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Original Message
"Tears in my world"

Posted by mrc on 05-11-06 at 10:46 AM
Normally, I am very private. I try not to reveal too much of myself on OT. Today is different, though. I've had tears in my eyes all morning b/c of this e-mail.

My name is Billy Evans. I AM A very sick little boy.

My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She Is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so Sick. I was Born without A body. It doesn't hurt, Except when I try to breathe.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is A burlap Bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the Best they could do ON account of us having No money OR Insurance.

I would like to have A body transplant, but we need More money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody Hires crying people. I said, " Don't cry, Mommy" and She hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, Even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her Sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you Forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to People you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for Every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates Will team up with AOL and send A nickel to NASA. With That funding, NASA will collect prayers from school Children all over America and have the astronauts take Them up into space so that the angels can hear them Better.

Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, And he will take up A collection IN church and send All the money to the doctors. The doctors could help Me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to Play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can Take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be Closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy is so Sad and and I want A body. I don't want my leaves to rot Before I turn 10

If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy Says you're A mean and heartless bastard who doesn't Care about A poor little boy with only A head. She Says that if you don't stew IN the raw pit of your own Guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die A long slow, Horrible death and then burn forever IN hell.

What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take Five freakin' minutes to forward this to all your Friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about Ignoring A poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy? Please Help me.

I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had A Kitty. I wish I could hold A kitty. I wish I could Hold A kitty that wouldn't chew ON me and try to bury Its turds IN the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that Very much.

Thank You,

Billy " Smiles " Evans

Tears of laughter, that is.

Ferociously purrfected by thndrkttn


Table of contents
  • RE: Tears in my world,Estee, 10:56 AM, 05-11-06
    • RE: Tears in my world,mrc, 01:24 PM, 05-11-06
  • RE: Tears in my world,RollDdice, 11:09 AM, 05-11-06
  • RE: Tears in my world,motormouth, 11:21 AM, 05-11-06
    • RE: Tears in my world,Snidget, 12:04 PM, 05-11-06
      • RE: Tears in my world,mrc, 06:48 PM, 05-11-06
    • RE: Tears in my world,mrc, 01:12 PM, 05-11-06
      • RE: Tears in my world,motormouth, 02:23 PM, 05-11-06
  • RE: Tears in my world,Bobdechemist, 01:26 PM, 05-11-06
    • RE: Tears in my world,Estee, 01:35 PM, 05-11-06
      • RE: Tears in my world,Bobdechemist, 02:44 PM, 05-11-06
        • RE: Tears in my world,Estee, 02:58 PM, 05-11-06
          • RE: Tears in my world,Bobdechemist, 09:58 AM, 05-12-06
  • RE: Tears in my world,jkokoj, 01:30 PM, 05-11-06
  • RE: Tears in my world,cahaya, 02:28 PM, 05-11-06
  • RE: Tears in my world,dragonflies, 02:30 PM, 05-11-06
    • RE: Tears in my world,mrc, 06:49 PM, 05-11-06
  • RE: Tears in my world,Seana, 02:38 PM, 05-11-06
    • RE: Tears in my world,mrc, 06:49 PM, 05-11-06
      • RE: Tears in my world,Snidget, 06:51 PM, 05-11-06
  • RE: Tears in my world,Molaholic, 02:56 PM, 05-11-06
    • RE: Tears in my world,mrc, 06:50 PM, 05-11-06
  • RE: Tears in my world,dabo, 00:48 AM, 05-12-06
  • RE: Tears in my world,nailbone, 09:11 AM, 05-12-06
    • RE: Tears in my world,cqvenus, 09:36 AM, 05-12-06

Messages in this discussion
"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by Estee on 05-11-06 at 10:56 AM
There's a science-fiction novel. It's really pretty good. It's called Jack The Bodiless.

This post just ruined it for me. Forever.

Thanks, Scary Book Killing Guy. :p



"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by mrc on 05-11-06 at 01:24 PM
I actually figured this was your handiwork. It sounded like some of your snark.

