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Original Message
"So, I Guess No Estee Review?"
Posted by kidflash212 on 09-03-12 at 02:20 PM
LAST EDITED ON 09-03-12 AT 02:34 PM (EST)

I'm almost impressed. It can't be easy to post the worst opening weekend for a movie ever.

The Oogieloves Big Balloon Adventure holds the ignominious title after this weekends lousy opening. I should have gone to see it - I've always wanted to be the only person in an entire theater.

I wonder what an oogielove is and how in H-E-double hockey sticks did they ever get a movie released in the first place?


Capn2patch put me in motion!

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Messages in this discussion
"RE: So, I Guess No Estee Review?"
Posted by Estee on 09-03-12 at 03:02 PM
I didn't realize just seeing the commercials would be enough to kill it. I'd figured it was based on a specialist channel property (first guess: Sprout) which I'd never heard of and everyone in the circle cared too much to tell me about. As it turns out, the only place these things ever appeared was in a series of public service announcements. Apparently the creator thought people would remember those. And he's the -- mind? -- person? -- visionary? -- torture artist behind the Teletubbies, so you'd think he'd know a little more about attention spans.

This, BTW, was not the worst opening weekend for a movie ever. Remember The Hottie And The Nottie? Don't. And this list is painfully instructive: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_notable_box_office_bombs But when it comes to total box office against number of screens (two thousand), advertising spent, and the sheer cost of the movie? Then you get the champion. $60,000,000 spent -- $674,000 back. From the studio that brought you Bloodrayne! Good luck with that DVD!

BTW, that was twenty million for the movie and the rest went to marketing. The results appear to be underperforming.

Wikipedia doesn't think much of it. Here's their plot summary, and I quote:

"Three teletubby things set out to find a bunch of balloons for their pillow slave."

Pillow slaves just love balloons.

TVTropes may arguably think less, but with more detail.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/TheOogielovesInTheBigBalloonAdventure

And naturally:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BoxOfficeBomb

Please note that this film was inspired by audience reactions to Madea Goes To Jail. When you are taking your cue from Madea, you deserve every penny you're not getting. Also note that it underperformed Delgo. Applause is not mandatory, but appreciated. Reverend Jim would like the applause to slow down now. Slooow doowwnnnn...

And if you really want the all-time modern low just in terms of tickets sold? Here you go.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/ZyzzyxRoad

Thirty Twenty bucks.

There is nothing Tom Sizemore can't kill.

"RE: So, I Guess No Estee Review?"
Posted by kidflash212 on 09-03-12 at 06:15 PM
One would think if you were looking for a gift for your pillow slave, freedom would be higher than balloons.

An interactive, childrens movie featuring unknown creatures inspired by moviegoers talking back to the screen during Madea Goes to Jail. Sounds charming.

Are there any terrorists we need to torture some secrets from? Making them sit in a movie where young children are encouraged to scream, run around and dance ought to do it.



Capn2patch put me in motion!

"RE: So, I Guess No Estee Review?"
Posted by Snidget on 09-03-12 at 03:06 PM
A whosiwhatits?


"RE: So, I Guess No Estee Review?"
Posted by Bebo on 09-03-12 at 07:21 PM
Someone did the math. Given average ticket prices, the average theater would have shown the movie to 30 people. In three days.

I am so grateful my children are too old and too particular about their movie experiences to ask to see this disaster.


"RE: So, I Guess No Estee Review?"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 09-03-12 at 07:46 PM
*poke* ... we've got room for one more person in our Politically Incorrect league for tomorrow night's draft if you're looking for some old-time butt-kicking. Check OT Sports.
"RE: So, I Guess No Estee Review?"
Posted by Estee on 09-03-12 at 08:00 PM
I wouldn't mind another suicider either.

"RE: So, I Guess No Estee Review?"
Posted by Estee on 09-03-12 at 08:14 PM
Which begs the question of the adult-to-children ratio in those theaters. Probably 1:2 or worse, with the average age of the kids verging dangerously close to prenatal. (Imagine being a teenager stuck taking younger siblings to this. Life expectancy=duration of movie/number of kids in tow.) And all of the younger ones are being encouraged to 'interact' with the screen.

There's a dark part of me that's considering whether it's worth going to see this, but:

I don't want to pay for it.

Someone would probably die.

There's a chance that could be me.

"RE: So, I Guess No Estee Review?"
Posted by kidflash212 on 09-05-12 at 10:47 AM
As I've read it, the movie encourages audience participation. Wonder how that works with only three people at the screening.