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"Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 18"
Posted by sharnina on 06-13-06 at 02:59 PM
LAST EDITED ON 06-13-06 AT 03:02 PM (EST)

Edited to apologize for the wrong week!

Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 19

Looks like plans for the talent show are well underway. But for the love of all that is holy, PLEASE don't put Christie in charge again!

This oughta be good. I hope it's enough to get the show renewed for the fall...

Nah - who needs it.


Have I ever had a "conference" with Iyanla? Hmmm... *sends memo to assistant*

ADMINISTRIVIA:

You need not just follow my lead here. You can take this in any show-related direction you wish.

Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters.

If you want to join in as a RECURRING character, please sign up in the signup thread before posting. That's where you'll find your sigs also (although, if you're replacing someone, it may be in the old signup thread).

Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play.

Currently claimed roles are: Jon Murray, Dr. Stan, Iyanla, Rhonda, Andy (and her mom, and her left brow), Antonia, Jodi, Kelly and her bathroom, Niambi, Poetri, Dr. VantToLookJung, Lanre, the Garden Buddha, the RoseBush, the Front Door, the Dining Room Table, Bead Store Owner, "Mr. Situation," the CameraMan.

Here is the link to the new thread containing some of the old sigs. Old Sigs

New characters, or resurrected old ones, welcome!

Do NOT post as a character that's been claimed. Thanks.

You can post as ad hoc, one-time characters WITHOUT signing up.


If you intend to reuse your character, please do sign up . . . thanks!

And HAVE FUN!

Non-players: THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION THREAD.
*Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters.


E-mail or PM me with any problems.

Based on various other "Be The . . ." games, created by (all hail) Angelfood.

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 18"
Posted by BlowingOver on 06-13-06 at 04:13 PM
I nominate Richard Simmons as co-producer/director.

He's the only one who can pull it all together.

Sparkle! Verve!

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 18"
Posted by kircon on 06-15-06 at 04:54 AM
Dr Stan, why would you nominate that Richie guy? I'm the one with sparkle. *blows smoke rings* I have verve & elan. That other guy has too many other jobs going on. I would devote my entire attention *cough* *cough* this job.

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 18"
Posted by BlowingOver on 06-15-06 at 10:27 AM
:hangs up phone:

Maureen! Maureen! The producers are delighted.

How could we have forgotten you? With a sparkly sequined tank top, stripey shorts and a big wig you look exactly like Richard!

The usual fee: a case of Marlboro's and a new U-Haul wardrobe box?

"Hey Dr Stan!"
Posted by kircon on 06-16-06 at 04:35 AM
I will not be wearing that Richie's clothes.....*lights a cig* *inhales* *blows smoke at Dr Stan*

And by the way, my fee has raised. A case of Marlboro's each day, and for my lodging, that big bathroom looks mighty good. *cough* *inhale* *holds breath and stares at Dr Stan*

Deal or No Deal?

"RE: Hey Dr Stan!"
Posted by BlowingOver on 06-16-06 at 05:11 PM
::loses bearings in vast cloud of smoke::

::falls in pool::

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 19"
Posted by alaholly on 06-13-06 at 04:35 PM
"No Mr. Jon. I am in chahge heyah, not Christie. I am the grown a$$ executive in chahge! Don't ya rememba my FANtastic Poetry Slam? It was aMAZin' and soooo many people came...at least 12 or 13. And we made some HUGE cash! I bet we get even more for the talent show. And I did it all by my grown a$$ self!"

"I am lovin' Mama I's special song...not sure how Rhonda feels about it though. Maybe we could get her to drink some of Christie's Special Happy Punch. She gets a lot nicer and easier to work with after that. And I better return Richard's phone calls and see how Dr. Stan's performance is shapin' up. I sure hope the rest of the girls are practicin' their acts."

"Let's see now...I also need to check in with Jill. I can't seem to get the budget to balance out.

<Sweeps piles of cupcake wrappers off the desk into the trash can>

"Hmmmmmmm."

<Hears Cassie walking down the hallway singing "Good morning, GOOD MORNING!">

"NOOOOOOOO!!! BLEEPIN' BLEEP!"

<Runs and hides in the newly returned bathroom. Locks the door and looks for Kim's secret beverage supply. Pours herself a tall one. Takes a long sip, puts all the towels in the dry tub and climbs in for a nap."

"I love bein' a grown a$$ executive. ZZZZZZZzzzzzz."


Dreamin' of dollar signs...

