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Original Message
"Employee Rant"
Posted by frisky on 05-16-06 at 10:57 PM
This is a companion thread to Rasslinmomma's thread, I suppose.I am trying to be a really good inept, bumbling managewhore. I had my first meeting with the staff today, and I assured them that the days of autocratic bullcarp are over. We all are dedicated to rebuilding this department and bringing it out of the crater that the last inept, bumbling managewhore created.
Except for one person.
This person is still friends with the old manager. In fact, the old manager recently tried to continue getting this employee a raise even after she was retired. I found out, and my boss called HR and put a stop to it. Now, this particular employee has a lunch date with the old manager and two other retirees tomorrow.
So, had this employee come to me and said that she had a lunch date with her old friends, and that it might spill over an extra half hour or so, I, being a kinder, gentler managewhore, might very well have said "oh, go ahead, and just make up the time another day."
But no. This employee, who is a terrible employee in every respect, waited until we were in a group at kind of a break in the day. She told everyone about this lunch and turned to me and said "oh, and I'll be taking an extended lunch tomorrow, by the way. Mrs. Suchnsuch asked if it was okay and I said it was."
I was flabbergasted. I just looked at her with my mouth wide open while the conversation went into other directions. Then, I had a meeting with the fat cats (no offence intended, Frisque) and the day was done.
So, I have a course tomorrow morning, and then the beeyotch will be gone for lunch for dawg knows how long, and then I'm going to have a talk with her. She leaves early every day. EVERYONE in this office is totally committed to turning this place around, while she just wants to fvck the system and report all my doings to the old manager.
I have to talk to her. I hate this part of my job. But, when it comes down to it, everyone else is working so hard, and working through lunches, and taking on extra work, and this idiot just screws the royal puppy and expects a raise for doing nothing and so inappropriately TELLS her supervisor she's taking a long lunch instead of asking if it will be okay.
Am I powertripping?
Rolly made this.
Desperate Housecats
Table of contents
- RE: Employee Rant,EMTBGRL, 11:47 PM, 05-16-06
- RE: Employee Rant,frisky, 11:58 PM, 05-16-06
- RE: Employee Rant,Fishercat, 00:49 AM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,EMTBGRL, 04:31 PM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,mysticwolf, 00:37 AM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,frisky, 00:46 AM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,mysticwolf, 01:15 AM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,frisky, 01:35 AM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,dabo, 02:07 AM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,Bobdechemist, 10:38 AM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,rasslinmomma, 08:49 AM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,buckeyegirl, 08:54 AM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,zipperhead, 09:16 AM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,EMTBGRL, 04:36 PM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,Lasann, 09:44 AM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,brvnkrz, 04:36 PM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,frisky, 06:55 PM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,brvnkrz, 07:14 PM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,frisky, 07:21 PM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,ginger, 06:08 PM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,miamicatt, 06:10 PM, 05-17-06
- Take her down!,moonbaby, 06:44 PM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,frisky, 07:18 PM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,Sunny_Bunny, 09:09 PM, 05-17-06
- RE: Employee Rant,dabo, 01:10 AM, 05-18-06
- RE: Employee Rant,Bobdechemist, 10:40 AM, 05-18-06
- Wow!,weltek, 10:47 AM, 05-18-06
- RE: Wow!,Silvergirl1, 03:27 PM, 05-18-06
- RE: Employee Rant,mysticwolf, 06:50 PM, 05-18-06
- RE: Employee Rant,EMTBGRL, 09:05 AM, 05-19-06
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by EMTBGRL on 05-16-06 at 11:47 PM
>Am I powertripping? That depends. -- Do you have an established hierarchy that everyone else follows--except her? Or, is this personal? I would suggest not making small talk or making this personal. When you meet with her, make it completely on point, Something liiiiiiiike, "It is unacceptable to announce you will be extending your lunch. If you can just extend your lunch whenever you feel that is appropriate, I would have to extend the same courtesy to all other employees. Since that is not feasible to keep this company/school/hospital running, I expect you to ask in the future."
You could add, "I did not want to embarrass you by bringing this up in public, that's why I waited until now to bring this up. I am letting it go this time, because I thought you might not be aware of the written policy (show written policy) In the future, you will be written up/fired/spanked (Whatever you think is appropriate) if you do not ask for an extended lunch before traipsing out the door. (OK, I would not necessarily say "traipsing.")
