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Original Message
"WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by samboohoo on 05-17-12 at 08:58 AM
You're sitting in the bleachers/along the sideline at a little league baseball game involving 7 and 8 year-olds. The team batting is leading the other team 3-0. There have been really good hits up until now, and a few misplays by fielders. The next kid comes up to bat and lines a ball to left field. The left fielder makes a great attempt to catch the ball, which hits his glove, but drops. The left center-fielder retrieves the ball and throws it in. The batter ended up with a double. The score is now 5-0.

At this point, one of the defensive coaches calls a "time-out." He stops out to the outfield and addresses the left fielder and the left center-fielder and yells to them, "MOVE YOUR FREAKING FEET!"

What's your reaction? And what, if any action, do you take?


Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie


Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by byoffer on 05-17-12 at 09:12 AM
Tough one. Maybe he had already spoken to them, and had asked them to be in different positions, and wanted to remind them to move their feet to be in the position he called. Maybe.

I was coaching 5-7 year olds last night at t-ball. The other coach was away, so it was just me with 11 kids. (it amazes me how all the other parents just sit and watch, and NONE step up to help, but I digress). All night I had about 5 boys singing "I'm sexy and I know it" and trying to get the other boys to see their underwear. And wrestling matches between base-runners from the other team and my fielding team (I guess these kids know each other from school, and wrestling is fun?). And cart-wheels all over the field, and all the batting order rolling down the hill while waiting to bat. I was getting pretty frayed by the end of it (1 hr!).

"MOVE YOUR FREAKING FEET!" might have come out pretty easily for me last night!!

(I did give lots of high 5s and hair-ruffles too though)

"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by qwertypie on 05-17-12 at 10:03 AM
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! I would have loved to see you coach.
"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by byoffer on 05-17-12 at 11:22 AM
What is so amusing about me coaching?!? I dress much differently for coaching than for, say, Loser Lodge!!


It always amazes me that while all these parents want their kids involved in all these activities, there are so few who will step forward and help.

Not to toot my own horn (I heard one can go blind doing that!), but over the years I have:
- soccer coach x4 seasons, every season that my kids have played
- baseball coach x14 seasons (3 kids, and this was all but one that my kids have played). Went on to be convenor and commissioner (while still coaching 2 teams) for the baseball league for 4-5 years. And I hate baseball (never played as a kid, and to be honest think it is pretty boring for most kids)
- 2 x highschool trip parent. 6 bus-loads of highschool kids at the zoo. Frightening - for the animals!!
- 4 years of assisting with set building for musical theatre, drama, and dance at eldest son's school
- Also had to rent truck and spend weekend moving sets back and forth for a drama competition when the staff advisor "quit" on the kids.
- Scout leader for 3 years (son was in Cubs/Scouts for total of 6 years.)

I have more t-shirts in my closet from coaching kids teams than t-shirts I have actually purchased!

People say, "you are great for helping" to which I respond "Aw shucks". I think I need to get a better response to get people to realize that they can help too!!

"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by samboohoo on 05-17-12 at 11:47 AM
*gasp*

You hate baseball? You slay me. Although I hate soccer, so I guess we're even.

I umped my first softball game over the weekend. I wore a light blue "Life is Good" shirt.


Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie


"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by byoffer on 05-17-12 at 12:02 PM
I just think that baseball is lousy for most young kids who don't have any sort of attention span and limited understanding of the game. Maybe if we spent more time teaching them and less time playing the game that would help. About half the kids on my team can't throw more than 10 feet (really) and I think only one can actually catch a ball. But it takes more than one coach for 11 kids to teach those skills, and the league is set up for games.

When a team is at bat only one kid at a time does anything (okay, there might be kids on base) and the rest are bored/restless/rolling down the hill.

When a team is in the field, again they spend a lot of time waiting and getting bored. And picking dandelions, doing cartwheels, showing the other kids their underwear!! Oh, and piling on when the ball is actually hit.

The other thing that is missing is exercise. There isn't a lot of running in baseball.

I appreciate baseball as a sport, but think is lacks for most kids. I guess it is better than Nintendo!

"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by weltek on 05-17-12 at 10:23 AM
This story made my day. I can completely picture the scene.


