two in a row is pretty impressive! That’s Colin/Christie and Kris/Jon territory, there. Sorry, girls, you don’t get extra points for mooning the Linzes, although you should for having the guts to do so in front of Wally. Wally, you should get bonus points for NOT joining in!

Easy on those hugs, Tony! Do you realize how much you Paolos ruined the online games this week? Worst to almost first is gettin’ ‘er done! And nice drama, finishing the bike around Talledega with that nasty storm arriving.

Linzes, your usual good effort. Glad you took the mooning in stride (at least you guys; Megan, do you plan to retaliate?).

Godlewskis, you were a little bit frayed there. And BTW, it’s not HAITIs-burg, but HATTIS-burg.

Weavers, way to exorcise the ghosts a bit at Talladega! But you still need a few geography lessons as far as Lake Ponchartrain. Your teachers will be Brian and Greg, who are busy vacationing in San Diego, Chile.

Gaghans, a good effort under duress with cutting the logs. And thanks for not having us dwell on underage kids gambling on a riverboat. But if you have a task the kids can't do later on, you could be in trouble.

Now we’re heading overseas, away from all this about-to-be devastation. Who will get non-eliminated (did I say that?) next?

There's still time to play. Just sign up in the signup thread, in which you'll find the rules. Glad to have so many new posters take part, so don’t be bashful!

So far, the following Racers remain available (that’s a change from prior weeks):

WEAVER: Rebecca
PAOLO: None
LINZ: Alex, Nick
GAGHAN: Tammy
BRANSEN: Elizabeth, Lauren, Lindsay
GODLEWSKI: Michelle, Christine
SCHROEDER: Stassi, Hunter (Philiminated)

ALSO PHILIMINATED: Rogers, Black, Aiello (Tony may post from Sequesterville)

ALSO AVAILABLE, if anyone is so interested: Executive Producers Bruck (Jerry Bruckheimer) and Bertram Van Munster. I’ve been posting as them, but I’ll happily let someone else take their personae.

You may also participate without signing up by posting as a non-Racer, e.g. a Talledega worker, a riverboat card dealer, a musician, a gas station employee or customer, a cameraperson or sound tech, or others. Be creative!

Have fun!


(OOC) I'd have had this thresd up sooner, but I was having DSL issues.

