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"CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by SOla on 12-17-05 at 05:32 PM
Not sure if this is posted yet, but I found this info on another board:

Just got a spoiler today from the other site that I read regarding Starting Over. Apparently Cassie from season 2 will be returning to the starting over house to reconnect with her son. She will be in the starting over house for a week.

You can find the posts with more info here:

http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3106028&view=findpost&p=4174598

http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3106028&view=findpost&p=4174969

I appoligise if this has already been posted, I didn't check.

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by kittystew on 12-18-05 at 11:45 PM
I tried to get the info by clicking on your links but could not get any info. Can you post here what you read about her coming back to reconnect with her son?
Thanks!
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by SOfan0221 on 12-19-05 at 08:38 AM
Looks as though whoever posted that on the other forum went back or the forum mods went back and blacked it out for whatever reason.

I always thought it wierd they graduated her since she didn't acheive either one of her steps. Her son turned her down, which was a chance she took when she started contacting him and she never got her GED while on the show and not sure she has since she left.

Starting this Wednesday through the first week of January SO goes to reruns of the beginning of this season when the women arrive at the house.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Miranda on 12-19-05 at 09:20 AM
You just have to highlight the blacked out text to read it. That's how that site handles spoilers.
Miranda
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by kittystew on 12-23-05 at 03:26 PM
Got it! Thank you!
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by eire_heart74 on 12-19-05 at 10:41 AM

>I always thought it wierd they
>graduated her since she didn't
>acheive either one of her
>steps.

I always thought that was odd too. But I think people just didn't care for her storyline since it wasn't really going anywhere. I don't think she really got a chance to heal from the past trauma either. She looked like such a mess. They just wanted to get that new person in and get cracking on a new drama.

And frankly I found her little crush on John Davidson a little odd!!!!

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by SOla on 12-19-05 at 10:50 AM
Her is what the "blacked out" said :


Cassie has been in contact with her son - he was told all of his life that she was dead - and she'll only be in the house for a week.

On the one hand, Cassie just bugs the hell out of me. I feel sort of bad about it because she seems like a nice person, but she just grates. I also don't like the trend of returning housemates since I'm usually more than happy to see the back of these chicks. On the other hand, I am kind of curious about Cassie meeting her son and I always thought there was something weird going on with the adoptive family, so I'd like to get more details.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by eire_heart74 on 12-19-05 at 12:44 PM

> On the one hand, Cassie
>just bugs the hell out
>of me. I feel sort
>of bad about it b

Don't feel bad. I feel the same way. I felt her a little whiney needy about to fall apart was almost to draining to watch. Although I admired her wanting to turn her life around, I felt bored watching it.

Her son thought she was dead? Wow this could be interesting. Seeing as she got that "letter" from him that everyone thought was forged.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by SOfan0221 on 12-20-05 at 06:58 AM
Her voice didn't bug me so much as that deer-in-the-headlights, lips scrunched up, bobble head thing she did while talking to people. And her Rhonda worship was kind of creepy, she was starting to look like a Rhonda clone before she left.

I think the adoptive mother had some deep issues, but it also appeared as though Cassie caused some of her own problems when she was still drinking. Even though she is on the wagon now, I doubt the adoptive mother has forgotten and Cassie was probably too drunk to realize the things she caused. If the adoptive parents told him she was dead, then I would imagine it would create problems for him to now have his real mother reappear.

Maybe Christina can help her with the math part of her GED. I wonder if she ever got that done?

If she is only there a week I can take it. Like Josie and Chloe for two days. But if it is another Allison, all season long appearance then I am going to scream.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by MariJ on 12-20-05 at 05:24 PM
Actually, I didn't care for Cassie either. Her voice used to grate on my nerves like chalk on a chalkboard. One particular day when she was on (I had TiVo'ed it), my son came over for lunch. He had the identical reaction that I did.
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by prettyamylee on 12-27-05 at 03:36 AM
i was just getting happy that allison is gone, and now they want to bring back in cassie? even if it juswt for a week :O i hope she refrains from scrunching her forehead!
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by AshLanie on 12-21-05 at 06:35 AM
>
>> On the one hand, Cassie
>>just bugs the hell out
>>of me. I feel sort
>>of bad about it b
>
>Don't feel bad. I feel
>the same way.
>I felt her a little
>whiney needy about to fall
>apart was almost to draining
>to watch. Although I
>admired her wanting to turn
>her life around, I felt
>bored watching it.
>
>Her son thought she was dead?
> Wow this could be
>interesting. Seeing as
>she got that "letter" from
>him that everyone thought was
>forged.

yeah, well I want to hear from the son's own voice that he thought she was dead.

