I have watched this show from the beginnng and I just can not get over the absurdness (sp) of it. The show is supposed to give Average Joe's a chance but then they introduce three "hot" guys, Now Melana is disguised in a fat suit and sees video tape of the guys talking about her fat self and says that it will influence her decision. Didnt she cut all the fat unattractive guys already? Now she is concerned about what the guys are saying about a fictional person that is really her. Melana seems to be a shallow person and frankly I dont think she is very beautiful. By the way she will probably pick Adam as he is filthy rich ad John is just a waiter.

• RE: Episode 5,Chrissy gal, 02:25 AM, 12-02-03
  • RE: Episode 5,Evisceria78, 02:32 AM, 12-02-03
  • RE: Episode 5,Tiger Lily, 02:45 AM, 12-02-03
    • RE: Episode 5,volsfan, 07:07 AM, 12-02-03
    • RE: Episode 5,kelli_blue, 01:01 PM, 12-02-03
  • RE: Episode 5,PEEJOLA, 12:21 PM, 12-02-03
• RE: Episode 5,green, 03:29 AM, 12-02-03
  • RE: Episode 5,JustMe2001M, 11:43 AM, 12-02-03
  • RE: Episode 5,Fat Melena, 03:56 PM, 12-02-03
  • Episode 5 short (long) summary,Blow by Blow, 04:15 PM, 12-02-03
    • RE: Episode 5 short (long) summary,ladro, 04:32 PM, 12-02-03
      • RE: Episode 5 short (long) summary,Blow by Blow, 05:02 PM, 12-02-03
    • *snort*,Tiger Lily, 05:21 PM, 12-02-03
    • RE: Episode 5 short (long) summary,CaliGirl, 01:19 AM, 12-04-03
      • RE: Episode 5 short (long) summary,Blow by Blow, 12:11 PM, 12-04-03
• RE: Episode 5,ladro, 12:50 PM, 12-02-03
• Ranting and raving,Blow by Blow, 03:42 PM, 12-02-03
  • RE: Ranting and raving,ceedee, 00:17 AM, 12-03-03
    • RE: Ranting and raving,JustMe2001M, 09:51 AM, 12-03-03
      • RE: Ranting and raving,ceedee, 09:36 PM, 12-04-03
        • RE: Ranting and raving,JustMe2001M, 09:48 PM, 12-04-03
          • RE: Ranting and raving,ceedee, 10:34 PM, 12-05-03
    • RE: Ranting and raving,Blow by Blow, 12:29 PM, 12-03-03
• RE: Episode 5,ValleyGirl, 06:14 PM, 12-02-03
  • RE: Episode 5,ego, 01:29 PM, 12-03-03
    • RE: Episode 5,bell83, 01:24 AM, 12-04-03
      • RE: Episode 5,teejax22, 04:15 PM, 12-04-03
        • RE: Episode 5,escapedude, 06:47 PM, 12-07-03

Welcome Evisceria78!

I think this show should be called "Shallow Melena" since there is nothing Average about the last 4 Joes (Jock, Millionaire, 2 Pretty Boys).

I cannot believe she told Jason he is so "pretty". Is that a compliment??

When Melena was in the fat suit she didn't show any personality and she didn't smile. When Adam tried to shake her hand she didn't even try to shake his hand. Any reaction the guys had towards her could have been because she seemed so boring (and even a little b*tchy) instead of because she was in the fat suit. It would have been a better test to have an overweight woman with a great smile and personality to see how the guys would react.

I am sick of Melena telling us how great looking she is!!

Chrissy gal

"Never underestimate the potential psychosis of a reality show contestant." managerr

Hi Chrissy Gal,
I totally agree with you, When Melana was in the fat suit she didnt have any personality whatsoever, so what are the guys supposed to think. (also i thought the makeup looked a little fake)
When they showed Melana walking down the street in the fat suit being ignored and her saying ...usually all the men are
drooling over me and asking for my # but since Im fat and horrible no one wants to talk to me ( or something to that effect)it just made me sick.
And I dont think Jason is that good looking and why didnt they show his comments towards the fat cousin?

You're right, Chrissy; Melana showed no personality whatsoever during the fat suit scenes. And she kept complaining that they directed all their answers toward the pretty friend- but from what I saw, the friend was the one asking most of the questions.