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 19"
Posted by snowflake2 on 06-13-06 at 05:14 PM
LAST EDITED ON 06-13-06 AT 05:16 PM (EST)

For the love of Christmas, girl, don't be botherin' me about no budget right now...errrrp...I don't feel so good. I didn't know that cupcake TJ gave me was plastic...I ate that danged thing! Didn't taste half bad...

Uhhhhhh, you know, don't get me wrong, not as good as the cupcakes I eat from Sprinkles, French's Bakery, the Frosted Cupcakery, Olde Dessert Shoppe, the Buttercup Bake Shop, Cupcake Royale (LOVE their slogan: Legalize Frostitution!), Kara's Cupcakes, The Magnolia Bakery, The Pink Cupcake Bakery, Cake Fetish, Sugarland Bakery, The Cake Factory, Bon-Bon Bakery, Cupcakes and Co, The Cupcake Connection, Babycakes, The Cupcake Cafe, Bakes N' Cakes, Sweethearts, Bluebird Bakery, Batterworks, Citizen Cake, The Creative Cakery, Sugarbaby's, Kelly's Kupcakes, Fluffy's, Cake It On!, Buttercream's Bakery, or Sugar Plum Fairy's, but still, not half bad. EEERRRP!!


(Edited to add sig)


"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 19"
Posted by Anne18 on 06-13-06 at 06:29 PM
Jill,

Did you hear me when I said that the chocolate cupcake was FAKE?? I said it to you and explained that you could only talk to it and look at it but NOT eat it! Sigh... How many times do I have to say something for people to hear me??


Like I said...the ONLY normal one in the SO house!

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 19"
Posted by kircon on 06-15-06 at 04:58 AM
Hey Jill, Don't listen to that normal blond, just remember that a balanced diet is cupcakes in both hands.

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 19"
Posted by SeasonedRefinement on 06-13-06 at 05:16 PM
MEMO

To: Rhonda

From: Iyanla

Re.: Our Duet

I liked your idea, Rhonda -- I liked it so much that I took it over and changed it all! But I made it so much better!

I had my assistant dig up the lyrics to "Sisters". I'm guessin' that this was the number you had in mind. I've made this sooooooooo easy for ya, sweetie. I just updated the lyrics and made them SO centered. You'll see the original, and underneath it, you'll see my new and improved Iyanlalyrics, verse by verse. I have to say, I'm just not feelin' the rhythm of this thing - the tempo is just a little too spastic. That probably won't matter to you since you may not have any sense of musicality or rhythm.

Let me know if you can learn the new version in time for the show -- if you can't, I'll do a solo. I really don't want you to mess this up for me.

Original:
{Both:} Sisters, sisters,
There were never such devoted sisters.
Never had to have a chaperone, no sir.
{Sister #1} I'm here to keep my eye on her.

New & Improved Iyanlaversion:
{Both} Sistahs, sistahs,
Iyanla is the most important sistah.
Never bought that Fearless Living crap, no sir.
{Iyanla:} I'm here to keep my eye on her.


Original:
{Both:} Caring, sharing,
every little thing that we are wearing.
When a certain gentleman arrived from Rome,
{Sister #2:} she wore the dress and I stayed home.

New & Improved Iyanlaversion:
{Both:}Glaring, staring,
hate her guts, but don't we act so caring?
Rhonda took that Emmy trophy as her own,
{Iyanla} she wore the dress and I stayed home.


Original:
{Both:} All kinds of weather, we stick together,
the same in the rain or sun.
Two different faces, but in tight places
we think and we act as one. Uh-huh!

New & Improved Iyanlaversion:
{Both:} All kinds of weather, we stick together,
notice that we didn't run,
with those tired faces, in 5K races,
we don't even know who won. Ha-Ha!

Original:
Those who've seen us
know that not a thing can come between us.
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can.
Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister,
and Lord help the sister that comes between me and my man.

New & Improved Iyanlaversion:
Those who've seen us
know that lots of stuff has come between us.
Lots of people tried to save our show, but no one can.
Lord help the mistah who comes between me and my sistah,
unless that sly sistah, has paired up with dear Dr. Stan!


Phone Message left for Richard Simmons:

{beeeeep} Yes Dicky, this is Iyanla! Listen, I think I might know where your hot-pants and T-tops have gone. Go to eBay, and search "dog clothing". One of our former guests has gone into canine fashion design. I think she needed some new fabric, and she doesn't like to buy things in the conventional way - I mean she doesn't like the complications of paying for her purchases. Get my meaning? You may want to e-mail her quickly, before she cuts up your ensembles and decorates them with "ombres" of blue rhinestones.

