LAST EDITED ON 07-11-04 AT 05:43 AM (EST)

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Welcome to NBC's semi-reality show, "Who Wants To Be The Next Seinfeld?". So far, we could possibly wind up with a new sitcom called "Holmes", "Gulman", "Madigan", "Pescatelli", "London", "Heffron", "Bodden", or simply "ANT".

The unusual recap starts the show off, and you can read about that in the Ep 6 summary.

Tammy returns to the castle, stopping to tell us that she beat Todd, who is "really, really funny." Geez, NBC must have made her say that. She receives a royal hug from Queen ANT and some light applause from others. Gary is dissapointed that Todd is gone and he looks a little pouty about it. Gary confesses that he didn't get involved in an alliance and that it may hurt him.

ANT tells the camera that the plan has been Bonnie, Todd, and Gary on the chopping block. "Bye Gary".

ANT offers his $1200 photo shoot to Jay Lo, and Jay Lo accepts. ANT admits to the camera that this is an attempt to manipulate Jay, so that Jay will vote for whoever ANT tells him. ANT informs Jay that he already has enough head shots. Jay Lo thinks that ANT is such a generous person and a great guy.

At the photo shoot, Jay doesn't look like he's had any changes in his hair, although the NBC summary tells us he has had hair and makeup done. I think he wants to look the same as always, otherwise, the caveman routine doesn't work so well. He actually had to ask, "How do you smile?", which I thought was kind of funny. It's also amusing to see him do modeling style shots in his white overalls.

It's John's turn to take a card from the fortune teller, which reads, "Show another comic how much you love them."

The challenge is going to take place at the Friar's Club, and the comics will roast one of their own for a chance to become an official member of the Friar's Club, which is kind of like a "YMCA for old Jewish comics" according to Jay Mo, who had to explain what the Friar's Club was to Corey. I think Corey was hoping for some fried chicken, but instead it was explained that three legendary Friars will decide who is the funniest. Someone will win immunity, but one piece of information is sealed in an envelope. Anyway, the winner will get free membership for a year to the Friar's Club.

The comics drop cigars with a name written on them into each other's cigar boxes. The tally goes like this:

Alonzo: No cigars
Gary: 1 cigar
Jay Lo: 6 cigars

And *ding, ding, ding* we have a winner, folks! The roasted comic will be Jay Lo, and it was ANT who orchestrated that one. (or was it??) Ant explains that he and his alliance realize they had a better chance of poking fun of Jay, then the other comics, because there was so much material there, and it gives them all more of a chance to win immunity. Hmmm, let's see how that works out for you, ANT.

John writes all new material. Gary struggles to write so he can win immunity, and is distracted by the Evil ANT's laughter: "That laugh is like a mad scientist." ANT tries out some cringe-worthy material while in the kitchen with some others, and John pretends to like ANT's jokes, all the while rolling his eyes. In a confessional, John tells us he's going to lie when people ask him if their joke is funny.

The Friar's Club:

The three Celebrity Friar Judges (take notice they are not called Talent Scouts this time), are introduced, but without this show or checking the IMDB, I would have thought these 3 peeps were dead. Okay, I'm still wondering about Phyllis Diller. Anyway, one of them is her, of course. Then there is Norm Crosby, whose act revolved around murdering the king's english, and Rich Little, a Johnny Carson favorite, who loved to do impressions, especially of Johnny. Jay Mo said "Rich is waiting for Johnny Carson to die, so he can do it the exact same way."

Gary gets up to do his routine, but gets bleeped quite a bit more than anyone else. Gary thinks it is mandatory to swear a lot, so he does, and starts by roasting the judges, asking "Who the *bleep* is Norm Crosby?", calling Phyllis Diller "the antidote to Viagra", and referring to Rich Little as "the man of a 1,000 voices - all dead". Then he turns on his housemates, calling ANT "irritating, sneaky, and bald", telling Tammy that "1978 called, and they want their eyeshadow back", claiming to have had Thanksgiving dinner at Corey's house, where there is a kids' table and an illegitimate kids' table, and he thanks Jay Lo for putting on a tux and taking the bone out of his hair.

Up next is John, who happens to be Jay Lo's room mate. John has done his homework and interviewed Jay prior to writing his material. He tells everyone about Jay Lo's experience cleaning our horse stalls. "How confusing was it that week for those flies."

Kathleen is too nice to do a roast, so she tells everyone how polite Jay Lo is, that he says "thank you" more than a Chinese waiter. She admits in a confessional that she hates these roasts, has always thought they were corny, and she would give a million dollars to be back at the laundromat. We are shown the clip of her in the laundromat, bombing big time and hating it. I think she's too young to have such a memory loss.

Corey's opening line is "A man should be judged by his deeds, and not his aroma." It only gets worse from there, so I won't torture you with it.