So what if you are power tripping? You're the boss!
I, for one, am familiar with "boss" being the implied hierarchy. Apparently, this woman is not so informed (poor soul!) Do her a favor and educate her!
My somewhat unsolicited advice is make sure that you aren't angry when you speak to her, and that this isn't not personal, that you would have a problem with this if it was any other employee.
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by frisky on 05-16-06 at 11:58 PM
You continue to amaze me with your insight, EMTperson. Have I had the pleasure of sniffing your butt?Anyhoo, yes, I am concerned that this could be a personal thing between me and this person. She was a coworker for ten years, and I have never "approved" of her complete lack of work ethic. She, in turn, has never approved of my status as a divorced mother living with the father of my latest kitten in unwedded bliss and hasn't been shy about saying so. The old manager lost everyone. We two are the only holdouts from the old days. This is the only thing we have in common.
Obviously, I have personal issues with this person, which is why I'm looking for some objective opinions here.
What bothers me is that everyone else works really hard and follows "the rules" and they respect my position. They notice her leaving early and sluffing off work whenever she gets the chance. They know she filters all information to the old boss, so they don't give her a lot of info.
There's much more to it. She is racist and classist. She is rude to students and applicants over the phone. The old manager let her get away with this. She could have (and has) told the old manager that she's taking extra time on her lunch and the old manager would have done nothing.
I? Need to start rewarding the GOOD employees by putting this one BAD employee in her place, IMO. People aren't blind. They see that this person is cheating and that nothing is getting done. In my opinion, I'm not respecting their hard work if I'm letter her sh!tty work slide.
Rolly made this.
Desperate Housecats
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by Fishercat on 05-17-06 at 00:49 AM
I see no reason to give her special treatment.In this case, it may be a good idea to lay down the law. Who knows, if you're strict enough with her over time, she may quit, and you are rid of the bad apple. You either have a disgruntled, rule-following employee or you don't have a disgruntled, rule-following employee. Seems good to me. But I'm not management.
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by EMTBGRL on 05-17-06 at 04:31 PM
>You continue to amaze me with
>your insight, EMTperson. Have
>I had the pleasure of
>sniffing your butt?
>
::headbutt: That'll do, frisky.>I have never "approved" of
>her complete lack of work
>ethic.
If you are her manager at work, this is a legit concern. Not personal. Business.
She, in turn,
>has never approved of my
>status as a divorced mother
>living with the father of
>my latest kitten in unwedded
>bliss and hasn't been shy
>about saying so.
It isn't illegal to be a jerk from her own living room. However, making statements that make you uncomfortable at work are harrassment, this one falls under "marital status." Not allowed to judge the divorcees of the world for being-well, divorced-from the non-privacy of their cubicle. That IS illegal in most workplaces.
>>Obviously, I have personal issues with
>this person, which is why
>I'm looking for some objective
>opinions here.
That makes you a smart cat!
>
>What bothers me is that everyone
>else works really hard and
>follows "the rules" and they
>respect my position. They
>notice her leaving early and
>sluffing off work whenever she
>gets the chance.
To be fair? Poor employees are always the result of poor managing. Sorry, but it's true. One bad apple always begs the question, (and I am sure the 'good' employees are wondering, too) "Why is she still HERE?" If you aren't the one in the position to make this decision? I agree with "document, document, document!" And then bring the documents to the attention of the person that IS in charge of hiring/ firing (if it isn't you.)
BE CAREFUL, though (Document legit gripes about work performance and not things that demonstrate she's a terrible human being. That's the difference between 'fair' and 'vengeance.' Anything that is fair game is something that you would write up the 'good' employees if they did it, too. Is that clearer?
(I have been a supervisor. I know we have our favorites. My 'test' for this was, "If I was written up for this, and reported, would I understand why, or see this as unfair?" Works every time.)
>There's much more to it.
>She is racist and classist.
AT work?? That is 100% a fireable offense in ANY reputable company. Do you have others to back you up on this? (By the way, I am curious how you are determining "classist' which is different than 'snob.') Does she meet the harrassment clause?
> She is rude to students and applicants over the
>phone.