Um....are you up for a game of Twistah???


Phone Message left for Jill:

{Ring, ring, ring} "I'm sorry, the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected or is temporarily out of service. Please check the number and dial again, or dial your operator for further assistance."

{Iyanla mumbling to self} Damn, Jill! Pay your phone bill! How am I gonna let you know that Bunim/Murray is not paying for the "talent's" 10,000 mile oil change on your scooter!!!


"Costumes"
Posted by alaholly on 06-14-06 at 00:32 AM
"Listen up Jill, Jodi, Christie, and Richard. I think we may have enough of this Big Bolt Spandex to cover your giant butts make your costumes. If we stretch it reeeeaaal tight we can get those costumes extra snug and prevent the chairs in the front row from shakin' during your openin' numba. Mr. Jon said we need to prevent further injuries from the floor shakin' durin' dance numbers. Okay girls?"

"Also I need somebody to pass out earplugs right before Cassie's openin' song. How about Niambi? She's fast. We gotta really hustle 'cuz the insurance company won't pay for any more accidents resultin' from stampedes toward the exits. The guy from the Poetry Slam is still recovering. He was run over by everyone escapin' exitin' aftah the show."

<Antonia is momentarily distracted by the sight of Dr. Stan outside practicing his solo street dance down by the pool. He is working up a sweat and is wearing one of Richard's sequined tank tops>

"No Lisa. Rhonda said you can't wear a bikini...she may be wearin' one with her tiara. And anybody know what Mama I is wearin'? We got a little Spandex left ovah. Anybody else got their costume ready???"


That's A LOT of spandex...

"RE: Costumes"
Posted by Anne18 on 06-14-06 at 01:22 AM
Yes! Antonia, over here! Hi! (Cassie stands up.)

TJ and I went shopping for costumes yesterday - the chocolate fudge ice cream sundae was great by the way - and we bought our costume for our duet. I can't tell you what they are but it's not spandex or glitter. No way!

"Calling Dr. Vant...emergency!"
Posted by alaholly on 06-14-06 at 03:25 PM
"Okay Dr. Vant, old buddy, could ya make me a mask out of this Spandex he-yah for my *er* friend Cassie? Please???? Ya know the kind that completely covahs the whole face? Yeah, yeah, that's good. Leave some eye holes and maybe a nose hole to breathe but covah that mouth would ya??? Thanks a ton there Doc. I'll put in a good word for ya with Rhonda."


Somebody HELP me!

"RE: Calling Dr. Vant...emergency!"
Posted by mbinkc on 06-14-06 at 10:12 PM
Hellllooo again Ladieeeesss!!
Now who is this Cassie girl?? Can someone get rid of tell her that her son needs her, I mean that she has no talent errr...she's a lovely girl?
Hellloooo LARD BUTT Iyanla!! Don't have time for you ever for a game of Twister. I'm too busy looking for my work out gear. BTW, thanks for the info about them disappearing. I'm still trying to figure out who you might be talking about.
Antonia, you are a little b!tchy headstrong, aren't you? I don't want to step on any toes (except maybe my darling Dr. Stanley's), so I am not going to try to "run" the show. I will, however, be the star of the show. You wait and see.

"Oh, Richie...."
Posted by catmama on 06-14-06 at 11:36 PM
LAST EDITED ON 06-15-06 AT 00:00 AM (EST)

If you think by now everyone would've stopped stashing their this-n-thats in me, well, you thunk and fell in it. If you want to know where 90% of your outfits are, Richard, look no further than the back of the linen closet. That's right. Much like Kim and Allison, Christie and Christina, your little grown-a$$ Antonia has been squirelling away "souvenirs" behind the towels. Don't worry; not all of them have been made into sequined dog outfits. Your red.white and blue "Shake it like Uncle Sam!" set? Behind the washrags. And the flaming hot pink number? In between Jodi and Niambi's fuzzy robes. So, when all is lost (or seems to be), check out Mr. Bathroom! Only if e-bay turns up nothin'.


And Antonia, you might want to get these pillows and blankets out of Mr. Tub, either before he develops a leak, or Dr. Stan sees them, and decides to do a special "Dance of the 7 Blankies," wink wink.

