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Thread Number: 1070
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Original Message
"Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by Seana on 05-11-05 at 09:43 AM
Uchenna and Joyce: I'm happy to tell you that you are the winners of the Amazing Race and one million dollars! You guys won despite starting last, losing all your stuff, having to make a special trip just to beg and having a flat tire. Nice teamwork, too. I must say, I was sure there would be a bad map-reading moment, but it seems you worked on that little problem. You found the pit stop and everyone cheered. How does that feel?

Rob and Amber: An uncharacteristic mistake on the bridge jumping - in order to jump off a bridge, you have to be on one. Not that it cost you so much time, of course. Poor Amber. You were stuck doing two RB's. You rocked the limbo one, didn't you? You were both calm throughout and that's admirable. Tell me, though, do you understand now what the other teams felt when you boarded that plane - the one that was held for you? Here, have a free wedding for a consolation prize.

Ron adn Kelly: My oh my. This "Amazing Race" we do here involves these "team" things you may have heard of. The idea is that a group of people (2 people, in our specific case) work together in order to achieve a common goal. At the risk of encouraging you both to continue living in your pasts, I'd like to point out that Ron's life experiences have led him to do this team goal-achievement, whereas Kelly's life experiences have trained her to beat down anyone in her path to get the crown, which she would then share with no-one. Maybe you're not so compatible. Just sayin'.

I'd just like to take a moment to thank everyone who played our little Be the Amazing Racer game this season. Our regular players were:

Rob - seahorse
Amber - CwazyWabbit

Ron - ScubaSteve
Kelly - MissMyth

Lynn - Cygnus X1
Alex - Cygnus X1

Susan - TriGirl

Ray - warp_core breach
Deana - warp_core breach

Uchenna - cahaya
Joyce - LibraRising

Debbie - ARnutz
Bianca - ARnutz

Gretchen - kvasir

Also, thanks to BriarRosie, Draco Malfoy, Snidget, mikey and dragonflies for posting as non-characters.

You guys made this fun. See you for Season 8!

As always, anyone may post as a non-character (like U/J's cabbie), or as a character who was not claimed. Previously eliminated players are welcome to post their parting shots, too!

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"Yeh Mon!!!"
Posted by ARnutz on 05-11-05 at 11:44 AM
During the 12 hour pitstop, the teams get to eat, rest and mingle. Here are a few Jamaican sayings I taught them during their break:


Rob & Amber (when leaving the pitstop) ~ JA: But wait, no Robot naw run tidey!

USA: I am waiting for a taxi and it's taking so long.


Ron (to Kelly) ~ JA: Massi Gad, pickney yuh face bumpy-bumpy an fayva grayta eeh?

USA: Girl, your acne is terrible.


Kelly (about me, the greeter) ~ JA: Im noh have noh broughtupsy! an Him smell green.

USA: He has no manners and he has perspiration odor.


Uchenna & Joyce (after having their luggage taken) ~ JA: Aye buff teet bwoy, tap fling up-fling up mi bag dem suh man.

USA: Sir, please don't throw my luggage like that.


.
,
.
.

"Dred"-fully,

~ The Jamaican Rastaman Mat Greeter

"RE: Yeh Mon!!!"
Posted by cahaya on 05-11-05 at 02:01 PM
Mon, we zuh won, rawb de Rawb!


USA: (Ask Phil, who is fluent in this dialect by now)

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by seahorse on 05-11-05 at 01:49 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-11-05 AT 01:53 PM (EST)

We was rawbed. No question about it.


"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by cahaya on 05-11-05 at 02:05 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-11-05 AT 02:11 PM (EST)

Well, Rawb, gotta hand it to ya two. Fine race, right up the finish there. We finally pulled one of your tactics to get on that flight, and then get "local help" with our Spanish speaking taxi driver to find the cigar shop waaaay before you did.


Wanna cigar, dude?

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by BriarRosie on 05-11-05 at 07:35 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-11-05 AT 11:57 PM (EST)

::reads list of instructions::

1. Pick up Uchenna and Joyce at the Miami airport. (See attached photos)

2. Wait for them after the first clue.

3. Ask them if they speak Spanish. (Keep it casual, so they don't know you're giving them a hint about the cigar shop.)

4. Drive them to the finish line, but make sure U/J pay the fare to the preset minimum limit.

---Miami cab driver


My tip sucked.

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by LibraRising on 05-11-05 at 02:35 PM
Awwww...c'mon, Rob. I can understand if Amber's upset, but you? You should be used to not coming in first on reality shows by now.


