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Forum: DCForumID6
Thread Number: 36337
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Original Message
"Free advice"
Posted by frodis on 01-19-11 at 04:32 PM
Share some advice from your line of work or area of expertise that you think folks should know. There's probably something that you know that the rest of us don't.

Here's mine:

If you send an email asking whether you're signed up for an event, please include your name in the email. Or your account number. Or your pawprint. Something more than, "Hi, am I registered?"


Here's a bonus:

If you send me an email asking if you can have a refund for a non-refundable purchase, it's probably better not to attach the receipt that says in bold block letters "NO REFUNDS."


P.S. to the bonus:

You can tell me a sob story. If it's really, really good it'll go into my Sob Story Hall of Fame. But you won't get a refund.


A Mmmmmmmoonie plate special!

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"My tip"
Posted by moonbaby on 01-19-11 at 05:24 PM
Unless you are a rock star or a model signing your first name only on a document doesn't cut it.

"RE: My tip"
Posted by kingfish on 01-19-11 at 05:54 PM
Hey Moonie.

King.

"RE: Free advice"
Posted by kingfish on 01-19-11 at 05:48 PM
LAST EDITED ON 01-19-11 AT 05:56 PM (EST)


1. Always verify that relief valves will work. Cause if they don't....KABOOM.

ETA: sob story bonus:

- a. any one of a number of major petro plant explosions.

- b. Any one of a number of hot water heater launches.

2. Don't promise a bonus if there really isn't one.

(So what's my bonus?)

"RE: Free advice"
Posted by foonermints on 01-19-11 at 09:32 PM
Yo King..
..Fooner
btw: The checks were signed yesterday, so yours should be in the mail. I know it wasn't about the money, anyway.
"RE: Free advice"
Posted by kingfish on 01-19-11 at 09:53 PM
LAST EDITED ON 01-19-11 AT 09:54 PM (EST)

Always specify amount when requesting bonus payment.

Sob story, as follows:

Yo F,

Thanks 4 the 2 cents.

K.

"RE: Free advice"
Posted by foonermints on 01-20-11 at 01:32 PM
1¢

The symbol formerly known as foonermints.

"RE: Free advice"
Posted by motormouth on 01-19-11 at 06:03 PM
When you call your attorney, please be advised, you are NOT their only client.

Your crisis does not = My crisis. I know, hard to comprehend.

Do not start in on your sob story before finding out who answered the phone.

Giving me attitude will not increase your chances of getting a call back.

Do not assume the lobby is a daycare.



My first Tribephyl siggie!

"RE: Free advice"
Posted by zipperhead on 01-20-11 at 01:02 PM

Total non-sequitor, but - I've always loved that sigpic of yours.
"RE: Free advice"
Posted by grit on 01-20-11 at 02:25 PM
LAST EDITED ON 01-20-11 AT 02:26 PM (EST)

I like this one: Do not start in on your sob story before finding out who answered the phone.

One of my clients is an attorney and a while back we moved into a different part of the building so he could rent out some space. My old office was pretty far removed from the entrance but my new office is the first one you see when you come up the stairs. A lot of clients peek into my office when I'm there but they usually notice the reception desk and waiting area right away.

One day, the paralegal wasn't at the reception desk and a client came up the stairs, walked right into my office and just launched into a long diatribe about her legal troubles. I finally managed to interrupt the woman and tell her that I'm just the bookkeeper and that she should wait in the reception area while I found the paralegal.

When I found the paralegal, she mentioned that this woman has been to the office several times and knew where the waiting area was. She just liked to talk with anyone she could find in our office - even our tenants who have nothing to do with the law firm - to talk about her legal problems.


Chocolately deliciousness by agman

"RE: Free advice"
Posted by qwertypie on 01-19-11 at 08:53 PM
Survey monkey was created, in part, so people could input their answers quickly on line, to reduce paper and costs and to get instantaneous results. Sending out a paper copy to 2500 club members and then hiring a person to input the 1300 responses by hand kind of defeats the purpose.
"RE: Free advice"
Posted by rjrabbit on 01-19-11 at 08:58 PM
Never co-sign for anyone. Or at least know that you have no rights. I co-signed on a car for the son of a friend of mine. He hasn't made one payment and I don't have the right to take the car from him. I'm thinking of going on Judge Judy.
"RE: Free advice"
Posted by cahaya on 01-19-11 at 09:07 PM
LAST EDITED ON 01-19-11 AT 11:14 PM (EST)

From a business viewpoint, if your advice is of considerable value, seek recompense.


