So many mixed messages. Allison carries a basket on her head all day and Iyanla says "why didn't you put that down, you could have chosen at any time do so, but you kept carrying around that baggage" and goes on to analyze the reasons why Allison chose to carry the damn basket on her head, then she tells Jill, "who told you to put your bags down, you can't just decide like that without your coaches permission to put your bags down"..and we got her telling Jill the compelete opposite.

• RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,Labyrinth, 10:29 PM, 10-18-05
  • RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,GunsAndRoses, 10:35 PM, 10-18-05
    • RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,karenlucyian, 11:10 PM, 10-18-05
  • RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,jazzyevents, 11:59 AM, 10-19-05
• RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,Busybee, 02:53 AM, 10-19-05
  • RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,atzd, 08:43 AM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,mylifeisunfolding, 09:52 AM, 10-19-05
      • RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,karenlucyian, 10:00 AM, 10-19-05
      • RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,Cleverone, 00:39 AM, 10-20-05
      • RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,blonde one, 11:34 AM, 10-20-05
• RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,jjp_smiley, 11:20 AM, 10-19-05
  • RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,mylifeisunfolding, 12:12 PM, 10-19-05
    • RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,Labyrinth, 11:07 PM, 10-19-05
  • RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,sdmsw, 10:57 PM, 10-19-05
• RE: Iyanla Make Up Your Mind--Jill Pick Up Your Bags, Allison Put Down Your Baskets..Mixed Messages!,robyyyyn, 06:51 PM, 10-20-05

GunR I see where your coming from but think maybe the resolution differed because Allison and Jill have different motivations.

I think Allison would have kept those baskets no matter what because she wants to punish herself by serving others - in this instance she would do exactly what IV told her to do and never deviate. Like when IV destroyed her schedule board, Allison did not get mad but just looked puzzled and confused and then starts putting it all back together again.

Allison is missing the point that she doesn't have to DO it!

Jill though just got tired of lugging it around and wasn't going to do it anymore because she was tired of it. IV said, and I guess I have to agree with her on this one, that Jill makes excuses to get out of what she is supposed to do.

I see your point. I just thought Jill was so funny today when she dumped her bags in the trash. I was thinking, damn she's going to have hell to pay when Iyanla shows up today. It was a good lesson that Jill learned today. And you're right that it's not sinking in for Allison. With that said, I still think that Allison was afraid to take the damn basket off her head because she feared Iyanla's wrath and so she was more focused on OBEYING Iyanla instead of thinking for herself as Jill did today when she kicked her baggage to the curb

I totally get where IV is coming from. Allison needs to learn to do things out of wanting to and not having to in order to be validated. Allison also better get with the program of doing for herself because let's face it, she doesn't have anyone to do it for her. She must get proactive about her health and well being. Jill on the other hand only does things if she absolutely has to, she will avoid things out of laziness. She put those bags down because it was physically exhausting and she was too lazy to carry it through to completion. She gave up. IV is not being a flip flopper, she see's these women right where they live and is trying to get them where they need to go. I love this show, it is keeping me honest in my own life!

Labyrinth ,

I coulnd not agree more, you said what I would have said.

I think everyone has a point, but...did you ever wonder if the HG's tell each other how their assignments turned out? For example, maybe Allison told Jill about how IV told her to put her baskets down and that she could have done that at any time because she really couldn't balance them all. Maybe Jill remembered that and that's why she but her bags down, cuz she figured that if she couldn't carry them all, then she could CHOOSE to put them down like Allison could have chosen to do. One thing Jill kept saying is that she didn't understand what the assignment was for. So, maybe because she was confused, she figured that she could just do like Allison did. Could be something different, she could have just been lazy. Just thought I would give a different perspective on it...

