This morning I went to a casting call for SO, went without expectations and an open mind. But all day its been bugging me.

For those of you who might wonder what happens at these events:
I was given a form with a number on it. The form asks what your core goal is, what are obstacles to your goal and how SO might help you to achieve it. With a form is a fact sheet w/ explanations and disclaimers, etc. of what to expect should you be chosen to move forward in the casting process.

We were broken up into groups of 8 women, in the order of our form numbers. (Handicapped/disabled women were taken first without regard to their numbers). While waiting, Andie from the original cast came and spoke to all the casting hopefuls and answered questions.

My group of women were taken to a room w/ a round table (with a box of tissues in the middle) and a man named Fred. He collected our papers and went around the table having us introduce ourselves and state our goals. He asked a few questions, mostly in regards to clarifying stated goals, but also related issues. Some women spoke for what seemed like a long time, a few--like myself--were quite brief.

The stories the woman brought to the table were VERY personal and heartwrenching: abuse, cancer, depression, loss of parent, child and spouse and disfiguring burns. More than 1/2 the women cried though most of this time. After about 1/2 hour we were dismissed.

Out in the hall some of the women were planning to go for coffee together to continue talking, but I could not bring myself to go. Something about the process seemed quite wrong to me. To spill your guts in front of strangers, be prompted--and then cut off-- by a man with some kind unclear agenda, it frankly seemed quite exploitive.

I've never thought of the show as exploitive, but rather educational and loving. Now, I am having second thoughts. Has anyone else had this experience? I'd love to hear what you think. Thanks.

• RE: Casting call,Devlynne, 06:44 PM, 10-15-05
  • RE: Casting call,GreenSideUp, 09:41 PM, 10-15-05
• RE: Casting call,summerwatcher, 08:43 PM, 10-15-05
  • RE: Casting call,NuKwa, 09:27 PM, 10-15-05
    • RE: Casting call,sneakpeek, 12:49 PM, 10-16-05
      • RE: Casting call,HistoryBuff, 07:43 AM, 10-20-05
• RE: Casting call,Labyrinth, 11:07 PM, 10-15-05
• RE: Casting call,kcoxe, 02:00 PM, 10-16-05
• RE: Casting call,masonmookie, 02:34 PM, 10-16-05
• RE: Casting call,GunsAndRoses, 00:46 AM, 10-17-05
  • RE: Casting call,Carn3, 01:11 AM, 10-17-05
    • RE: Casting call,JohnEthc, 03:40 AM, 10-17-05
  • RE: Casting call,NuKwa, 01:27 PM, 10-17-05
  • RE: Casting call,justsaynototoughlove, 05:07 PM, 10-17-05
• RE: Casting call,nikig1, 06:06 PM, 10-19-05
  • RE: Casting call,NuKwa, 11:09 AM, 10-20-05
    • RE: Casting call,Tjsmyfav, 07:03 PM, 11-14-05
• RE: Casting call,chaines, 03:30 PM, 10-20-05

I have always been very curious about the casting calls, thank you so much for sharing your experience of one. It is unfortunate that they get such a large pool of applicants to open up only to be left to process on their own, however a production company is a business and that comes with its own limitations. It is good that the women were supportive of one another and planned coffee afterward to help each other debrief.

Good Luck to you!

How crass can you get. They couldn't leave one staffer in there to help everyone decompress after spilling their guts?

