There’s no way I’m going to explain which points were gotten for what but this is it for LL11.
3rd: Dakota~~987 (you faded but I’m thinking you were off with the Guppy last weekend and thanks for hosting duties this season)
4th: Kingfish~~972 (closely behind Dakota (don’t stop too quickly Dak) as usual….)
7th: Wallflower~~817 (I promise you can have all the candy and cookies)heh heh heh
8th: Sir Tribe~~813 (I hope we didn’t wreck the Lodge too much this season, you sure left some big shoes to fill)
I'm having an aha! moment!
There is too much work put into the superlative awards show in order for it to suffer the lag of visits due to the end of the season. Previously, I tried dragging it out but that never worked. A few people show up early and ask "Where is it?" but the bulk come back nearer to the premiere of the new season. Weeks after the Gala Awards Show had been posted.My new-age thinking is... ending it early.
I mean, the only real reason for the last show is to present who is the Winner, right?
Well... we're losers. Why should we care who wins this stupid show? We forget who most of them are after a few days anyways.
But the losers live in our brains for eternity.
My thinking is to have the official entry ending a week before the finale. Thereby the results (and full G.A.S. explosure) being presented while all the rest of the games are asking for their last entries.
Of course, without a Loser Lodge Panel of Desperately Distinguished Losers there is no real way to propose, second, call to a vote and enact such a change in format.
Alas, perhaps it's all sour-grapes over my Pick-up-artist superlative...all that picking up and not a single thong to take with me. *sniff*le*
And what's with the jab at my Big Shoes?
I mean sheesh... after all, you know what they say, right? Big shoes big...*ermmpffloppttthud*
It's nice but it doesn't substitute for a nice shiny thing to place upon my mantle.
Anyhoos...Thanks a billion (in credit card debt) Gupsterino and the sockpuppet. I've made imaginary crowns for both of you to wear for the next month or so. Inscribed on each, "For performances worthy of Nepharious Loserdom...-tribe". Without you I wouldn't have debt, but I also wouldn't have had as much phun. I needed the lodge to go on and I'm ever so thankful for that.
As far as next season. There are no real hard promises just yet, but within the next couple of weeks I should be clearer as to my hopeful return (even if in fits and starts) to the hosting reigns.
For now, To all my fellow failing ones, a huge hug for the holidays and a slightly naughty smooch for the new year!
LAST EDITED ON 12-31-09 AT 02:24 PM (EST)OK.
Guilty.
Remind me next time that lying and finger pointing isn’t a very good blame deflector.
But I did it. What was my tell?
The crime? No, not the Blue Carbuncle, that was a Red Herring Study in Scarlett in Baskerville. Tribe is entitled to keep that carbuncle, he earned it, it's blue, and it’s his. Some of you might ask him the favor of a loan, but I’m guessing he’s keeping it in a safe place. Not his regular safe, but his back-up safe place, IYNWIM. And he paid for it with that credit card.
Dakota tried her best to steal stuff and do dastardly acts, but since we applaud dastardly deeds and since her crimes were so cute, we forgave. We admit to being partial to French Maids, and advocate the position that as long as they are under (heh heh) the law, that there is no crime, none at all, not here, not there, not anywhere. Move along, folks.
Salmonella Sally (aka June bug)? The alcohol killed the bugs, so while the intent to murder and maim was there, there was no harm thus no foul. (Please note, neither were there any fowl harmed in the shooting of this movie. That we knew of. That we will admit to. That we didn’t immediately consume)
Wallflower? Yeah, she was secretive, took little notes, and looked all spy-ey and stuff. But since she tells all her secrets when she drinks, and since she’s always drinking, well, everyone knows she was just working Sudokos and has an eye-tic. We also have the nude photos she took of everyone, they are on display in the slide peep show room located off the main lobby (just follow the well worn path that Moley makes between that room and the bar).
Speaking of the Mole…eh, let’s not. (Just kidding Moley old buddy, got any more of those special $20s? Ignoring the fact that the Treasury Department doesn’t give a fig about our currency peccadilloes, we might have to turn you in if we can’t pay our bar tab. Thanks.) No crime here.