And I wanted to puke when she kept telling Jason how pretty he was.

The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

What a conceited little b*tch! Melana is just like all other hippocrits out there. She got rid of all the "fat" guys first and didn't even want to get to know them better. Then, she is put in a fat suit and it is all a different story!

Jason is as pretty as she said he is!

>And I wanted to puke when
>she kept telling Jason how
>pretty he was.

I thought that was pretty odd too...even though Jason (IMO)IS hot, I don't know of any guys who would want to be called *pretty*.

You are dead-on. "Fat" Malena barely spoke. Interesting that we saw no comment about the other gal. They had to have said something about her.

Sorry, I watch that show all the time, but I didnt have a chance to see the "fat cousin" episode because of the storm. Would someone mind giving me a summary please? Thanks.

I don't know....I still say Melana looked more intelligent in the fat suit.....but maybe I'm just biased.

Hi.

On the show last night, Melena put on a fat suit that made her weight about 290 pounds (instead of 100), put on a wig, and colored contacts. She looked a lot like Fat Monica on Friends. They staged her leaving (from a distance) via a look-alike hugging cousin and friend and jumping into a van with tinted windows. To get used to the suit, Fat Melena went downtown and asked people where the nearest "whatever" was. Everyone (on camera, that is) ignored her. Fat Melena was introduced as Melena's cousin and interviewed the guys with Melena's skinny friend. There were three hidden cameras on the guys after the interview. The guys were discussing Fat Melena and how they wouldn't f*** her, one would give her a lap dance, once was saying it was the Fat Friend syndrome...you have to be "in" with the fat friend to have a chance with the skinny built girl. It was just some guy talk being mean about fat people in general...Fat Melena specifically.

Episode 5 - A Fat Suit Letdown

Let's see, we're down to four guys (Zachass, Stubble, Pretty, and Curly).

Stubble, Curly and Melana go on a three-way date to the world's lamest zoo. Malena has to pick one of them for an extended date. Because she's so lame and 'fair' she picks Curly because she hasn't had a chance to get to know him yet. This is when Stubble realizes that if she actually liked him, she wouldn't have decided to go on a date with Curly. Stubble is bitter and doesn't wave goodbye to them.

Malena and Curly have dinner next to the jaguar cage. Too bad there's a glass wall between them and the big cats. They make inane conversation. Curly uses his sing-song voice and holds his head at an angle. Malena is no longer entranced. The date ends early.

Back at the house Curly is coy with the boys in the hot tub about what happened. None of them are happy. Stubble folds his arms across his chest to hide his belly.

Next day Zachass and Pretty go on an epic date with Malena on the Stars and Stripes America's Cup yacht. Now, here's the thing, racing yachts aren't meant for comfort. They have low decks, minimal seating, bare necessities. And of course they come with a massive crew to handle the thing. So it's a lame date.

Malena takes each guy to the fore deck to talk. It's so lame. Pretty says she's pretty and she says he's pretty and that she also has a crush on Zachass. Pretty doesn't undertand. Then she talks with Zachass and feeds him the same crappy line about wanting to give Pretty a fair number of dates.

A motorboat pulls alongside to take Zachass off. He's pissed and gripes about the lonely three hour ride back to the mantion. See, they picked a terrible location for this show - the middle of the f'ing desert. Meanwhile, Pretty and Malena drive back in the limo and smooch all the way.

Now, if Pretty were a real man, he'd be working on getting Malena out of that string bikini. This is, after all, their second date and Melana never said she wouldn't put out on a second date. But Pretty is just too lame.

Next day the guys get to move into Malena's mansion's pool house. Whoop-dee-doo. Luckily we're not subjected to any dropped suitcase foibles like we were in the first episode.

Now Melana narrates the scam they're going to pull with the fat suit. We see her getting all made up. Yawn.....

Okay, the guys get to meet a friend and a cousin (actually Malena in disguise!!). They never tell us if this is a real friend or just a producer's niece hoping to break into show business. Whatever. Each guy comes in, Malena barely makes eye contact, asks stupid questions. It could just be the camera angle, but the guys all seem to speak directly to the pretty friend while avoiding Malena's eye. Then, to clear things up, Malena tells us that yes, that's what they were doing.