Table of contents
  • Let's hear it for the Bransens!,byoffer, 09:37 AM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,Seana, 10:07 AM, 10-19-05
      • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,Cygnus X1, 11:07 AM, 10-19-05
        • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,Max Headroom, 02:01 PM, 10-19-05
      • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,byoffer, 11:10 AM, 10-19-05
        • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,Cygnus X1, 11:12 AM, 10-19-05
        • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,beau_30, 11:47 AM, 10-19-05
          • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,dragonflies, 12:12 PM, 10-19-05
          • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,cahaya, 11:36 AM, 10-21-05
            • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,beau_30, 03:03 PM, 10-22-05
        • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,Lisa0116, 03:33 PM, 10-19-05
          • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,byoffer, 10:08 PM, 10-19-05
            • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,Lisa0116, 11:33 AM, 10-20-05
              • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,bystander, 01:38 PM, 10-21-05
                • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,Lisa0116, 03:38 PM, 10-21-05
                  • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,bystander, 08:08 PM, 10-21-05
        • RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!,Cygnus X1, 09:56 AM, 10-21-05
  • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,zipperhead, 10:29 AM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,CouchTater, 01:23 PM, 10-19-05
      • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,zipperhead, 02:03 PM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,HistoryDetective, 01:49 PM, 10-19-05
      • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,zipperhead, 02:04 PM, 10-19-05
      • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Seana, 09:22 PM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,buckeyegirl, 01:30 PM, 10-25-05
  • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,dragonflies, 12:10 PM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,cahaya, 11:44 AM, 10-21-05
  • Second Place!,Seana, 12:34 PM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Second Place!,CouchTater, 01:14 PM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Second Place!,Max Headroom, 02:08 PM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Second Place!,Cygnus X1, 04:25 PM, 10-19-05
      • RE: Second Place!,warp_core breach, 05:00 PM, 10-19-05
        • RE: Second Place!,Seana, 05:12 PM, 10-19-05
  • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,CattyChat, 12:39 PM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Cygnus X1, 02:34 PM, 10-19-05
      • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,CattyChat, 03:04 PM, 10-19-05
        • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Cygnus X1, 08:48 PM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,warp_core breach, 05:14 PM, 10-19-05
  • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,LibraRising, 03:15 PM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,DonnaLynn, 04:57 PM, 10-19-05
      • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Seana, 05:10 PM, 10-19-05
        • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Cygnus X1, 05:50 PM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Estee, 02:56 PM, 10-21-05
  • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,CattyChat, 08:12 AM, 10-20-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,byoffer, 08:58 AM, 10-20-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,zipperhead, 01:55 PM, 10-20-05
      • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,byoffer, 02:04 PM, 10-20-05
        • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Lisa0116, 03:18 PM, 10-20-05
          • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,byoffer, 03:55 PM, 10-20-05
            • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Lisa0116, 05:02 PM, 10-20-05
      • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,CattyChat, 04:21 PM, 10-20-05
        • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,zipperhead, 09:18 AM, 10-21-05
          • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,dragonflies, 09:37 AM, 10-21-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,CouchTater, 04:54 PM, 10-20-05
      • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,CattyChat, 05:06 PM, 10-20-05
        • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,indy42, 07:52 PM, 10-20-05
          • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Cygnus X1, 11:08 PM, 10-20-05
        • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,CouchTater, 10:05 AM, 10-21-05
        • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Seana, 11:39 AM, 10-21-05
      • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,zipperhead, 09:21 AM, 10-21-05
        • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,CouchTater, 09:50 AM, 10-21-05
          • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Cygnus X1, 10:01 AM, 10-21-05
            • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,CouchTater, 10:10 AM, 10-21-05
              • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Cygnus X1, 10:33 AM, 10-21-05
          • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Seana, 11:33 AM, 10-21-05
          • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,zipperhead, 03:18 PM, 10-21-05
            • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,CouchTater, 11:09 AM, 10-22-05
        • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,warp_core breach, 02:28 PM, 10-21-05
          • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,CouchTater, 11:11 AM, 10-22-05
        • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,warp_core breach, 02:37 PM, 10-21-05
          • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,zipperhead, 03:13 PM, 10-21-05
            • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,bystander, 09:05 PM, 10-22-05
            • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,warp_core breach, 10:51 AM, 10-24-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,cahaya, 11:58 AM, 10-21-05
  • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,universityofkentuckyrocks, 12:47 PM, 10-22-05
    • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,mjames1229, 09:14 PM, 10-22-05
      • RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4,Cygnus X1, 07:42 AM, 10-23-05
  • Sequesterville,mjames1229, 12:39 PM, 10-23-05
    • RE: Sequesterville,TivoTivoTivo, 09:27 PM, 10-23-05
      • RE: Sequesterville,warp_core breach, 10:46 AM, 10-24-05
    • RE: Sequesterville,Cygnus X1, 06:16 AM, 10-24-05
Messages in this discussion
"Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by byoffer on 10-19-05 at 09:37 AM
I so wish this would work as a siggie.....

Then I know which non-racer be-the-survivor part I would be!! But alas, the moon is too big for a siggie

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by Seana on 10-19-05 at 10:07 AM

I can't remember which Bransen girl it was and I'm not looking at my tape again just now. Here is your image, resized and with some extra space for you to add a name or whatever.

Oh, and *snort*

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-19-05 at 11:07 AM
Here we go, in a tag-team effort! Good work, all!

According to the SeeBeeSss site, it was Lauren.

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by Max Headroom on 10-19-05 at 02:01 PM
Just be thankful it wasn't me doing the mooning.


Doesn't everyone have a widescreen TV?

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by byoffer on 10-19-05 at 11:10 AM
Hi, it's me, Lauren Bransen.

Wow can you believe how well our team is doing? As long as we stay in the lead, the other teams will be seeing a lot more of our backsides. And if they try to pass us, well, they will also see our backsides.

I was wondering if you guys thought they captured my good side or not?

Mooning was one thing. We will have to see how stiff the competition is over the next few legs of the race. Maybe I will have to pull out the "big guns".

XOXO to those dirty Linz boys.