"Dance of the 7 Blankies (& other issues)"
Posted by alaholly on 06-15-06 at 09:56 AM
<Dramatic throwing of self on couch>

"I am having such a hahd time he-yah." <Big pout>

"Cassie keeps sneakin' up on me and givin' me hugs.' <Shudders>

"Lisa, Sommer, and Christina keep paradin' around in their bathin' suits chattin' up the camera men instead of practicin'." <Rolls eyes>

"I'm still recoverin' from seeing Docktuh Stan in the sequined tank and now he's talkin' about that *bleepin'* Blankie Dance."

"Jill is eatin' up our costume budget and now I have to order more spandex." <Sigh>

"And to top it off, Maureen refuses to wear the tutu I ordered for her ballet number with Deborah." <Eyebrow twitch>"

"I need guidance he-yah. Where's my buddy Buddha? Whe-yah are my coaches?? I haven't seen Rhonda and Mama I since their duet incident. Maybe I should try to work with that Richard guy if he would sit still long enough. He wears me out."

"I know what I need...MOMMMMMMMY!"


Maybe the rich husband plan wasn't such a bad idea...

"RE: Dance of the 7 Blankies (& other issues)"
Posted by Sahara on 06-15-06 at 05:00 PM
Ah, Antonia, dear, since Iyanla must be off to her "Notions and Potions" conference, I will try to be of good use to you.

Here, dear, hold up this mirror and repeat after me: I am beautiful. I am loved. I love me. I love Rhonda. Rhonda is the ultimate standard of whom I should aspire to be. I am not as beautiful as Rhonda. I am enough.

It is time for you to step out of your comfort zone. To reinforce the fact that you can do ANYTHING, please put on the tutu you had made for Maureen. Go to Pink's hot dog stand and pirouette on the table, shouting out, "I am the star in the ballet of LIFE!!!!"

I'm so glad I could help. These things will improve your self-confidence immensely.

Oh, and when you make flyers for the talent show, please remember two things: My picture with the Emmy goes on the front, and you need to include the PRICE.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

"Dance of the 7 Tutus"
Posted by alaholly on 06-16-06 at 09:17 AM
<Antonia has locked herself in the bathroom at Pink's. She is wearing Maureen's tutu (which is a bit large) and her gold jacket. She cracks open the door and sees a large crowd gathering outside>

"ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDIN' ME??? I'm a grown a$$ woman! Listen Rhonda, I'm not doin' this by myself. Get somebody else out here or I'm not doin'nothin'...I'm goin' home, <bleepin' BLEEP!>


I AM a stah!

"RE: Dance of the 7 Tutus"
Posted by Sahara on 06-17-06 at 06:33 PM
Hey, Antonia, Rhonda made me come here to help ya. Ah don't care much for this tutu. Mah ole day-ud husband would have flipped to see me in this thing. But ah can't get on the table with ya. Ah don't know why Rhonda was afraid of the table collapsing, something about Pink's and a lawsuit...

Do they sell cotton candy here, girlfriend?


"Hey Antonia!"
Posted by kircon on 06-16-06 at 04:12 AM
I can help with your budget. Just remember to send a letter to the IRS: I would like to cancel my subscription, Please remove my name from your mailing list.

And by the way, if Dr Stan can't get me to wear sparklely shorts why do you think you can get me to wear a tutu?

"RE: Calling Dr. Vant...emergency!"
Posted by BlowingOver on 06-15-06 at 10:30 AM
> I don't want to step on
>any toes (except maybe my
>darling Dr. Stanley's), so I
>am not going to try
>to "run" the show.
>I will, however, be the
>star of the show.
>You wait and see.


::applauds wildly::

"RE: Calling Dr. Vant...emergency!"
Posted by Sahara on 06-15-06 at 04:44 PM
Ach, Fraulein Antonia, I vould be happy to be of azziztanze. I can even make it permament, if you vould like.

There vill be a teenzy fee...you didn't azk the cozt, though, zo I azzume you can pay $3,000.00.


I have been juzt a leetle grumpy zinze Fraulein Bridey quit coming up for her egzperimentz....

"RE: Calling Dr. Vant...emergency!"
Posted by alaholly on 06-16-06 at 00:10 AM
"Oh thank you thank you thank you, Dr. V. And please do make it permanent. One more Good Morning, GOOD MORNING and I could lose it completely. Of course the fee will be no problem. Here's my new credaht cahd. Yes it's mine. You do know my name don't you, Antonia J. Murray."


I hope this one's good!

"RE: Calling Dr. Vant...emergency!"
Posted by Sahara on 06-17-06 at 06:43 PM
Ach, Fraulein Antonia, ve haz a problem! Thiz credit card haz been cancelled. Zomethink about not payink a big bill for ze zpandex. Zorry I cannot help you, dearie! I vill give you thiz pair of pantyhoze that Bridey left to put over her faze if you vish.



