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Thread Number: 38482
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Original Message
"Men creating God in their own image"
Posted by Estee on 07-21-14 at 04:22 PM
'I would never make anything other than humans intelligent in the universe, because as a human, I am the most special thing there is and am determined to remain so. But if I did anyway... then I would create them to burn, making them beyond any hope of salvation. Every last one of them would be born only to be damned, with no power in the universe which could change that -- and that most especially means Jesus. Because that way, I'm even more special than I was a minute ago. And I'm the most special thing ever. Don't you agree?'

Allow me to congratulate Mr. Ham, because it takes a very special man indeed to turn eternal damnation into the moral choice/

http://www.mediaite.com/online/creationist-ken-ham-aliens-will-go-to-hell-so-really-why-fund-nasa/

But the good news is, he'll be burning with the rest of us.

Descendants Of Adam only? Okay. No problem. So... was Adam white?

And he created a cosmic bigot.

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Men creating God in their own image"
Posted by cahaya on 07-21-14 at 04:48 PM
Well, Pope Francis himself said that he'd offer to baptize any Martians who might happen visit.

Saved!

"RE: Men creating God in their own image"
Posted by Estee on 07-21-14 at 04:53 PM
It's comforting to know it'll be at least a two-sided holy war.

Sort of.

And would someone explain to me how alien life would prove evolution as opposed to 'Why stop with one Eden?' Also, I kind of need a Biblical leg up on the Jesus-As-Humans-Only-Bigot thing. If anyone's got a moment.

"RE: Men creating God in their own image"
Posted by cahaya on 07-21-14 at 06:20 PM
It is estimated that there are at least 70 sextillion or 7 × 1022 stars in the Universe, most of them within 100 billion galaxies, of which the Milky Way is one.

There seems to be no question that early life spontaneously sprung up on Earth with water and an atmosphere, along with carbon-based chemistry. And this life evolved over a few billion years, resulting in us human beings.

What are the odds, really? Scientists have put forth their conjectures based on astrophysics, chemistry and biology. Provided that a planet has the right environment and rich chemistry, the odds look pretty good for life to evolve on that planet. Will they be intelligent? It took Earth at least three billion years to come up with us, so even if it takes a lot of time, intelligent life is an emergent phenomena from evolution of life over a very long period of time. The Universe (as we know it) has probably been around for more than 13 billion years, so that's plenty of time to work with.

As for the religious implications of this? No comment.

"RE: Men creating God in their own image"
Posted by kingfish on 07-21-14 at 05:08 PM
LAST EDITED ON 07-22-14 AT 04:38 PM (EST)

So, now there is a concession that the rest of the universe does actually exist? We are now definitely all in agreement in regard to that?

Ok, then.

Progress.

Now, let's address the descendants of Adam in all those parallel universes. And all those possible different Adam, Moses, Abraham, David, Jesus etc. variations. In at least one, Moses didn't get all the way across the Red Sea. Are NASA et.al. scientists trying to prove that these places exist in order to verify that those invented bullcrap (sorry, I let a little bias show. Sorry) creationism theories don't exist?

Those sneaky little bastards (whoops, going to hell for that one too I guess).

Actually, is there a loophole? Can I declare myself to be an alien? Maybe I won't get to heaven, but I might dodge eternity in hell.

Klingon vowels are pretty hard to pronounce, so I don't know.

Stopping here. Mr. Ham is a nutcase.

"Jesus, take the defense counsel seat."
Posted by Estee on 07-22-14 at 03:08 PM
http://www.mediaite.com/online/driving-woman-asks-jesus-to-take-the-wheel-it-doesnt-go-well/

Not a particularly good week in deityhood.

"RE: Jesus, take the defense counsel seat."
Posted by cahaya on 07-22-14 at 03:17 PM
Let me guess, she was playing Carrie Underwood's song on the car CD while she did that.

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

"RE: Jesus, take the defense counsel seat."
Posted by kingfish on 07-22-14 at 04:50 PM
I don't know, I mean, I think I would like for Jesus to be my chauffeur. He would have to learn to drive a bit better than he did with that woman.

But for instance, free wine, right? And he could probably whip up some brewskies. Or maybe even an incredibly old single malt. With fish. Sushi.

You could always close the divider if he got too preachy.

"RE: Men creating God in their own image"
Posted by Colonel Zoiderg on 07-23-14 at 09:48 AM
>Descendants Of Adam only? Okay.
> No problem. So...
> was Adam white?