Her story had so many lies in it that I was beginning to think i was watching ChrisH from season one.

First she said she had been sober for ten years then later in her stay she says she tried contacting him when he was 14 but the adotpd Mom wouldn't let her talk to him cause she was drunk. And that is when she decided to clean herself up. He was 18 at the time she was on which means she had only been sober for three-four years.

I always thought it strange also that she stayed home everyday after a male tried to do soething with ehr but never followed through. I think she was just skipping school...she did say she started drinnking at about the age of 12.

She was another, like Allison, who could whine, moan, groan, and was still treated with kid gloves.

She ahcieved neither of her goals yet went on to graduate.....that proved to me then that show is all aobut ratings etc and not about the Ladies and the *process*.

And why bring her back? RATINGS....bet she comes back tv time during Feb sweeps.


I am so tired of these ladies coming abck after they so called have had an emphiny and are declared good enough to graduate.

Sigh


"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by pegasustt on 12-26-05 at 02:34 PM
Who Forged the letter? the adoptive Mom?
What did the letter say?
i'm just now watching season 2# so i'm wanting spoilers
thanks,
TT

TT

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by celisabeth on 12-19-05 at 01:07 PM
>On the one hand, Cassie just bugs the hell out of me. I feel sort of bad about it because she seems like a nice person, but she just grates.
>I also don't like the trend of returning housemates since I'm usually more than happy to see the back of these chicks. On the other hand, I am kind of curious about Cassie meeting her son and I always thought there was something weird going on with the adoptive family, so I'd like to get more details.<

I agree. She seems nice enough, but something about her grates on me, and the mad crush on the creepy John Davidson weirded me out.

I got the impression that she was graduated from the house because the production team (or whoever it is who makes the decisions as to when the women are graduated or are unceremoniously booted from the house) felt that her "story" was getting stale. She seems very fragile, and I'm not at all sure that she left the Starting Over house any better able to handle her fears, her difficult past, and/or future difficulties than she had been before she'd come in.

There's another spoiler -- probably further down in she spoiler section now -- maybe on page two or three, where somebody lists the experts who will appear on the show over the course of the next month, including, I think, the Nestle Nutritionist who was in last week to pass around a chunk of lard and to recommend frozen entrees. Others on the list were the attorney who's been advising Christina as to how she should go about getting the photos of her removed from escort sites, and the bankruptcy attorney who met with Allison.

A couple of the experts listed are affiliated with addiction-related programs, and there's been speculation as to who in the house might've needed to speak with an addiction specialist. Maybe it's Cassie's son. Or, shoot, maybe it's Cassie herself. Even if she hasn't fallen off the wagon, the show might be sending her to an addiction specialist so that she can discuss her struggle with alcohol.


"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Labyrinth on 12-19-05 at 02:32 PM
does anyone see the parallels between Cassie and the new HG' Kim? I am wondering if Cassie is going to show up just to throw a spanner in the works of the regular SO HG's.
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Miranda on 12-19-05 at 05:33 PM
Labyrinth writes:
>does anyone see the parallels between Cassie
>and the new HG' Kim? I am wondering if Cassie
>is going to show up just to throw a spanner in
>the works of the regular SO HG's.

I'm not getting what you mean by "a spanner." I'm thinking Cassie will come in for a week to refill the house as the inmates are graduated or otherwise leave. Sure will be glad to FINALLY have the inside scoop on what happens over Christmas and/or if filming completely wraps before Christmas.

I've only seen bits of today's show so far, but it's taped to watch later. What parallels do you see between Cassie and Kim? I'd put Cassie out of my mind for my own well being. I remember her childhood wasn't good. I don't recall her being beaten?
Miranda

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Seabisquit on 12-19-05 at 07:12 PM
Miranda, I think Lab is referring to Cassie abandoning her son, and Kim's mother more or less doing the same thing to her. I think that is what she is referring to.
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Labyrinth on 12-19-05 at 07:32 PM
Right, not exactly the same role but shadows of the same issues but different views in the mirror.

