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Original Message
"Reality TV Memories: 2008."

Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 09:49 AM
What images from the past Year In DAWs will you carry with you forever -- no matter how much you try to get rid of them?

The ones that came to mind for me, in order:

1. Megan realizing she was about to be judged by a jury of people she'd made a career of offending and quitting on the spot just to take away the satisfaction they'd get from putting her out. (She got her own show for that one. You could sigh. You really could.)

2. 'Ace, freeze!' Glad you were paying attention out there, Ace. Wow, Randy must sound a lot like Sugar -- not.

3. Welcome to the Russian branch of The Ministry Of Silly Walks. There will now be a brief pause while Dan restarts both the Cold War and discrimination against the local Jews all by himself.

4. 'So here we are climbing up a long flight of steps on our hands and knees. What question could anyone possibly want to ask us at the top?' (Believe me, Dandrew could have walked off with this whole list.)

5. KKKristy can turn any song into a patriotic national anthem! Especially patriotic national anthems!

6. No one wants to talk to Piers Morgan while he's in chain mail. In fact, no one wants to talk to Piers while he's not in chain mail. Or for preference, ever.

7. We have seen the elephant!

8. Who wants to work for Diddy? Ideally, nobody. Who knew the devil actually wore Armani?

9. Bob? Shirt. Back on. Now.

10. Jason Castro, stoned on national television. Or maybe that's just the way he sings. Or doesn't care about how he's singing. Or he was inspired by Paula: someone had to be... (Don't worry: Maroonclown runs a very good detox program out of her chained-up basement.)


Table of contents

Messages in this discussion
"Greatest exchange ever?"
Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 09:57 AM
"I hit my head back there."

"I don't care."

"I know."

The only other thing I really want to remember from People Who've Never Seen The Show Before Vs. People Who've Been On It And Still Don't Know What They're Doing was Ozzy's vote count of death: 4-1, 4-2, 4-3, 4-4, 4-screwed: Jeff's first outright masterpiece. The rest of the season can be flushed. (Oh, if only...)


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Snidget on 12-30-08 at 10:03 AM
At least Megan has the excuse of they've never done this show before so who knew they'd have a jury type thingy at some point.

When there has been several seasons and there always is a jury every.single.season, and yet someone gets to the end surprised they have to like get people to vote for them. Although a lot of those seem to have the delusions that those they treated like carp could not possibly hold it against them.

Dose this mean Megan is less delusional than the average reality TV contestant? Or just suffering from a different set of them?


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 10:18 AM
LAST EDITED ON 12-30-08 AT 10:19 AM (EST)

Megan's delusions are many. 'I'm pretty. I'm smart. People live to serve me. I'm the perfect catch for a happy billionaire. My body type is the ideal one and I can freely look down on anyone who doesn't have it. Everyone thinks I'm sweet and funny in confessional! A bikini is the perfect outfit for every possible occasion. None of the rules ever apply to me. There's no such thing as karmic payback unless I'm the one doing it'... And that's just barely scratching the surface. At this point, the only possible explanation for her B&TG win is 'being up against a rabid piranha'.

No argument that a jury was a surprise: everything was straight competition up to F3, and the last two fought it out in an extended challenge. I just don't know if they'll bother going it again now given that people might anticipate it -- Frank, who's in both casts, can fill them in on the fiasco -- and with Megan's insta-quit on the board as a possible response.

I'd call her reaction reasonable-but-petty. They were going to vote her out and she knew it: why hang around long enough to let them get their attacks in? It's so much more fun to let them just choke on words unspoken.

And realistically? Group that could judge based on gameplay this was not.

Of course, some people don't care about jury votes even when they know they're coming. See 'Kiper, Jessica'.


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by ginger on 12-30-08 at 11:21 AM
I think Megan is an evil geenyus, along the lines of New York.




"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 11:24 AM
Have we ever seen Megan's mother?

Is it possible that --

-- and I've officially crossed the line into 'horrifying'.

The dread portal that breeds monsters.