Oops, I forgot to mention the part where Malena mingled with the public as a fat girl and asked random guys where a movie theater was. She gets ignored. It makes her sad. She doesn't comment on booting off all the fat guys within two weeks. She also doesn't mention whether she's curteous and solicitous to every fat slob who's talked to her on the street. See, this was all so boring that I forgot about it while yawning my head off.

So anyway, after the guys meet the fat cousin it's back to the pool house where the cameras catch every word they say. Sadly for us, the pretty boys never say anything and all we get to see is 30 seconds of Zachass being an ass and Adam, I mean Stubble, cracking jokes. How is this any different than every other episode up to this point? Answer, it's not. That's why we only get 30 seconds of hidden camera footage. Oh, Adam does say that the 'cousin' looks like Monica on Friends in a fat suit. Astute fellow.

Malena watches the footage and is disturbed by Zachass's behaviour. Wow, looks and brains. She's finally figured out he's a jerk. Hmmm....

So it's time for eliminations. Malena comes in wearing the fat suit and makeup. Tells the guys her opinion is important because....oh my god...she's pulling off the makeup and it's Malena underneath. Adam (Stubble) gives a nice Joe Schmo impersonation (WhaaAt is gOing ONnn?). Zachass puts his hands over his face because he realizes the jig is up. Curly looks amused because he doesn't care what happens on this show. Pretty looks confused and is trying to figure out if Malena was eaten by the cousin, or if this is actually Malena's twin sister in a fat suit, or if his hair looks good.

First guy to go is Curly. He doesn't care because (in a sing-song voice), "hey, it's all cool, it was fun, I hope Malena is happy, is that a producer's niece I can hit on?"

Next up is fan favorite Zachass. Malena says, "the crush is over." Zachass is nearly speechless. But once he gets outside he blows off some steam and tells the cameraman, "you might as well turn that off because I'm done talking." But that's out of character for Zachass, so he goes ahead and starts talking again. But for all I can tell they're playing a tape of Jon and Sandra going at it because it's just one long bleep.

Next week - the guys take Malena home. Adam, it seems, has done well for himself.

-P

You have a talent for summarizing. (Zachass, Stubble, Pretty, and Curly) lol.

LAST EDITED ON 12-02-03 AT 05:30 PM (EST)

Thanks! I did it from memory, which probably helped. Of course, my memory is so fuzzy that I couldn't remember what their real names were.
-P

Curly looks amused because he doesn't care what happens on this show. Pretty looks confused and is trying to figure out if Malena was eaten by the cousin, or if this is actually Malena's twin sister in a fat suit, or if his hair looks good.

LMAO.

>Now, if Pretty were a real
>man, he'd be working on
>getting Malena out of that
>string bikini. This is, after
>all, their second date and
>Melana never said she wouldn't
>put out on a second
>date. But Pretty is just
>too lame.

I recap this show for another site and came to check out the competition. I take extensive notes and all I can say is that you did a very nice job - and all by rote!

The dialogue in these shows is limited to 12 words which must include "connection" "level" "awesome" and "amazing." I know you can guess at the rest. Talk about lack of intellect!

The only acerbic one in the whole bunch is Kathy Griffin and they took away the little that she had to do in order not to hurt the guys' feelings. Oh, puleeze!

Mr. Pretty is so totally blah that he and Melana should shill for an Ambien substitute. Their conversations could put Richard Simmons to sleep.

Finale: 2 hours next week - whatever will they think of next?

Thanks for the compliment!

>>The dialogue in these shows is limited to 12 words which must include "connection" "level" "awesome" and "amazing." I know you can guess at the rest.

Now that's hilarious. Let's see, the few of the other words are:
Love (though we'll see less of this with lameJohn off the show)
Surprise (usually in voice overs)
Pretty (when Pretty and Malena are talking)
Real (never accurately used, as in "I think this could turn into a real relationship.")

So where can I find your recrap?

-P

Yes, the absurdity of it all. This is further from Reality TV than a scripted situation comedy. Now that I am watching, I gotta see how it ends, but I have no interest in AJ2.