Jill - Allison: both have mother issues.
Allison - Lisa: both are co-dependent.
Jill - Kim: both were abandoned by a parent.
TJ - Lisa: both were sexually molested; TJ raped.
TJ - Christina: both did not graduate from HS.
Kim - TJ: both are married with home and career

Etc... They'll bring back Cassie and she'll want to meet her son blah blah and Kim might say you know what I didn't like meeting my mother and you better be prepared to answer some tough questions blah blah.

See?

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Sues on 12-26-05 at 11:27 PM
Holy shi$!!!! As I'm reading your post I'm thinking 'THAT'S who she reminded me of'...only with brains and less 'head-light' bobble action.....good grief, you might be onto somethin'!!
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-19-05 at 05:33 PM
LAST EDITED ON 12-19-05 AT 05:34 PM (EST)

I'm looking forward to seeing what happens. I always thought it was unfair that the adoptive mom got to say whatever she wanted about Cassie, to the point where her son was all messed up.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Alpharedhead on 12-19-05 at 09:55 PM
Agghhh... that voice... that horrible voice.... Time to remember how to turn on the "closed caption" function on my set again.

~AR~

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by love on 12-20-05 at 02:52 PM
Cassie did NOT abandon her SON. She gave him up for adoption at birth. Kim's mother waited until she was 5 years old and then told her she was going for a visit never to return, that is abandoment. Cassie did what was best for her child. She trusted he would be better off with others who could take care of him. Kim's mom didn't seem to care what kind of environment the child was going to. Big HUGE difference.
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Labyrinth on 12-20-05 at 03:49 PM
Technically yes - and I fully support adoption --- but in the eyes of a child do you think they see the lack of a birth mothers' presence as clearly as this? The hurt and rejection run deep - and who is to say whose pain is deeper?

What would have been Kim's situation if her father had stepped up to the plate and been a responsible parent?

And in adoption,if the adopted child states they don't want to be contacted by their birth mother which happened to Cassie and Dr. Stan said to drop it I guess it's still okay for a television show to continue hounding and hunting these people down for a moment of television fame?

Cassie should have respected her son's desires and walked away. He would contact her when he wanted too. And I have yet to see any proof he was told that she was dead - at this point it is a rumor.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-20-05 at 07:22 PM

>
>Cassie should have respected her son's
>desires and walked away. He
>would contact her when he
>wanted too. And I have
>yet to see any proof
>he was told that she
>was dead - at this
>point it is a rumor.
>

At age 18, the young man had a right to know the truth and then to base his decision on that truth, not on the lies he had been told by a vengeful, bitter hag.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by jonimoni on 12-20-05 at 07:44 PM
As a reminder, all we know about the adoptive mom was what we got from Rhonda, who had an adgenda, Cassie, who had an adgenda and the ex-wife of the adoptive father (who was sleeping with him while he was still married to the a-mom)who, I would say, had a big adgenda. The way I look at it SO said alot about a woman who did not sign a paper to have her entire life examined and questioned by a bunch of voyers (us). Cassie was a drunken drug addict who traded favors for a place to sleep and drugs, basically a prostitute. She lied many times on the show and I couldn't stand her....still don't care to see her bobbin head back on the show....YUK! She didn't learn a thing....and yet the show with all of its integrity graduated her....YUK. When she is on I will not watch...this young adult is better off without her. She said she needed him to make her life complete...yuk, absolutely not his job. Oh goodness, I got started again...
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Labyrinth on 12-20-05 at 08:00 PM
Dr. Stan Katz is the only one on SO with any proper credentials. He advised Cassie to drop it. Why? Rhonda kept encouraging Cassie to pursue it. Why?

Rhonda - no degree, no licensure, no experience with adoption, no welfare experience I know of ---

vs. Dr. Stan - degree, licensure, experience interviewing children that have gone through hell and back, court advocate...

Wow... I wonder whose advice I would follow?

Yeah and in adoption agencies, the proper way to do it would have been Cassie to notify a mediator. He/She would have notified the son directly (if he was 18 at the time). The son would have informed mediator if he wanted to meet. There would have been no direct line from biological mother to offspring. This is how many adoption agencies handle this question.

Apparently the son didn't want to meet.

Back off Cassie. And back off B-M SO who wants to have a good show with some ratings.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-20-05 at 09:20 PM
They used a mediator. Let's not spread innacurate information.


"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by AshLanie on 12-21-05 at 06:49 AM
>They used a mediator. Let's not
>spread innacurate information.
>
>
>

They used an atotrney who suggested a mediator and that is when Rhonda asked Cassie if she wish for her, Rhonda, to be the mediator.