Thanks Seana, I needed another siggie!

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-19-05 at 11:12 AM
That's good too!
"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by beau_30 on 10-19-05 at 11:47 AM
Why couldn't we be in that car to get mooned? I would love to have seen that. Man that was hot. Dad don't tell mom this. Oh yeah by the way Carissa that lucky pen song of yours was annoying.

"Its the most daring competition every attempted."

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by dragonflies on 10-19-05 at 12:12 PM
You are such a dork. It was your fault we couldn't saw the wood. You were pushing too hard.


{singing}where is my lucky pen? where is my lucky pen?

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by cahaya on 10-21-05 at 11:36 AM
Dad don't tell mom this.

Son, as long as you don't tell Carissa either!

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by beau_30 on 10-22-05 at 03:03 PM
Well I think she already found out, Didnt you see her calling me a dork.

"Its the most daring competition every attempted."

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by Lisa0116 on 10-19-05 at 03:33 PM
I can't believe you would pull your pants down in front of your Dad-Eeewwww!!!

Do you bump uglies with him, too?? How gross!!!

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by byoffer on 10-19-05 at 10:08 PM
Hello?? Is anyone talking?? I thought I heard a sound, but can't tell. I guess all that hanging out with the Linz boys and now I can't hear Megan either.


"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by Lisa0116 on 10-20-05 at 11:33 AM
>Hello?? Is anyone talking??
>I thought I heard a
>sound, but can't tell.
>I guess all that hanging
>out with the Linz boys
>and now I can't hear
>Megan either.
>


Obviously you are focussed on the sounds from the rear. Bet you heard my brothers when they farted. I know you want them or you wouldn't be showing them your butt. By the way I have two words for you-Brazilian Wax!!! Eeewww-hairy moon!!

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by bystander on 10-21-05 at 01:38 PM
I'd love to see your moon Meggie.

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by Lisa0116 on 10-21-05 at 03:38 PM
>I'd love to see your moon
>Meggie.

What a perv!!


"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by bystander on 10-21-05 at 08:08 PM
At least I don't suck the heads off shrimp like your brother!


Now, you mentioned something about a chrome bumper?

"RE: Let's hear it for the Bransens!"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-21-05 at 09:56 AM
Say, Lauren . . .

Could you recreate that scene for me? I need it as the setup for a future episode of CSI: Bloomington.


You sure your dad's not Henry Blake in disguise?

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by zipperhead on 10-19-05 at 10:29 AM
I hope you all realize that we only brought Chrissy the sissy along because we needed four people. If she breaks down one more time, I swear to God I am dragging her out of the car and b!tch-slapping her until my arm falls off. Then I'm going to go after the Paolo family - every single one of those whiners need to be taught a good lesson and I'm just the man woman to do it.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by CouchTater on 10-19-05 at 01:23 PM
Hey from where I sit, you and your sistas ain't any more funtional than us or anyone else.

What's your beef wit us anyway? We might fight wit each otha, but we haven't been bad mouthing anyone else, like some of the other teams, that I won't mention,(Schroeders).

Oh and once again, only we Paolos get to yell at each other. You stay outta this, or I'm sicking the misses and the boys after you.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by zipperhead on 10-19-05 at 02:03 PM
Hey, you should be thankful that I am willing to put you out of your misery. Besides, your boys whine almost as much as Chrissy does and that just annoys the hell out of me.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by HistoryDetective on 10-19-05 at 01:49 PM
LAST EDITED ON 10-25-05 AT 04:01 PM (EST)

I hope you all realize that we only brought Chrissy the sissy along because we needed four people. If she breaks down one more time, I swear to God I am dragging her out of the car and b!tch-slapping her until my arm falls off.

Cluck, cluck, cluck. Bawk, bawk, bawk, gabble, gabble, bawk. BAWK!!! BACKPACK!!! BAWK, BAWK, BAWK!!! Bawk, bawk, bawk! Gabble, gabble. Cluck. BACKPACK!!! CLUCK THE BACKPACK! Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk. BAWK! Sob! Bawl! Weep, weep, weep. Sniffle, sniffle. Cluck, cluck, cluck.


edited to add sig pic

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by zipperhead on 10-19-05 at 02:04 PM
I'm sorry to tell you at a time like this, but - you're adopted.