>This morning I went to a
>casting call for SO, went
>without expectations and an open
>mind. But all day
>its been bugging me.
>
>>My group of women were taken
>to a room w/ a
>round table (with a box
>of tissues in the middle)
>and a man named Fred.
> He collected our papers
>and went around the table
>having us introduce ourselves and
>state our goals. He
>asked a few questions, mostly
>in regards to clarifying stated
>goals, but also related issues.
> Some women spoke for
>what seemed like a long
>time, a few--like myself--were quite
>brief.
>
>The stories the woman brought to
>the table were VERY personal
>and heartwrenching: abuse, cancer, depression,
>loss of parent, child and
>spouse and disfiguring burns.
>More than 1/2 the women
>cried though most of this
>time. After about 1/2
>hour we were dismissed.
>
>Out in the hall some of
>the women were planning to
>go for coffee together to
>continue talking, but I could
>not bring myself to go.
> Something about the process
>seemed quite wrong to me.
> To spill your guts
>in front of strangers, be
>prompted--and then cut off-- by
>a man with some kind
>unclear agenda, it frankly seemed
>quite exploitive.
>
>I've never thought of the show
>as exploitive, but rather educational
>and loving. Now, I
>am having second thoughts.
>Has anyone else had this
>experience? I'd love to
>hear what you think.
>Thanks.

Thanks for the detailed account of the recruiting process. I have read accounts from other applicants, but none of them seemed to be able to describe the process in such detail for some reason. They all seemed either rather vague or rather worshipful. The show has always appeared to walk a very fine line between exploitativeness and voyeurism; especially when it involved family members of the houseguests. Nevertheless, some people seem to find it both entertaining and educational. I think that is what makes it so popular.

Thanks for the comments, Devlynne and summerwatcher.

I realize this is a business, and a TV show and there are commercial interests, budgets, production concerns, etc. Somehow all of this has to reconcile with real women and authentic issues. Maybe it is too idealistic to think it can be perfect or --at least-- majorly healthy.

After my experience this morning, I would recommend women to submit tapes rather to subject themselves to this audition process in the event they are considering a casting application. We were assured that all tapes are viewed.

The fact sheet recommended to "be yourself" but I did not feel myself at all. The setting was too artificial. I did not know Fred's credentials and was guarded as to opening up to him. I think I was in the minority, though, because most seemed more than willing to go into remarkable detail about their painful issues. I remember at one point thinking I will get up and leave, but I didn't. I felt an obligation to the women, if only to have them know they were heard.

NuKwa - I think they should use a woman producer to hear your stories. This show hipes - "for women and about women" so why a man listening to your stories????? I've always believed that they "cast" people rather than really try to help people. Now that they won an emmy, they will get worse. I think Ilanya is trying to win the best actress category this season.

>NuKwa - I think they should use a woman producer to hear your stories. This show hipes - "for women and about women" so why a man listening to your stories????? I've always believed that they "cast" people rather than really try to help people. Now that they won an emmy, they will get worse. I think Ilanya is trying to win the best actress category this season.

sneakpeek, I pretty much agree with all your points but, speaking only for myself, I would prefer a male overseeing the process. And the reason is that my core issues all revolve around distrust of women in general!

Your observation about Iyanla cracks me up. That's probably the reason for the perceived tension between her and Rhonda. . .Rhonda's been trying for best actress since SO started and has been totally outperformed since Iyanla came on board.

On some of the other RealityTV message forums you can read posts by folks who have gone to casting calls for various shows. There seems to be a common theme - they want people who are very gregarious and outgoing. This makes for good television.

Since you were quiet and reserved, you won't be called back. I think that is a GOOD thing!

Thanks NuKwa for your informative post. The process sounds terrible. It is like, O-kay Lady, spill your guts lets hear it, now we are going to disect it to see if we feel it is "show worthy". Well... we thought about it and the answer is no, so... next?!?

I too went to the casting call. I thought that it was hard and I was left open. I've also been that way for a long time. If I don't receive a call back I know that I did learn one thing.
(I AM NOT ALONE) There were many ladies there sharing almost similar stories, secrets, worries,etc. I was thankful for the opportunity to meet such brave women. Good Luck

LAST EDITED ON 10-17-05 AT 00:46 AM (EST)

With all due respect to those who have attended a casting call, what does one expect when auditioning for a REALITY show. That was a producer who sat in the room with you as you were telling your story, not a therapist or a life coach, and he was there to see if you would fit the part of one of the CHARACTERS that they would cast for the show. They are looking for certain stories and personality types that would work best for the show's drama. Each woman is cast to play a certain part and are invited to the house to play a certain role, i.e., 1) the villian, 2) the drama queen, 3) the pitiful one who cries alot, 4) the fat one who needs to diet, 5)the hottie who will entice a male audience, and so on and so forth. Those who get chosen are strategically placed in the house at specific timeframes so that there are different personalities starring at the same time to add an element of drama and to make the show work. After all it's a reality show . The women who were there baring their souls have got to understand that Starting Over is not about helping you, it's about you helping them to get ratings.

