I'm pissy and b!thcy this morning. Why? you ask. Well let me tell you.
All day long yesterday we were being told that we should expect 8 to 12 inches of snow and ice to fall last night. Woohoo. I was looking forward to a morning of sleeping in, fixing blueberry pancakes from scratch, frying up some maple bacon and snuggling in front of the fire and watching movies all day.
I live out in the middle of nowhere at the bottom of a huge hill, so getting out on a bad day doesn't work even in 4-wheel, darn
Anyway, I stayed up way too late last night, well, why not when I KNEW I wasn't going to have to get up at 5! Even the weatherman at 10pm said stay home! So, I wake up at 7:30, stretch lazily and lay there all snuggly and warm beneath the down comforter. Eventually I mosey to the kitchen and what the hell do I see out the front door?! Nothing! Well barely anything.
Yep, we got about an inch, one inch does not make 8 inches people!
So here I am, at work, disgruntled and irritated and sulking.

So here's your challenge.
Tell me a really good joke. It can be about anything, Micheal Jackson, blondes, Osama, anything. Just cheer me up.
TummyBreez

a beautiful kyngsladye original
Proud Member of the RBBRTFHLA/Sugar Ho Group
Here's my joke of the day, not that it's funny but it's the only new one I've heard in forever.

When do you know it's time to leave Neverland?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
*Groan

• RE: Stupid weathermen!,true, 10:38 AM, 02-05-04
  • RE: Stupid weathermen!,Ahtumbreez, 10:45 AM, 02-05-04
• Here ya go..,CantStandToLook, 10:40 AM, 02-05-04
  • RE: Here ya go..,Ahtumbreez, 10:48 AM, 02-05-04
    • RE: Here ya go..,CantStandToLook, 11:29 AM, 02-05-04
• RE: Stupid weathermen!,DebCapsFan, 10:54 AM, 02-05-04
• RE: Stupid weathermen!,Schnookie Palookie, 10:57 AM, 02-05-04
• So that means that...,northernlights, 10:58 AM, 02-05-04
• RE: Stupid weathermen!,tjstein, 11:13 AM, 02-05-04
• RE: Stupid weathermen!,Devious Weasel, 11:31 AM, 02-05-04
  • RE: Stupid weathermen!,Ahtumbreez, 12:24 PM, 02-05-04
• RE: Stupid weathermen!,Coconut, 11:38 AM, 02-05-04
  • RE: Stupid weathermen!,Ahtumbreez, 12:27 PM, 02-05-04
    • ME?,Coconut, 02:04 PM, 02-05-04

We must have the same weatherman.

All the schools got cancelled following the huge deal they made about this (non) storm. The backpeddling on the news this morning was humorous. Sorry you got stuck going to work, and I hope it stays calm until you are safely home.

true - I'm not sure they're the same but I AM pretty sure they drink together. ALOT!
TummyBreez

a beautiful kyngsladye original
Proud Member of the RBBRTFHLA/Sugar Ho Group

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the
Tennessee Titans?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one
enjoys it?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian
faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
Hooters.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
called Holes?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale
bread to begin with?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who
drives a racecar is not called a racist?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older; then it dawned on me ....they're cramming for their final
exam.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons
and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are
we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on
the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the
mail?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

19 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

From Hooper, via Hal Braun.

RECENT SURVEYS
A recent study found out which days men prefer to have sex. It was found
that men preferred to engage in sexual activity on the days that started
with the letter "T".

Examples of those days are as follows:

Tuesday

Thursday

Thanksgiving

Today

Tomorrow

Thaturday

Thunday
_________________________________

A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get out of bed in the
middle of the night:

5% said it was to get a glass of water

12% said it was to go to the toilet

83% said it was to go home

"Winter Toast by JSlice"

Man, you really deliver. *snort*
loved 4
smooch
TummyBreez

a beautiful kyngsladye original
Proud Member of the RBBRTFHLA/Sugar Ho Group

I try...blatantly ripped off from co-worker

Love nookies list as well

"Winter Toast by JSlice"

Actually, my father is a meteorologist with NOAA (he does the seas forecasts), and about 99.9% of the time when he gives me a forecast, it's right on the money. All you have to do is ask me nicely and I'll let you know what he says.
(protecting the image of meteorologists who certainly are not all stupid... since 1977)

LAST EDITED ON 02-05-04 AT 10:57 AM (EST)

I'm pissy and b!tchy this morning but for different reasons

Here's a game to play at the office:

Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows:

ONE POINT

Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

When they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew.

Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINTS

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it." - Double points if you do this to a manager.

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINTS

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.

Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number two".

After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

In a colleague's diary, write in 10 am: "See how I look in tights".

Carry your laptop over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now"

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it"

Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.

Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, "not now" and walk away.

*HUGS* for Tummy

...I shouldn't cancel my hair appointment tomorrow? We're under a Winter Storm Watch at the moment and they're calling for a shitload of snow and strong winds creating whiteout conditions for tomorrow.

I'm sitting here trying to decide if I should reschedule the appointment. I just know that if I cancel it there will be no snow but I really need to cover my greys. If I lived in town I wouldn't even give it a second thought, but I live out in the boonies too and the 45 minute ride home can end up being an hour and a half of white knuckle driving on days like that.

>one inch does not make 8 inches people *snicker*

I'm starting to think it's a Missouri thing. They must send all the "C-" meteorologists to Missouri because they are never right. They always overestimate the snowfall.

What kind of shoes do chickens wear?

wingtips