"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Seana on 10-19-05 at 09:22 PM
Every time I read this, I ell my A off.
"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by buckeyegirl on 10-25-05 at 01:30 PM
I was in the back seat. How was I supposed to know that was the stupid BP we were looking for? It just seemed way too obvious....



"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by dragonflies on 10-19-05 at 12:10 PM
Thanks Mr. Phil. I tried, I really did, but I wish my legs were longer. Did you see how fast I ran after that bike task?

And Billy and I tried to cut that wood too. But Mommy & Daddy were worried we might cut our fingers off, so they stopped us. Didn't my Mommy rock!

And aren't I soooooo cute? People underestimate us, just cause our team has kids.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by cahaya on 10-21-05 at 11:44 AM
Yup, sweetie, you're cute. But don't grow up to be like those moonin' Branson girls!

Yup, mommy rocks in more ways than one, hon'.

"Second Place!"
Posted by Seana on 10-19-05 at 12:34 PM
Let's hear it for our team! I love you boys so much. Tony, come here and give me a big kiss.

Next week...first place! Slow and steady.


But no prize, you just watch.

"RE: Second Place!"
Posted by CouchTater on 10-19-05 at 01:14 PM
I'd rather hug Phil.

I still luv ya though Marion. Just not on national TV.

Phil, get ova hea. I gotta hug you again.

Yo Phil, what's up with dem kiddy bikes? Didn't you see me salavating when I though we were gonna get to race a real car?

Ya gotta give me something hea. I need some comic relief.


"RE: Second Place!"
Posted by Max Headroom on 10-19-05 at 02:08 PM
Now hold on a minute, we've got a lock on first-place finishes. Don't get too close to us, or I'll moon your entire family.

"RE: Second Place!"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-19-05 at 04:25 PM
Next week...first place! Slow and steady.

Is that code for something?
Or did you just call yourself fat?

"RE: Second Place!"
Posted by warp_core breach on 10-19-05 at 05:00 PM
>Is that code for something?
>Or did you just call yourself
>fat?

Now you've officially incurred the wrath of me and and the old lady. You're sooo cruisin' for a bruisin, man.

Yo, Ma! You with me?



"RE: Second Place!"
Posted by Seana on 10-19-05 at 05:12 PM
You tell 'im DJ.


That's my boy.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by CattyChat on 10-19-05 at 12:39 PM
Ah, this season blew anyway & I kept forgetting that in order to succeed at TAR-Family Edition they keys are NOT to think; NOT to know where you're going; NOT to work well as a team & to be blubbering morons.

Anyway, I had more fun after the Philimination, when I took my new pal Phil out for a night of debauchery in the French Quarter. How's the head this morning Phil? Man, I can't believe that you won the wet T-shirt contest. I really thought I had a better man-rack than you do. Congratulations, in any event.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-19-05 at 02:34 PM
Hey. When you've got it, flaunt it.


Pssst. He's even more obnoxious when lit.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by CattyChat on 10-19-05 at 03:04 PM
Can you give me the name of your plastic surgeon, so I can fix my saggies? I have manoobie envy.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-19-05 at 08:48 PM
What, Char's plastic surgeon won't take spouses?


You'll have to catch me first!

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by warp_core breach on 10-19-05 at 05:14 PM
Dumb A$$es!

Dontcha know that there's just some families you don't wanna mess with (wink wink).

Now don't get me wrong, the Weavers are crazy, just crazy. I mean one of the chicks last week just snapped, she just snapped. But I know enough not to mess with those kind of people. Think about it, man, last week those Aiellos had something to say about those crazies and then they're gone. Now you and your stupid big mouth family start shooting your mouths off about the crazies and now you're gone - serves ya right.

Now I'm not into God and Jesus and all that, but...


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by LibraRising on 10-19-05 at 03:15 PM
I just wanted to say thanks to the Schroeder girl and that one unhinged Godlewski for proving that my children are not the most emotionally disturbed ones here!

But my faith is shaken. I prayed for help in the blackjack challenge, and we won really fast. Then I remembered: Games of chance are forbidden by Deuteronomy 7. So did God let us do well in something he forbid us to do? Is Satan intervening to help us win this race? Did this action of ours cause Hurricane Wilma? So confused! Help me, Paul and Jan Crouch! Show us that love gift we sent you meant something.

