From about the 3rd show with Niambi I couldn't help but think she was fitting into the catogory of a "women who loves too much" and thought that book would be very appropriate for her to read. I am pretty sure she fits into at least one of the expamples in the book.
Correct me if I'm wrong, doesn't Mr. Situation Man "Luecia sp?" have another girl friend and why did they loose the phone connection last week when she phoned him the second time?

• RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,alaholly, 03:08 PM, 05-17-06
  • RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,Ujena, 03:49 PM, 05-17-06
  • RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,beckettrep, 05:55 PM, 05-29-06
• RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,sue2, 04:03 PM, 05-17-06
  • RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,maybaybee, 04:55 PM, 05-17-06
    • RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,Juliejo, 05:32 PM, 05-17-06
      • RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,MizJazmine, 06:14 PM, 05-17-06
    • RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,MizJazmine, 06:10 PM, 05-17-06
      • RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,Ujena, 06:27 PM, 05-17-06
  • RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,petmama, 05:47 PM, 05-17-06
    • RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,Ujena, 06:29 PM, 05-17-06
      • RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,Seabisquit, 03:56 PM, 05-29-06
  • RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,beckettrep, 07:18 AM, 05-30-06
• RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,banks, 10:05 AM, 05-30-06
• RE: Niambi, a women who loves too much?,maryellennaco, 05:36 PM, 05-30-06

Niambi looks like a battered woman to me. She has been at least verbally and emotionally abused if not physically. She has such a beaten down look to her it's very sad to watch her. Why Iyanla encourages her to go back to a man who has not treated her well is beyond me. She needs to become strong on her own and then find a man who will honor and respect who she is. She could be a lovely woman if she weren't so bitter and depressed.

I see the same thing, as long as she is willing to settle for men who are not interested in honoring her and treating her in kind and special way she is always going to have that look on her face. She seems to be OK with the scraps of life when she has so much amazing potential. She is going to have to pull her boot straps up and get a clue and understand that she has to do for herself and that starts with loving Niambi first because the real deal here is, God has not forgotten her and God wants her to love herself as He loves her. <stepping off soap box now> grin

Numb-ambi is getting exactly what she deserves. She should have dumped Lucius the minute she found out he was involved with another woman. The fact that she was willing to be the 'other woman' in his life, to me, speaks volumes. She is acting like a slut because she keeps chasing after a 'taken' man. Granted, he's not married to girlfriend #1 but woman should stick together whether they know each other or not and be firm in not dating another woman's man. I have no sympathy for Numb-ambi and can't even figure out why she was in the House at all since it's very apparent she had no intention of giving this creep up.

Come on Niambi, now she says Mr. Situation is no longer seeing the other woman, but now "I just want to be friends". Give me a break!

>Come on Niambi, now she says
>Mr. Situation is no longer
>seeing the other woman, but
>now "I just want to
>be friends". Give me a
>break!

Niambi is SOoo lying to herself. She needs to just come right out and say that she's in love with this butthole and wants to be his first lady. She takes everything he says and uses it as a hope preserver. I think that if she stands tall in what she really wants this thing that calls himself a man will slink away under the rock where lower forms exist.
I remember being in bad relationships with men when I was in my early twenties. A man will tell you any damn thing and unless you are a scheming maniacal person yourself, you get caught up, never thinking someone would lie to you. As you mature you, hopefully weed through the bs and tap into whether your needs are being met or if you are just holding on to nothing.
Niambi is holding on to a lie. She needs to let it go and learn how to love herself. Iyanla should discourage her relationship with Lucious. At least Dr. Stan can be counted on to tell it like it is.

www.chocolatesleuth.com---mystery reviews

I was disturbed with Niambi today when she had her session with Dr. Stan and she lied to herself and wasnt listening to a word Dr. Stan was saying to her. He told her twice that being friends with Mr. S. and still having sex with him was exactly what she has already been doing, she is just calling it by another name. She didnt hear it.
She doesnt want to change a thing. She is happy being miserable and so dragging that styro-person around on her foot is appropriate for her. She must like her Situation man and the way he treats her because she wants to have him anyway, she can. Most of us get kicked in the teeth a time or two by a Dawg of a man and we move on but Niambi refuses to see him in any other light except the one she chooses.
It appears that it doesnt matter to her if he sees several other women and her too as long as he sees her and sleeps with her occassionally. Mr. S. has it made. He is no good but she must crave that kind of Treatment or she would get out of the situation. I also didnt' like the way she got so angry in group this morning when Christie said Niambi was going to run in the 5-K and Niambi got all huffy and said I am going to walk. Then Dr. Stan again tried to explain that Christie ment nothing by saying run and I still do not think Niambi got it. I think she has a CHIP on her shoulder and is looking for a conflict. This girl needs help in the worst way. She is pathetic. She is angry with herself and takes her anger and frustration out on eveyone else.
PEACE

I think Lucious "told" Niambi something. Of course it's a lie, but I think it's something he's said to her and she BELIEVES him. So even if Dr. Stan is talking to her, it's the "you don't know what I know" game. At least that's what I'm thinking.

