Did anyone notice that IV, for the very first time, was silent during Bethany's story? This was probably very difficult for her to hear, as well as for all of us. However, she was unusually stoic and it came across as a little cold. Even though you could see the pain in her eyes.

Please correct me if I am wrong, but I didn't even hear her ask one question.

• RE: IV at group,SOinEden, 06:49 PM, 04-04-06
  • RE: IV at group,zonkerpup, 04:06 PM, 04-06-06
• RE: IV at group,dasboot, 10:14 PM, 04-04-06
  • RE: IV at group,phlinky, 11:01 PM, 04-04-06
    • RE: IV at group,Cleverone, 00:48 AM, 04-05-06
      • RE: IV at group,JessicaRN, 01:19 AM, 04-05-06
• RE: IV at group,eire_heart74, 10:09 AM, 04-05-06
  • RE: IV at group,desertdame, 09:48 AM, 04-06-06
    • RE: IV at group,justmyopinion, 01:29 AM, 04-12-06
• RE: IV at group,Bachlott, 11:33 AM, 04-05-06
  • RE: IV at group,Sweeti, 12:00 PM, 04-05-06
• RE: IV at group,kawyar, 11:55 AM, 04-05-06
• RE: IV at group,daisy4360, 06:11 PM, 04-06-06
  • RE: IV at group,TruGoodness, 10:59 AM, 04-07-06
  • RE: IV at group,mapleleaf, 10:09 PM, 04-07-06
    • RE: IV at group,Ptmsf, 11:05 PM, 04-07-06
      • RE: IV at group,tac_2, 12:44 PM, 04-08-06
• RE: IV at group,lovemydogdude, 06:42 PM, 04-08-06
  • RE: IV at group,GoodnightLittleBear, 10:30 AM, 04-12-06

I'm sure Bethany's story was especially hard for IV because she also lost her daughter to cancer a few years ago. Her daughter was in her early 30's but it was her child.

IV's quiet because she is STILL going through her own grief process with her daughter. I can understand her being able to treat someone with cancer, but not someone who's own grief at the loss of a daughter is so raw and new. IV's own situation is not that old. It will take years before she is in that space safely. At this point much of IV's therapy would be about herself instead of her client. I've said other places, that I've lost a child. It takes years and you cannot hurry the process. And the reality is that you will never be the same again. It is a growth period/process that most of us would chose not to go through; and we're drug through it kicking and screaming.
Peace, Kathy

LAST EDITED ON 04-04-06 AT 10:28 PM (EST)

Why was she silent? Bethany replaced Jill and should be coached by Her Magnificence, Iyanla. The 'in your face' drama queen asking badgering almost each houseguest she coaches with "what are you going to do" has been silenced. {gasp} Iguana should be coaching Bethany and she should have been asking more questions of her. Iguana was silent through the whole storytelling and that is very, very, very unusual for her not to have something to say. Perhaps she didn't feel the need to be a clown because the drama of what Bethany had to share was enough in itself.

Apparently, Iguana was passed over for the job of LCing Bethany. Rhonda says she is Bethany's LC, which means she, Rhonda, is lifecoaching 4 houseguests now and Her Magnificence, Iyanla, is lifecoaching 2. Something isn't right. Bethany should have gone to Her Magnifigence.

SO is desperate. Looks like this is their last hoorah and they are trying to redeem themselves for all of the crap/crud they've put on the airways over the past 3 years and made it seem like the show was legit. I don't agree that there isn't good stuff there, it's just too bad it has to be dug for through all of the nonsense : fake drama, misleading promos, editing, hairdos, outfits, makeup, fake nails, halfffff-truths, false eyelashes, jewelry, art, fancy houses, gossiping and backbiting, cat fights, and fame hungry houseguests.

The ship is going down and they are trying to say : See, we weren't so bad. If Rhonda Britten thinks she is going to help this woman with a few whacky exercises, she is delusional. I don't want to watch this. But it's part of life, so I guess I will.

I think the LC's are preparing us for the end of the show and what better way then teaching us how to grieve a loss?

I can only see a final reunion show of all SO members who wish to attend after all of the current ladies have graduated. The final goodbye. Which is ok because nothing lasts forever and from the minute we are born we are experiencing necessary and not so necessary losses. To live well is to grieve well. Bring it on!!!! Grieve and move on.

I think that since IV lost a daughter, she would be too emotional to handle Bethany. Probably Rhonda is the best LC to deal with this since IV's daughter passed just a few years ago.

I was surprised at her lack of "coaching" or goading the new HG to tell her story truthfully. I don't think she needed to. However, if you look at her eyes, it told the whole story. IV could have said something and it was edited out.

I think Bethany was to replace Lisa who was Rhonda's "patient."

>I think that since IV lost
>a daughter, she would be
>too emotional to handle Bethany.
>Probably Rhonda is the best
>LC to deal with this
>since IV's daughter passed just
>a few years ago.
>
>I was surprised at her lack
>of "coaching" or goading the
>new HG to tell her
>story truthfully. I don't think
>she needed to. However, if
>you look at her eyes,
>it told the whole story.
>IV could have said something
>and it was edited out.
>
>
>I think Bethany was to replace
>Lisa who was Rhonda's "patient."
>

I agree with you Iyanla's loss was fairly recent and it would be unlikely that she'd be the best choice for a young grieving mother who's own grief is so fresh...I think it was a wise choice to let Rhonda guide Bethany thru this process and the odds are a little off because Rhonda is coaching 4 women and Iyanla 2...but, she'll need all her "stamina" for boot camp with Jodi and Lisa2...both still very rooted in their past behaviors and not eager to move forward.