Capn's wisdom

Seldom give unguarded advice, for advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill. -- Gandalf

"RE: Free advice"
Posted by Gothmog on 01-20-11 at 10:10 AM
When your child comes home with some story about what happened in my class today, you might want to get my side of the story before you come storming in with your dander up. There's a chance that your child's version might be a wee bit biased. Better yet, bring the kid along and have them retell it in front of me--let's see if it changes any.

Do not do your little darlings' homework for them. Do not write notes making excuses for their laziness.

The school calendar was announced long before you planned your trip to Disneyworld. This is not an excused absence. You can take your child out of school if you want to, but don't expect me to make any allowances.

Not only are you not helping them, you are teaching them bad habits that will be hard, if not impossible, to unlearn.


I'm not paid enough.

"A companion for the students"
Posted by samboohoo on 01-20-11 at 04:54 PM
If you're going to go home and tell your parents some story about what happened in school today, make sure that when your parent verifies the story, it matches.

And for specific 7-year old first graders:

If you are bad in school, your mother will be disappointed. If you are bad and then lie to cover it up, your mother will be pissed. If you cover up and hide the note from the teacher, please note that your mother can still get a copy from your teacher.

Vacations are not excused absences. Neither is taking your wife/child out to dinner/lunch for their birthday.


Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie


"RE: Free advice"
Posted by Max Headroom on 01-20-11 at 10:35 AM
My company does not issue blank checks. If you think we should provide some equipment for your company, get a quote as if your company will be paying the tab. Yes, we are a large organization with many resources, but keep in mind that you don't like overpaying for things, and we don't either.

After taking an additional year to negotiate a contract with us, do not ask for pricing relief six months after the contract is implemented. Also, do not blame us for a compressed startup schedule when the project timeline was delayed solely because of contract negotiations.

If you argue with us about every last cent on every purchase order, don't expect any goodwill when you have a screw-up that isn't our fault.

Instead of pushing back on every request we make, try cooperating some of the time. You'd be amazed at how much better things work when a business relationship is a partnership instead of adversarial.

"RE: Free advice"
Posted by Tummy on 01-20-11 at 11:00 AM
If you are paying for dental insurance, at least use it to get your teeth cleaned as often as it allows. Because if you don't, not only are you paying for something you're not using but one of these days you're going to wish you had used it.
"RE: Free advice"
Posted by samboohoo on 01-20-11 at 04:46 PM
and days you'd wished they'd used it.


Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie


"RE: Free advice"
Posted by Tummy on 01-20-11 at 05:44 PM
Eh, sooner or later I'll get their money.
"RE: Free advice"
Posted by byoffer on 01-20-11 at 12:42 PM
*sits and waits for Estee's workplace tips advice*


"RE: Free advice"
Posted by foonermints on 01-20-11 at 01:26 PM
I hope it is something creative with robots.


Atomic Robot: ←now with more green!

"RE: Free advice"
Posted by Brownroach on 01-20-11 at 01:11 PM
If you are leaving me a voicemail message please state in at least minimum detail what your question/issue is, so I can hopefully have an answer at the ready before I return your call.

Do not leave a message such as, "Hi, I have a question about a song you own, can you call me back?", which necessitates me calling to ask you what the heck you want before I can actually help you.



"RE: Free advice"
Posted by zipperhead on 01-20-11 at 01:19 PM
Don't send an e-mail to employees after they've gone for the day with notes on something you have already arranged for "first thing in the morning".

Follow OSHA or other approved guidelines when operating machinery. It turns out that old people don't like being knocked down by a forklift.

Don't turn in a timesheet that lists hours worked on days you were on vacation. There will be questions.

"Free slasher movie advice"
Posted by kingfish on 01-20-11 at 01:26 PM
Do not, repeat, NOT, go into the basement.
"RE: Free slasher movie advice"
Posted by Gothmog on 01-20-11 at 01:42 PM
And don't have sex.


"RE: Free slasher movie advice"
Posted by grit on 01-20-11 at 02:17 PM
...at least not in the basement. After all, that's what my deck is for.


a berry nice sigpic from agman

"RE: Free slasher movie advice"
Posted by cahaya on 01-20-11 at 02:35 PM

And especially not in the foonerbasement!

Watch out for those sickles.

"RE: Free slasher movie advice"
Posted by kingfish on 01-20-11 at 04:43 PM
How can anybody still be here when there's sex to be had on Grit's deck?
"Maybe Because"
Posted by foonermints on 01-20-11 at 06:06 PM
Of that other fun stuff.

