Its not Kim and her lack of self-awareness. Its not Kelly and her anger and bitchiness. Its not Lisa and her bossiness.

There is just no compassion in the house right now. No one really cares about anyone. There is no team work, no support. If I hear one more time "I'm just here to take care of my own issues" I think I'll scream. Sure, the women are there because they are ready to deal with their problems, but they are also there to mutually support one another. In the process, they are also helping themselves. When they refuse to connect with one another, they are missing opportunities for themselves.

Its time that someone take the lead, and challenge herself to love and show compassion for all of the women equally, even that one that they believe to be unloveable. They should do it because it needs to be done, not to get anything in return. I guarantee it will change things in the house, and set a new tone. Someone to step in a say hey, this gossiping has got to stop. Someone the just hold another woman and ask what do you need for me to do.

Sure, maybe Kim will never show kindness, maybe Kelly and Lisa will never stop gossiping. But jeez louise, I would give anything to go there and deal with my issues of abandonement and wanting to please everyone, and everytime I hear a woman ##### about how hard it is to live in that house, I do a slow burn. Here they have this opportunity to meet with a professional several times a week and just focus on their problems, and they're just squandering it.

Helping and loving others is the most cathartic activity a person can do to help themselves. This group of women just seems completely unable to go there. And Lisa, I don't consider your bossiness as being helpful, nor do I consider the gossiping to be supportive. Let's face it...no one is helping anyone in this house.

The LC's need to ramp it up and do some team-building or supportive exercises for this group. And soon too. If not, they will lose someone who really needs their help.

(My rant after viewing the 3/24 episode).

• RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,Baxtera, 01:02 PM, 03-26-06
  • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,KitKatKarlson, 01:42 PM, 03-26-06
    • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,justfionablue, 03:03 PM, 03-26-06
      • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,tac_2, 03:47 PM, 03-26-06
• RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,LIVEURBESTLIFE, 04:25 PM, 03-26-06
• RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,JustBNMe, 04:26 PM, 03-26-06
• RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,sillybear, 04:57 PM, 03-26-06
• RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,lovemydogdude, 05:39 PM, 03-26-06
  • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,staceeturner, 12:45 PM, 04-03-06
    • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,Zoey, 02:10 PM, 04-03-06
      • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,shawnar, 06:53 PM, 04-03-06
• RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,petmama, 05:47 PM, 04-03-06
  • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,Twinkles, 07:59 PM, 04-03-06
    • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,sharnina, 08:22 PM, 04-03-06
      • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,Twinkles, 02:42 AM, 04-06-06
    • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,sweet cheeks, 10:39 PM, 04-03-06
      • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,SOWayz, 04:57 AM, 04-04-06
      • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,ljt, 08:19 PM, 04-05-06
        • RE: The REAL problem in the house right now,petmama, 04:46 PM, 04-06-06

I think the show used to be about that but I think since Season 2 it's become about conflict and the Real World of Day Time. Season 1 did demand more respect and safety for being able to address conflicts and issues without being attacked and hounded but now this has become more about the producers encouraging the conflicts and the cat fights.

Look at the women chosen for the show in the last 2 seasons. Very few of them have real goals and actual activities provided to keep them busy. The surest way to create conflict is to put women in a house with nothing to do and choose personalities designed to come in conflict with one another.

It is a shame because this show had the potential to not only be a resource for the woman on the show but to teach other women life skills at home as well.

I'm afraid I haven't heard much from the Universe lately.

You're right.....its become Real World meets Menopause. The women are being set up for conflict, not success.

I agree with your original post KitKat. No one in the house supports anyone (unless it's easy or benefits them personally) and no one from the show does anything about it. That's why the show will not continue. There is no teamwork. The current HG's overcompensate by being so gushy and phony with the over the top pet names and hugs and kisses. And then they back stab each other the minute they are out of sight. It's sad and sets a terrible example of women not supporting each other. We can only hope that women watching the show will learn what NOT to do and how NOT to behave.

The REAL problem I see is the honesty scale has been tipped for the sake of ratings and self-promotion by self-anointed 'coaches' and hg's with ulterior motives. What we have here are at least three hg's that are using the show for career opportunities and/or snagging a man. And, of course, we already know how lucrative it's been for the coaches.

The original concept has long been lost and SO has declined to one part reality to nine parts b.s.

So, my point being, when you screw with honesty ya never going to win and in the end the lie causes nothing but chaos and almost always backfires. That, imo, is why the show will be cancelled, and rightfully so.

I agree with you KitKat. Compassion is out and judgement is in. It ticks me off to hear these ladies talk about each other the way they do. They show no compassion and caring for each other.

I watched season 2 and I really found the show to be inspiring. But this season is more drama/conflict/soap opera than about healing and self discovery.

It seems like they don't do any meaningful exercises anymore. Most of the ladies don't seem to be doing any serious work on themselves. They act like they don't have any problems. I can't even remember the reason most of them are even there.