Why do I keep watching this show? Because every week it's a brand new show!! They change the rules, they bring in studs, they put on fat suits, and, best of all, the host changes. It's just such wonderful garbage.

What I've found interesting in the past two weeks is that Malena is incapable of carrying on a conversation with any of the hot guys. They just stare at each other and exchange dopey lines. I think she's very empathic and her personality flexes to accomodate whoever she's talking to. So that's the upside of this whole train wreck.

The downside - the producers clearly had no idea where this show was going and didn't have the balls to stick with their original concept once they saw the guys getting their little hearts broken. What happened to Kathy Griffin (Griffith?) this week? They turned Malena into the show's narrator and completely ditched the hostess. I guess Kathy was having too hard a time keeping her acid tongue in check.

About the fat suit - Malena's personality completely disappeared under the flab. She wasn't making eye contact and she wasn't friendly. Adam came away saying he basically thought the 'cousin' hated him. Interesting. Does she really think the guys formed all their opinions of her based on the fat?

About the hidden cameras - c'mon guys, you've been taped for a month now and you still haven't learned to watch what you're saying? Unbelievable. And the hot guys, the only reason they didn't say anything negative is because they don't actually have anything to say, ever.

This show would be so much better if there was added commentary in the Blind Date style to offer us Kathy's insights into these losers. Singing crappy German songs and forgetting the words? That should have been mocked for a full hour. Instead they just let it pass. Morons!!

Zach's bad breath - that's the perfect time to slip in the fact that his toothbrush has been in the toilet.

And here's another thing - if the producers have suddenly turned all sensitive on us, why don't the booted guys immediately speak with a counselor before having the cameras turned on them for their final words? Lame-o.

Ah well, at least we only have another week of this garbage. If I plan carefully I can avoid the Hawaii season.

-P

>About the fat suit - Malena's
>personality completely disappeared under the
>flab. She wasn't making eye
>contact and she wasn't friendly.
>Adam came away saying he
>basically thought the 'cousin' hated
>him. Interesting. Does she really
>think the guys formed all
>their opinions of her based
>on the fat?

I completely agree! I haven't watched much of the show, but the bits I have caught seem to indicate that they are missing the boat - on both sides. Both the guys and gals blame other people for evaluating them on their looks and the superficial stuff without digging deeper. But - people are attracted to self assured people who like themselves, like others, have confidence and have fun - even if they aren't models. It's so easy to blame it on how you look, vs. how you act and what's inside. People are friendlier to people who smile and appear comfortable - and that make up was rather scary!

I haven't watched it all but I caught the episode where John was kicked off - I kept thinking - man this guy is just so needy - it would be a full time job reassuring him all the time - who needs to be someone's mom! Waaaayyyy too much work to keep bolstering this guy up.

You're really saying I'm ugly, aren't you. I can tell.

I've read your rant about desserts - with that much personality shining through you have to be cute

Did I really sound like I was ranting????? I guess I must still have issues.......

You're a sweetheart, btw!!!!

Maybe a litte rant - but its a GREAT life philosophy - enjoy dessert - enjoy life!

>>the episode where John was kicked off - I kept thinking - man this guy is just so needy - it would be a full time job reassuring him all the time

I totally agree with you on that one. This guy had absolutely no perspective on relationships.

-P

Melana looks all set to choose AJ "Adam" on the preview for next week's final episode. The two will probably pair up and appear on the next Temptation Island or failing that on Extreme Makeovers. Good luck to them both, they will need it.
Valley Girl
"I'll never marry an Average Joe" .....that would be great for a spinoff .....

I wouldn't talk to some obviously faked out overweight mean looking girl walking down the street with a camera behind her either.

And I'm positive some people did, but they edited it out to get some good footage of how unfortunate it is to be 'fat'.

Give me a break!

Or maybe they really just didn't know the directions to the movie theatre!

I'm also pretty disgusted with this episode. Too many changes for such a short show...and the changes are not for the better. I was also wandering why the two pretty boys didn't say anything about fat Mel. I personally think the show probably edited out what they said to make it seem like the two AJs are just a**es in real life.

The more i watch this show the more i realize how fake and contrived it is..It would not surprise me if it is entirely scripted/staged..!

Reality..huh?