"RE: Calling Dr. Vant...emergency!"
Posted by JavaT on 06-17-06 at 05:52 AM
Oh, hold your pants on, Hot Stuff... no, on second thought... WAA HA HA! Just a little morbidly risqué humor, you know. But girls, you really oughta see my man Vanty in the buff. Hoo-boy! What a looker, that one.

But Vanty, you really need to make up your mind. First you tell me I should be out hustling to make us some money for our nest egg, so you hook me up with XXXtina. And now you have the gall to get "grumpy" because I'm not around?! Sheesh!

I'll have you know, I have just mastered the pole dance. And after that, I'll be graduating to the Sit on the Floor and Undulate with Christie, to Be in Touch with Your Sensual Self shtick.

So whaddya want, for cryin' out loud?! Money, or my hot bod whenever you snap your bony little fingers?

"RE: Calling Dr. Vant...emergency!"
Posted by Sahara on 06-17-06 at 06:56 PM
Ach, Fraulein Bridey, I cannot take all of diz pressure! Vy do you tell deze ztoriez? I make plenty for our nezt egg from Fraulein Rhonda and Fraulein Andy alone. You dizappear vith Fraulein Chriztina vithout zo much az a note....all I am left vith are deze picturez of your beautiful faze and my dezigns for your forehead. And diz pair of pantyhoze I am zaving for Fraulein Antonia.

Did dat electrical egzperiment ve did on your head zomehow affect your brain zellz? I tinkz maybe it did. Pleaze come in and let me check you out...

"RE: Costumes"
Posted by catmama on 06-14-06 at 11:59 PM
*grunts, exhales stream of smoke*
I just knew I shouldn't have broken my mask! I mean Alex! I mean the child I'll never have, naturally! Because I had the greatest act of all lined up (and no, I'm not telling anyone what it was). I will just say, it involved Alex, some tap shoes, spanky pants, and one of my many great-fitting shirts. ::grabs Jill around the neck:: Oh, my sister! I am soooo glad you have come back for me! ::sniffs air:: Is that....cupcake I smell? Oh Jill! Have you betrayed me? How could you? I thought we had something special...a..a.. a bond. But now, I see all my good lovin' hugs were in vain. Unbelievable!

I have a new idea for my costume...but do we have enough Reddy Whip and Snowballs?

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 19"
Posted by Sahara on 06-15-06 at 04:26 PM
Umm, Iyanla, most of the song is great...I just have an issue with the first verse:

New & Improved Iyanlaversion:
{Both} Sistahs, sistahs,
Iyanla is the most important sistah.
Never bought that Fearless Living crap, no sir.
{Iyanla:} I'm here to keep my eye on her.

Newer and better Rhondaversion
Sisters, sisters,
Rhonda is the most beautiful sister.
Cast my spells with beauty, not with wands, no sir.
(Rhonda): I'm here to keep my eye on her.

So, how do we resolve this situation? Do we let the Great BM decide? Or do we do both verses?


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 19"
Posted by sharnina on 06-15-06 at 05:00 PM
*on the phone*

Mmm hmmm... yeah, you to pookie bear I... huh, oh.. hang on Megan.

*to assistant*
Rhonda wants to know what? And did she ask that like she thought I really might care?

Yeeaaahhh, tell them that if they can't resolve it themselves they will have to go to Kim's Anger Room until they work it out.


You know, Rhonda, I only said that for Megan's benefit. It's you
and me babe, all the way. *wink*

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 19"
Posted by BlowingOver on 06-16-06 at 00:44 AM
:: swaying to music ::

Sisters, sisters,
Stan can also be a sister.
Though I'm here for credibility, even I can't fix stupidity,
(Stan): I'm here to dab my eyes for you.

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 19"
Posted by SeasonedRefinement on 06-16-06 at 01:14 PM
Rhonda, my love, my darlin', oh Rhonda....I think you need to reign in your assistant. She's taken a few liberties with what you dictated to her. Like, I know that you didn't call your version the "newer and better Rhondaversion", and still that's what your memo calls that verse you submitted. So, somebody got a little uppity, right? Now truly, baby, doesn't the term "Iyanlalyric" sound so much more......um, how do I say this?......better?

As for the rest of it...I don't need to run the world ya know, not that I couldn't. I'm a reasonable soul -- within reason, ahahahahah! So, we'll negotiate. You can keep SOME of that, with a few minor alterations. How's this?