A worthy opponent were you.

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by KLinDC on 05-11-05 at 03:12 PM
>Awwww...c'mon, Rob. I can understand if
>Amber's upset, but you? You
>should be used to not
>coming in first on reality
>shows by now.

LOL!

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by seahorse on 05-11-05 at 03:42 PM
Actually the millions CBS is giving us for televisng our wedding more than makes up for what they did to us by trying to make the finish close.

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by cahaya on 05-11-05 at 02:10 PM
Thank you, Phil! Wow! We're so happy!

And about my Joyce... I'm so proud to be her husband. She is a true team player, with a heart of gold.


Er, umm, Phil, *ahem* Can we have our packs and our money back?

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by LibraRising on 05-11-05 at 02:33 PM
And now I'm going to get some jewelry of gold to match my heart.

Oh, and I know my darling Uchenna promised a lot of you (Phil, Gretchen, Meredith) that we'd be naming our children after you. Well, um, let me explain. It's kind of like that company that will name a star after you. We'll send you a little slip of paper bearing the honor, but the child's name will really be something else. But really -- the honor is there.

I love you all! Even you, Rob.


Thanks, Seana...it was loads of fun!

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by cahaya on 05-11-05 at 03:04 PM
Can't argue with this lady. The honor is hers.


Thanks to you too Libra!

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by cahaya on 05-11-05 at 02:18 PM
I'd just like to take a moment to thank everyone who played our little Be the Amazing Racer game this season.

And thank you, Seana! You'd make a great TAR host! (Hey, you already are!)


It was a genuine pleasure and honor to roleplay Uchenna, a man of integrity, persistence and compassion.

"*smooches*"
Posted by ARnutz on 05-11-05 at 02:59 PM
Hey everyone! Debbie & I had a wonderful vacation in sequesterville! We got to work on our tans and hang out with the other racers! We can't complain, we did win a bunch of money on that first leg!

~ Bianca


Hey Bianca, should we tell them we finally got Romber back? Yeah, I think we should! It's all over now and we can let the secret out!

Remember when we stopped for directions and they stole our cab from out in front of the hotel? Well, we were finally able to return the favor!

Yep, that's right!

We stole their cab in Little Havana!!!


*insert evil laugh here*

We were able to do so because Bianca speaks fluent Spanish and she convinced the driver to take us to the final mat so we could greet the winners!

~ Debbie

"RE: *smooches*"
Posted by LibraRising on 05-11-05 at 03:10 PM
Bianca speaks fluent Spanish and she convinced the driver to take us to the final mat so we could greet the winners!

You might want to brush up on your Spanish, muchacha, 'cause that's not exactly what you said. You didn't show up at the Ft. Lauderdale Howard Johnson's like you promised as "payment."

~the phantom cabbie

"RE: *smooches*"
Posted by ARnutz on 05-12-05 at 10:02 AM
¡Ah bebé! ¿Usted quiere que mí suba y le ve? ¡Podemos tener un tiempo fabuloso, si usted sabe lo que significo!


Translation: Oh baby! You want me to come up and see you? We can have a fabulous time, if you know what I mean!

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 05-11-05 at 04:46 PM
(gasping for breath) Alex and I? Could not be happier! (Unless, of course, we had won.)

What a delightful couple, Uchenna and Joyce. And her hair looks so nice! Alex, you ought to try that look sometime!

To Rob and Amberexia, we have but two words: Ha ha!

Now back to dancing, after which we work on that TV show deal! Let's do that Argentina river stroke again! One and two and . . .


Nice golf clap for Romber, BTW.

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by seahorse on 05-11-05 at 06:59 PM
We're multi-millionaires. Your 15 minutes of fame is up.


"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 05-11-05 at 11:20 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-11-05 AT 11:26 PM (EST)

Excuse me? Not quite. We've got a wedding of our own to worry about.


Hello, CBS? Who needs you?
ETF link

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by seahorse on 05-11-05 at 11:42 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-11-05 AT 11:43 PM (EST)

Like I said your 15 minutes is up. Have fun at your Hot 89.9's Morning Hot Tub non-legal wedding.


"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by LibraRising on 05-12-05 at 02:06 PM
Ahem. And why wasn't I invited? Don't you need a matron of honor? I love being in gay wedding parties, because they never pick out those awful bridesmaid dresses.


*sniffle* We were allies, after all.

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 05-12-05 at 03:49 PM
Ixnay on the itationinvay istlay, otay?