ANT claims that the Fab Five from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" said "NO" when they were presented with the opportunity to make over Jay Lo. He did his lame joke about Jay looking in the trash to fix lunch. "These are the jokes, people." So not funny, ANT.

Tammy tells Jay Lo that "There hasn't been a man on national tv with your sex appeal since Festus of Gunsmoke." Most of you probably don't know who Festus is, but I'm sure the Judges know.

Alonzo wows them with "Jay London, a wise man, a peaceful man, possibly a Cro Magnon man.", "He put a personal ad in National Geographic.", and "Jay London is looking for an endorsement deal from Goodwill."

Now it's Jay Lo's turn to roast them back. He starts by telling Rich Little that he went out with a promiscuous female impressionist who did everyone.

Comments from Judges:
Norm Crosby comments that Kathleen's material was lightweight, not strong, Corey is a charming player with weak material, Alonzo was extremely clever, John had great material, and a wonderful delivery, and Gary was very clever, but had a lot of crude.

Phyllis Diller calls John the cute one, a terrific writer with a lot of talent, says that Kathleen is just not ferocious, tells Alonzo that he has great hair (gets a laugh), his material is marvelous, and that it will take him far. Alonzo thanks her for her comments.

Rich tells the comics that he hates dirty material, and "you *bleeps* used a lot of it." He told Gary he had a good delivery, just a little too blue, needs to be cleaner and not enough jokes about Jay. Alonzo "absolutely blew me away. He was funny and clean." There was some editing to the point where ANT gets up to leave, and Rich says, "No offense, but you belong in a home." ANT asks, "Your home?" "No, we have a dog." He tells Jay Lo that he has great expressions, puts himself down a lot, which Rich thinks is always funny, and says looking at him, Jay has a lot of material to work with.

NBC decided to edit a lot of the comments, leaving out any mention of some of the houseguests. I kind of feel cheated, but then again, it's not the first time I've felt this way about this show, and I don't think it will be the last.

With 9.3 out of 10, the newest Friar is Alonzo Bodden. The sealed envelope revealed that Jay Lo had won immunity for being the roast victim. Alonzo is disappointed that he doesn't have immunity, but not to worry. Gary is the next target.

Back at the House:

For some reason, ANT reveals his survival strategy to Gary, telling him that he is not going to vote for him, so Gary can't choose ANT for the head to head. ANT seems confident that Kathleen would be chosen by Gary for the challenge. Gary asks ANT if he is going to let Kathleen fight his battles, and leaves the room, calling ANT a coward and stating that this is all beneath him. ANT counters back, "At 6'6", nothing is beneath you."

We are shown a clip of Tammy and ANT strategizing, with Tammy telling ANT he has to vote for Gary to defend his reputation. I think this scene would have been funnier if they were eating spaghetti with garlic bread and drinking wine. Oh, and they should have recreated that famous scene from Lady and the Tramp. On second thought, no. Ewwww!

Voting for the unfunny:

Jay Lo: Gary (because ANT asked him so nicely, after giving him the photo shoot)
Corey: ANT (paybacks are a female dog)
Gary: ANT
John: ANT (John indicates that this show down has to happen.)
Kathleen: Gary ("I hate this!")
Alonzo: Gary
Tammy: Alonzo (I wonder how long this strategy is going to work?)
ANT: Gary

Gary is very happy about that last vote because it means he can challenge ANT to the head to head. It's going to be the tallest versus the smallest in the house.

The Gary Versus ANT Showdown

Jay Mo warms up the crowd for the 3rd head to head by talking about women taking so long to get ready for bed. Hmmm, sounds like a marital problem to me, Jay.

Gary does some of his old material about being tall, and some double stuff we hadn't heard before about Oreo cookies. I'm kind of suspicious that this is really an NBC product placement, and Gary will receive huge shipments of cookies from Nabisco in payment. Is it more than a coincidence that NBC and NaBisCo have the same initials? National Biscuit Company = National Broadcast Corporation?

ANT focuses on his former job as a flight attendant, acting out the flight attendant's duties in case of a plane crash. He's funnier than I've ever seen him, and the editing made his act look like it got more laughs than Gary's.

Hold the phone - Gary wins by 73 percent of the vote. Gary says "Ding dong, the witch is dead!" Poor ANT cries a few tears, complains about the backbiting, and claims he is not the head of the alliance, just the puppet. I'm thinking that maybe a certain Sicilian made him an offer he could not refuse. I'm also starting to think that a show called "Gulman" might be in the works very soon.

Prologue: ANT appears on Jay Leno Wednesday night to do 1 minute and Jay shows a clip of ANT's defeat as a way of introducing him. ANT has a comedy special or show. I didn't catch the details, but it looks like being on The Last Comic Standing 2 has helped ANT get some exposure. They also mentioned ANT's appearance on Jay Leno on "Inside Edition".

Silvergirl
Last Comic Standing 2 summary writer
See ya in two weeks! *waves*