-Handcrafted by RollDdice

"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by samboohoo on 05-17-12 at 10:42 AM
From where I'm standing, it looks like they were moving.

I'm right there with you on people stepping up. It can be frustrating. Sometimes the only ones who step up are the bad ones.


Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie


"I wouldn't have liked it"
Posted by moonbaby on 05-17-12 at 09:37 AM
And there is a possibility I would have asked the coach why he was being so harsh because the kids are still so young.

I've watched my fair share of school and travel team softball, and have seen softball coaches make my niece cry; she's an awesome player and they do get on her when they know she is capable of more. But she's in her teens.

So maybe this was the case here, too, that this boy is usually the star player-but still-it irks me when coaches get nasty towards the kids.

"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by Molaholic on 05-17-12 at 10:14 AM
LAST EDITED ON 05-17-12 AT 11:01 AM (EST)


OK -- I've been involved in youth sports (baseball and football) since the Carter Administration. I've had teams from age 5 up to 15, park league to travel teams.

1) This "coach" was way out of line. Dressing down a player (No matter the age or playing level) publicly on the field is beyond inappropriate. It borders on bullying, IMHO.

2) The parent of that child (Gawd forbid if "coach" is also dad...) should have a sincere talk with him (maybe include a quick kick to the nads for emphasis, but I digress...)

3) No matter the level, my main mantra has always been

IT'S A GAME!


Thought I'd come back to add a little wisdom (or what I think of as wisdom...)

Youth sports can be, by-in-large, a wonderful experience. Every kid should get involved in something. Naturally, there are those fools like the one above that could spoil it, so please be cautious.

IMHO, youth sports are there for something way beyond winning trophies, awards, ribbons, or winning anything for that matter.

There are valuable life skills that can be taught via youth sports -- things like working together with others, carrying through with a commitment, realizing that adversity isn't the end of the world, and there is always room for improvement. The kids need to have fun along the way. We also need to get our kids off the couch and away from the video idiocy that has invaded our homes.

Of course, we do play games with the intention to win. I never coached a game without planning to win, but I also made sure the players understood that no matter what the outcome of a particular game or season, the important things in life were still the important things in life. This worked for a baseball traveling team that won a national championship as well as a football team that was 0-9, scoring one touchdown the entire season.

<steps off soap box>

"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by jbug on 05-17-12 at 10:40 AM
LAST EDITED ON 05-17-12 AT 02:45 PM (EST)

