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Thread Number: 272
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Original Message
"Desmond *spoilers*"
Posted by mrc on 09-22-05 at 11:51 AM
FILLER**********************************************************
**********************************************************FILLER

You guys won't believe this, but I have a cousin who is working as a grip for the Lost crew. I haven't mentioned him before b/c I didn't want him to get in trouble. But I can't contain myself anymore. Plus, he owes me money.

According to Luigi (my cousin), Desmond's background actually tells us everything that we need to know about the show. If you don't want to know, DON'T READ BELOW!!!!!







Desmond was on a global reality TV show that combines all of the elements of the genre. He was sent on an Amazing Race (he confirmed that to Jack) that took him to a Survivor island (obviously), where he was placed in a Big Brother "house" (hatch) in order to prepare for competition in an American Idol/America's Next Top Model (the music and the 'roids tell all) contest.

He was the winner, but, unbeknownst to the plane crash survivors, their job is to "vote" in a Bachelorette to join Desmond in the hatch. Kate, obviously, is the winner, but in a fall of secret twists, the mastermind behind this whole reality show is going to reveal that Desmond and Jack are actually brothers. (Desmond unconsciously already knows about this relationship, explaining his use of the term "brutha" with Jack.) Kate has to choose which one she wants to take on a Love Cruise. (That's where Walt and Co. unknowingly were sent for a little R&R, BTW. They're fine.)

The real twist is that as Jack and Desmond essentially begin Starting Over as brothers, the producers, in the biggest secret of the fall, reveal to viewers that this whole production has actually been a Joe Schmo-like show in which Locke has been the victim of a huge prank. He actually isn't a hero, he didn't win the money, and he has to return to his job at the box factory. Oh, and the whole healing thing? Temporary.

In the biggest reveal of the season, the mastermind behind this implausible scenario introduces himself. His name:

*SPOILER WARNING*

Webby.

At least this is what Luigi tells me.

Ferociously purrfected by thndrkttn
FTR, I liked last night's episode.

Table of contents
  • *snort*,Breezy, 11:53 AM, 09-22-05
    • RE: *snort*,mrc, 12:24 PM, 09-22-05
  • RE: Desmond *spoilers*,dragonflies, 12:40 PM, 09-22-05
    • RE: Desmond *spoilers*,CattyChat, 12:45 PM, 09-22-05
  • RE: Desmond *spoilers*,Bebo, 01:04 PM, 09-22-05
    • RE: Desmond *spoilers*,mrc, 01:16 PM, 09-22-05
  • Wrong!,Devious Weasel, 01:08 PM, 09-22-05
    • Disagree,mrc, 01:15 PM, 09-22-05
  • RE: Desmond *spoilers*,mrc, 01:11 PM, 09-22-05
    • RE: Desmond *spoilers*,Bebo, 02:05 PM, 09-22-05
  • Hello?,zombiebaby, 03:31 PM, 09-22-05
    • RE: Hello?,mrc, 08:06 AM, 09-23-05
  • Clones,trigirl, 01:08 PM, 09-23-05
    • RE: Clones,mrc, 01:52 PM, 09-23-05
Messages in this discussion
"*snort*"
Posted by Breezy on 09-22-05 at 11:53 AM
Decided to go from parody songs to conspiracy theories?

*smooch*


I agree with MRC.

"RE: *snort*"
Posted by mrc on 09-22-05 at 12:24 PM
If I had posted under my REAL screen-name, ChillOne, you wouldn't be mocking me.


Ferociously purrfected by thndrkttn
I'm a Renaissance man.

"RE: Desmond *spoilers*"
Posted by dragonflies on 09-22-05 at 12:40 PM
I wasn't going to read this cause I don't want to be spoiled. Oh, wait, I am already spoiled. But I clicked on it by accident. Anway, thanks for blowing the whole season for me dood.

Slice & Dice Sigpic Chop Shop 2005

I Ain't Skeerd.

"RE: Desmond *spoilers*"
Posted by CattyChat on 09-22-05 at 12:45 PM
>"Anway, thanks for blowing the whole season for me dood."

Yeah, if this post were actually right the whole series has been blown. Very creative conspiracy theory, though, using almost every reality t.v. show connection. A+ on original inplausible plot line.

"RE: Desmond *spoilers*"
Posted by Bebo on 09-22-05 at 01:04 PM
I won't believe you until I see him reading his letter from Ivette.

| |

"RE: Desmond *spoilers*"
Posted by mrc on 09-22-05 at 01:16 PM
Webby is bacon?

Ferociously purrfected by thndrkttn

"Wrong!"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 09-22-05 at 01:08 PM
LAST EDITED ON 09-22-05 AT 01:12 PM (EST)

You are close with your theory, but you are wrong and I will prove it. Desmond is obviously Desmond Child, formerly of the band Desmond Child and Rouge, writer of such songs as I Was Made For Loving You, You Give Love A Bad Name, Dude Looks Like A Lady, I Hate Myself For Loving You, La Vida Loca, and, most importantly, She Bangs. Mr. Child also wrote a bunch of songs for Kelly Clarkson’s first album.

I will let that sink in. She Bangs. Kelly Clarkson.

Cause we all know who, or should I say WHAT, made She Bangs famous. And we all know what made Kelly Clarkson famous.

But see, they couldn’t just come out and call it celebrity Idol. I don’t need to go into the reasons for that. And it isn’t so much about the singing, as it is the ability to survive. And they couldn’t call it survivor idol. No, they had to call it something else. But the format is still the same.

Desmond is one of our three judges. But who are the other two you ask. And rightly so.

Well, one of our judges has to be an older woman with an exotic sounding name like Paula Abdul or Danielle Rousseau. And one of our judges has to be a black male with a name that use to be common but isn’t anymore, like Randy or Walt.

I’m glad I could clear this up for all of you.



"Disagree"
Posted by mrc on 09-22-05 at 01:15 PM
Dear naive Dweezil. *shakes head*

I think you are mistaking She Bang with Inho Bang, which blows your whole theory out of the water.

Ferociously purrfected by thndrkttn

"RE: Desmond *spoilers*"
Posted by mrc on 09-22-05 at 01:11 PM
Did I mention that Locke would have become Webby's Apprentice if he had figured all this out? Man, that dood tanked!

Ferociously purrfected by thndrkttn

"RE: Desmond *spoilers*"
Posted by Bebo on 09-22-05 at 02:05 PM
I would have made him my Apprentice, but he just doesn't fit in. I did write him a nice goodbye letter, though.

| |


"Hello?"
Posted by zombiebaby on 09-22-05 at 03:31 PM
Pffft...sooo obvious.

Desmond never won immunity so he gets a chance to come back to the island and be their tool.

If you notice he was holding the gun in his right hand and if you count his fingers he has 5! 5 I say on that hand.

5 fingers=5 letters=Webby!


You are just trying to get away from that above average label! Brutha Bustah!

"RE: Hello?"
Posted by mrc on 09-23-05 at 08:06 AM
I think zombs has discovered a very important clue. This deserves more study.

My question is this: is Danielle the Stephenie to Desmond's Bobby Jon?

Ferociously purrfected by thndrkttn

"Clones"
Posted by trigirl on 09-23-05 at 01:08 PM
Explain to me Weasy, how the clones twins fit it. I saw Kami and Karli with Derek and Drew in the previews for next week.


"RE: Clones"
Posted by mrc on 09-23-05 at 01:52 PM
Dweezil has proven himself to be an inferior spoiler. Worship me, not him!

Ferociously purrfected by thndrkttn
He does look better in a trenchcoat, though.