WHOA! As Shrek would say, "Hold the phone!" I cannot think of ANY school/corporation/business that would stand for poor treatment of its clients or potential clients either over the telephone or in person. Point out the "losing money over her behavior" and you might get somewhere. Having documentation of these calls would help, too. What the heck does she say? Is it tone, or actual words? I just recently decided to not allow my daughter to apply to a college we visited because the receptionist was so rude to me. I am aware that schools are supposed to put their best customer service at the desks and on the phones. I figured if that was an example of their "best" customer service? I didn't want to pay for the "worst" and I didn't want my daughter to pay, either.
Keep that in mind. If you need testimony, there's some.
The old manager
>let her get away with
>this.
I feel the need to point out the obvious: You are not the old manager. She knows this. You know this. Why perpetuate the behavior (if you are) because she expects you to? Sometimes change sucks for people--that's why it's called "work" and not "vacation." (which is also a change, but it's just different.)
She could have
>(and has) told the old
>manager that she's taking extra
>time on her lunch and
>the old manager would have
>done nothing.
Ummm..if the old manager is gone--why is this an issue? I hate the "But, we used to do it THIS way--" When I get that? I say, "Well, NOW we are -- and fill in the blank."
>
>I? Need to start rewarding
>the GOOD employees by putting
>this one BAD employee in
>her place, IMO.
These two things are not connected. This might be an unpopular response, but I do feel this way. A paycheck is a reward for a job well done. Do well? You stay employed! Do badly? You get no paycheck, because you lose your job. The only thing that I have ever discovered a good employee wanting? More money. That's it. (And a glowing reference if the day comes he or she wants to go someplace else) Unless you are prepared to give everyone a monetary bonus (but her) separate the two issues.
Other people shouldn't be rewarded because this woman is behaving badly. They should be rewarded for doing well, in the way that they are always rewarded for doing well where you work.
The poor performer should get what ALL poor performers should get--fired.
People
>aren't blind. They see
>that this person is cheating
>and that nothing is getting
>done.
They might be looking to walk and take their glowing reviews with them.
In my opinion,
>I'm not respecting their hard
>work if I'm letter her
>sh!tty work slide.
No. You are not respecting their hard work if you are not recognizing their work on their own merits. Again, these are separate issues.
If you are letting an employees sh*tty work slide, ask yourself this: Why does she have so much power over you? IF you continue to let her sh*tty work slide? She's the boss, not you. Call her in for a conference on her work. Point out the things that make her work sh*tty and outline EXACTLY what needs to change (in writing is best) if she wants to remain employed.
Don't be her friend. Don't be anyone's friend at work. Be objective all the time. Have friends after work. That might sound harsh--but, it's true. I also would absolutely NEVER discuss her with anyone that is lower than lateral to your position. The person that will look bad will be you. (But, I'm sure you already know that..since you are such a good cat!)
I had a friend outside of work that decided to work for me one day. He and a coworker had an issue with each other. I was the manager in the position of refereeing them. I heard them both out. At the end of the story, I decided that the person that was wrong was the employee that was a close friend outside of work. He thought he had me in his pocket (based on our friendship) which is a normal expectation, I suppose. I disciplined him in the way I would for anyone else. Behind closed doors he said, "I can't believe you would do this! I thought we were friends!" He was angry. I said, "AT work I am your manager. AFter work I am your friend." He said, "How can you separate the two?" I said, "It's what's fair to everyone that works here, even to you. Do you want me to play favorites?" He said no. You know what's interesting? After he coolled off? It brought us closer as friends, because he realized that I was right. Managers have the responsibility to be objective, and not play favorites (or go after one particular employee in the way you wouldn't for anyone else, either.)
Hope that helps!
>
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by mysticwolf on 05-17-06 at 00:37 AM
Nope. You are not power tripping. I had an employee like this. They're a real trip. Most passive-agressives are. I'd probably have looked her in the eye, blinked, smiled, and said - in front of everyone - something like, "Oh. You did? I'm really sorry that you're in this position, but I'm afraid you're going to have to explain that you were mistaken and that you're going to have to eat and run. With things as they are I'm afraid that extended breaks aren't possible without working them out with me beforehand. I hope you have a nice lunch in the time you have available. I'll see you back here at whatevertimesheshouldbeback."As it is, yes, you have to talk to her. I'd simply explain that you didn't want to embarrass, but that you're afraid that you're going to have to dock her (or, if that's not done, formally note the extra time taken) as it wasn't pre-planned. Given the current situation in the office you simply can't afford to allow extensions that aren't discussed in advance, nor can you be thought to be playing favorites by doing so. In future, if she wishes to avoid embarassment, she needs to come to you privately, in advance, to discuss such things.