""like""

~~~reads the ETA part~~~

yep still "like"

"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by byoffer on 05-17-12 at 11:42 AM
You are awesome, Molie, because you do all that purely as a volunteer. All the stuff I have done is volunteer, but for activities where my kids are involved.

That said, you commented:
The parent of that child (Gawd forbid if "coach" is also dad...)

This struck me, because I have the hardest time coaching my own kids. I don't expect them to be star athletes (none have been stars) but I do expect them to appreciate that their dad is coaching and to be the best behaved. When this doesn't happen, I tend to let them know, and much sterner than I am with the other kids. It is hard to be dad and coach. I grew up playing on bazillion teams (hockey, soccer, school things) and never had my dad as coach.

"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by Molaholic on 05-17-12 at 11:53 AM
Yes, the combined role of parent and coach is one of the most difficult aspects of youth sports. There is no way it can be avoided. I've seen the whole spectrum, from blatant favoritism to players falling apart due to the pressure, to dad/coach virtually ignoring their son in order to avoid any hint of favoritism. I've seen players blossom when they didn't have dad as coach, and, happily, some gems who were able to navigate those troubling waters successfully.

You are awesome, too!

"Hooray!"
Posted by moonbaby on 05-17-12 at 04:34 PM
Thank you for the bold blue statement!
"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by samboohoo on 05-17-12 at 12:21 PM
I appreciate all of your comments. There is much more to this story, but I wanted to give you the basics for a reason. To be continued . . .


Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie


"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by byoffer on 05-17-12 at 01:07 PM
What is this, the trailer to the new TV series Desperate Baseball Moms??

I am sensing an Emmy nod for Boo!!

"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 05-17-12 at 02:33 PM
I'd have given the coach a piece of my mind, saying that they're kids and they're at an age where a gentle explanation in the dugout of why the play didn't work and what could have been done to resolve it would have been far more effective.

(I've coached for years myself, although not at the kid level, so I have some idea of how to get through to players)

"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by weltek on 05-17-12 at 04:52 PM
I've heard Boo give a (Redskins) coach a piece of her mind. Let's hope no children are around when she decides to do it.


-Handcrafted by RollDdice

"The Rest of the Story"
Posted by samboohoo on 05-18-12 at 09:33 AM
I was curious to see what reactions were because all of you are strangers, like many of the parents on that field that night.

The division we play in at this time is between T-Ball and Kid Pitch. We do not have Coach Pitch. We use a pitching machine. It's interesting because of the mix of kids involved. You still get kids who have never played any ball, and then you have kids who have played a lot and who are now involved in "Travel Ball," which is very competitive. Travel Ball is going to give you more of the better players because you are not playing with kids who have never played the game.

This Division also has an "All Star" tournament at the end of the year. The quote is deliberate because it's really an invitational tournament. There are no stats kept in the division, and we do not have standings. We basically keep score to keep track of outs and the mercy rule. Last year's "All Star" team was made up of all of the coaches' sons, with a few really good players in the mix. Two of the coaches' sons were not good - at all. It showed the transparency of the whole process.

I do not subscribe to the "everyone must win" mantra, but I do believe in being fair - especially given the circumstances.

My son's team was the team winning at the time the incident occurred. The other team is coached by three dads of players on that team. Coach A is the head coach, and he is super competitive and wants to win. He yells a lot. He and I have talked about this before because of how "stressed" out he seemed to be on Thanksgiving Day during a football game that was just for fun. Coach B is a loud mouth, who also yells a lot. During one game last year, he made a scene by going out to his kid in the middle of an inning to take his gum away because he thought his kid was paying more attention to the gum than to the game. Coach C used to be my neighbor. He and his wife split, and he moved out of the neighborhood. She stayed. I have always been on good terms with him and his wife. I also know Coach A outside of baseball.

Prior to this particular game, things had been happening throughout the course of the season - mainly with these three coaches' kids. They have become terrible sportsman saying mean things on and off the field to other kids. Coach A's kid told another teammate during a game that "he hated him and he sucked" because the player misplayed a ball. They refused to warm up with kids, etc., and have just said mean things because they are "All Stars" and other kids aren't. These three kids are also kids that bat at the top of the lineup consistently and rarely play outfield. They never play catcher.

Coach A and B coached together last year. The consistently run extra bases on errors. And last year year they broke little league rules by bringing in a sub for a missing player and batting him fourth in the lineup and playing him in the infield the whole game. They actually did switch up their lineup one game last year and actually did give some other players a chance to play infield. They lost to a team that only won one game the whole season. At the end of the game, instead of saying, "Congratulations or Great First Win," Coach A said, "That's the last time I play that lineup again."

Back to our game. Our team was ahead. It was Coach C who called the timeout and charged out to the outfield and yelled at what appeared to be the two players standing there. One was his son. After that incident, the game turned ugly. They started taking extra bases on errors, etc. Our coaching staff stuck to our game plan, and I commend them for it. At one point during the game, Coach B was coaching third base. When one of our moms said something about the extra base running, he turned to her and said, "He likes to win," referencing Coach A. They ended up winning the game 10-9.

