URL: http://community.realitytvworld.com/cgi-sys/cgiwrap/rtvw2/community/dcboard.cgi
Forum: DCForumID91
Thread Number: 1241
[ Go back to previous page ]
Original Message
"Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by Pixeltalk on 03-13-06 at 05:56 PM
The DAW thread got me thinking about careers that the SO housemates have an aptitude for.

Kelly: Interrogator at Abu Ghraib prison or Guantanamo Bay; Howard Stern cohost

Jill: Like I said before, luggage tester for Samsonite OR editor for the Dictionary of Pop Psychology and Slang

Lisa1: Spokesperson for the "Ab Roller" exercise machine or new tennis partner for John McEnroe

Jodi: Sales of sex toys (maybe she could have Lisa as her partner in this venture)

Christina: Hollywood butt double

Any more?

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by JustBNMe on 03-13-06 at 07:35 PM
Jodi-prison warden

Lisa2 could clean the brown crap off Jill's nose when Jill finally removes it from IV's butt.

Allison could be a spokesperson for a wine company or a face on a poster of why people shouldn't drink.

Jessica could demonstrate a new brand of tissues in a store with all her crying and/or a new nasal spray so she wouldn't talk through her nose and sound all stuffed up all the time.

Christina a kindergarten art teacher

Lisa1 spokesperson for pepto bismol since she throws up all the time. Could also be a bed salesperson since she likes to lay around so much.

"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by EMTBGRL on 03-13-06 at 08:03 PM
Lisa1: Broke hooker. Cheap and lazy. OR, Macy's Dept. store window mannikin.
Lisa2: Elementary school classroom aide. Makes a lot of photocopies and takes a lot of orders from the staff. Eats lunch alone.
Kelly: One of Noah's daughters, or English royalty of yesteryear..either some Bible knowledge or English history required!
Jill: Hostess cupcakes spokesperson.
Christina: Magician's assistant in Las Vegas.
Jodi: Iron Chef challenger.
Kim: Talk show host for one week, until she realizes that the show really IS about "them," and quits blaming everyone for their lack of participation in making the show a success..
Melinda: Washed up marathon runner.
Vanessa: Skating With Celebrities judge.
Bethany: American Idol contestant who forgets the words in Week #1. Part Time Job at "Things Remembered"
Kimberlyn: Project Runway contestant.
Denise: California Klosets Representative.
Tess: Anger Management counselor.
Layne: The Invisible Woman. (Wasn't she supposed to be living in the house??)
Sommer: Dolly Grip.
TJ: Horse Whisperer
Jessica: Professional SOH extra.

How'm I doin'? Anyone else?

"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by pmfmpls on 03-14-06 at 00:00 AM
Part-time job at Things Remembered!!!! Hilarious!!!!
"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by petmama on 03-14-06 at 02:05 PM
Josie-DNA tester.
"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by maryellennaco on 03-14-06 at 04:15 PM
Girl, you are right on target!! What about Alliscam?? And Iguana?? Rhonda?? Keep 'em comin'!!
"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by EMTBGRL on 03-14-06 at 06:10 PM
Alliscam: After being rejected from "Up With People's Reunion Tour" (because they didn't believe she was 24) became an AmWay Representative, where she dreamed of liiiiiving on the top of the pyramid.

Rhonda: Permanent cast member of off-Broadway production of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" as Nurse Ratchett. Decides to live fearlessly by having a semi-passionate love affair with the stage director, the theater critic, and one of the other patients, and daring a tabloid to whine about it.

Iyanla: Published a book of platitudes that had a booksigning turnout of 100 people at a local Borders Books, and faded into obscurity. Made it into the Clearance Section of Borders, where it later sold for a proud $1.99 ea. Iguana collected $.07 cents of each sale in royalties. Sometimes appears on Oprah Winfrey show to kiss the feet of Toni Morrison.

"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by SOfan0221 on 03-15-06 at 08:51 PM
Kelly - The person you hire to help you break up with your significant other. She shows up at your soon to be ex's door and reads them the riot act.

Lisa1 - door stop. Not good for any other uses.

Kim - motor mouth. Put her in the mall with a sign that says if you can out talk me you win $500.

Andy Paige - Clown

Christina - pole dancer. Ohhh, yeah, already been there done that.