At any rate, I'm so excited to see one of the Great Lakes. Now all I need to do is see Lake Winnipeg, Lake Victoria, Lake Wobegon and the L.A. Lakers, and we'll have seen them all!


Here's a hint, kids. The names of the Great Lakes spells out PWVWL.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by DonnaLynn on 10-19-05 at 04:57 PM
LAST EDITED ON 10-19-05 AT 04:58 PM (EST)

Hey! We didn't ruin any on line games! Everyone knows we are the team to beat and should be betting on us to win!!!

I really wish Ma would shut up already! I wish we'd come across a roadblock where you have to be SILENT! I'm just glad I can boss my dad around. He's such a milktoast.

(edited to take out the wrong siggie) I'll use the right one next time... What do you expect? I'm a Paolo!!!!!

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Seana on 10-19-05 at 05:10 PM
Shut up.

*smack*


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-19-05 at 05:50 PM
THERE'S the Marion we know and lvoe!


Thought you changed into a Pod Person above for a minute.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Estee on 10-21-05 at 02:56 PM
Now all I need to do is see Lake Winnipeg, Lake Victoria, Lake Wobegon and the L.A. Lakers, and we'll have seen them all!

Can't -- breathe...

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by CattyChat on 10-20-05 at 08:12 AM
I'm so proud of you both, my darling little angels. I don't understand what is wrong with these other families and I hope none of the bad behavior rubs off on my little darlings.

Honey, here are your slippers, robe and pipe.

I am just so happy, life is grand, I am so very blessed.

My dear, dear Marion, I could teach you some things on how to get those two boys of yours to show respect and act more like my angels. The family unit is a very sacred thing & as a wife & mother our job is the most important in shaping our family. All that anger you have, you need to squeeze down into an itty bitty box, tie it with a bow & hide it deep, deep inside. You will feel so much better with a smile on your face. I also have some pretty pills for you and your boys that should help with your transition. We really should talk, dear Marion. Your poor husband needs to be treated with the utmost respect, attention and pampering. You will all be so happy.

I also can help you, Mrs. Weaver. As a matter of fact, Marion, Linda & all of you Godlewski women are invited for a very special tea in my room and I will show you this wonderful book and video of a very smart man who turned my life around. He gives wonderful seminars and even one-on-one counseling. Your husbands and children will be much happier after you are on the program. Sorry, Mrs. Weaver, didn't mean to be insensitive.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by byoffer on 10-20-05 at 08:58 AM
Ladies

If RunnerMom's teachings don't work, give me a call and I will teach you how to moon the world and make your worries go away!! After all, what is a moon but a verticle smile!


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by zipperhead on 10-20-05 at 01:55 PM
As a matter of fact, Marion, Linda & all of you Godlewski women are invited for a very special tea in my room and I will show you this wonderful book and video of a very smart man who turned my life around.

Oh, I'll come to your little party alright. Just so I can knock some sense into your brainwashed little head. My husband knows who's boss in our house and it sure as hell ain't him. He has to ask me if he can pee.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by byoffer on 10-20-05 at 02:04 PM
>My husband knows who's boss in our house and it sure as hell ain't him. He has to ask me if he can pee.

And then I will bet you make him cry too.

Loosen up!! Here is a little moon for you:

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Lisa0116 on 10-20-05 at 03:18 PM
You need a shave....Eeewwww.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by byoffer on 10-20-05 at 03:55 PM
Be nice, Megan, or I will tell all these peeps how your brothers have been "claiming" the farts to protect their sister's image.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Lisa0116 on 10-20-05 at 05:02 PM
WHAT-EVERRRRR!! Like anyone would believe a hairy butt like you that whips it out in front of her DAD!!! Is your family tree just a trunk???? Do you call him uncle dad???


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by CattyChat on 10-20-05 at 04:21 PM
Oh, I'll come to your little party alright. Just so I can knock some sense into your brainwashed little head. My husband knows who's boss in our house and it sure as hell ain't him.

Oh, my poor dear, no wonder you receive so much animosity from your sisters & I can only imagine how your poor husband feels. My guess is, he is finding his happiness in someone else's arms while you are away. I really can help you turn that frown upside down.