After the game, we were all leaving. Coach A approached me in the parking lot and said, "I'm sorry I had to run my guys on y'all like that, but I needed to wake them up. I was with my husband and son and just kind of let it go, but I really didn't care for the comment. All of this happened on Tuesday.

On Wednesday morning, someone reported the "freaking feet" outburst to the league. I don't know who did. I think I do based on comments made after it happened, but I don't know for sure. The interesting thing is that no one had to report it because someone from the league was at the field and saw the whol incident, plus some other bad behavior. The league apparently handed down some sort of punishment.

On Thursday evening Coach B was in the stands watching his daughter play softball. The sister of one of our players plays on the same team as Coach B's daughter, so her parents were there. Coach B launched into a tirade about being reported to the league. He didn't say anything directly to our parents, but he said a lot of nasty things within earshot about our team calling us all sore losers and insulting our coaching staff.

On Friday morning I, along with another mom from our team attended a Mother's Day breakfast at our sons' school. Coach C's ex-wife (my neighbor) was there. She wouldn't speak to us, wouldn't even look at us.

On Friday afternoon, I sent an email to Coach A letting him know that I knew a complaint had been filed, but I didn't know anything else about it. I also addressed him comment to me after the game, and I addressed his competitiveness. I told him I thought it was having a negative effect on the game, players and coaches. I asked him to discuss it with me in person. He didn't take it well.

On Saturday, Coach A was absent from his game, but Coaches B and C spent much of their time before the game, after the game and in between innings running around saying horrible things about all of the moms on our team.

There has been never-ending drama going on all week.

I think I am most upset with my neighbor at this point. While I didn't agree with what Coach C did, I knew he was mainly yelling at his kid on the field that night. We're not social, close friends, but we're neighbors. Our kids are going to be together in school for the next 10 years. We're also going to run into one another at the pool, etc. I really don't want the tension. I left her a note asking her to call me or come by, and she has refused, instead taking that note to Coach A adding more fuel to the fire.

It's just a sad situation all around.



Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie


"RE: The Rest of the Story"
Posted by byoffer on 05-18-12 at 11:51 AM
See? Baseball svcks.

One of our friends had a "gotta win coaching" issue with his kid in soccer last summer. The league are kids play in is very recreational. All summer we play (once per week) and don't even report scores. The fields are all side by side and games are often paused because of balls from other fields crossing into play.

Then the season ends with a Saturday "tournament". Scores are kept, and teams get eliminated. But it is still the rec league, right? Wrong-o for her son's coach, who basically benched the kid for much of the Saturday since he wasn't one of the strongest kids.

The kid was crushed that this team he had played on all season suddenly didn't want him.

I understand and appreciate that some teams are select teams. My experience with those was always about making the team, and then those who make the team get to play. I don't recall situations where once someone had made the team they might not get to play. But rec should be all about letting everyone play.

Sorry that this has impacted your neighbour relations.

Maybe time to take your iPad to the game and watch some videos (out loud!!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhE1qXOeD7g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxduazZp7bo&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZM4RO1ty3E&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuWw2j6Tr0g&feature=relmfu

and I particularly like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xu9LIPPIEzI&feature=relmfu

"RE: The Rest of the Story"
Posted by samboohoo on 05-18-12 at 03:18 PM
LMAO! Awesome!


Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie


"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by VisionQuest on 05-18-12 at 11:49 AM
Even though this is kind of a serious topic, I thought I would inject some humour.



Eyes of March by Agman


"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by bondt007 on 05-18-12 at 02:23 PM
I've been on our LL Board now for a few years. My son is actually in Juniors (13 years old+), which is technically the first year in the "upper" level. They drop pop flies up there, too.


As a Board, we would have most likely suspended that coach and maybe the manager - we have in the past - depending on their track record of any other issues. One game, two games, the rest of the season... All Stars... maybe even not consider them for a coach position for the next season as well - again depending on the total of the issues leading up to this.

There’s really not an excuse for what this coach did. Once, in “AA” ball (first year of kid pitch), a coach sitting in the dugout said to the third base coach of the opposing team “5 bucks says he (the kid up to bat) can’t get it 2 feet from the plate”. Both giggled a bit. Then they were suspended for 2 games each – for that comment. I’m all for that. Idiots.



"RE: WWYD or What Would Your Reaction Be?"
Posted by samboohoo on 05-18-12 at 03:13 PM
I am on the LL Board, although I am in charge of Girls 9/10 Softball. You usually are not involved with where your child plays. I'm pretty sure that's part of the issue. They think that, because I'm a board member, I've got something to do with their punishment.

Something was done to them, although I don't know what. I don't think they were suspended because they were coaching the next game. I am new to the Board so I don't know yet what the impact will be on their All-Star coaching chances. If I have a vote, I may abstain simply because I don't want to make it worse. But I think coaches in that division have the vote with Board approval. There are 10 coaches in that division. I think he has a lock on 3 votes due to his "boys' club" status, but the other 6 are not guaranteed, especially if he runs on those teams like he did us.

I do know that it is complete Board input about coaching next year and, at that time, I will speak up if necessary. At this point, I don't think I have to worry about that.

Idiots is a kind word.


Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie