In anticipation of Zingbot with his lame zings, it’s that time of the season when I offer some better ones of my own (I think.) Well here goes nothing...

NATALIE – You should have asked America to put a papoose in James care package. It would come in handy when he’s...CARRYING YOU. ZING!

JAMES – Please thank Production for casting Natalie. It was not easy finding you a shomance partner that is...YOUR HEIGHT PROPORTION. ZING!

NICOLE – You should start using the stairs more often now because you really need to...STEP up your game. ZING!

MICHELLE – It’s OK when you are a Have-Not. We can make the Have-Not food for the week cheese. It will go well with your...W(H)INE. ZING!

VICTOR – You are playing quite a good game of Big Brother; a good game if you like...SLOPPY SECONDS. ZING!

Speaking of sloppy seconds...COREY – So how many times has Nicole accidentally called you...HAYDEN. ZING!

PAULIE – If you’re still undecided whether you want a relationship with Zakiyah after the show, don’t worry; you’ll have plenty of time to discuss it...in the JURY HOUSE. ZING!

PAUL – Do you feel left out you are not involved in a shomance? Oh wait, I forgot about your...RUBBER DUCKY. ZING!

• RE: Return of the Zingbot,michel2, 10:42 PM, 08-16-16
  • RE: Return of the Zingbot,Aruba, 06:21 AM, 08-17-16
    • RE: Return of the Zingbot,michel2, 09:41 AM, 08-17-16
• RE: Return of the Zingbot,kingfish, 03:20 PM, 08-17-16
  • RE: Return of the Zingbot,michel2, 00:05 AM, 08-18-16
    • RE: Return of the Zingbot,kingfish, 08:57 AM, 08-18-16
      • RE: Return of the Zingbot,michel2, 10:24 AM, 08-18-16
        • RE: Return of the Zingbot,kingfish, 12:33 PM, 08-18-16
          • RE: Return of the Zingbot,kingfish, 08:23 AM, 08-19-16
            • RE: Return of the Zingbot,michel2, 11:14 AM, 08-22-16

Those are great, especially the ones for Corey and Nicole. I'll add mine:

Natalie: You were a "Have-Not" and now you are a "Have-a-Lot". The guys want to thank your surgeon.

James: You like to scare everyone with your pranks but your biggest prank is on Natalie's family.

Nicole: Maybe America should have sent you a game plan.

Michelle: Instead of crying in the DR and in the bedrooms, go outside and we won't have to water the lawn.

Victor: I didn't know "Victor" could mean "Loser" in Spanish.

Corey: I had a great zing for you but I don't think you'd get it.

Paulie: We really should have brought back Cody...

Paul: If you were "my boy" I'd tell you to shut up.

LOL, those are REALLY good additions! I don't know if Zingbot will appear tonight or tomorrow night, but when he does I'm sure his zings will be anti-climatic to the ones posted here.

I don't think I'll be able to catch Thursday's episode so if I don't hear him today I'll probably miss him.

Thanks, Aruba. I think he'll be there tonight.

Very funny, a definite improvement on Zingbot's writers who are incredibly lame, especially considering they get paid for their work. Here we have you two, for free, and much better.

Zingbot - Get new writers. (Not humorous, just a plea).

Zingbot - Please retire Jessie. (Again, a plea).

Natalie - Keep demonstrating what made you America's first favorite. Buns toasting in the sun. (Hey, I can say that, right? Because I'm anonymous. Right? Right.)

James - You're short and you eat a lot. (Yeah, I know, I just sank to Zingbot's level of wit).

Paulie - You aren't America's favorite, you aren't RTVW Basher's favorite (Heeeyyyyy, a plug), you aren't even a Calafiore family favorite. If you have a return ticket, just give it to your brother.

Paul - Screw you and the plastic horse you floated in on.

Corey - Texas A&M has a special present for you. An all expense paid one way ticket to Texas University.

Nicole - Ayund...Nicole, we also have a special request for you, get a voice equalizer and turn down the treble, my dog starts humping my leg whenever you speak.

Michele - Canada is calling, it seems Niagara Falls needs more water.

Victor -
"The rubber man of rebound land,
Catch the return ticket if you can,
If you can't make them say,
Come la merda, sus pinches putos güeys."

(My Mexican swearing could probably use a little work).

I'm not sure if you'll agree but I think we had noticeable improvement by the bot. I thought he was particularly good with NiCorey, Michelle and Paul. The problem came from the "headlines" during the comp. Now those were lame.

LAST EDITED ON 08-18-16 AT 09:45 AM (EST)

There was some improvement. I wish they would modify that electronic voice, some of what was said was intelligible to me.

Agreed. I had to record the episode and needed to rewind a few times. I thought Paul and Michelle's reactions to the zings were very good while others like Nicole were lame.

I don't claim to be a technical comedic expert, but that voice just isn't funny to me. It's anti-funny. A professional voice over talent (not a big star necessarily) would be a big improvement. Or even a previous hamster, I'm thinking even Frank could deliver those line reasonably well. I kinda hate to say thins, but Nicole's voice, even as high as it is, has a comedic quality.

I agree about Michele's and Paul's responses. Was particularly amused by Michele, but the Zing can partially redeem himself in my eyes if keeps that plastic whatever (I'm thinking it's a pelican?) that Paul gave him.

It occurred to me that what would work pretty well is if they just gave the Zingbot a voice like R2D2, beeps and whistles, and subtitled the jokes. Then they would at least be intelligible.

They seem very attached to that old tin can. It has a very retro look as if it was taken from a 1960s sci-fi TV show (Danger! Danger!) They really should bring it into the new millenium and give it a normal voice.