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Original Message
"What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by VelvetElegance on 04-10-06 at 08:34 PM
Ok maybe some of you can shed some light on this for me. We are three seasons into SO. That means there have been at least 24 women (not counting the first season) to come and go from the SO House. That also means most of the cast has seen the show and know exactly what to expect. So, with that said, come someone pls tell me why in the world every single woman to ever come through that house always flips out whenever someone announces there will be a BOR?? You'd think those women didn't know what was coming next. If we go back two seasons, how many women have actually been asked to leave the house Kimberlyn and Sommer (justified IMO), Tess, in some sort of a modified BOR and this season's Lisa? I'm probably forgetting someone. But my point is, unless you are totally screwing up as each of those ladies were well aware of, no one is ever actually asked to leave the house unless they are graduating. It's not like Rhonda and Iyanla arbitrarily choose ppl and ask them to leave. You would think the ladies would know that yet every time they annouce a BOR, they all run around the house like 4th graders who just realized report cards come out in two weeks and suddenly they are trying to think if they have done all their homework. In a way, it seems rather childish to me to see those grown women all walking around the house all saying "I think they're gonna ask me to leave". And if any of those woman had half a brain, they'd ask they other "why would you say that". It's all so ridiculous. And then, Why do Rhonda and Iyanla have to be so over the top in their seriousness? Why not just sit on their precious clipboard? It might be a tad less conspicous..

OK so I see I've gone off on a bit of a rant here. I just never understood why those women suddenly loose all sense of reality as soon as the phrase BOR is uttered.

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Messages in this discussion
"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by SeasonedRefinement on 04-10-06 at 10:40 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-11-06 AT 05:54 PM (EST)

Touche, Velvet Elegance! Nicely said.

I always laugh when Rhonda puts on that Botox smile at the end of group and says, "and ladies, tonight there will be a Board of Review. (Pause for it to sink in...) Someone may graduate, someone may be placed on probation, and someone may be asked to leave the Starting Over House. Be ready to give an account of your progress, ladies. Make this a great day"!

Then we get to hear the tense music, and watch the camera pan around the room to see the looks of terror on each woman's face. They look as though they have just been told that some poor unfortunate will meet with a tired and hungry representative of the IRS to begin an audit of their 1999 and 2001 tax returns - in five hours.

What they are afraid of is the firing squad mentality that is the BOR. Even if the dynamic duo ultimately gives the victim a big, happy "A+", they make them sweat, shift their weight from foot to foot, and their mouths all get dry (making it difficult to speak because their tongues suddenly feel three sizes too big!). And remember, they know that all of this humiliation is being fed into living rooms all over America. Even if the LC's issue a reprieve and don't engage in games like, "guess where I'm going with this question", there is always the "feedback from your housemates" portion that is every woman's nightmare. Why? Because the victim HAS to take it with a nod and a "thank you". For a woman to respond to "honest" feedback with an honest, "Hey wait a minute, Jodi, you were as drunk as I was, and you said that Christie was a....", well, you know - that's just evidence of a heart and mind that is unyielded and resistant to the almighty (ever-changing) "process". It is a deer in the headlights moment, and the ladies know it.

Why do they all dress up for this thing, bumping into each other during the last few pre-BOR minutes blow-drying their hair and applying their make-up? Are they finally remembering that they are on TV?

Equally amusing is the reaction when one of them is told that they are graduating. The jumping, yelling, and eventual jealousy always reminds me of a tight-knit group of convicts who just found out that one of their number was granted parole! Too funny.


Edited for typos
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"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by 26mitogo on 04-10-06 at 11:48 PM
Good question Velvet. I laugh every time this happens. SeasonedRefinements response was right on, as usual. Only thing I would add would be that for soooo long this season, they not only went without showing anyone getting steps, they seemed to have very few BORs. Seems they'd suddenly throw one in as an afterthought when they realized someone had been in the house several months without having to endure the ultimate humiliation of their own moment in BOR. I too don't understand the panic ... unless you were Kim. Then again, maybe she is getting used to having her every word, thought, and action laughed at, attacked, and gossiped about so that BOR isn't any different than any other day of her SO stay. Based on this season, it appears you'd have to commit murder to actually "be asked to leave"! And if Allison, Lisa1, Jill, & company can get a gift & golden graduation "trophy" then I'd say no one has anything to worry about. I'm afraid if I were in there I'd start laughing when Rhonda & IV spouted their dramatic "there will be a Board of Review tonight" in all their seriousness and sarcastic devilish smiles. And I would be asked to leave when the all-feared clipboards come out at the BOR table and the LCs start pouring on the dreaded drama ... I don't think I could contain the laughter! It has become rather comical. And with Rhonda's eyebrows half way up her forehead, her sarcasm and other manufactured facial expressions are looking ever more evil.

As for the women's frantic and fearful panic about being sure they will be asked to leave ... scripted??? or a house full of idiots??? Your guess is as good as mine!

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A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A WOMAN must do what he can't.

"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by SeasonedRefinement on 04-11-06 at 06:20 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-11-06 AT 06:21 PM (EST)

26mitogo-

Good memory! The clipboards!!! What an effective prop they are!