Hence, Rhonda was the mediator.


And even if they had used one that was not part of the show: an expert: Dr. Stan said it was best to drop it for now.

Rhonda is her wise edcuational wisdom turns to Cassie and asks her if she wishes to drop it.

Yeah, let Cassie make this decison..Casie who ONLY wanted her son back in order to make HER life complete.


"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-21-05 at 10:38 AM
There was an expert who directed Cassie is writing her letters and sort out what to do with the responses. Rhonda just made phone calls.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by AshLanie on 12-23-05 at 08:09 AM
LAST EDITED ON 12-23-05 AT 08:14 AM (EST)

>There was an expert who directed
>Cassie is writing her letters
>and sort out what to
>do with the responses. Rhonda
>just made phone calls.
>
>


A mediator takes on all aspects of the process, including phone calls.

Rhonda butted in cause Rhonda NEEDS to be in control.

Otherwise, why would Rhonda ignore Dr. Stan when he said it would be best for all to drop it at this time?

Cassie summed it up in one sentence regarding why she wanted to meet her son:

I NEED him to make MYSELF complete.

yeah, well, Cassie, he NEEDED you to be sober and drug free and be a Mom to him instead of giving him up, abandoning him, etc

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Labyrinth on 12-21-05 at 12:49 PM
Thanks Ash for clearing that up. So in perfect SO method, no professional mediator was used?

A mediator is selected because they have no invested interest in either party. That is why Rhonda would not be considered a mediator in this case Enfan.

Hmmm and once again, no answer to my post that Dr. Stan the only licensed professional affiliated with this show told Cassie to drop it.

Yeah so I guess I wasn't spreading rumor or innuedo. Thanks for the facts.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-21-05 at 03:17 PM
That is why
>Rhonda would not be considered
>a mediator in this case
>Enfan.
>
>Sorry, you misread my post. Also, maybe you missed a few episodes? Because there was a professional who came in, helped cassie write letters, and did some of the phone calling. She is also the one who located the dad's second wife..

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Labyrinth on 12-21-05 at 04:14 PM
I want to clear this up - because it is probably a problem of semanitcs -- what is a mediator?

They are COURT APPOINTED by a JUDGE. Did this happen on SO? Please fill me in on what episode??

The mediator is NOT connected with EITHER party. So what that Cassie had someone write letters - that is not a mediator's role. It was probably a lawyer who does mediation but was not acting in the true role of a mediator.

If one group refused to meet - no mediation took place. It takes two to tango. Writing letters is not mediation. Sitting down to a table, facing each other, having your discussion moderated by a mediator... that is mediation.

Just for laughs I decided to search California adoption laws
http://laws.adoption.com/statutes/california-adoption-laws.html

Consent Program:
California does not (emphais mine) have a mutual consent registry. However, the California Department of Social Services (CDSS) operates a statewide Consent Program for adoptees (age 18 and over), birth parents, and siblings of adoptees who are 21 years of age or older. The Program is only for adoptions finalized in California ... Upon receipt of a notarized consent form from an adoptee and a birth parent, or a notarized waiver form from an adoptee and a sibling, CDSS or the licensed adoption agency which handled the adoption can disclose the names and last known addresses of both parties so they may directly contact each other.

The only real question is did Cassie ever go through a real agency to finalize the adoption of her son? It was Cassie, who adopted her son off in the manner that she did (something more like I saw on Unsolved Mysteries during the Depression) and restricted her rights to whatever the adopted parents would want to impart to the son they raised.

The reality about SO is that it is a half-baked show using Life Coaches (unlicensed and untrained in mental health) putting women in a tight spot to agree with the B-M SO programming needs.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by AshLanie on 12-21-05 at 06:44 AM
>Cassie did NOT abandon her SON.
>She gave him up for
>adoption at birth. Kim's mother
>waited until she was 5
>years old and then told
>her she was going for
>a visit never to return,
>that is abandoment. Cassie did
>what was best for her
>child. She trusted he would
>be better off with others
>who could take care of
>him. Kim's mom didn't seem
>to care what kind of
>environment the child was going
>to. Big HUGE difference.
>

See, that is where we differ.....I do feel Cassie abandoned him.

I could see if she ahd been a teen when she had him but she was 23: An ADULT......she uses all kinds of excuses for givig him up......giving away a child (even to adoption) imho is abandonement.

