Randy Jackson is finally and officially done as a judge -- but that just means he was demoted to mentor. How can you be a mentor when you haven't had a single piece of helpful criticism or advice in years? That's a good question. I'm glad you asked that question, especially since no one at the show did or ever will. They just think they need him to hold the thing together. So the man sweats glue. Good to know.

Normally this would be a good time to look back on Randy's memorable Idol moments and contributions to the genre. And in fact, it is a good time. So who's got one to contribute for the memory wall?

*silence*

*more silence*

*embarrassing silence*

...yeah.

So what happens to Jimmy? Well, he said something critical. I'm guessing the body will wash up in three days.