You? Are so there. We'll make the end scene of "Rocky Horror" look like a stuffy rehearsal dinner.

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 05-12-05 at 04:06 PM
But sweetie, I've never seen "Rocky Horror" . . .


Are Boris and Natasha in it?

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by BriarRosie on 05-11-05 at 07:32 PM
So, two people without luggage want to board the plane after the flight is closed?

SURE! Why not! Lemme just call the pilot.

::calls the pilot, whispers:: "The team we held the plane for just arrived. I'm trying to make it look like we'd leave without them! I'll contact the ground crew to reconnect the jetway."


--- San Juan gate agent, American Airlines


The fix was in!

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by seahorse on 05-11-05 at 07:44 PM
Can I get that in writing.


"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by CwazyWabbit on 05-11-05 at 08:20 PM
Come on, Hun! You know this was part of our agreement with CBS. We get all of the prizes, but don't win the million. Let Uchenna and Joyce have their little ol' one mill. We've got atleast 2 just for getting married on TV! So stop messing with the little people now, okay?

.....wait, did I just say that outloud?...okay, let's try this again, for the LAST time (now that we are married)....

Hun, you are the best. I am behind you all the way. You are always right. We will always do things your way.



What do you need that extra mill for? You have ME!

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by Scuba Steve on 05-16-05 at 01:36 PM
Good job. Now here's your money.

-Jerry Bruckheimer, TAR Executive Producer

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by Seana on 05-11-05 at 08:02 PM
I spent all this time fixing it so Rob and Amber would win all the trips and Rob just taunted me about stealing my job. So I think, hey, Uchenna and Joyce are nice people, and they said they'd name their kid after me and all. So I called ahead to have a plane held.

And now, what do I see? Joyce tells me there will be no "Phil Agu"?? Some piece of paper is supposed to cut it? That's it! No-one gets any more favours outta me! No sirree bob! You can all just win or lose on your own merit. I don't get no respect.


Thanks for the kind words, peeps!

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by warp_core breach on 05-11-05 at 08:55 PM
Well, I'm just glad it wasn't the oldsters! Not that they kicked our a$$ or anything like that and managed to survive and come in as team # 4... but they never won no prize!!

What can I say, I have respect for a team who is (almost) up to my high, physical standard. Uchenna's pretty buff and Joyce can sure kick! Congrats! Rob, you're too plump. Amberexia, well... Spend about 90 hours in the gym and then you'll be ready to compete! Just goes to show that you don't have to be wiley and smart in this game. You just have to be like me.

I hate old people. Romber sucks.

Seana, you did a great job! You're funny! Everyone was funny here! I had a great time and I'm looking forward to next season!

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by MissMyth on 05-12-05 at 01:26 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-12-05 AT 01:28 PM (EST)

This was just a terrible experience. It's not supposed to beee this way. You're supposed to play dress-up with Barbies, until you become the Barbie, then you win all the pageants, then you become Miss South Carolina, then you meet "THE one", and marry and have pretty kids to play dress-up with. And I just knew Ron was "THE one" because he took me out more than once, and he was supposed to propose at the end of the show while everyone cheered us for winning and Phil looked on like a kindly uncle.
We weren't supposed to lose all our stuff and make me go out in public without my make-up and borrow lipstick from total strangers and then LOSE the freakin' race!

And Ron's just mean, and all of you are just mean, and Phil's just mean and I want the whole Travelocity trip for myself so I can go far away from all the mean people.

From Kelly:

And Evil Kelly: (what do you mean, redundant???)

Thanks Seana, for hosting the game, and for letting me play.

"Speaking of Kelly and Evil Kelly..."
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 05-12-05 at 04:00 PM
(stepping out of character, but it fits MM's post)

If you haven't seen it yet, check out the final "Photo Finish" contest on CBS' TAR site.


I think both Kellys can be proud. And thanks, Seana!

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by Scuba Steve on 05-16-05 at 01:44 PM
Y'all should be thanking me. If I hadn't turned the wrong way in San Juan, we would have won and then there be hundreds of threads about why Ron/Kelly shouldn't have won. I deserve some money for that.

Out of character: Thanks for hosting Be The Amazing Racer, Seana

"RE: Finale Episode: Be the Amazing Racer"
Posted by mikey on 05-16-05 at 04:29 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-16-05 AT 04:29 PM (EST)

Every season it seems some down on their luck 40-something African-American couple from Texas wins TAR. Let's try to even the playing field to give the rest of us a chance.

-- Young, white alpha male TAR teams