LAST EDITED ON 10-19-05 AT 08:44 AM (EST)

I agree with busybee, I'm sure the hg's know how each other's assignments turn out. As a side note, I think it's mean of Iyanla to make Jill carry all that around. I like the idea behind it, but 2-3 bags would have done it. Physically it must be completely draining to carry all that. That leaves no energy for emotions.

And that I think is exactly WHY she wants Jill to carry them around to see how PHYSICALLY and EMOTIONALLY draining carrying her STUFF around with her is. She is showing her in a physical illustration by carrying garbage what she is doing to herself internally. When you are under an emotional cloud of pain when you start the process to get out from there is a TON of confusion because you are so used to acting and responding a different way. For all of the SO ladies they will have to LEARN a new way of thinking, responding, doing, feeling about themselves and ultimately BEING. It doesn't matter what a person is learning as you begin the process you feel CONFUSED. Once you understand it the confusion clears.

Well said mylifeisunfolding! I think that Jill must take some ownership of her throwing her weight and her baggage around and leaving it on other people and leaving it in the wrong places. She needs to get present with the life she wants instead of just moping through the life she puts up with. Carrying those bags hopefully will exhaust her and get her into action which is where IV wants her.

>And that I think is exactly
>WHY she wants Jill to
>carry them around to see
>how PHYSICALLY and EMOTIONALLY draining
>carrying her STUFF around with
>her is. She is showing
>her in a physical illustration
>by carrying garbage what she
>is doing to herself internally.
>When you are under an
>emotional cloud of pain when
>you start the process to
>get out from there is
>a TON of confusion because
>you are so used to
>acting and responding a different
>way. For all of the
>SO ladies they will have
>to LEARN a new way
>of thinking, responding, doing, feeling
>about themselves and ultimately BEING.
>It doesn't matter what a
>person is learning as you
>begin the process you feel
>CONFUSED. Once you understand it
>the confusion clears.

I sooooo agree with you...Mylifeisunfolding.

****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
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Jill lied about why she put the bags in the trash. I wonder if she had told Iyanla I didnt want to carry them around because Iam lazy would have worked? It would have been the truth huh?

Jill manipulates. Ally is a pleaser. Also she was supposed to ask for help when she couldnt manage on her own, another of Allisons problem areas. ALLY ASK!
I also wonder if due to her surgeries they did not want to continue with it long? ( the exercise with the baskets)

Not sure if anyone noticed, but when Iyanla gave Allison the assignment she said that the "self" basket was the most important and could never be put down. She did not say that about the others. Basically she was trying to get Allison to realize that Self was #1 and that the others could be put down for a while. Allison didn't do that, so she was trying her best to balance all three in her life, like she realistically does.

Jill was told to take it everywhere with her, like she does with all her life baggage. Iyanla is trying to show Jill what kind of person she is based on this baggage.

They are two totally different assignments and were given different rules.

Ditto jjp_smiley

The interesting thing I find with Allison is that she is a "so-called" graduate from the last season and it's apparent she hasn't yet learned or integrated many of the lessons from before. She better than anyone else there right now knows the ropes and the way Iyanla operates. It shows her issues were really MAJOR before the cancer and also that SO or even therapy for that matter is a quick fix. It can takes years in some cases to clean out old patterns and self hatred whatever the original cause.
I am struggling with many things myself and at times I don't want to do the work or look at the pain. You just want a quick fix and wave a magic wand and it all goes away. Unfortunately or fortunately (depends on how you want to look at it) it just doesn't work like that.

I had the feeling that last year for Allison was concentrating on dealing with the cancer and the possiblity it might return. Now that the cancer is not of overwhelming concern, this season seems to be focusing on habits she has learned over time.

I still think a lot of Allison's issues of enabling and not doing for her self involve her mother. Do you remember how Allison said last season she has to look after her mother and her brother? (she wrote letters to them about how she had to let go of caring for them and concentrate on her own survival).

Perhaps this will be explored more later.

two different assignments with two sets of rules - I totally agree with smiley. There's no double standard here.

haha.............you are so right! great post!