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Forum: DCForumID9
Thread Number: 1159
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Original Message
"Breaking news out of California: God appears in court to file restraining order against Amber."
Posted by Estee on 08-24-07 at 09:12 AM
Just caught the tail end of the story on CNN. The poor deity was looking very stressed. I couldn't hear much through the throng of reporters screaming for Super Bowl predictions, but I did manage to catch the following fragments.

'...you're supposed to be my good and faithful servants, not the other way around... I'm not some sort of butler...'

'...haven't rested in weeks... just won't leave Me alone... all hours of the night... oh, Me...'

'...kill you all just to get to her, just see if I don't...'

'...honestly, I don't care about Big Brother. I watch Survivor. And that's in spite of Mark's deal...'

The announcer said God would be giving a press conference later to explain the full situation, but then CNN had to break away for a much more important story. (Apparently Britney Spears was caught chewing her fingernails, and you know what that means: all hands on deck...) So if anyone sees the full segment or manages to catch the press conference, please post here. I think we really need some more details on this one.

Poor deity. S/he really looked harried...


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Messages in this discussion
"RE: Breaking news out of California: God appears in court to file restraining order against Amber."
Posted by Colonel Zoidberg on 08-24-07 at 09:34 AM
I always took God for a TAR fan...well, maybe not, since He did let Flo and Zach win...

"RE: Breaking news out of California: God appears in court to file restraining order against Amber."
Posted by qwertypie on 08-24-07 at 10:42 AM
He was on vacation. Way overdue, if you asked me.
"RE: Breaking news out of California: God appears in court to file restraining order against Amber."
Posted by Colonel Zoidberg on 08-24-07 at 11:38 AM
He was on vacation.

Well, His stand-in didn't do a very good job, in that case...or maybe His stand-in was a Survivor fan after all...wait, no, Heidik won that season...wait, that season sucked.

Maybe we'll just have to go with the prevailing theory that God has better thing to do than intervene in competitive events.

Nah, too logical. We all know intervening in these events is Satan's job, not God's. How do you suppose Evel got on the show?

"RIP, God we hardly knew ye!"
Posted by kingfish on 08-24-07 at 09:28 PM
Nice try. But D1ck D's existence, Amber's self serving visions, and Jameka's me me prayers are proof positive that God is dead. And a merciful God would have not have allowed a Danielle to be conceived.

Arguably, it (His demise) might have happened after the above was reported.

And they evicted Jen. If there really was a living, functional almighty, that would never have happened.