Iyanla's "don't even think of changing this line or I'll break your fingers", betterer than the newer and better Rhondaversion of Iyanlalyrics:

Sistahs, Sistahs,
Rhonda's a 45 year-old sistah.
Casts her spells with botox, not with youth, no sir.
(Rhonda)I'm here to keep my eye on her.

So, I'm open to suggestions. Whaddya think?

"You've gotta be kidding me."
Posted by Sahara on 06-17-06 at 07:17 PM
LAST EDITED ON 06-17-06 AT 08:27 PM (EST)

Iyanla, Iyanla, poor, misguided, not self-loving Iyanla. Who are you, dear, to talk about YOUTH? I think 45 years passed by you quite a while ago. And what is this Botox you speak of? I have no idea what that even is. I naturally look this young and lithe. I naturally have this alert, plastic sneer beautiful, healthy look on my face.

How about this...I do want to sing with you, dear, as it will make us both look loving, caring, and radiant on camera and show our false comraderie.

The newest and bestest Rhondaversion of Iyanlalyrics because my hands are insured by Lloyd's of London because Dr. Stan got a package deal

Sisters, sisters,
I love myself more than my sister,
Love the camera more than a man, yes sir,
(Both)I'm here to keep its lens off HER.

Will this work for a compromise?


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

"RE: You've gotta be kidding me."
Posted by SeasonedRefinement on 06-18-06 at 12:18 PM
Should have quit while you were ahead, Britton.

Oh sistah, isn't it true! The devil truly is in the details. We're getting all kinds of stuck on this little verse. And now you've gone and riled up the devil in me! Well, this may settle things and chase the devil away!

"Iyanla's -- mess with my music again and my disciples will mess with the Fearless Living website -- FINAL, NON-NEGOTIABLE remodification of Rhondaversion's Iyanlalyrics':"

Sistahs, sistahs,
here's the truth, the show's been cancelled, sistah!
There's no doubt that I'm the coach the fans prefer,
(Rhonda)I wish that I was just like her!

Oh, and Dr. Stan, here's a little piece added just for you, girlfriend. Try this out for size:

Sisters, Sisters,
wants to be one, but he is a mister,
Here's his diagnosis and you will concur,
(Dr. Stan) I'm not a "him", I am a "her"!


"RE: You've gotta be kidding me."
Posted by Sahara on 06-20-06 at 01:11 AM
LAST EDITED ON 06-20-06 AT 09:41 AM (EST)

Moved to new thread

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 19"
Posted by sharnina on 06-17-06 at 03:33 PM
Antonia, I know we only knew each - *hic* - for a short while, but how - *hic* - many times do I have t' tellll you - *hic* *blinks* - I.don't. *hic* have.a.drinking.pro-blem! *hic*

*blinks*
Is that my red sweater you're wearing?

"LISA?"
Posted by BlowingOver on 06-15-06 at 10:37 AM
I just thought I would mention that Lisa1 is practicing her act in the driveway.

She's in a big cage with "Siegfried and Roy" on the side.

Lots of screaming, puke and chewed-up credit cards . . .

"RE: LISA?"
Posted by Sahara on 06-15-06 at 04:37 PM
LAST EDITED ON 06-15-06 AT 05:12 PM (EST)

Lisa! Lisa!!! LISA!!!!!

Stop it for a minute...I thought you were going to read your love letters to Mr. Internet as your talent, or paint the stage an ugly shade of fuschia. Oh, well, doesn't matter, as long as you are here, I am here, and Mr. Murray is here, you are staying in the cage anyway!

Carry on....


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

Edited to add: Is there room in that cage for Megan to join you?

"RE: LISA?"
Posted by alaholly on 06-16-06 at 00:46 AM
<Lisa gnawing on bars of cage with her teeth>

"Puleeeeeez let me outta here!"

<Sob, gag, spit, retch, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh. Looks around to see if anyone is coming to help. No one is. Stops retching>

"Well then bring me a lap top. NOW! I NEED to check my e-mail!! Maybe there will be an e-mail from a certain someone."

"Puleeeeeeeeeeeeeezz!!!! I promise I'll keep my clothes on and stop winking at the camera men. C'mon. RIGHT NOW! Damn. You all are such
b!tches!!!"

<Sees the scooter whizzing by the cage. Cupcake falls off the back and rolls toward the bars. Stops just out of reach>

"JIIILLLLLLLL! You know about being in the slammer, help me!"

<Starts gnawing on the bars again>


B!tches...