It's sunshine and happiness in my family. Maybe you should take a lesson from my dear little Carissa and instead of saying things, sing it, it sure makes a happy and productive environment.


**Singing**I am a super mom and super wife, with the greatest family in the world. La, la la.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by zipperhead on 10-21-05 at 09:18 AM
Your kid is nuts.



And your singing sucks

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by dragonflies on 10-21-05 at 09:37 AM
Wanna race?


stomps on her foot before taking off and singing "I run Marathons, and I'm cute, and I can climb ladders, even though my legs are short..."

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by CouchTater on 10-20-05 at 04:54 PM
Hey don't you dare go near my Marion! I don't want no June Cleaver Stepford wife Zombie.

I love'em feisty and juicy like that the wife in "War of the Roses"

An my Lord of the Flies boys are way more well ajusted than your
two little "yes Master" Igors.

You stay away from us!


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by CattyChat on 10-20-05 at 05:06 PM
Your poor, beaten down man. You just don't realize what you're missing. Tsk, tsk tsk.

By the way, who says I'm not feisty? I just know when it is appropriate to be so & that is in the bedroom to keep my wonderful husband happy & satisfied. I have a feeling you're not satisfied . . .


Marathon Runners Do It Better!

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by indy42 on 10-20-05 at 07:52 PM
What possessed the bransen girl to do that on national television?

I mus admit, though, it has been one of the few amusing highlights this season.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-20-05 at 11:08 PM
LAST EDITED ON 10-20-05 AT 11:16 PM (EST)

Hi, Indy, and welcome to the boards.

This is a role-playing thread, not a discussion thread.

If you want to become one of the unclaimed Racers (eta: or a non-Racer) and play along, let me know. Read the red ink in the first post of this thread for more info, including the link to the game rules.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by CouchTater on 10-21-05 at 10:05 AM
Not satisfied? Why do you think I’m so quiet? Huh? Do you ever see a scowl on my face? Do I ever look angry? Do you ever hear me raise my voice? I’m so satisfied, I don’t hafta say nothin. It’s like I’m smokin the after ciggy on a regular basis.

Oh and by the way, Marion and I make love the Italian way; with olive oil. While I suspect that you make love with old stinky body sweat, hafen to run 20k before hand just to even get excited and all.



Italians do it better!

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Seana on 10-21-05 at 11:39 AM
Don't you know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach? Put all your love for your family into your cooking and then you're free to slap them around.

*gives Brian a paper cut*


I bet your poor family eats a lot of soy.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by zipperhead on 10-21-05 at 09:21 AM
Lord of the Flies? Your boys are more like Lord of the Cries. Ooooh watch out! Paper cut coming!!!

Your sons are more feminine than me.


Well, except for my oobies. I have great oobies.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by CouchTater on 10-21-05 at 09:50 AM
Hey Marion, DJ, you gonna take crap like that from that puke pink wearin bee-atch?. Sic!

For one, my boys don’t cry; they YELL. And second: everybody’s more feminine dan you. In fact we’ve all been suspecting that you’re really a DUDE with huge man boobies. And I wouldn’t talk, what about your whinny cry baby sista who can’t even go anywhere widout her backpacky.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-21-05 at 10:01 AM
In fact we’ve all been suspecting that you’re really a DUDE with huge man boobies.

*sits back and whistles pointlessly*

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by CouchTater on 10-21-05 at 10:10 AM
Philomina,

I luv ya. I'm gonna give you a hug. You could make me turn, really. Your man boobies are softer than Marions.



"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-21-05 at 10:33 AM
That? Is not saying much.


And you'll be getting a bill from my chiropractor.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Seana on 10-21-05 at 11:33 AM
You tell 'im, Tony. That guy, he don't know nothin'.

What?

Oh. OK, I wondered why he was wearing pink.


Here, have some more lasagna.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by zipperhead on 10-21-05 at 03:18 PM
In fact we’ve all been suspecting that you’re really a DUDE with huge man boobies.

Taking a look at your family, Tony, it's no surprise that you've forgotten what a real woman is like. Your wife is built like an old man and your sons act like little girls. You must be sooo confused.