There wasn't much to "goad" out of this woman's story because it's a "real story" of "real tragedy"...not at all like the BS the others are there for...the problem with the show has been the caliber of the HG's..not the LC's...most of the women this season have been "very shallow and superficial" ....lacking in "real problems"...a few scattered amid the crowd.

There's a time and place for everything and the LC's are wise ones and their behavior was admirabe.

****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
****************************

Bethany's story is so raw and so heartbreaking and for some reason I flashed onto Lisa 1 dry heaving in the bowl when she told her story. Kind of puts this year of SO into perspective.

I didn't hear her say a peep! But like the other posters, I agree that losing a child like she did whatever age might be still hard for her to talk about.

I did notice 4 for Rhonda and 2 for IV. What's with that? IV seems to be fading into the background more and more.

I thought IV seemed more bored than anything....pursing her lips and acting like she did not want to be there. I think that as an LC one should put personal experiences on the back burner and tune in to the needs of the client. I kept trying to read her face for any sign of empathy or compassion......none. Most of the time she is hard on the newbies, so I was actually relieved that she was silent with Bethany's intro into the house.

>I thought IV seemed more bored
>than anything....pursing her lips and
>acting like she did not
>want to be there. I
>think that as an LC
>one should put personal experiences
>on the back burner and
>tune in to the needs
>of the client.

That's usually not possible to do. The likelihood that IV would be able to really help anyone else with the loss of a child before she herself has come to grips with it is slim. It would be the ethical and kind thing to do to not take it on. You need some good clinical distance to be able to help someone through their pain and it didn't look to me like IV had that kind of distance. She didn't look like she wanted to be there and it may well be because it was triggering her own issues and pain to hear Bethany's story. I say bravo for not letting ego get in the way of someone else's healing and stepping down.

I think Iyanla remained quiet because she has lost a daugher herself. For once, she can identify with someone else's feelings. Shout it out to the universe. She is human after all. Iyanla probably didn't want to be her life coach because it would remind her too much of her own issues. Just a thought.

i can see the point about IV and her daughter, but she lost her child to cancer and still was able to be Alisons LC.
i think IV is doing more speaches and what not , things not SO related. probably knew/knows the show is toasted.

I noticed Iyanla's quiet too, but Bethany's story is truly heart-breaking. I noticed that Kim was quite deeply affected too, and I was quite touched by that.

However, Iyanla sorta made up for her silent dignity later on after group by, well, basically, grinding Kelly's body into her own during what appeared to be either a very intense body hug or some lovemaking. WTF?! It bordered on the obscene, IMO.

I noticed this too. I do recall hearing IV make a couple of comments, but not anything more than that. My thought on why she was so quiet was because of her having lost her own daughter. I guess that is probably why Rhonda is coaching Bethany instead of IV.

I am thinking they will probably be graduating one of Rhonda's other clients and give the newbie to IV.

I don't know how Rhonda and Iyanla can stand it sometimes. It must be so hard to be triggered by all the issues of the houseguests all the time.

http://www.AmericanInventorSpot.com

It was refreshing that Iyanla was quiet, and that Rhonda was kind and compassionate. The LC's are usually challenging and sarcastic when new houseguests are telling their story. I suppose they do it in the name of breaking down the person's shield or protective barrier, or whatever lies they think the person is telling themselves...but IMO it is not very welcoming. I thought to myself that they better be compassionate with Bethany.

Hi, I am new here, just joined a week or so ago and have been lurking to get a idea of how you all do this. : )
My take on IV being quiet is I don't think either IV or Rhonda are sure Bethany is going to stay there, so why open up the fresh wounds even more and then have her decide she doesn't want to stay? I think if Bethany stays you will see both Rhonda and IV dig at her like they do the other women. Right now Bethany is so undecided as to should she stay or go, no one wants to approach her and cause more damage. Also this is a situation that Bethany didn't choose to put herself in unlike the other women who created their own drama, so for that I think they are giving Bethany more respect and gentle time before the hard work begins. Hope I get a chance to get to know you guys. I love this board so far, so much insight. : )

Ptmsf

Actually, I thought Iyanla's silent act was just that -- an act.
IOW, just another form of her drama. Too bad really, her continual need for center stage even got in the way of Bethany's story. Silence can be a real attention getter and Iyanla knew it.

Iyanla's hardly even been on the show lately,..they even show her commenting in her very own confessional which I'm sure they had to track her down to do the interview. She's obviously busy with God knows what..probably because she knows the show is almost over. She's graduating Lisa now and I would bet if a new HG came in Rhonda would probably get her too??? Wouldn't surprise me anyways. I realize IV's loss..but don't believe it's why she didn't take Bethany on..have a feeling it's cuz she's never there anymore! As far as her silence during Bethany's story well it's a MIRACLE IMO!!!

It could be that the producer's didn't want her to have another HG with a cancer story in the same season because then it would appear that she is the cancer LC (no offense intended to any cancer survivor). It would look more like survivor support rather than an LC/HG relationship. Nothing wrong with survivor support but I think the producers are wanting to keep up that professional LC charade.