A child will grow up feeling abandon no matter the circumstances.

Cassie had it all, she got a free pregnacy, she lived with the adotped parents......ONLY stayed sober while she lived with them per the adotpted parents rules......then gave him him and went right back on the streets.

I say streets cause she eventually admitted to using the system and guys to ahve places to live.

Another mentioned that maybe the specialist in addictions might be on for Cassie......well, how come this was done last season when she was on?

I am so tired of this show declaring Ladies ready to move on then bring them back because the first go round didn't happen as expected.

I wonder if Cassie, after graduating, ever followed through with obtaining her GED? I'll be curious to see if that topic is brought up with her.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by prettyamylee on 12-27-05 at 03:39 AM
I agree that she abandoned him. she chose drugs and drinking over him, plain and simple! they need to bring him to the SO house because i bet he has more issues than cassie could ever begin to think of!
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by shayshay1 on 12-23-05 at 12:38 PM
>LAST EDITED ON 12-19-05
>AT 05:34 PM (EST)
>
>I'm looking forward to seeing what
>happens. I always thought it
>was unfair that the adoptive
>mom got to say whatever
>she wanted about Cassie, to
>the point where her son
>was all messed up.
>
>


We never heard a thing the adoptive mom said, it was what Rhonda and cassie wanted us to know, we never heard her voice or her side of the story all the soh did was stalk this women, her son had alot of problems cause Cassie drank until she was 7 months pregnant,plus Cassie chose this family to adopt Dustin,if they were such bad people and it was an open adoption she could have gotten her life togeather and went back for him.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2) YEAH!"
Posted by LisaA on 12-22-05 at 11:16 AM
Awesome, awesome, awesome!
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by watchingClose on 12-25-05 at 01:50 AM
I'm very excited to see Cassie reunite with her son. Yes, she has made many bad choices in life without any family to support her. I'm an adopted mom who's son is 14 and asking questions. I told him God sent him to me and I honestly believe that. I love him more than life itself and if his adoptive mom who had similar problems such as Cassie would write I would encourage "my son" to seek the truth but I am self assured that my love and support which is unconditional wouldn't be concerned that I have a rival or his (real mom). More like I would kiss and hug the woman who cared about giving her child the life she couldn't give. My son is a wonderful child and without the birth mother's sacrifice her loss I wouldn't have my son.
I think that people think it must be easy to just toss aside a child but as an adoptive mom it took 8 years to adopt my daughter after the 1st child dying at birth and 3 birth mothers changing their mind at the last minute. (like Josie)and another 4 years after that for my son. Cassie has the right for her son to get to know her but she will find out that the mom who was there 24/7 will always be "his mom". I hope it works out for Cassie and that the adoptive mom will have some gratitude that she was picked to raise Dustin. It was a very unselfish act for Cassie.
I can't wait to see the week long eposide of the two of them. It's only right.
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-25-05 at 11:09 PM

Aw, you're the greatest. Thank you so much, only someone who is THERE would really know what goes on and how it feels. Bless you darlin', for your loving and realistic attitude.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by SOfan0221 on 12-26-05 at 09:34 AM
Watchingclose, you and your son obviously have a very strong, loving bond and it comes through on your post.

In Cassie's case, it was pretty obvious that the adoptive mother had some big issues as well as Cassie had some and apparently caused a lot of problems when she was still in her drug or drunken induced interactions with the adoptive parents. I think it was also mentioned that her son was having problems, not sure if they were behavioral issues or what.

I do not have much sympathy for Cassie. She chose drugs and booze over her child. She chose to give him up so that he could have a better life. Now that the child is 18 she wants to reinsert herself into his life. If he didn't know she existed to begin with, he will have trauma over that.