I wonder if the grades haven't already been written on a piece of paper hours before the stupid review. Then the LC places the prepared page under a few blank pieces of paper, and the sheets of paper are all secured to the official looking clipboard (that is never lowered from the chest of the LC). Then, to extract every last drop of tension from the situation, the lifecoach lifts their big magic marker to the top page, which is blank, and a big letter "C" or "D" is carefully and deliberately formed on the top piece of paper. The stealthy LC then pulls out the previously written "A" or "B" that is several pages beneath the top page. It's just so easy to tell what letter they're writing.

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"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by working4aliving on 04-15-06 at 02:34 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-15-06 AT 02:35 PM (EST)

The clipboards!!! What an effective prop they are!

Speaking of those clipboards, what do you think is really on them? I sincerely doubt they chart the HG's progress since it's such an objective thing, or do you suppose they have something like:

"Lisa- 74 1/2 phony tears, 6 emails and 43 instant messages to Internet Man

Kelly - contemptuous behavior 28 times, drew blood 4

Kim - 6 glasses of merlot, 4 shots of whiskey and uses alcohol as an astringent"

What do ya'll think?

"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by JustBNMe on 04-15-06 at 04:12 PM
Welll..I think it is kind of an outline for them to follow during BOR. Maybe they even doodle pics of the HG or say things between each other like "this one is full of crap isn't she?" Plus if you rememeber Iguana was reading the stuff off Rhonda's clipboard when she was having Lisa2 repeat after her when she was at the podium as she was leading up to saying Lisa2 was ready to graduate. It was like Iguana looked at the clipboard before she said each sentence.
"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by eire_heart74 on 04-11-06 at 07:53 AM
Ah man! YOu put it out there perfectly! They do spaz out completely! You would think they were getting kicked out a real school or something. More like a job though. Where you get paid to sit around and eat, smoke and make art projects. Nice set up. I would be nervous to be losing it too!
"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by VelvetElegance on 04-11-06 at 02:28 PM
^5 to all of you. What's the deal with all the art crap. Why not send them all to camp and call it a day. How can you take a girl like Kim with the seriousness of her problems and give her art projects for eight weeks and actually think you have accomplished something. While I applaud the mission of the SO house, the fact is, if it were as successful as it should be, it wouldn't have such a revolving door. Almost as many graduates have returned as have left.
"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by Baxtera on 04-11-06 at 02:37 PM
I've always thought like the confessional the panic was rather encouraged. However, the LC are never compassionate and kind and it's always like appearing before a firing squad with those two hackers so I can understand why.

Even at graduation today IV couldn't resist bringing Lisa down a few more pegs and continuing to humiliate her on a day that was suppose to celebrate her completion of her work.

"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by sillybear on 04-11-06 at 05:32 PM
At one time when I saw previews for an upcoming BOR I did not want to miss it.Now it seems to be the same old thing.Much addo about nothing.
"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by VelvetElegance on 04-11-06 at 09:21 PM
>At one time when I saw previews for an upcoming BOR I did not want to miss it.Now it seems to be the same old thing. Much addo about nothing.>

This is EXACTLY my point. We as viewers know exactly what to expect from the moment Rhonda or Iyanla announce a BOR. At some point all of the women that are in the SO House were viewers too, so they too know what to expect. They know just like we do how Rhonda and Iyanla really put on a show to make it seems ultra serious so why do they all freak out like they have know idea what to expect!?!

Someone mentioned that perhaps the producers encourage them to behave this way. It would be a shame if they did, but it would certainly explain a lot.


"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by Twinkles on 04-16-06 at 04:00 AM
It occured to me recently that some of the inst-graduations might be rushed because of limitations in the schedules of new women entering the house. I thought of the job description of the people who have to schedule the whole project like an event planner. Out with the old, in with the new. So the BOR suddenly MUST happen by a certain time and they have to make it sound like it has everything to do with the participants progress.

I haven't tracked this idea to everyone, but it fits coming up with a scheme to kick FloridaLisa out of the house for 30 days to make room for her graduation-or-not. It fits RecentLisa's BOR/graduation even though she didn't work with her husband in the house or by phone or anything. Yes, they sent her home with a certificate for marriage counseling but I've never heard of that working when only one person is jazzed about signing up for it. Who really knows what's going on with her husband?

As far as the freaking out and squealing with surprise at the thought of a BOR -- I imagine the camera crew holding up "Squeal" signs like they have "Applause" signs for studio audiences. But seriously, I can see they have some dread of feeling "in trouble" plus excitement of getting rewarded. They react like little girls in a school setting. I think it's part of trying hard to do what they came to do and part celebrity/authority worship *cough* kissing up *cough*.

"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by knitwit on 04-23-06 at 12:48 PM
I really find the clipboard grading to be really fake. Did anyone else notice at one of the most recent BOR's that they forgot to take off the price tag on Rhonda's clipboard? It drove me crazy.
"RE: What's the deal with BOR?"
Posted by VelvetElegance on 04-23-06 at 08:25 PM
>I really find the clipboard grading to be really fake. Did anyone else notice at
one of the most recent BOR's that they forgot to take off the price tag on Rhonda's clipboard? It drove me crazy. >

That's pretty funny..and no, I didn't catch it. But I think it's safe to say that the clipboards are pretty much a prop. I mean when you think about it, is it REALLY necessary to have a clipboard just to assess the HGs? Umm..No. I guess it adds to the drama and theatrics tho to have Rhonda and Iyanla march into the dining room carrying something. I'm not sure it'd have the same effect if they were to walk in empty-handed.