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by kingfish on 12-30-08 at 10:54 AM
"9. Bob? Shirt. Back on. Now."

Thanks for that reminder. I hadn't seen a torso like that since "Aliens".

I have a burned-in image of one of the blonds (in TAR) spitting up dye and getting re-whacked, then spitting up more. On the image are superimposed tears of laughter.



Tribe the scribe.


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 11:07 AM
As far as the dye went, it's a little weird that Tina's arguable most physically attractive moments came while she was in full possession of Hulk Hair.

Maybe because she was usually just about that mad.


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by ginger on 12-30-08 at 11:30 AM
1. Pop off! Pop off!

2. I wear this wig because, um, CANCER! That's right, I had CANCER!

3. Padma actually spits a dessert into her napkin because it is so godawful sweet, and looks incredibly elegant doing so.

4. We can no longer live with your design.

5. Almost everything Miss Tyra and the Jays did on ANTM this season was like some weird Swedish student art film.

6. Kate got the world's most deserved tummy tuck.

7. Pop off! POP OFF!

8. Hedda Lettuce finds the sleeves fugly and waay too flamboyant.

9. Ginger realizes she no longer watches Survivor or Amazing Race and does not know the names of the co-eds currently drinking themselves into toxemia on the current season of Real World, let alone what unfortunate township is hosting it.

10. Wait, did I mention POP OFF!



POP OFF!
POP OFF!
POP OFF!


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 11:38 AM
5. Almost everything Miss Tyra and the Jays did on ANTM this season was like some weird Swedish student art film.

I really thought you were going to lead off with The World's Most Surreal Opening Segment.

If we're still broadcasting into space, that thing was an open invitation to destroy us.


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Snidget on 12-30-08 at 11:57 AM
I'm thinking they just put up the quarantine signs. If you blow us up there is some chance whatever it is that caused that might spread.

"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by ginger on 12-30-08 at 01:09 PM
At least no one shat on the mansion floor.




"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 01:25 PM
Spoken like someone who hasn't seen the previews for Rock Of Love III. With that crew, we'll be lucky if no one dies --

-- oops. Too late.


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Snidget on 12-30-08 at 02:04 PM
Huh? Did I miss something.

*googles*

link

Oh yikes


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by ginger on 12-30-08 at 03:31 PM
There's a tasteless joke to be made about throwing people under the bus, but I am just too classy to do it.



Oops.


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Devious Weasel on 12-30-08 at 11:51 AM
I was going to write a long post in response, but writing is kinda literature and art based, and I'm more of a sports and TV based guy.

Like you've never ripped off your own jokes...


"Nice shoes."
Posted by moonbaby on 12-30-08 at 12:31 PM


"RE: Nice shoes."
Posted by Devious Weasel on 12-30-08 at 12:57 PM
Do you know how much these cost me at the airport store?

We just should have gone barefoot


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by vince3 on 12-30-08 at 11:54 AM
My donkey is broken!

The misadventures of the WereGeek Luchador

Randy going out in a Fake Hidden Immunity Idol blaze of glory


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Fishercat on 12-30-08 at 11:56 AM
Leanne's Spy Montage on Project Runway, then followed later on by Leanne in Kenley's hip-hop suit/accompanying walk.

(Probably a video on Bravo, but I'm not looking through that site)

I only saw it in clips after, but Mark Day doing anything on Canadian Idol, "Dancing in the Streets" was his best moment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaUnBWKhsyE

Dandrew Dancing. And Marching. (Well, that was Dan).


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by suzzee on 12-30-08 at 12:57 PM
Susie nearly winning Survivor. (ack)

Paris Hilton's BBF show. (my eyes, my eyes)


Grrrr It's best to play dead when sock puppets attack


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 01:05 PM
I still can't figure out if they were all there for the money/exposure/lots and lots of exposure/catfights! or if anyone there was stupid enough to believe Paris would remember their name three seconds after filming ended.

"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by suzzee on 12-30-08 at 02:06 PM
Everyone there was stupid enough. Trust me.