If you felt exploited at the audition, can you imagine what it would be like to actually land a role on the show? You only got a glimpse of the exploitation which is very similar to Jerry Springerlike motives.

I think they should let Rhonda and IV actually "pick" the women for each house, then maybe they could choose the ones they think might would most benefit from any help the SO might actually be able to give them, instead of these women coming in and bearing their souls to some male producer, who is only thinking about ratings, and who might fit the best "character" for each role-just my theory, but I think if they were actually about wanting to help people, then this might be a better way to go.
I think it would be so interesting, to be able to "see" the things they dont show us that go on in the house. I wonder if the HG`s have to sign some kind of clause before entering, that prevents them from "telling all", once they are no longer a HG. I know Denise kind of hinted at this sort of thing, when asked about the incident with Sommer, that legal issues prevented her from talking too much about it, or something to that affect.

Denise wouldn't talk about it, but Rachel gave her scathing opinion of Sommer and the issues with her in this interview...
Enjoy!

http://www.realityshack.com/modules/articles/article.php?id=767

John

Guns&Roses

Well, thanks for your comments, and in hindsight, I wish I had been less naive going in. I personally don't feel exploited, though. I did not spill my guts and was not completely candid during the process. My internal yellow flag was up and waving and I yielded to it. What I wrote was that the process was exploitive. Watching the show in the past I did not realize--fully-- the behind the scenes manipulations.

But if what you write is true, then it calls into question the true motives of SO show. (The motives of shows like Springer and Real World are pretty transparent). What I perceived in SO as a feminist kind of manifesto is clearly something else --if you are correct in your assessment. Can a reality show for women by women happen without the historic exploitation and lies of omission we know exists? (And I think Dr. Stan's presence on the show is not a contradiction--male therapists can be very therapuetic in the appropriate setting). As for the gentleman who facilitated the casting call group, I am questioning his credentials and methods, not the fact he was male. His motive was pretty clear.

Bravo to guns and roses.

Just curious - what time did you have to arrive and how long were you there?

Thanks for the honest and candid information.

Nikig1

The casting call was posted from 10 am till 5pm. I arrived at 9:30 not sure if there would be a huge line. After the circle table group I went directly to my car and noted it was 12:30.

I want to urge women NOT to attend these casting calls, but to submit a tape for casting consideration. This process is not healthy or kind. It's a meat market of raw emotion at the expense of women who deserve better.

moms have been real boring on the show too, i think it has to do with individuals..
and the tears are just what they are, why do all of these women need a show to heal.
kudos to the women who went out for coffee afterwards.. i appreciate those intentions

I went to a casting call back in December '04 and although a woman was the facilitator, I got the feeling that they didn't really want women that had "real" issues. I was in the group with a girl (a minor at the time), that 18 months before had met a "boy" (a 48 year old man on the internet) and he abducted her and took her to TX from CA and was eventually caught and tried and was in prison for his crime. She, however, was having a very hard time adjusting to life and was really struggling. Now, my thinking is, this is such a huge issue with teens these days and what a great story to do on the show, not only would she be helped but the reality of this problem would also be brought out into the open. They did not call her back though and were more interested in a woman in her 60's that couldn't find a man. BORING!!!! My issue was depression, and although I am being helped for it, it is still hard to adjust to life after experiencing such a life altering illness. I also notice that they don't like to have "moms" of children (ages 1-17) on the show. There are only a handful of moms that have been on the show from the beginning.

There's my two-cents.