"RE: Free slasher movie advice"
Posted by Tummy on 01-20-11 at 05:45 PM
Amen! But after that last marathon you're deck needs a little sanding. *splinters
"RE: Free advice"
Posted by frankz on 01-20-11 at 02:04 PM
When dealing with someone who works on multiple projects simultaneously put the project or client name in the Subject Line of an email. Simply putting “Update” or “Document” DOES NOT HELP ME!!!

Also, the way you shout into the woods is the way the echo will come back.


And whatever you do, don't you eat that yellow snow

"RE: Free advice"
Posted by Maroonclown on 01-21-11 at 02:01 PM
Amen.
"Read"
Posted by Riordan on 01-20-11 at 02:06 PM
Read...

the return policy before you make your purchase.
your acceptance letter. Yes, it tells you what to do next.
the instructions on your laptop that tells you to make your own recovery disc before your hard drive crashes.
what insurance does NOT cover before you have those tests done.
your class syllabus before you miss the first test because you didn't know when it was.
the school/library/business/government website before you call with whatever question that is answered on the same page the phone number is listed.
the archives.


"RE: Free advice"
Posted by Seana on 01-20-11 at 02:27 PM
You are not the only person to have wondered that. The answer to your question is on our webiste.

The deadline for submission is the date on the form where it says "Deadline for Submission". If you call me to find out whether that's really the date because you thought it was something else, even though it's written right on the form, I will direct you to the form that you have in front of you - that you read and didn't believe for some reason.

Transition can be difficult. I know the last person to be in this position did the job for 20 years and knew your phone number when it came up on call display, but I'm not her. Please be patient and tell me both your name and the name of company you work for so that I can register you for the event you want to attend. It takes a little time once or twice and then I'll be up to speed. I have a good memory for things like this. It'll be OK.


I love people asking for refunds when there are really big signs, and "NO CASH REFUNDS" is written right on the bill.

"Don't text and walk"
Posted by moonbaby on 01-20-11 at 03:13 PM
http://tinyurl.com/4pq8hyf

"RE: Don't text and walk"
Posted by Starshine on 01-20-11 at 04:00 PM
LAST EDITED ON 01-20-11 AT 04:03 PM (EST)

*Like*

Now, who do we know in Pennsylvania?

Oh and Be careful whilst driving

"RE: Don't text and walk"
Posted by byoffer on 01-20-11 at 06:04 PM
Geez, that is rough. Like one of those covered holes they use in old movies to catch the wild animal.


"RE: Don't text and walk"
Posted by DearAbby on 01-20-11 at 06:01 PM
And if the video proof of your mishap winds up going viral on YouTube, sue the Mall.

http://www.examiner.com/internet-trends-in-national/texting-fountain-fall-woman-identified-may-file-lawsuit

"RE: Don't text and walk"
Posted by byoffer on 01-20-11 at 06:10 PM
Of course there is a lawsuit.

She wasn't hurt, and wasn't identified (or even identifiable from the quality of the video). If she hadn't told people no one would have known it was her.

I think the mall could/should reprimand the security people who distributed the video, but IMO there was no harm done to the woman.

I find for the defendent (the mall).


"RE: Don't text and walk"
Posted by Maroonclown on 01-21-11 at 02:03 PM
And if you're wanted on a number of charges don't make yourself so available for media interviews.
"RE: Free advice"
Posted by samboohoo on 01-20-11 at 04:56 PM
If my voice mail says, "I am not able to take your call right now," that means I cannot take your call right now. Please do what the voice mail says and leave your name, number, and reason for call.


Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie


"RE: Free advice"
Posted by Starshine on 01-20-11 at 05:07 PM
If you ask me a question I will answer honestly, please do the same for me.

If I say something will take me a month to do that doesn't mean two weeks.

Lovely cheese Mooney

Just another Sleeperbloke


"Free advice"
Posted by Molaholic on 01-20-11 at 05:44 PM
is worth every penny you paid for it.

I think that was Ben Franklin. It sounds like Franklin, anyway.

"RE: Free advice"
Posted by Maroonclown on 01-21-11 at 02:00 PM
If you're looking for advice on an interpretation of a collective agreement, your question should not be proceeded with "How do I get around this?"
"RE: Free advice"
Posted by kingfish on 01-21-11 at 02:04 PM
They should instead say;

"Hypothetically, how do I get around this?"

(A legal nicety)

"RE: Free advice"
Posted by susang on 01-21-11 at 02:31 PM
I've worked for administrators and faculty, in a university setting.

What I found: administrators tend to remember deadlines more than faculty.

Faculty need more reminders.

My apologies to faculty.