...she once stood in front of a clock for nearly an hour, waiting to feed the cuckoo......she lost a chess game in the HoH room. To the fish...
...when someone asked her if she was a dyed blonde, she ran to the mirror and spent five minutes making sure she was still breathing...
...she's the one person on the planet who actually understands what It is saying...
...she keeps asking when the salespeople are going to come in and start discussing rental on the time-share...
...Twitter asked Endemol not to have her as HoH because people thought a mentally challenged cat was walking on the keyboard...
...she protested prime-time animation under the belief Fred Flintstone is gay...
...she spent the last week searching the pool equipment storage bin for an extra houseguest named Jack...
...she's already been tapped as the show's next host...
Next?
"...she spent the last week searching the pool equipment storage bin for an extra houseguest named Jack..."LOL!
...she puts on glasses to watch 20/20 and it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes....if you gave her tickets to the Superbowl she would show up with a large spoon.
...she'd put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
...if she won a car on Big Brother she'd sell it for gas money.
...her breasts would be square because she'd forget to take the kleenex out of the box to complete against Laura.
...if someone put a Scratch-N-Sniff sticker on the bottom of the Big Brother pool she'd drown.
...that when surfing the internet she'd ask Braden to borrow his wetsuit.
LAST EDITED ON 07-20-09 AT 12:04 PM (EST)...she's been practicing her bird calls because she heard that you have to Twitter when you're HOH.
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Coolest Siggie Ever thx Tribe! 2008
...she happily took a grand prize check for $5000 after the producers told her they'd been playing for pennies all along.An HK night: best of the worst.
...she interrupted her own speech by yelling "you lie!"
and yet she won. Amazing?
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Agman 2009
Well, it was between her and Nata-LIE for the win. I wouldn't pick Nata-LIE if she was the last person on this earth!
'A year is nine months long! Except for September, which has six weeks.'
Like no time has passed at all.
OH NO!
I still love her, I know I shouldn't, but she is just so naive.
Her latest admission: she doesn't know what estrogen is. Nor does she understand how hormones work. That's right: Jordan may not have understood her own puberty. I'm now waiting to ask Jeff just when his period starts: they've known each other for nearly eight wemodays and she thinks he's overdue.If she ever becomes pregnant, someone had better spend nine months reading medical textbooks to her stomach. That kid needs the ability to get out on hir own.
She refers to her flatulence as a bun in the oven. THAT'S where her confusion lies.
OH NO!
side note: This was referred to as a dutch oven, later.
Of course this is memorable to me because my stepmonster would pull the same thing on my dad (and their bedroom). It would start as a bun in the dutch oven and expand to a bomb in the dutch oven.Having a bun in a dutch oven is MUCH different than a bun in your own oven. Right?
*sits with Buggy
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Floating my cares away with Agman - 2011
I really enjoyed the There's no such thing as space cows speech
Me too. I am so glad she clarified that for me.
A good friend once said to me, "You know the average IQ is not much above retarded." Sadly, Jordan proves this point.
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Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
...upon being told she should consider going out for the LPGA, she spent the next three hours explaining why she wasn't a Lesbian Preying on Girls in Alabama.
LAST EDITED ON 07-16-11 AT 01:21 PM (EST)
I bet she doesn't even know what Demasculize means.
(LPGA? And here all along I thought that Alabama women golfers ignored me because my driver wasn't long enough. Makes me feel a little better.)
LAST EDITED ON 07-16-11 AT 02:23 PM (EST)I'm sure Jordan will say she knows what "demasculize" means. She does it every time she washes her eye makeup off.
...she thinks Sacajawea is a Bag of Jawea.(Stolen from Chuck Lorre. Without remorse but with thanks).
Now that I'm done spraying my coffee at you jokers above me, those are high~larious BTW.Jordan is so dumb.......i got nothing....
Although I'm starting to think that Jeff is going to give her a run for the title.
OH NO!
Jordan is so dumb that I laugh every time she says something that makes sense!
>boink<
OH NO!
Jordan can walk and chew gum at the same time!Really, who knew?
The DR must have thrown a party when that one came out.
At least she was smart enough to listen to Jeff and not go on slop for 2 weeks. OMG.
Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie
That only happened because someone told Jeff the slop was gay. Or turned people gay. Or was being served in public schools. I forget which.
...she can think like David Hasselhoff!
Don't hassle the Hoff! Just add the Hoff to the list of Jordanites.
OH NO!
Bleep the Hoff! He's dumber than Jordan, for Pete's sake.
KITT was the brains of Knight Rider anyway.
OH NO!