If I'm not mistaken, the Bible described Adam as having skin "the color of lentils." Which means there are three possibilities, and the bigots won't like any of them.

The most obvious is brown, and God knows we can't have that. The second? Red. Well, that means Adam was American Indian. Does that means we retcon the name "Redskins" to honor residents of the Garden of Eden? Because that would take the whole controversy to a level of absurdity the world has not seen since...I dunno, probably more recently than we'd all care to admit.

The third possibility, and the one that would make this guy's head explode the fastest?

Green.

"RE: Men creating God in their own image"
Posted by kingfish on 07-23-14 at 10:11 AM
I favor white. Adam the albino. Well, pinkish maybe, but no need to split any white hairs. It was probably Eve that had the genes for skin pigment.

(An aside: RIP Johnny Winter).

I changed my mind. I now favor Redskin. Most Southerners like me would like it if Adam was like us, and so I hereby declare that he probably was.

Agreed, given his stance on aliens, his head would explode if Adam happened to have been green. Mine would throb a bit also.

"RE: Men creating God in their own image"
Posted by newsomewayne on 07-23-14 at 01:42 PM
I think finding out Adam's skin was green would make anyone's head explode.

The other two wouldn't bother him a bit.


Stomach-turning sigs by Sharnina, 2007

"RE: Men creating God in their own image"
Posted by Estee on 07-23-14 at 02:23 PM
I feel it's entirely reasonable to conjecture that if living in an ideal garden where you wouldn't eat the entirely friendly animals and some of the produce was terminally off limits, Adam might have been forced to process sunlight.
"Ann Coulter to Christians: don't act by your own standards."
Posted by Estee on 07-24-14 at 07:59 AM
LAST EDITED ON 07-24-14 AT 08:00 AM (EST)

http://www.mediaite.com/online/coulter-flips-at-catholics-helping-migrant-children-you-want-to-be-a-moral-show-off/

So this particular representative for the Party Of Jesus is fine with everything the Bible says, as long as no one ever tries to do any of the positive stuff.

Also, while I'm at it, a salute to Glenn Beck for also realizing these are kids and acting accordingly.

Yes, it's that kind of situation where Glenn Beck can be in the moral right. If we find one where Coulter is, let me know so the apocalypse can begin.

"RE: Ann Coulter to Christians: don't act by your own standards."
Posted by Colonel Zoiderg on 07-24-14 at 12:44 PM
Ann Coulter: just add multi-colored signs and mocking death, and you have instant Fred Phelps.
"RE: Ann Coulter to Christians: don't act by your own standards."
Posted by dabo on 07-24-14 at 08:47 PM
foul language ahead
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1seThIG34R8
"RE: Ann Coulter to Christians: don't act by your own standards."
Posted by cahaya on 07-24-14 at 09:05 PM
As soon as I saw the 30 second advertisement, I closed the window.
"RE: Ann Coulter to Christians: don't act by your own standards."
Posted by dabo on 07-24-14 at 09:43 PM
"Skip Ad" didn't come up for you?
It's a cartoon.

Anyway, since y'all don't get it no matter how many times I refer to her as "She Whose Name Must Not Be Mentioned" -- henceforth she shall simply be:

Great Cow of the Dummiverse.

"RE: Ann Coulter to Christians: don't act by your own standards."
Posted by cahaya on 07-24-14 at 10:37 PM
Hah! Okay, I watched it. Sorry I'm so allergic to you know who, the unmentionable.

I'd title this clip "Shades of Color".

"The Islam side of this."
Posted by Estee on 07-24-14 at 01:37 PM
I am now just about at the point of feeling we should outright nuke ISIS with no concerns about civilian deaths because given the choice between living under that insanity or being turned into a cloud of radioactive dust, there is an argument to be made for the nuke as the merciful option. Shorter-term suffering, less pain, and at least it's over.

Mandatory genital mutilation. Eleven years old and up. Their version of a deity said so.

It will get worse from here.

"RE: The Islam side of this."
Posted by cahaya on 07-24-14 at 09:02 PM
Good luck. You'd have to nuke a lot of square miles and take everyone else with them.

Then there's the Boko Haram.

"Consider yourself lucky"
Posted by cahaya on 07-24-14 at 09:45 PM
LAST EDITED ON 07-24-14 AT 09:55 PM (EST)

And he created a cosmic bigot.

That which gives energy to life can also deal death.

Washington (AFP) - Back in 2012, the Sun erupted with a powerful solar storm that just missed the Earth but was big enough to "knock modern civilization back to the 18th century," NASA said.

Ra, Ra, Hellfire!