Okay maybaybee I'm blaming this post on you! ...hehehe

I have to get this out of my system....

I am soooo tired of this whole thing. Everytime Lucious comes up I just go *ughhh* or *sigh*. I truly feel that Iyanla is selling Niambi down a river of lies. Lucious is not Adeyami(Iyanla's husband). This is a completely different situation. I feel it's wrong, wrong, wrong, for Iyanla to encourage or even hint that Niambi should stay in this situation. If anything I say fight and stand for her since she can't do it for herself. I can't and won't go along with this open your heart up mess...NO! Iyanla is basically telling Niambi that she has to become transparent and vulnerable to a man who really doesn't want her for anything other than sex or respect her, and that is just plain crazy making to me.

I've thought about women who are in domestic violence situations. You tell them what to do and where to go if they want to leave. You tell them what to do if they they want to stay and the best way to protect themselves. I've never heard of anyone telling the woman to open up her heart and just take the beating for the beating's sake.

To me that's what Iyanla is doing to Niambi and IMO it's just wrong. I don't care what anybody says, this is not love. It's something but it's not love. Love is not blind, it is not ignorant, and it does not diminish you. IMO it's a lie built on lies. To me Niambi is spriritually bankrupt and Iyanla knows it. So Iyanla is going to take Niambi right off into her metaphysical stuff, because Niambi doesn't have an "anchor". To me it's very egregious to say the least. People might laugh at Antonia with her St. Anthony comment, but I noticed Iyanla doesn't pull a lot of metaphysical talk with her. With Niambi, Iyanla is doing something very different and it's very subtle.

To me Niambi is going to be so hurt when she really really see's everything for what it really is including Iyanla in this specific case. I don't care...I don't care...nobody who really cares about Niambi would encourage her in the slightest to stay in this situation. It kinda all reminds me of the little story:

"Truth and Lie started out in a race. Lie ran way ahead of the Truth.
Truth ran so hard, it tore off its clothes. So when it got "there" it was
THE NAKED TRUTH".

Whew!...I feel better now....

"Truth and Lie started out in a race. Lie ran way ahead of the Truth.
Truth ran so hard, it tore off its clothes. So when it got "there" it was
THE NAKED TRUTH".

I love your quote MizJazmine and I agree with your post. I was shocked when I heard Iyanla go there with Mr. S.! I thought I had missed something, maybe it was in the return e-mail and I missed it, but I thought he had another babe that he slept with. Today Iyanla addressed her shadow (or dark side) and she now drags (large foam cut out Iyanla traced of her and Niambi cut out) that along with her and atached with all her personal thoughts about herself. This might help her but I think there is so much bitterness and confusion there that she needs much more work on her emotional and heart condition. Dragging that shaddow around and having a difficult time moving around and wanting to stay put and not move might equate to her that she isn't willing to move out and on reguarding this guy who clearly dosen't care enough about her to make her his number one!

Just because Situation Man says he no longer has that other girlfriend doesn't make it so! And, this "friends having sex" crap is for the birds. I've got news for Niambi. What was wrong in 1906 is still wrong in 2006. No matter how many people are doing it.

What was wrong in 1906 is still wrong in 2006. No matter how many people are doing it.

That was so worth repeating!

R E S P E C T yourself...

IMHO it is not so much about 'a women who loves too much' as much as it is about 'a women who runs with the wolves'. I'm just sayin'...it is the type of man Niambi chooses to hook-up with. Niambi deserves better...Niambi is better then hookin up with a LOSER, aka Mr. Lucius.

>Come on Niambi, now she says
>Mr. Situation is no longer
>seeing the other woman, but
>now "I just want to
>be friends". Give me a
>break!

Well if this is what Numb-ambi is saying she should think about her own words - considering SHE was the other woman does that mean Lucius is no longer seeing her (Numb-ambi) LOL. It seems it would be just like Numb-ambi to consider girlfriend #1 the 'other' woman. tsk tsk, shame on you Numb-ambi.

Niambi got treated horribly by making it seem as if the clinical depression was brought out at the end of the season. That needed to have been screened at the beginning of the selection process. By movinmg her out at the end of the season made it seem like her fault and not that time just ran out.

Niambi has a repetitive pattern with little or no insight. She is a lost cause for this type of show.

She'll probable remain in the same rut that she's been stuck in for a long time. Maybe she won't be with Sit.Man, but a similar situation will come along. She seems to have some type of personality disorder.

She was on a witch hunt with Christie. Niambi constantly looked for something wrong with Christie.

Which witch was worse?? Seems like old Christie had the broom out flying around Niambi,too! And Christie had all her "tools"... Heck, she'd been there a LOT longer than Niambi!