No, I totally agreed with Dr Stan, it was time to let it go and she needed to butt out.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by love on 12-26-05 at 09:59 AM
The thing is we all make mistakes. Cassie had her son's best interests at heart. I don't understand why some of you say she abandoned him, she knew she couldn't give him a proper home. She admitts she was addicted to drugs. 23 yes, so we seen Cassie didn't have a normal life growing up, I'm so glad she has it together now. She wasn't perfect she did the best given the time and her situation. Iyanla also gave a baby up for adoption. I am thankful for adoption. I believe Cassie made her decision out of love.
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Bmw4mom on 12-26-05 at 01:38 PM
Maybe I am speaking out of turn here but........I have seen several times in this thread that "Cassie 'chose' drugs and booze over her child". If you are truly an addict you have a disease, and that is something that takes away your ability to 'chose'. So I actually think that if she did give her son away because she knew that while being in the midst of her disease that she COULD NOT affectly parent she was smarter than most who are drug addicts. If she has truly got clean of drug and booze then the fog has lifted. And speaking from experience once that fog has lifted you have a lot of regrets. But please never say that while she was in active addiction that she had a choice. Drugs and alcohol can suck you into a world that you would love to get out of but can't. That is why they call it a disease.
I can understand her wanting to reach out to her son after having some sobriety under her belt. If she has truly ever worked a 12 step program then part of her recovery might actually be to reach out to him. However knowing what she knows about her past she must then too accept the fact that he may want nothing to do with her.
Although I do not know if I would do this through the SOH.
Just my 2-cents for what they are worth.
Have a great day!!
~BMW~
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by AshLanie on 12-26-05 at 01:55 PM
would agree except when she was seven months pregnant.....he adopted parents told her she would ahve to give up drugs and drinking in order to live with them.....Cassie said she did just that.


IF she could give it up to have a place to live for two months than she dang well could ahve given both up in order to bring up her child.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Bmw4mom on 12-26-05 at 03:01 PM
Whether she was seven month pregnant or not...........I could have given up drugs and alcohol for 2 months if I knew that after that I was able to use again. The disease is tricky like that, you can convince yourself that you can do anything as long as there is that hope that eventually you can be wasted again. No matter what she says, without some really help, i.e. AA, NA, Rehab. I'll bet she was using all the way up until the time she delivered. Maybe not everything she had used before but something to numb the very issues that started her using to begin with and to keep the adoptive parents in the dark about it. If they were inexperienced about drug and alcohol addiction it would have been very easy for her to mask it. Believe me I know, In my using days I was able to hide the fact that I was higher than a kite in front of police officers several different times. Very few people can give it up cold turkey.
Also depending on what she was using it could have taken up to 2 years for her brain to become clear from all the drugs and alcohol she was using. Therefore her judgement would have been impaired long after giving birth and giving him away. IMHO she did the best thing for him by giving him away, but it still doesn't make it an easier for her.
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Sues on 12-26-05 at 11:33 PM
If I adopted a child from a loser like Cassie, I'd tell the kid she was dead too....then arrange for it to be true...ooppss..was that my outloud voice???
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-27-05 at 11:47 PM

I know it's hard to believe if you have never been addicted... that it can happen to good people and that it can make you neglect a child. So many addicted parents try anyway, because they too believe their love for that child will triumph over drugs or drink and also because of the guilt trip around adoption. Cassie had to have been a strong, generous person to be able to see it, and act on it, ahead of time.

My mother wasn't addicted to drugs, but she was mentally ill and could be horrible and neglectful. How many times I wished someone like Cassie would step in and say I was really hers and not that witch's.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Sues on 12-28-05 at 00:49 AM
You know, I get addiction, I come from a long line of alcoholics...my issue with her is the 'oh woe is me', the lying and the lack of 'ownership'. Oh, and the idea that she's entitled to her son. She is not. Her happiness is her responsibility, if she's lucky enough to get a meet and greet, then so be it. She has no right to say squat about the adoptive Mother. Perfect or not, she picked up where Cassie left off..for booze. That's the reality, not the God awful poetry.....
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-28-05 at 02:39 PM

I totally agree, love. There was a really interesting exercise in season two when Rhonda sat with Josie and they went through a list of people, who was "good" vs who was "bad" and why it's so difficult for us to understand that it isn't that simple.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by sgtflo on 12-28-05 at 11:05 PM
1st time poster here so please don't thrash me too much. I just wanted to put my 2 cents in here as well. I was adopted when I was 3 years old and grew up thinking that my parents were dead. When I was in my late 20's I decided to make inquires into my family health history and found out that my "birth" mother was very much alive. What a shock it was to me to find out I was lied to for so many years. After I had time to think about it I understand why my adopted parents did what they did. They felt it would be easier for me to think they were dead than to grow up thinking I was abandoned. Thru the Catholic Charities I was able to meet my birth mother and agree the decision she made was the best thing for me. She didn't do it to abandon me but because she wanted a better life for me and couldn't provide it. She even showed me the picture of me she carried with her all those years. I have met some of my half siblings and am glad that I was adopted. I had a much better life with the parents who chose to love and care for me. Until you have walked a mile in someone's shoes you don't know why they made the choices that they did. I'm sure that Cassie made the best choice for her son that she could at the time. We only get to see such a small portion of what really happens in that house. I hope they get a chance to meet someday. Meeting my birth mother helped with the questions I had over the years.
"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by SOfan0221 on 12-29-05 at 11:10 AM
I am glad things worked ot for you sgtflo, and that you got to meet your birth mother.