It's pretty pointless really. Why don't they just cut out the LC's and call the show "Big Brother for the Soap Opera Crowd" because that is what this is turning into. If this were Survivor I think all the HG would vote off Kim. Kelly would be sent to Exile Island. Jodi and Christie would have an alliance and Lisa2 would be the swing vote. LOL...at least then the show would be more authentic.

Maybe the LC's will address it in the next BOR. It has been a huge problem this year and the LC's talked to the original HG of this season about it and put them all on probation over it. Maybe they need to do it with this group as well.

I'm pretty much on the same track as all of you.I'm wondering if SO just doesn't care.If this is thier last season.They really seem to be dropping the ball in many areas.I am no expert of course.All the"I AM HERE FOR ME" is bull.Me Me Me.If it was all about one individual woman she would be in the house by herself.I personally watched the first two seasons to gain knowkedge in areas they cover.I now watch it for entertainment.The sad part is these are real peoples lives.Sad if you ask me.

I agree KitKat!
I think this season's antics were their last ditch effort to try to save the show!? There is little to no interpersonal relationship (HM) LC'ing going on,..in the end those HM's who really needed it (Kim, TJ) suffered..and the HG's personalities are really showing their ugly sides.

Well "Jstbnme" (sorry if I spelled wrong but) your prediction that it will be brought up in the next BOR, well lets just say we all know how that went! I have never in my 3 years of watching this show seen so many selfish,mean spirited, backstabbing woman, this season really just sucks at a time in the begining I took a 1:30 to 9:30 pm shift at work so I could watch I know that is sick & wrong but now I'm thinking of re-thinking the day shift cause this season just is not worth making any job changing decisions. JMHO!

short&sassy

I think Jodi, Lisa2 and Cassie show(ed) plenty of support, in general.

Kim and Christie are not as supportive as they could be. I think Kim has enough on her plate though and doesn't really know how to be supportive. While I think it would benefit Kim to work on this, I think there are things in her life that need to come first.

I also don't blame Kelly for her attitude. She is there to work on her goal/steps and while I think that learning to deal with Kim could only be a good thing, I can see her putting her original steps first. I think she sees it that if she goes home having met her goals, she will be a better person to herself and her family and will lead a better life. I don't think she sees the value in spending her time there working on a relationship (with Kim) that willl probably not mean anything to her outside of the house.

I think she could learn more from Kim or their conflict than Kelly is willing to but I can see where Kelly is coming from.

Zoey I partly agree. I realize that Kelly should work on her personal goals first and foremost. I believe that learning compassion for others and learning how to support and be supported will benifit her and her family in the future. That also goes for all the woman.

Most of the SOHG's may be ready to work on their issues, but I don't think Jodi is. If she's there to lose weight, why has she gained back the only pound she lost? And, why was she so defensive with the nutritionist? She needs to get busy eating right and exercizing, come up with a new issue, or leave.

I think i'm beginning to see the light with Jodi and her control and defensiveness and how it connects to everything in the house. She came in with goals that didn't sound like anything in particular. Fill the empty cup. Everyone else got specific - fix something that is broken in a relationship or a job or something like that. I have a feeling that she was probably acting so defensive or in such denial when they set her goals that she wouldn't let them write down the specifics about weight, her mother, father, men, babies, -- whatever she really came in the house to handle.

The problem is that she is controlling and to deal with her control she is going to resist and be defensive, deny, etc. For awhile she just blended into the house being the advice goddess. I think that was her way to avoid most of her own stuff. She worked on some stuff, but maybe not all of it. We don't know because it's not written down explicitly.

She's showing now how tough she can be to handle. I think it's just going to have to dawn on her that she has all the control already she doesn't need to force it. She just needs to choose what to do. The stuff Iyanla said today about effective leadership was on point. If Jodi could practice that somehow it would help. I took a great seminar once on Effective Facilitation and it really put in practice bringing out the best in others as opposed to telling people what to do. Life is so much better when you let go of other people's reins and just sit back and encourage them where they already shine.

I wanna come work for you, Twinkles.

Aww, thanks. You're hired Sharnina!

Well you know Jodie cried on Jill's shoulder today.
I was thinking I guess the first original HG were much
more supportive than these particular women,that are in the house now.

The women are all alike. They are shells of women who have never matured into adults, so these obscure "goals" have to be created to give them some relevance to the show. These "goals" aren't credible, so progress is never measurable. BOR'S are impossible and steps seem to be created after the fact.

I also think the real supportiveness came when they brought in all six characters at once ... it seemed that Jill, TJ, Jessica, etc. all had much more support for one another as they were together from Day One. While, granted, everyone grows and graduates at their own rate, so thus can't bring in six new ones at once all the time ... but this could be why these six don't seem to be "getting it" with each other as much.

Until three or four weeks into the season, the original six were so disconnected from one another that Rhonda and Iyania gave the SOH a collective C and assigned "accountability" partners. At Christina and Jessica's BOR, the grade was raised to a B. Maybe to justify giving Christina a C, but letting her stay?