Christie - 1/2 of a book end. Can't sit up straight, always slouched over to the side - might as well be productive and hold up some books while slouched.

Iyanla - Darth Vaders mother. Luke, (heavy breathing) I am your mother.

Jodi - Official hugger of all newbies to SO

Melinda - Target for all Kim's anger. Paint bulls eye on her back for all the back stabbing she will get from daughter dearest.

Lisa2 - Dancing with the stars, Flamengco with George Hamilton

Jill - Hand puppeteer

TJ - hair model

Allison - Poster child for AA

Christie - Poster child #2 for AA

Cassie - model for future bobble head dolls. The hockey team in Duluth gave free bobble head dolls of the runaway bride, so why not SO's own bobble head?

Running out of ideas and American Idol is on so got to go.

"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by petmama on 03-16-06 at 04:33 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-16-06 AT 04:34 PM (EST)

Kim - Poster child #3 for AA.

Tess- Fork thrower.

"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by JustBNMe on 03-15-06 at 08:59 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-15-06 AT 09:00 PM (EST)

Iyanla could be the double for Donkey in the movie Shrek and Jodi could be a double for rocker Sammy Hagar. Melinda could have doubled in the past for the woman who played Mrs. Roper on tv's Three's Company. Christie could be the model for a new line of Halloween masks with her constant scowling and furrowing of her eyebrows. Allison could work on a horse farm since she is used to slinging crap around. Lisa1 could be a human pool cue and Lisa2 would make a great politician she agrees with whomever she is talking to and can't make up her mind.

"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by lovemydogdude on 03-17-06 at 02:29 AM
LAST EDITED ON 03-17-06 AT 02:30 AM (EST)

LMAO I luv u guyz

Lisatwit: Drano mascot
The new visual for software
Cold water washing promo *STOP the shrinkage!

Jill: Beeyotch training coach
Fame vs. pride failure
Anti-orange stripes spokeswoman

Allison: Always carry patches for your liferaft reminder
Waxing hurts less spokeswoman

Jessica: Take advantage of the moment..role model

TJ: This show sucks but I ROCK..evidence

Christina: Ask me HOW to..

Kim: Be STRONG!...the movie

Lisa2: How to make everyone feel sorry for you then hate you in less than 60days author

Jodi: Squeeze yourself into a size 6 ~ author
Dad SUCKS cuz he's a MAN ~author 2nd/last book

Christie: Cottage cheese model

Kelly: Electric fence salewoman
Is your waitress a shark ~ author
My son thinks I'm a pervert ~ author final attempt

Iyanla: Wicked tissues ~ soak yourself right here logo

Rhonda: Hairdye malfunction correction clinic

Andy: Goodwill store interior designer

"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by Twinkles on 03-17-06 at 09:09 AM
Iyanla: 3.99 a minute phone line, press 1 now for inspiring vapid thought of the day, press 2 now to just hear deep breathy voice say random thought

Jodi: correctional officer in womens prisons. takes bribes for lingering hugs.

Christie: bar fly
Lisa1: Country club ball washer
Lisa2: Telemarketer
Kim: baggage handler or bell hop
Jill: Pastry chef
Jessica: Product tester for personal care products at Kleenex
Kelly: Bouncer
Christina: Decoration, um, I mean, interior decorator.
Rhonda: excellent tour guide for spooky, scary sights of interest
Stan: part-time print model for blazers

"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by JustBNMe on 05-08-06 at 07:25 PM
Cassie could do a voiceover for the Teletubbies when she does her "uh-oh!" little girl voice and flaps her aroms around like they do
"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by Baxtera on 05-08-06 at 07:31 PM
Cassie: Children's program voice person

Kelly: Body guard for abused women

Antonia: Poetri's assistant she wouldn't do much but...

Allsion: IV's personal assistant following her on every trip waiting at her feet for personal drips of brilliance.

Christie: Tester for Consumer Reports she loves to whine and complain about things that don't work.

Jill: SO talk show host to take it to the air now it's gone off on TV. She'll present on air stories.

"RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Posted by Shazbot on 05-08-06 at 09:47 PM
Antonia - Tina Turner

(Really, I mean that in the best way. No slight against Tina Turner, whom I love).


Christie - Julia Roberts, with a life gone wrong, so very, very wrong.