You really can't win with this type. Either you take charge and deal with her displeasure, or you risk having everyone else upset that she's getting away with murder. As it is, if you reprimand her you can be cerain that she'll be crying to everyone about what a bitch you are (which she'll do anyway). They, knowing the real score, will probably commisserate with her in order to avoid conflict, then go away laughing behind their hands about her finally getting what she deserves.
Whatever you do - document, document, document. (Yes, you have to document everyone else's transgressions, too. But, trust me, hers will stand out.) And, whenever possible - like when you speak with her tomorrow - have another mgmt. employee present to bear witness.
Good luck.
I eventually managed to get mine transferred to someone who believed her that I was a bitch. Before a month was out he realized that he, her supposed savior, was viewed as a bastard by her because he actually expected her to work, too. He spent many an hour in my office kvetching about her &/or looking for advice on how to handle her.
There was a multi-department party, gleefully attended by all levels of staff and management, when she finally retired and we "helped" her out the door. We were almost, but not quite, ashamed of ourselves by how "helpful" we were. With everyone carrying something all it took was one trip & we opened the door to her car for her & stood, en masse, in the drive waving goodbye. It was like the "goodnight" scene from "The Sound of Music". The rest of the afternoon was one long, pre-planned, party attended by the Plant Mgr. down to the plant floor folks.
{{HUGS}}
Puppy Lvoe from Tribe blogging's scary
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by frisky on 05-17-06 at 00:46 AM
Oh I thank my lucky stars for my wise friends of OT.>I'd simply explain that you didn't want to embarrass, but that you're afraid that you're going to have to dock her (or, if that's not done, formally note the extra time taken) as it wasn't pre-planned. Given the current situation in the office you simply can't afford to allow extensions that aren't discussed in advance, nor can you be thought to be playing favorites by doing so. In future, if she wishes to avoid embarassment, she needs to come to you privately, in advance, to discuss such things.
Excellent points. This is SO helping me put it all into perspective. Thank you.
Something that is on my side is that the big cheese, the ultra-fat cat, agrees with me that this person just doesn't fit anymore.
Rolly made this.
Desperate Housecats
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by mysticwolf on 05-17-06 at 01:15 AM
LAST EDITED ON 05-17-06 AT 01:18 AM (EST)Be prepared. If anyone has had, or does have, an emergency in the future she's gonna bring it up. You'll probably have to explain at some point (unless it is brought up by her tomorrow I'd wait until the time comes) that there is a defference between an emergency/unexpected happening and lunch for lunch's sake.
And make sure you document what's said in the meeting, whether you have a witness or not. Three copies, with where they are going noted. One to her - have her sign it. One to Personnel (copy of signed). One to your own file (copy of signed). Actually, Personnel gets the original signed copy, she and you get the copies. If nothing else has ever gotten her attention I can guarantee the formality of that will spin her head. Watch out for the pea soup.
Puppy Lvoe from Tribe blogging's scary
And, be aware that following the meeting you will either get exaggerated "co-operation"/notification of everything up to, and including, her bathroom breaks, or the cold shoulder. Probably a combination of both. Such is the life of a passive-agressive. If either, or both, become destructive to the workplace they are also actionable and documentable. Having the fat cat on your side is a definite plus. Just make sure they're informed of how things are progressing without making it the only topic of your interaction with them. You'll be fine.
Edit for clarity
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by frisky on 05-17-06 at 01:35 AM
Said fat cat is totally in my camp. Yes, that is a big plus. Thanks for your advice. *smoochies*
Rolly made this.
Desperate Housecats
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by dabo on 05-17-06 at 02:07 AM
LAST EDITED ON 05-17-06 AT 02:07 AM (EST)I have a coworker who pulls this sort of thing all the time, everyone else in the department would just love it if those in charge would just crack down on her, lousy goldbrick.
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by Bobdechemist on 05-17-06 at 10:38 AM
I agree.When you are a hard worker and you see other sluffing off and not being chastised or impacted in any way by doing no work, it really annoys the other workers. Good work should be rewarded. Bad work should not.
I may suggest that you not make this about the one extended lunch, but more about her hours in general (and avoid the fact that you hate her guts of course). If she takes off early every day, that should be stopped.
This is why I am always the lazy, sluffing off one. Less resentment.
