Apparently I was channeling Gilby Clarke last night – several times I wrote something down…and then he said it. Overall, better than last week, but there’s still a lot of chaff in there.

Much Love:
Dilana – Zombie: This woman is a freak, and I love her. She continues to be the most memorable & interesting. Not the best singer (by a long shot), but absolutely the best performer (also by a long shot).

Toby – Runaway Train: I still love this guy, but he stumbled a tiny bit tonight. I think I understand what he was trying to do by doing a “ballad,” but I think it was too soon to soften things up when the guys keep asking the others to be harder. He also made a big mistake by blocking half his face for the whole song. You need your face. Great voice though, and he’s still right at the top for me.

Yeah!
Patrice (up from Eh) – Helter Skelter: Wow! for the first time, Patrice really impressed me. She didn’t come off as somebody-lite. She’s a good singer, could use a little more presence, but I really liked this.

Phil (up from Eh) – White Rabbit: Hey! Another one that really impressed me for the first time. This song really suited him, and he clearly took the band’s advice – his movement was much stronger. I was also impressed that he didn’t seem to really know the song well when he picked it, but he got a lot of lyrics out without a stumble. Yay!

OK Then!
Magni (up from Eh) – Plush: He sounded really good – much better. I wonder if the coaching session gave him ‘permission’ to sing more than yell. However, I still find him a bit of a snooze, and the GINORMOUS sunglasses were a mistake – Like Toby needs his face, Magni needs his eyes, especially with an emotive song. (I mean that everyone needs eyes & face, it’s just that Toby & Magni covered them up.)

Eh
Storm – Just What I Needed: Eh. She’s ok, I guess. She feels contrived to me – stroking the mic stand? I’m not against planning a movement, but try not to make it look planned. The ‘growl’ part of her voice is badly placed, and therefore sounds like a different singer than her ‘regular’ voice. I guess I just don’t like her.

Ryan (down from Yeah!) – Fortunate Son: Ryan’s losing me. He still sounds good, I guess. But he’s got a perma-scowl – looks like he’s not having any fun (and then Gilby said it).

Josh (down from OK Then!) – Come as You Are: Another one that’s completely losing me. Didn’t believe that at all. AND he’s got a ton of vocal tics/over-stylization that make me nuts – his placement is WAY too far back, he spreads his mouth sideways (smiley) rather than a vertically & relaxed. And like Storm, because the technique is bad, each sound he produces sounds like a different person. That’s not good. I hope they continue to have vocal clinics.

Jill (up from We Suck) – All Right Now: Well, she didn’t suck as badly as last week. She really does have a good voice, and seems to know how to use it, but she OVER SINGS like crazy (and then Gilby said it). She also doesn’t seem to have any dynamics/levels/variety to her performance. Maybe because she couldn’t impersonate a female singer this week. Still don’t like her.

Lucas – Let’s Spend the Night Together: I really can’t stand this guy. His little drama-queen act in the reality episode really turned me off. To make a big scene about not fighting because he can sing anything…and then he gritched about the song he ended up with. As for his performance, he hasn’t loosened up his voice, and the chewy diction makes me nuts. I understand that in rock songs you don’t want perfect diction, but he purposely mangles his diction. On the slow part he sounded like the Tazmanian Devil on ludes. He’s even more affected than Josh.

We Suck
Jenny – Drive: Here’s Folk Gurrl! My first thought was, “They’d better tell her to rock harder after telling Toby (& others).” My second thought was, “This is Lilith Faire.” And then Gilby said it. She’s still not breathing. I would like to have seen what the vocal coach had to say about that.

Dana – It’s My Life: I LOVE talk box!!! *sigh* Reminds me of Peter Frampton. He was sooo dreamy when I was in Jr. High (Sgt Pepper anyone?). This house band is still the most amazing thing about this show. Oh – and Dana was singing. Yes, she can sing (usually), but she’s completely unbelievable. PLUS, this was just bad. She over-sang on one of the big parts, which threw her off-pitch, and she didn’t recover. The 2nd half was an out-of-tune mess.

Zayra – Everybody Hurts: I (like Gilby) thought she should have gone last week. She found new shades of suck. However, their call, they let her stay…so she picks THIS?!?! I like the song, it’s just that when the band is questioning your ability to do dirty rock & roll, why are you singing a soulful ballad? Plus, she just doesn’t sing well. It’s very easy to just blast a loud note, but singing soflty takes skill. Her soft singing was really weak, she was barely in control. Better than last week (periodontal surgery is better than Zayra last week), but she still doesn’t belong here. I got the impression that the guys didn’t really want to spend too much time talking to her.

Bottom 3:
Jenny
Zayra
(should be) Dana

Encore: Dilana

Since the question came up last week about the value of the criticism by the band & Dave, I took extensive (ima geek) notes on what the guys had to say to each singer. MOST of it was very clear & constructive. There was a little bit of Randy-ish "you killed it" kinda stuff -- but since they frequently said MORE than that, it's not the same as Randy. Yes, Tommy had several of his Pig-Clown moments. BUT, Tommy also said some constructive stuff.

1. Dilana – The Cranberries “Zombie”
Of course, I've been yelping this one into a hairbrush mike for years, but she did her usual awe-inspiring job, and managed to mostly refrain from the wonderful, but inimitable, celtic seal barking from the original version. Sneetch is now a convert, too.