"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Snidget on 12-30-08 at 02:12 PM
1. Women and girls gushing about how sexy a gasping Mormon child was on American Idol.

*shudder*

{insert "It's a felony" clip from "The Soup" here}

2. A wigless Cloris on DWTS.

3. Imagining the meltdown in the control room on DWTS because of Cloris's inability to censor herself during the family hour.

4. Paula Abdul critiquing a song that had not been sung.

5. Fake Immunity Idols that were made better than the real ones.



"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 02:17 PM
4. Paula Abdul critiquing a song that had not been sung.

Oh, come on. She explained this a million times. All she was doing was reading off the notes she made in her dream diary. Anyone would have read off the part about the walrus having sex with the British judge. Happens all the time.

Still in the 'patiently waiting for Paula to die of an overdose during the live show just so FOX can issue a press release stating she's only sleeping' stage.


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Devious Weasel on 12-30-08 at 02:43 PM
Like they haven't had that press release written and ready to go for several years now...

"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 02:47 PM
It just seems such a shame not to use it.

"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Sunny_Bunny on 12-31-08 at 02:53 AM
Nah, they will simply say that she's pining for the Fjords.

"Silly question"
Posted by Colonel Zoidberg on 12-30-08 at 05:09 PM
First: who the hell is Megan?

Second: Let's see...the fact that Bruckheimer's casting department seemed to have some kind of brain implant in my head from which they sucked out information. The only way they can disprove this: A Tel Aviv leg.

Third: Randy. Corinne. A clueless Charlie who's missing brain cells instead of fingers. Crystal's only classy move all season - losing. Ken plotting to shoot Bob and getting angry when Bob won't give up the only bulletproof vest. Sugar dominating the season and not even getting to see her name written down to show for it - the only finalist ever to go through the entire season without receiving a vote for or against.

Fourth: Dan gets $500,000 off people who probably hate his guts. Given that kind of return, he should change careers and try stripping.

Fifth: Meh. Kick Kathleen in the face. Along with most of the Fans tribe.


"RE: Silly question"
Posted by Snidget on 12-30-08 at 05:24 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megan_Hauserman

*blink* She went to college? Does anyone fact check wiki?


"RE: Silly question"
Posted by AyaK on 12-30-08 at 06:38 PM
I just have to throw this in. I have no idea if Megan graduated from college or not, but she doesn't seem to have learned much, if anything:

http://www.tvguide.com/News/Charm-School-Megan-35277.aspx

TVGuide.com: What would you have done if you'd won the $250,000 on I Love Money?
Hauserman: I would have started my charity for mentally-challenged dogs and spent my life helping them. Like Lily, for example.
TVGuide.com: What kind of mental disability do you think your dog has?
Hauserman: Well, she used to have seizures and I think she just has a really low IQ. And there's a language barrier too.
TVGuide.com: Was your dog raised by Spanish speakers or something?
Hauserman: She is Mexican.
TVGuide.com: You actually got her from Mexico?
Hauserman: No, she came from Ohio, but her origin is Mexico.
TVGuide.com: Was she born in Mexico?
Hauserman: No, but she's a Chihuahua.


"RE: Silly question"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 12-30-08 at 06:48 PM
I ask this as the proud owner of two dogs, but, how can you tell a dog is mentally challenged?

Thank dog one of mine is an English Springer Spaniel - no language problems.


"RE: Silly question"
Posted by Snidget on 12-30-08 at 06:53 PM
Check out her friends page on VH1 and tell me what you think Lili's IQ is.

http://www.famousvh1friends.com/personality/75259/lily


"RE: Silly question"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 12-30-08 at 06:58 PM
It's clearly higher than most of the people wanting to be her friend...

"RE: Silly question"
Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 07:05 PM
I don't think you're allowed to post on the VH1 forums if you know how to spell.

Breathing may be optional.


"RE: Silly question"
Posted by suzzee on 12-30-08 at 07:05 PM
Lily's the dog right? If so she's smarter then her owner. She is probably bi-lingual and has decided to play dumb in order to enjoy the good life. Did I win?


"RE: Silly question"
Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 06:53 PM
How can she be so helpful towards mentally-challenged dogs and so hateful towards stupid bitches?

What?


"Painful questions of our time."
Posted by Estee on 12-30-08 at 05:44 PM
First: who the hell is Megan?

I didn't want to try and answer this question without double-checking a few of the facts which I've been desperately hoping to forget. So I did a little searching. And in the course of that searching, I learned Megan has a blog.

So much for dinner.

Okay -- the short version:

Megan Hauserman started as a contestant on Beauty & The Geek, where she was teamed up with Scooter. They won. They did not win because Megan became intellectual or learned how to value herself for more than her looks, although she did have the occasional flash of non-idiocy during the season. They won because they were up against Cece, the Sugar of her own season: dominated, hurt everyone she could because she could, and never anticipated the little factor called 'the jury vote.' Was Megan any great prize? No: she just had a goat on the other side, plus people liked Scooter. Hello, $125,000.

From there, she became one of the throng going after Bret Michaels in the second Rock Of Love. And that's when we got to see where her intelligence was centered: in hurting everyone around here. She only backstabbed when getting people from the front became boring. Her confessional sessions turned into such delusional pictures of nastiness, you'd swear they were coming from Corinne. She showed hatred of anyone who didn't look like her, think like her, or bow to her every whim. After taking several contestants out of the race and nearly being eliminated fairly early before one contestant voluntarily stepped down, she finally went out at F5 because Bret felt no connection. Not surprising, as Megan's only demonstrated bond was with money.

That bond naturally led her to the original I Love Money, where the confessional venom, open venom, and outright manipulation of everything in sight reached levels Corinne isn't mentally equipped to dream of. She didn't throw people under the bus: she drove it into their bedrooms, parked it on their skulls, and then claimed the victim had been sleep-driving. (Summing up her actual actions in this department would overload the text-per-post limit.) Because this was a pure competition show with some anti-Darwin elements, Megan managed to get all the way to F3 -- at which point, a jury of the ousted materialized and was given the power to vote out one person, bringing things down to the final two. Megan got one look at a group of people who hated her as much as she'd openly belittled them and, rather than give them the chance to take their revenge, quit.

There's only one place for this kind of charmer, and that's directly under the kind supervision of Sharon Osbourne: Megan transferred to the second season of Charm School with a number of former RoL contestants, some of whom she'd never had the chance to openly despise. That changed in a hurry, as Megan took a second show about personal change and turned it into another festival of manipulation, venom, and stabbing into anything available, delighting in every eviction she was able to produce. However, Sharon isn't exactly stupid, and Megan was constantly on the verge of going out -- until the week she kicked Brandi M (the eventual winner) in the stomach as her happy means of settling a discussion. That sent her home until the F3 came around, at which point she returned Apprentice-style to 'assist' Brandi M. in a task. The task was collecting items for charity, which would then be tallied at preset values. Megan deliberately lost pieces, put collected items in the bins for the other contestants, and then spent the rest of the time gathering donated pens for a whopping $0.05 each. This may be what led to something we've only heard rumors of so far: that at the Reunion show, Megan managed to get into a fight with Sharon and came out the worse for it with an injured arm. No doubt Megan can find a reason that's not her fault.

Are we done? Not even close. Because at the very start of her CS time, Megan expressed her life's ambition: to be someone's trophy wife. As such, VH1 started casting a dating series with her at the center of it: you must be worth at least one million dollars to apply. The name of this show? Trophy Wife. Coming soon to a TV near you.

And because even trying to skim over this means I just went on an involuntary two-day fast, I'd appreciate it if someone else would take over and post some more specific examples of Megan's brand of evil. Because this? Has barely scratched the surface.


"RE: Painful questions of our time."
Posted by CTgirl on 12-30-08 at 06:18 PM
Wow! I'm really glad I lost track of her after Beauty and the Geek. B&TB obviously manipulated her edit to make her sympathetic since she was the eventual co-winner. Remembering how she was friends with CeCe and some of the comments she made early on, me thinks a lot was edited out! She's really a waste of a human being.