"Hey Lisa!"
Posted by kircon on 06-16-06 at 04:41 AM
You still got it,

*wait*

But no one wants it.

"Me n' the talent show"
Posted by Sahara on 06-15-06 at 05:20 PM
Oh, Antonia, I think I've decided what ah'm gonna do for the talent show. Ah'll just be a part of every act...every time somebody comes up to perform, ah just know everybody's really wantin' to see me. So ah'll just see what they're doin' and then ah'll go up front and do it lots better.

Can you rename it for me...the DeBORah Show? If you don't, ah'm thinking ah may go home. Ah don't fit in heah. It's hard, bein' celibate an' all, you know.


"RE: Me n' the talent show"
Posted by BlowingOver on 06-16-06 at 00:53 AM
Hey, there's that menopausal hot-flash sweaty thing you did so well . . .

Let's put you out in the sun on a vinyl inflatable sofa with a bag of spicy Doritos and see what happens.

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 18"
Posted by kircon on 06-16-06 at 04:47 AM
Hey TJ, you want to come to the bead store with me. I think I want beads in my hair for the talent show.

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 18"
Posted by alaholly on 06-16-06 at 09:01 AM
"Niambi...NIAMBI!! I have LOTS of beads left over from all my unfinished jewelry projects.
(That was SO hard, sniff)
I'll give you ALL of them if you let me out of my cage. Puleeeeeeeeez?"


I need lunch, somebody bring me a few raisins...

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 18"
Posted by catmama on 06-16-06 at 05:34 PM
Damn it! I thought we had enough Snow-balls and Reddy whip! I guess my "sister" Jill got to them (and before even I could!). So, now am I not only costume-less, I'm pretty hungry, too. ::Overhears Niambi and TJ talking about the Bead store:: Mind if I tag along? We need a few things from the Hostess store- Twinkies, Ding Dongs, cupcakes, HoHo's, muffins, and Snowballs you know, just some healthy snacks. And, I need some wheat bread- I am on a diet, after all! Whaddya say, ladies? :tries to bear hug TJ and Niambi:: Did I just hear a snap? Sounded like... twigs breaking. Anyway...I'm ready when you guys are!


I wonder if Andy would help me w/ my Reddy-Ball costume, as I'm calling it. Or maybe Snow-Whip? Cream-balls? Ah, we'll figure it out! Andeee!

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 18"
Posted by JavaT on 06-17-06 at 05:44 AM
Jodi, I am so sorry, honey, but they just don't make size 42DDD Snow-balls. And there's not enough RediWhip in the whole world to cover that midriff of yours. I would suggest you wear, instead, a simple basic black shift, on which we'll all paint a picture of our favorite snacks, using the Day-Glo markers of our choice!

And you know what? We can expand this project, ladies! Remember the guy who sold advertising on his forehead? Well, we can sell advertising on Jodi's Black Dress! We can charge $20 a column inch, and even more for the fattest premium spots. And if I do say so myself, we could make a bundle on your butt, alone!

So Jodi, please meet me over at Chéz Omar's on Rodeo Drive, and you can try on some of the tents stunning dresses I've selected for you. Ta for now, honey!

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 18"
Posted by turquiosedove on 06-17-06 at 00:18 AM
Ladies, I have a ton of things to add *sparkle* and *panache* to the Talent Show. I guarantee you will get renewed come the Fall (falls down laughing, pounding the pavement)
Come check out what I have. I want you skanks err girls to shine on stage. Niambi we have the hair twirler that adds the beads easily to the hair with lots of accessories.

I also have the new inspirational charms from the Big Bum Line. They will remind you of the truth. Some examples:
My fans are money machine$
eBay $ucker$ rule
Cupcakes the other white meat
I love my cottage cheese @ss
Hard work=sitting on the beach
Pay Pal Me
Bless this Mess
There are many more to see. Ohhh, don't forget I now have my sparklie US beaded postage stamps for sale 14-39cent stamps for $20.
Hurry in quantities limited, hope to see you soon!!!!

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 18"
Posted by mbinkc on 06-17-06 at 00:52 AM
Helllooo Ladieeesss!!
Did someone say sparklie beaded postage stamps?? Oooooohhh how neato!! I'm never going to use email again. Snail mail for me from now on!


I wonder how many of those I can stick to my hair for the talent show?

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 18"
Posted by alaholly on 06-17-06 at 00:57 AM
"Do you have any chahms that say "I'm a grown a$$ woman??"

"Real cute, spark-a-lee ones?"


No one takes me seriously, he-yah.

"RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 18"
Posted by Anne18 on 06-17-06 at 01:55 AM
Niambi, I would love to come with you to choose the beads for your hair. TJ is only good with hair, while I'm good fashionwise. Is it okay for me to come??

"Next week?"
Posted by BlowingOver on 06-16-06 at 10:17 PM
Jon, I just got a phone call from Aaron Spelling.

First the good news: Yes! The Love Boat set is available for our talent show, with many has-been actors eager to make their services available to us.

Now, the bad news: The talent show must be completed by next Friday because Aaron needs Rhonda for a special 4th of July edition of The Swan: Boo-boos and Bloopers.


"Who Was The Swan?"
Posted by alaholly on 06-17-06 at 01:16 AM
Dear Dr. Stan my most favorite Starting Over Shrink,

I heard you mentioning that fantastic and inspiring TV show "The Swan." I was wondering if you know the answer to my question:
Was Christie a former contestant?

Thank you Dr. Stan. I'm your biggest fan (except for Richard). Thanks for the nice note.

Just wondering in Walla Walla,
Bob

"RE: Who Was The Swan?"
Posted by BlowingOver on 06-17-06 at 11:33 AM
Dear Bob,

I'm a big fan of yours, too. Or more precisely, your onions. A few of those babies in my pockets at graduation and I can cry convincingly for hours.

re: Christie & the Swan ::lowers voice:: Yes. But, shhhh. We're getting into a testy area here. All I can say is she's not the only one Jon hired from the RealityTVWorld.com parking lot . . .

"RE: Next week?"
Posted by sharnina on 06-17-06 at 03:24 PM
*memo to Dr. Stan*

Stan, my man! Wazzzuuuuuup! haahhhha I love that!

Seriously, Stan, ix-nay on the Love Boat-ay. Trying to keep production costs down, you know.

I was thinking it might be a good idea to have the talent show in front of that little hot dog stand where Doormat Lisa had her little poetry show.

Whadda ya think?



Rhonda, would you consider wearing that little red tutu number for the talent show?

"RE: Next week?"
Posted by Sahara on 06-17-06 at 07:27 PM
Only if I can wear my tiara and hold the Emmy.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

"RE: Next week?"
Posted by alaholly on 06-18-06 at 00:08 AM
"I WANT A TIARA. C'mon Rhonda I want one too. I WANT A TIARA! My Mommy and Daddy will pay you. And I deserve one. I'm skinnier than you!"


"I feel pretty, oh so pretty! Wait, didn't I hear that somewhere?

"RE: Next week?"
Posted by sharnina on 06-18-06 at 02:16 AM
um... Lisa? You're skinnier than ... well ...everybody.


God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.

"RE: Next week?"
Posted by mbinkc on 06-18-06 at 12:06 PM
Hellloooo Ladieeesss!!
Lisa may be skinny, but I am buff with a capital B!
::looks self over in short shorts and sparklie shiny tank top and growls::
And you have to be buff when you're playing Twister. So the tiara goes to me, me, me!!! It will go perfect with the sparklie stamps all over my hair.
::wonders to self if tiara will fit onto afro-like hair::


Left foot blue...right hand green...ooooooh, I can't wait!!

"RE: Next week?"
Posted by BlowingOver on 06-18-06 at 04:13 PM
Let's see, which is more in the spirit of the Starting Over house . . . enjoying margaritas and Twister on the Love Boat's luxury pool deck with bikini-clad extras and a professional dance band, or listening to Rhonda squirt mustard to the tune of "Sisters" at a hot dog stand?


Love, exciting and new . . .Come Aboard. We're expecting you.

"Love, exciting and new...all aboard!"
Posted by alaholly on 06-18-06 at 08:09 PM
LAST EDITED ON 06-19-06 AT 09:00 AM (EST)

"Oh Docktuh Sta-an. Are you freakin' kiddin' me? The boat $hit is the bomb! Fan<bleepin'>tastic!!! I can't wait to come aboard and show off all of our MANY talents. The luxury pool deck, <bleepin' bleep>!"

"I am a little worried about the speedo situation though. Some of the former houseguests have reported still havin' nightmares about the Stahtin' Ovah Speedo Pool Party. I'm sure you heard a few horrifying stories in your therapy sessions."

"I am also over budget at Big Bolt Fabrics so I'm not sure what to do about costumes for the *er* larger ladies. And you should be aware that some of those girls are threatenin' to skinny dip! That could cause a LOT of sea sickness...or men overboard. Please advise."


Can I call you Captain Stanley?