As for Cassie, I really don't think she is stable enough to meet with her birth son. Cassie, and this is JMHO from what I have seen of her on SO, bobbles a fine line between reality and her own little world full of her poetry. She needs to be stronger as a person and a woman before she goes headlong into meeting her son. I totally agree with Dr Stan when he told her to drop it.

Rhonda has some sort of agenda in pushing this through and I don't understand it but I think she is opening a whole can of worms.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-29-05 at 11:55 AM

Sometimes ya gotta get past those worms to get to the fertile soil.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Labyrinth on 12-27-05 at 11:12 AM
So I guess I'm the only one who may think that Bunim-Murray is exploiting Cassie and her son to garner television ratings?

Whether Cassie wants to meet her son and whether he wants to meet her is their own business... however, I question the direction of a show who decides to put this on national television "exposing" the adoptive family who did not agree to be on national television.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by shayshay1 on 12-27-05 at 11:42 AM
>So I guess I'm the only
>one who may think that
>Bunim-Murray is exploiting Cassie and
>her son to garner television
>ratings?
>
>Whether Cassie wants to meet her
>son and whether he wants
>to meet her is their
>own business... however, I question
>the direction of a show
>who decides to put this
>on national television "exposing" the
>adoptive family who did not
>agree to be on national
>television.

I question this whole season they are exploiting women period, there is nothing authenic about thius season or this house

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-28-05 at 11:41 AM

Isn't that the reason for being, of any of these shows? I have to reconcile that within myself - that there is a certain amount of pandering to the lowest impulses within us, but we are helped by some of it too.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by Sues on 12-30-05 at 11:43 PM
tagging on here...

You know, maybe I'll embrace her return. After all...I had so much fun on her 'thread'...

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by pegasustt on 01-05-06 at 09:40 PM
I'm watching season 2 now, what happens with her and Andi Page?
on the previews for next week at the end of todays show, it shows her getting very mad at andi about her makeover and told Andi she never wanted to speak to her again. WOW!

can someone tell me more?

TT

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by celisabeth on 01-06-06 at 00:48 AM
>I'm watching season 2 now, what happens with her and Andi
>Page?
>on the previews for next week at the end of todays show, it >shows her getting very mad at andi about her makeover and told >Andi she never wanted to speak to her again. WOW!
>
>can someone tell me more?
>
>TT

Andy takes her to a hair salon, and they dye Cassie's hair a much darker shade of blonde. Cassie thinks she looks horrible and she has the reaction you mention having seen in the previews.

I thought Cassie's hair looked better than it had prior to the makeover, but I could easily imagine that Cassie, given that she a) had likely worn her hair in the same style and with the same (very unnatural-looking) color for many years, and

b) seems to have a very firm idea of what looks "pretty,"

would have a dramatic and negative reaction to the darkened hair.


Had I been her life coach, I'd've allowed her to vent about not liking the darkened hair, and then I'd've calmly suggested, "How about if you keep it as-is for (some set period of time -- two weeks, say) and if you still don't like it, then you can consider having it redone.

Instead, Rhonda had Andy bring Cassie in. Cassie was wearing a hat or a towel or something on her head. When Rhonda got a view of Cassie's new hair color, Rhonda began exclaiming in a way that I thought was ridiculously patronizing and phony -- "Oh, you look absolutely fantastic," etc. At this point, I remember having been annoyed with both Cassie and Rhonda -- Cassie because she was behaving so childishly, and Rhonda because she was massively overdoing the praise in a way that seemed to negate Cassie's feelings on the matter.

Andy Paige, as I recall, kind of stood back quietly and didn't say much. I think she reiterated some earlier comments she'd made about how the darker color was closer to Cassie's natural color, was more flattering, etc.

"RE: CASSIE (season 2)"
Posted by pegasustt on 01-06-06 at 02:00 PM
Thanks a bunch