And I wouldn’t talk, what about your whinny cry baby sista who can’t even go anywhere widout her backpacky.

And we shut her up, didn't we? More than you have done for any member of your family.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by CouchTater on 10-22-05 at 11:09 AM
Are you making me talk? Are-YOU- making-ME Talk? Oh, you’re gonna make me talk. You’re really gonna make me talk. I’m gonna hafta talk now! I’m talkin now.

Yeah, well we European men like REAL women. Not bionic femme bot Barbie wannabies filled wid silicone, like you. By the way, where do ya get ya parts from?
The junk yard?

Oh and my boys they might be a little whinny, but at least they’re real. What have you produced?


“And we shut her up, didn't we? More than you have done for any member of your family.”


We don’t believe in shutting up and holding things in, it just makes for a tight stick up your a** pinched looking face, like yours.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by warp_core breach on 10-21-05 at 02:28 PM
LAST EDITED ON 10-21-05 AT 02:35 PM (EST)

Yo! Shut your mouth! Your sista won't be the only broad cryin', beotch!


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by CouchTater on 10-22-05 at 11:11 AM
That's my boy!

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by warp_core breach on 10-21-05 at 02:37 PM
>Your sons are more feminine than
>me.


Well, you know what they say, "Real men wear pink."


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by zipperhead on 10-21-05 at 03:13 PM
Well, you know what they say, "Real men wear pink."

Which is why we won't be seeing you wear any pink, right?


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by bystander on 10-22-05 at 09:05 PM
Were you lookin for me? From what I can see, real women wear pink also!


Now jump up and down.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by warp_core breach on 10-24-05 at 10:51 AM
>Which is why we won't be
>seeing you wear any pink,
>right?
>
>


Yo! What ya got? Sh!t for brains? Can't wear pink when you dumb broads got the monopoly on it!


Monopoly? Another big word. Don't know how I came up with that one.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by cahaya on 10-21-05 at 11:58 AM
Honey, here are your slippers, robe and pipe.

We all know marathon runners don't smoke tobacco. Now, before you give me my slippers and robe, why don't you give me the ones you're wearing and let me keep them for a while?

a very smart man who turned my life around.

I hope you're talking about me, hon'!


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by universityofkentuckyrocks on 10-22-05 at 12:47 PM
Meghan, you did a great job, wait a go girl. For all of you other competors, the Linzs will win easily!


I know I'm late!

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by mjames1229 on 10-22-05 at 09:14 PM
Update from Sequesterville,I have been talking with Brock Rogers about our dumbaxe dads. Funny, both of us are from Louisiana, and both of our fathers don't know left from their right (or east from west), and neither of the fathers understand Brock nor I.

Every minute counts, and if Denny Rogers had a few more minutes, their family would be in the race, too.

By the way, Brock is kinda cute, don't you think? Good thing we have a lot more minutes in Sequesterville. I'll keep you posted!

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer (BARFE) - Episode 4"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-23-05 at 07:42 AM
And you're not so bad-looking yourself, cutie!

Of course, would I want your dad as a FIL? Considering I'm probably older than him?


What? Oh, nevermind.

"Sequesterville"
Posted by mjames1229 on 10-23-05 at 12:39 PM
It's a beautiful day here in... (what? I can't say where I am? We were, like, one of the first eliminated! We can't actually get any money that we will forfeit. What is van Munster going to do, bill us for the SUV rental and plane tickets?. Fine. Whatever.)

But I am going to the pool in that nice new two piece that I picked up with the $51 given to us at the start of the last leg in Huntsville. Do you think Brock will come by at all?


"RE: Sequesterville"
Posted by TivoTivoTivo on 10-23-05 at 09:27 PM

"RE: Sequesterville"
Posted by warp_core breach on 10-24-05 at 10:46 AM
>
>
>
>
>


Yo! Serves ya right! I remember you sayin' some nasty things about my Ma. Don't mess with us Paolos - It's called karma baby!

Ya beotch!

Karma? Don't know what it means just heard it somewhere.

"RE: Sequesterville"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 10-24-05 at 06:16 AM
What is van Munster going to do, bill us for the SUV rental and plane tickets?

Now that you mention it . . .

*calls Accounting*


Adding insult to injury since 2001.