2. Zayra Alvarez – REM “Everybody Hurts”
I actually didn't hate "You Really Got Me" as much as everyone else. I don't see her fronting a rock band in a zillion years, but she has this nifty Bjorkish quality. What surprised me about how much I liked this song was that I HATE this song. I like REM and I really HATE HATE HATE this song. This song is such an am-radio-touchy-feely-pissy-moany-ghastly-flatulent-hallmark-card-rod-mckuen-poem of an awful awful song. Wait, have I mentioned that I hate the song? But Zayra invested it with an individual flair -- she de-whined it!-- and I liked it *gasps* better than the original. Sneetch agreed. We were starting to worry about what's in the Koolaid at this point.

3. Lukas Rossi – The Rolling Stones “Let’s spend the night Together”
He's great. Yeah yeah yeah. I just can't get over the resemblance to the Children of the Corn kid.

4. Magni – Stone Temple Pilots “Plush”
I always give the guy extra props because I like to say "Reykjavik." I also sing the hell out of this song via hairbrush (no, really, ask my neighbors...they just adore my Stone Temple stylings of an evening). He did it fine.

5. Storm Large – The Cars “Just what I needed”
It all really goes from "eh" on down here for me. Great song, perfectly acceptable version, hot chick, but we all know how easy this is to sing. This is the Joy of Cars. See "ask my neighbors" notes above.

6. Toby Rand – Soul Asylum “Runaway Train”
Another song that does less than zero for me. And then sticks in my head. He did a perfectly pleasant, mediocre job of it.

7. Ryan Star – Creedence Clearwater Revival “Fortunate Son”
Only because I want to put Jill Gioia as low as I possibly can.

8. Dana Andrews – Bon Jovi “It’s my Life”
High school talent competition.

9. Jill Gioia – Free “All right Now”
Her best so far. But I still loathe her.

10. Patrice Pike – The Beatles “Helter Skelter”
Hard to botch. She came close.

11. Jenny Galt – Incubus “Drive”
The Lillith Fair(e?) remark was dead on. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I hear Kim Carnes blowing rasberries.

12. Josh Logan – Nirvana “Come as you Are”
Jeezus, I hate that LA/Counting Crows/back of the tonsils whinesinging.

13. Phil Ritchie – Jefferson Airplane “White Rabbit”
Sorry, Glow, but I thought this SUCKED. SUCKED. I thought he failed to bring any presence to the song, which is ALL about performance, really. I'm not sure he even knew the words. This was a chance to step up and he floundered. To be fair, it was probably nerve-wracking to have Metallica Dood go up there and whale the bass line, but then, isn't that what this competition is about? How well you will front Metallica Dood, et al? Just think what Dilana or even Lukas would have made of that song. Anyway, I am in the minority, I know (although Sneetch agreed, damnit, and she's hundreds of years younger and hipper than I), but to me, Phil's was by the far the most painful performance of the evening.

*ducks and runs*

You just described, in every way and to a tee, my feelings about "Everybody Whines." And pretty much my reaction to Zayra's take. I still didn't like her. Her pitch was off, etc., but it made me consider a different version of the song that could be *gasp* good. I'd never ever ever have thought it.

Lukas - is at the top of my list this week. I love his stage presence. And I think anyone that is going to front this band has to be a bit of a prima dona to not get overlooked by Tommy Lee's larger than life persona.

Phil - surprised me by being my #2 this week. Of course I'm sure Jason helped put him up there. I loved this performance. I hear Phil ended up with a split lip when he was head banged by Jason. But it was the first time I felt Phil was trying this hard to be right for the band.

Dilana - I was a little disappointed this week. I expected more considering she performs this song in concert all the time. Maybe I am getting used to her and need something different from her.

Magni - this was a very good performance from him. I did not like him the first week. But he seems to have listened to the advice and he has toned down the crazy facial expressions that turned me off.

Toby - really dropped off for me this week. In fact if I hadn't of liked him so much the last couple weeks he would have been further down this list. But I am giving him a break and thinking maybe it was a poor song choice for him. But he needs to step it up next week.

Patrice - I thought she did a very good job. Could have done with a little less of the smiling. But I liked her performance.

Ryan - I don't think this was as bad as SN seemed to. They really do give Ryan a hard time. Makes me wonder why.

Storm - I find her falling down my list. I really liked her alot the first week. But it seems she is getting very theatrical. Her facial expressions and Those Eyes. Reminds me so much of how Suzie would do the Big Eyes during some songs and really annoy me last season. I want Storm to settle down and just sing. She has a great voice.

Jill - I guess she is a good singer. But I just don't like her. Doubt she can turn that around unless I hear of her saving a litter of puppies from drowning in the pool.

Josh - he just is not going to win this thing. He smiles when he shouldn't. And that crazy accent or whatever he did with his voice lastnight just didn't sound right. I kept comparing him to JD's version last season. And Josh was nowhere near that. Why did he fight for this?

Jenny - I think she needs to join Josh in that coffee house. She is talented at her type of singing. But it's oh so wrong for this band. I think she will continue to be in the bottom group until she goes home.

Zayra - lastnight was a better performance for her. But she is also so very wrong for this band. I think she wandered into the wrong audition. It was her best lastnight. But that is still only average to me.

Dana - please take her away. Lastnight she didn't even bring a good voice to the song. She is never going to be right for this band. And I believe SN is begging the audience to put her in the bottom 3 so they can send her home. It is getting painful watching her up there with no idea how wrong she is.

"Jill - I guess she is a good singer. But I just don't like her. Doubt she can turn that around unless I hear of her saving a litter of puppies from drowning in the pool."

I'm right there with ya on that one. Except for me it's "I.just.DO.NOT. like her."

“Music has been my best friend my whole life, because music doesn’t betray you.” - Lukas Rossi