Suzzee? Do we think our trusty score keeper and accountant could have cooked the books and stolen all our hard won Band candy money as well as the proceeds from our bake sales and Girl Scout pimping cookies? She could have. Hands down, no doubt about it can’t get much surer than that, she could have. If we had any money at all, she would have absconded with it all. As it is, well, better luck next year picking less of a loserly crime than that, Suz. But we love you anyway.
Bystander tried to make off with the beer. His “perfect” plan was to drink it all, go over to another less Loserly Lodge, regurgitate it, and sell it as warm English Porter ale. That was such a silly idea that it wasn’t low larceny so much as it was high comedy, and kept us in stitches for a week. So we owe him for that entertainment. Thank-yew! Have a Porter on me, I have an import deal with a Lesser Loserly Lodge.
Did someone from the Less Loserly Lodge do something criminal? How would we know, Quien es mas Loserly than us? They could sell us fake Blue Carbuncles and we’d never know. (oops…I say, Tribe old bean…oh well, nevermind).
Survivor Maniac? Is she responsible for our stay in the Gulag all those months ago? I’m going to blame her for that, … for our fun is what! Those romantic strolls through the exercise yard, those private moments in solitary confinement, not to mention all that gourmet slop…how can we thank you?
Kermie? Did her tail conceal naughty secrets. I don’t know (darn you to heck, Moleman!), but I fervently hope so. And if there are secrets concealed in that bushy appendage, …well, I need to stop right here… and thank goodness for my boxers and loose fitting swimsuit. Oh my.
CTGirl? We all know she’s guilty of something. I think she lost the snorkel in the bar and let the chickens boil too long. She however managed to place the blame on the ever Shambolicious one. Good job there.
Agdude? Yes, he was sorta right. It was I. I left those toilet seats up (I have a compulsion to sit in toilet water, and I figured you all would enjoy it too), and it was I who persuaded Bystander that the drinking/regurgitation scheme was not totally insane. Ag-dude came close, and if he had bothered to watch something other than that bouncy bouncy boobage on the volleyball court, he might have nailed me for my real crime, the one I’m most proud of… I stole the TV remote and hid it in my bungalow, and I am guilty of making all of us watch reruns of Janice on “I'm a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here” and Joan Rivers win “Celebrity Apprentice”. I know, I should be shot, hung, and dipped in sheep s**t. Oh, well, I forgive myself. Now, don’t we all feel better?
There. I know I do, anyway. Besides, I need new batteries…
Speaking of…this season was kind of mishmash, we had to learn to go it without Tribe, our nepharious though esteemed leader, who was on sabbatical. We had to learn that coming up with hilarity, contests, and mind-altering drugs week after week is hard when sober, and dam near impossible when not. So, although Tribe went from beloved leader to Co-loser and besotted drunk and did unmentionable things to his monkey, we had to carry on. Suzzee was courageous and actually (once) passed on her shot of Tequila when time came to put the contest together, so please, all of us, a standing round of applause for the Suz-meister.
If Tribe gets back from his Knighting ceremonies in England (hey, he said a Queen was going to tap him on the head) and decides to get back in those clown boots, maybe the Lodge can ascend to its previous heights of depths of loserliness. If not we’ll have to plod on again.
Hopefully we can be more focused next season. We really need help. Emy shone last season, and Suzzee was brilliant this season and and worked very hard, but they are just one person (one person each, not the same person, but two different people that are each one person, so, well, anyway...), but overall our organization is wobbly at best. So, if you want Suz (and CT and Dakota and the Bug, et al) to take on this Lodge and all the included losers next year (if Tribe is still pulling the old “Sabbatical” con), you better give them a lot of compliments now. I’ll help as I can, but I have a work related transition (voluntary and desired company relocation) going on, and time will tell how much time I will have.
In any case, there is much wisdom in Tribe’s thoughts concerning the season ending Gala, but still, it was usually a marvelous success, wasn’t it? And when it wasn’t, weren't we just successfully demonstrating our Loser Lodge motto, “Under-Perform, Over-Indulge, and Go-Naked” (that’s how I remember it, anyway)?
Thank you all for putting up with me, and Damit Agdude, where are those Sigs? (pay no attention folks, we kid each other like that all the time).
Tribal art.