http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/celebrity.news.gossip/02/08/lindsay.lohan.charge/index.html

Not appearing in this story: there's supposedly surveillance footage of her wearing the necklace, and the return was made by one of her stylists.

Recent pictures have her looking more like someone who's in their first week of rehab than most people at the end of that cycle: at least to me, withdrawal was all over her features. Fame withdrawal might be an option there, but...

Acting roles are hard to come by. She could easily go reality -- let's face it: VH1 would hand her the keys to the kingdom and twenty soused suitors could be gathered within an hour -- but her handlers are keeping her away from that option, likely seeing it as Career Death before Public Redemption. (It's the only thing they've been able to keep her from doing.) Right now, her fame comes from screwing up. And without those mistakes, she has no audience. If that's why she's acting out, then she needs help on a scale a normal rehab program doesn't know how to touch.

But at the same time, she's an easy target. Jewelry stores in her area frequently have a unlock-and-loan policy with celebrities: wear it to the premiere and have it back by the end of the week. Is it possible this one was lent out with the return delayed by a week or two? It still (likely) legally qualifies as theft, but that possibility would potentially put the store owner in the jerk position: publicity for him, plenty of coverage, get the name in all the subsequent stories, and by the way, he knows where you put that overdue library book.

However, the facts would seem to be these: the necklace was taken, the necklace was returned -- and the accused party not only has a record, but has had major trouble taking court directives seriously before this. The value of the item (low for Hollywood accessorizing, but just high enough for the charge) makes this into felony theft. Add that to her priors and jail time is possible here.

Maybe she wants the Michael Vick road. Two, three years behind bars, use the time to study her craft, and then when she gets out, the roles will just come flying in.

VH1 might have been the kinder fate.

• RE: Her pay-for-print contract with the tabloids was up for renewal.,samboohoo, 10:55 AM, 02-09-11
  • RE: Her pay-for-print contract with the tabloids was up for renewal.,Estee, 10:56 AM, 02-09-11
• RE: Her pay-for-print contract with the tabloids was up for renewal.,kingfish, 11:32 AM, 02-09-11
• Early arrival,Estee, 05:28 PM, 02-09-11
• RE: Her pay-for-print contract with the tabloids was up for renewal.,bondt007, 05:42 PM, 02-09-11
  • RE: Her pay-for-print contract with the tabloids was up for renewal.,Estee, 05:58 PM, 02-09-11
• HAH!,foonermints, 11:57 PM, 02-09-11

Perhaps she and Charlie Sheen could buy an island somewhere and live happily ever after.

Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie

Bikini Atoll?

It was a subconscious cry for help.

Instead of a necklace, however, her subconscious was screaming for a shock collar. Which, coupled with the right handler, might actually be a good idea for her therapy. Betty Ford didn't work. Jail didn't work. Lobotomies are mostly illegal now.

Putting her and Charlie on a rehab island and giving each a shock collar control for the other might actually be a reality show I would watch.

at the courthouse for her arraignment, which completely threw off the paparazzi: a crowd had gathered, but not as large of one as would have been present if she'd shown up closer to the appointed hour. As was, they only almost trampled the CNN reporter on the scene.

Silly season begins.

Good. Now we can stop reading about things like Egypt.

The White House paid her sixteen million dollars for the distraction.

Best use of taxpayer money ever.

Now I bet I know where my bicyle is.

Moves by CrabMan