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by rasslinmomma on 05-17-06 at 08:49 AM
Hmph. I figured I deserved a long lunch after the day I had Monday. See if I ever ask you for anything again. Seriously, it looks like you've gotten some great advice. Set the tone of the relationship with her now. Waiting will only give her a chance to complain that you're changing the rules, and that you are picking on her. Good luck!
Courtesy of the very talented ARnutz
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by buckeyegirl on 05-17-06 at 08:54 AM
LAST EDITED ON 05-17-06 AT 08:55 AM (EST)As a former supervisor, you are not powertripping. This however, is the worst part of being a supervisor. I had a cashier that was always 15-20 minutes to work, then was an additional 5 or 7 minutes late back from break..after letting this go on a while, I finally had a chat with her. As did every other supervisor in the place. She actually ended up getting fired for being late, but she in turn affected all the other cashiers around her..they were late going home, going to break, then they felt they could be late...I'd definetly nip this in the bud now.
Edited to add that MysticWolf is super smhart!
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by zipperhead on 05-17-06 at 09:16 AM
LAST EDITED ON 05-17-06 AT 09:16 AM (EST)I would've b!tch-slapped her right then and there, in front of everybody. Of course, I'm a big proponent of b!tch-slapping. I b!tch-slapped several people just the other day. I have to take pain medications for my wrist, I b!tch-slap so often.
What?
Your smile bothers me
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by EMTBGRL on 05-17-06 at 04:36 PM
>LAST EDITED ON 05-17-06
>AT 09:16 AM (EST)
>
>I would've b!tch-slapped her right then
>and there, in front of
>everybody. Of course, I'm a
>big proponent of b!tch-slapping. I
>b!tch-slapped several people just the
>other day. I have to
>take pain medications for my
>wrist, I b!tch-slap so often.
>
>
>
>
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by Lasann on 05-17-06 at 09:44 AM
There's already excellent advice up there. I especially liked this from Mystic: And, be aware that following the meeting you will either get exaggerated "co-operation"/notification of everything up to, and including, her bathroom breaks, or the cold shoulder. Probably a combination of both. Such is the life of a passive-agressive.
I've seen this a zillion times from co-workers. For instance, loudly proclaiming, "I'm going the the ladies' room if NO ONE MINDS!" *giggle*
Yea Gads, that's why I don't want to supervise!
Good luck.
Heaven on Earth! That’s me lying on the beach *giggle*
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by brvnkrz on 05-17-06 at 04:36 PM
Aren't you the one who told a coworker that you could eat her under the table? Or was that Pooh who told that story? Well if it was you, this isn't the same employee is it? Because if so, you may want to let her get away with whatever she watns. *grin*
One nation under George, divided.
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by frisky on 05-17-06 at 06:55 PM
OMG no! The woman I told I would eat under the table is NOT in my department thank DAWG!!
Rolly made this.
Desperate Housecats
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by brvnkrz on 05-17-06 at 07:14 PM
*snort* You really have no idea how many people I have told that story to and just laughed so hard.
One nation under George, divided.
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by frisky on 05-17-06 at 07:21 PM
Oh yeah? Well I could *snort* you under the table.
Rolly made this.
Desperate Housecats
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by ginger on 05-17-06 at 06:08 PM
Nope. And if you calmly spell out why it is inappropriate that she leave early and take long lunches (esp. without checking with you), and back it up with concrete logical example-type stuff like "I see last week you left early on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday...this means extra work for the other employees...." you are doing your job. Our firm used to keep employees around without confronting them about problem behaviour and then, when the straw broke some camel's back, the employee was sometimes genuinely shocked to be fired. I think honesty is kinder/more fair to an employee than not.
Of course, I was a personnel director here for several years so I am preaching FROM the converted, so to speak.
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by miamicatt on 05-17-06 at 06:10 PM
*gasp*You've gone to the Dark Side, haven't you?
"Take her down!"
Posted by moonbaby on 05-17-06 at 06:44 PM
The other employees resent her-she's a slacker and a morale buster.
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by frisky on 05-17-06 at 07:18 PM
Okay, I spent the morning in a workshop about conflict resolution, ironically.I got back to the office at about 12:45. I asked around if the old manager came in when they went to lunch, because everyone was dreading this. They said no, she didn't come in, but she phoned and asked the receptionist to call the bad employee and let her know she'd be a bit late. This ticked me off, because here's a former boss bossing people around! Geez...
Okay, so they said that the lunch crew left at 11:40.