Cheers to Tribe!


"RE: Painful questions of our time."
Posted by Snidget on 12-30-08 at 07:01 PM
If that is one of the blonds she has taken photos with it could be she was friendly to her.

She seems to be friends with Brandi C, and they've also done post show modeling together.

It seemed like she likes to have one friend on the show with her. Makes it easier to work the schemes on other people when there is one on your side. Now Brandi C did come off as a bit co-dependent so I dunno if Cece was in that vein as well (didn't watch that show)


"RE: Silly question"
Posted by jbug on 12-30-08 at 06:59 PM
I've been waiting for someone to ask that question.
After looking at the responses? I think we're better off for not knowing who she is/was.



"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Maroonclown on 12-30-08 at 06:53 PM
*fans eyes to stop the misting*

Oh.My.God.

I am so honoured to be mentioned in an Estee Special.

*sneaks to the basement to add more chains*




"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by kidflash212 on 12-30-08 at 09:48 PM
Reality TV Memory 2008-

Realizing that if Dan & Andrew could make it to the final leg of Amazing Race 13 and Grumpy Scowling Girl could make it the the final of Top Chef: Chicago that every talented and capable person in the world must have already appeared on a reality show.

And Wizit singing Opera.


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Estee on 12-31-08 at 07:20 AM
I just remembered something I figured out a long time ago: that reality shows don't care about casting talented and capable people.

"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by ginger on 12-31-08 at 11:12 AM
LAST EDITED ON 12-31-08 AT 11:12 AM (EST)

Wizit! Gone too soon...



"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by dabo on 12-31-08 at 01:29 AM
The dracula girls on AGT doing the Don't Need No Georgie Clooney song.

It was bizarre and awful and I still have nightmares.



"паспорт?"
Posted by cahaya on 12-31-08 at 01:45 AM
Oops.


Ragtop Ride by foonermints


"Be-yotch alert"
Posted by Estee on 12-31-08 at 07:44 AM
For those who still want to find out who Megan is, VH1 is rerunning the I Love Money finale at 8:30 a.m. EST today. It'll be enough to get the idea.

"RE: Be-yotch alert"
Posted by Colonel Zoidberg on 12-31-08 at 08:31 AM
She seemed normal on BATG...at least compared to some of the players...


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by StarryLuna on 12-31-08 at 10:28 AM
Luna will never forgot how much Luna despised Suede's insistence on speaking about himself in the 3rd person. That drove Luna completely nuts.


Place witty comment here.


"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by ginger on 12-31-08 at 11:12 AM
Ginger is so with Luna on this.



"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by Estee on 12-31-08 at 11:27 AM
Estee has no idea what you two are talking about.

"RE: Reality TV Memories: 2008."
Posted by michel on 01-01-09 at 03:37 PM
LAST EDITED ON 01-01-09 AT 04:48 PM (EST)


Luckily we had the return of the Mole but my list is mostly Survivor moments. Moments where the DAWS' stupidity or ineptness made me laugh.

10- April needing to prove her boobs were real so she let Jerry grab them.

9- Blazing Speed Crystal, the Olympic gold medalist losing almost every challenge.

8- Ozzy being fooled by Parvati and her witches.

7- Ollie realizing that Dan wasn't going to let him decide who should go on the block.

6- Erik giving up his immunity.

5- Tina unable to find the chamber of echoes... echoes... echoes...

4- Kenny believing he was safe and still running the show.

3- The Dandrews racing in paper slippers... or simply the Dandrews racing.

2- Bobby in a wheelbarrow making it easy for Craig the Mole to sabotage yet another mission.

1- "It's just a stick!" Eliza telling Jason that his hidden idol wasn't real.

ETA: I just saw that CBS put up their favorite videos and "It's just a stick" is #1!

http://www.cbs.com/collections/best_of_2008_reality/