"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by RollDdice on 05-11-06 at 11:09 AM
Dance, Billy! Dance!


Oh, wait. Maybe that's Billy Elliott.


"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by motormouth on 05-11-06 at 11:21 AM
*snort*



Handcrafted by RollDdice

You do realize that I was genuinely concerned for you when I read the title, right?


"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by Snidget on 05-11-06 at 12:04 PM
*THWHAAAAAACK*

*snort, giggle*

I hereby declare you: 'Blacksmith of the Underworld'--ZombieBaby

You do realize that I was genuinely concerned for you when I read the title, right?

Me too.

Hmmmmm...who do I need to forward this too *rubs hands*


"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by mrc on 05-11-06 at 06:48 PM
You're so nice, Snidgey.

"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by mrc on 05-11-06 at 01:12 PM
I'm mean, aren't I?

"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by motormouth on 05-11-06 at 02:23 PM
Mean and skeery!


A PhoenixMons Original

but enough about your good qualities...



"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by Bobdechemist on 05-11-06 at 01:26 PM
That is so sad. I forwarded to everyone on my email list. We are all going to get together and donate a fresh leaf or 6 for poor little billy.

Though maybe kitty litter would be more effective.

"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by Estee on 05-11-06 at 01:35 PM
I forwarded to everyone on my email list.

I'm sure that you and your three lab rats will make a significant contribution.


"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by Bobdechemist on 05-11-06 at 02:44 PM
Look! I'll have you know I have REAL friends!

They can talk and type and collect leaves and all sorts of stuff.



Well,(*checks graph*) in three rat generations, they will.


"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by Estee on 05-11-06 at 02:58 PM
We couldn't wait that long.



"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by Bobdechemist on 05-12-06 at 09:58 AM
That wouldn't be a sig, would it?

mmmm ratburgers!

"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by jkokoj on 05-11-06 at 01:30 PM
evil evil!! LOL

"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by cahaya on 05-11-06 at 02:28 PM
Heeeeeere, kitty-kitty!

*laugh*


An Arkie Asian creation, with Foo dog images by Bob.


"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by dragonflies on 05-11-06 at 02:30 PM
Nothing snarky to add, just another

WHACK!


I was worried about you at first too!


"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by mrc on 05-11-06 at 06:49 PM
Aww! Thanks, DF.

"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by Seana on 05-11-06 at 02:38 PM
Ha! I love this one.


My favourite of all time, though, is "The Axis of Just-as-Evil", which is dated now, but still really funny.


"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by mrc on 05-11-06 at 06:49 PM
I haven't read that one. Can you post it?

"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by Snidget on 05-11-06 at 06:51 PM
I think this is it http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/axis.shtml

"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by Molaholic on 05-11-06 at 02:56 PM
*WHACK* to the head.

My favorite line --
"Maybe one day I will be able to Play baseball. Right now I can only be third base."

So now you own me some clean chonies, since I just soiled my own.


“Either we are alone in the universe or we are not. Either possibility is simply astonishing.” Carl Sagan.


"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by mrc on 05-11-06 at 06:50 PM
Chonies?

"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by dabo on 05-12-06 at 00:48 AM
Best Humor Post Of The Week!

Bravo!


"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by nailbone on 05-12-06 at 09:11 AM
I forward this on to my best bud, and this was his response:

Well I'll bet Chuck Norris could help. First of all....a drop kick to that whinny little boy's head would make him forget about not having a body....second...a roundhouse kick to his mom's head would knock her tear glands all the way to China, and she could finally get a job(the lazy #####)"boo hoo I can't get a job because I'm crying" POW...that's where Chuck comes in. And kitty my ass! That's the last thing he needs to worry about. What if Chuck did a spinning back fist so fast it caught his leaves on fire! Where would he be then???????? Huh??????????



Sig by Slice

Holey carp! My blog! MySpace!
Official OT Tassel Adjuster o-

Did I mention that he's insane?

"RE: Tears in my world"
Posted by cqvenus on 05-12-06 at 09:36 AM
i love him.

~ cq