At 2:00, I told the bad employee's direct supervisor (who has no hire/fire power, BTW, which is why I'm dealing with disciplinary issues for the bad employee) that I wanted to meet with both of them when and if she EVER came back from lunch and that I had to lay down the ground rules.
She finally returned at 3:00. The old manager and the other retiree came in with her. Thankfully, I was in my office with another employee with the door shut. I heard all the ruckus in the main office. I also heard "tap tap tapping" on my door, which I knew was the old manager since she's the type who will interrupt a business meeting for a personal chat. I ignored it and continued my meeting.
So, then, about 20 minutes later, I came out of my office and they were still there. They were back in the kitchen with the bad employee (who was now over 3 1/2 hours away from her desk now) and were just getting up to leave. They called me, I stopped, had some stilted small talk and then told them I was busy. They left, I went upstairs, had some brief meetings in offices while working my way up to the bad employee's office.
She was sitting at her desk when I went in, and her supervisor was sitting at her desk. They were quietly working. I closed the door, which she knew Was Bad. I sat down and told her that I had some problems with the way she told me about her extended lunch.
She burst into tears.
Um, so, I told her I'm not here to upset her, I just want her to know that if she has an extended lunch, she should ask first, and because I'm so damn nice, I will be okay with it 10 times out of 10. She just needs to ask, not tell. She continued to bawl, and blurted out "I'm sorry I was so late!"
Okay, so obviously she knows she was being bad and went overboard with the three hour lunch. Oh, and I could just hear the old manager keeping her out late to play, telling her "don't worry, dear, just tell her you're with me."
So, I repeated that the problem was in the way she told me, without asking, in a group of people, some of them new employees. She started saying that "this must be why" the receptionist was "so rude" to them, particularly the old manager. I said I didn't know anything about that, but what I want to get clear is this: and I continued talking about the issue at hand.
So, she apologized and kept bursting into tears and drying up and bursting and drying etc. After what turned into a long discussion about how I'm trying to level the playing field instead of playing favourites like the old manager, I left.
Then, I went back down to reception, where the receptionist told me that while I was in my office with the door closed, the old manager was following her around, watching her photocopy, asking her what she's photocopying and why, who's it for, why are you doing THAT? etc. Receptionist was exasperated and quite p!ssed. I calm her down, and apologize for not "being there" to tell the old manager to take a hike.
My phone rings and thank dawg it's one of the fat cats asking me how my day is going, and I told him everything and about the old boss coming in and bossing around and stuff. He's appalled and disgusted.
So then I write to my direct fat cat to tell him what I did and what the old manager did with the receptionist.
So, I'm all documented, the stories are all straight, I'm exhausted and I need a drink.
Honestly, they don't pay me enough to do this. *gasp*
Thanks, OT.
Rolly made this.
Desperate Housecats
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by Sunny_Bunny on 05-17-06 at 09:09 PM
I said I didn't know anything about that, but what I want to get clear is this: and I continued talking about the issue at hand.You so hit the nail on the head. The biggest trick of the Passive-Agressive is to pull out the excuse train, followed by the oh-I'm-so-misunderstood, the you-(or somebody else)-hate me, to the you-are-such-a-b****, whoever came before you was soooooo much better, brak brak brak. You see the pattern here, don't you? It will NEVER be her fault, and she will twist and turn like a worm on a hot plate till she figures out the way to control...YOU. You were right on the money stopping her excuse train right from the start! (btw, the "tears" she shed were also part of that ploy, to switch the focus from what she DID to what she FELT)
I hate to say this, but you may end up having to fire this woman to protect your department. You stopped her excuse train cold. So, this passive-agressive's next move will be to spread her particular brand of sunshine around the office. It's like a poison that spreads, but hey, it wont be HER falt if everyone else starts getting upset at stupid sh**. But they will get increasingly upset that their workload increases as she continues to do stuff, and the fact that you wont handle the problem.
Sounds to me like you have a good handle on it, good luck Luv.
The reason I know this? I teach, and I have at least one passive agressive student in every class.
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by dabo on 05-18-06 at 01:10 AM
Good job, frisky. Keep up the good work.
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by Bobdechemist on 05-18-06 at 10:40 AM
Just call if you need me to deal with Little Miss Sunshine.You may need a dustpan and whisk afterwards.
Is it terrible that I really don't have huge sympathy for people who cry when they BROUGHT IT ALL ON THEMSELVES.
"Wow!"
Posted by weltek on 05-18-06 at 10:47 AM
I'm so proud of you, Frisky! You are doing your new job just as it should be! Extra treats for you!It would be nice if the Fat Cats would write old manager a formal letter telling her really, her job with them is done. Seriously. Done.
"RE: Wow!"
Posted by Silvergirl1 on 05-18-06 at 03:27 PM
It would be nice if the Fat Cats would write old manager a formal letter telling her really, her job with them is done. Seriously. Done.
I agree with Weltek. Have them write this woman a letter or call her to remind her she's RETIRED!
And all that manipulative crying is a PITA. You deserve a medal for putting up with that BS from that employee. She is clearly trying to undermine your authority any way she can.
Spring sig pic by Arkiegrl! Bouncing starfish by Ice Cat!
Swim with me
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by mysticwolf on 05-18-06 at 06:50 PM
Great job, kittycat! Sorry, forgot to mention the tears. As pointed out, it's a classic ploy. If goes right along with the "Oh, you're so right. I know I shouldn't have done what I did, and I'm soooo, soooo sorry." carp. Her next step, if tears don't make you melt and feel sorry for her, will probably be outright outrage that you dare to pick on her, you missunderstand her, etc. Followed by her wanting you to spell out exactly, in excrutiating detail, precisely what you want her to do & how. Of course, you can never do so completely. Therefore, it will be all your fault when she screws up because you never said you expected that. Mind games, all of it.Just keep reminding yourself that you're doing just fine, it's her that needs to change, or go.
Puppy Lvoe from Tribe blogging's scary
"RE: Employee Rant"
Posted by EMTBGRL on 05-19-06 at 09:05 AM
>>Just keep reminding yourself that you're
>doing just fine, it's her
>that needs to change, or
>go.
>
>Spot on, Mystic! Tell yourself: "I am not human Prozac, either."
It's also your job to manage her, but not to rescue her. If she comes to you and says, "Does our health insurance plan accept therapists out of network?" that's appropriate. or for Human Resources. Other than that question? Her conflama is not your problem, but her work performance is. As long as you believe that, too, and treat her accordingly, you should be fine. You've also already admitted she's not your friend. Why treat her like one? I am not saying kick her. I am saying treat her like an employee, any employee, (in both rewards and punishments) and take the "personal" out of the relationship.
Do I have a heart? Sure. Do I smell a manipulator a mile away? Yes. Do I accept that behavior in the workplace? No. Someone crying at work as a result of their poor performance or you "Being mean to them" is out of line. This is a place of business, not a preschool playground!
If someone kept falling apart where I worked, I would ask, "Do you need to take some personal time off to get yourself together?" That usually stops people short. (Where I work? displaying 'falling apart' is immediate termination. Who the heck wants crew around like that in an emergency??)
My job aside, I feel very strongly that "personal" and "business" should be separate. That includes the waterworks. and the (almost) announcement this woman is making, "I need therapy." Well, good for her, she should get some therapy--after hours. or find a friend. That's not you.
Who needs that at work?
I would like to add that I am very proud of how you handled yourself, with her, and with your meeting (not allowing yourself to be interrupted) and with the Fat Cats. I also agree with the poster upthread that said maybe it's time to let the OLD manager know she's the OLD manager (Ummm..that's code for GET OUT!) You're kinder than me. If I had seen said "Old manager" with MY employee? I would have redirected my employee away from old manager, with a task that had nothing to do with old manager. I would not let old manager FOLLOW my employee, and if old manager TRIED to follow my employee? I would have asked old manager to leave, and why. If old manager did not leave? I would have fat cat immediately do same. If old manager then insisted on returning (and, in my opinion, disrupt my workplace and employee(s)?) I would have old manager removed from the premises. After all, some people really CAN'T take a hint.
But, it sounds like fat cat might take step 3 for you. If old manager comes back, it might work to just walk right up and say, "I'm sorry, but I am confused as to why you are still here. It was my understanding you are no longer in this position." Wait. Say nothing else. Know that if what you just said is true, whatever gets said back to you will likely be emotional, not fact. If there is fact behind it, listen to the facts (only) and address those. Throw the emotional part out. Some people also don't know when the party's over.
Sheesh! Old manager needs to get out of your litterbox!
::head butt::
So far, so good, frisky!! Keep up the good work!