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Original Message
"kim's graduation gift"
Posted by standinmytruth on 04-25-06 at 03:10 PM
THAT'S IT????? WTF? A three night cruise for two to Baja is less than $800, if that. I can't believe how inequitable the HG gifts are.
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Messages in this discussion
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Baxtera on 04-25-06 at 03:11 PM
Hey TJ had to go with the HG who constantly beat her up. There is no equity in the gifts at all. However, that was far more than Kim earned.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by smokeysmom on 04-25-06 at 03:26 PM
I agree completely. And, I was really disgusted that she was told it was to be taken with her mother -- again cramming a relationship that is just beginning to have a chance down her throat. As I remember, they agreed to take it slow and give Kim the time / space to allow her mother access to Jax and her family -- in her own good time. If I recall correctly other HGs have gotten things like Nursing education packages, etc... It isn't the monetary thing at all, to me -- it's the strings attached -- and the nothing for her and her family. Makes "I live rent free in super expensive Miami" Lisa's furniture gift look good, "don't it"?
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by standinmytruth on 04-25-06 at 04:06 PM
Luckily, Kim doesn't need their tired gift. It just shows what jerks the producers of SO are. Cheap!
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by sweet cheeks on 04-26-06 at 05:53 PM

You know there are some people that do not need to be parents.
I would say Kim's Mom is one .
When she was on the show she seemed to be unstable to me.
I don't think I would want to go on a trip with her if she was
my Mom . And for three days ......LORD
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by crazy1 on 04-25-06 at 04:13 PM
After Rhonda announced her "gift", I was waiting for the second one...like maybe a trip for her and her husband, or a year of paid counseling for her and her husband. I was shocked that it ended at that...I mean it's wonderful that her and her mother may be on the path to a somewhat healthy relationship, but the most important ones to heal at this point in her life I would think would be with her husband and son. I just dont' get it.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by standinmytruth on 04-25-06 at 04:25 PM
lol i was waiting to. i thought, okay, the cruise is a good start...then rhonda pulled out the trying-to-look-like-an-emmy statue. maybe kim's real gift was iyanla's bizarre story suggesting now that kim's better, God may strike you down.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by ChristinaJB on 04-26-06 at 11:47 AM
LAST EDITED ON 04-26-06 AT 11:49 AM (EST)

That is EXACTLY what I was thinking - a year of counseling for her and her hubby - come on?!? A cruise with absent Mama? Ummm, I dunno.
;o(
Or HEY - what about more counseling for Kim herself? I mean, she isn't completely getting the part about everything not being about her (IE Kelly's grad speach), so why not keep the ball rolling?
I also have a feeling that the abuse she suffered also needs to be addressed more.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Cleverone on 04-25-06 at 04:27 PM

The look on Kim's face told me that she was more astounded than we were...I understand that the gift represented an opportunity for Kim and her mother to try to heal their relationship, however, I feel a gift of free counseling, for say a year, would have served her much better...this way she can heal and make "all" of her relationships better. I try not to look at the monetary end of it, but the appropriateness of the gift being something that they can really put to good use...this season has lacked that element and made the graduations seem very inequitable.

****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
****************************

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by redheaded1 on 04-25-06 at 04:32 PM
I thought going into the Starting over house was about getting help with ones issues... not the gifts!

"Life's big problems include the words indictment or inoperable, the rest is small stuff"

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by SportsNut on 04-25-06 at 04:36 PM
RedHeaded1:

Totally off-topic and mods will yell I am sure, but are you Denise or Amy from SO? I've read several of your posts and I am convinced you are a former HG...

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by redheaded1 on 04-25-06 at 08:52 PM
Sportsnut... I am sooo laughing my a** off. I can only wish I had been a houseguest of Starting over. They would have a field day with my issues! LOL

"Life's big problems include the words indictment or inoperable, the rest is small stuff"

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Lanna42 on 04-26-06 at 05:27 AM
>Sportsnut... I am sooo laughing my
>a** off. I can
>only wish I had been
>a houseguest of Starting over.
> They would have a
>field day with my issues!
> LOL


Sorry to hear your not Denise redheaded1.I've been missing her all season.Hey,You want to take a shot at being Katrina or Sinae?Look at it this way it could have been worse they could have thought you were Cassie or Kelly.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Cleverone on 04-25-06 at 04:38 PM

....As it should be Redheaded1......the best gift is the opportunity for change...and if they get nothing at all, it should be enough for a life time.

****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
****************************

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Lanna42 on 04-26-06 at 05:03 AM
>
>....As it should be Redheaded1......the best
>gift is the opportunity for
>change...and if they get nothing
>at all, it should be
>enough for a life time.

Hi Cleverone:
I admire your altruism and with the budget winding down for this season it just may come to pass.The parting gifts will be personal enlightenment,a mock pina Colada and a weekend sparring with the person who most irritates the stuffing out of you.Enjoy!I was speculating on this a while back.My prediction back then was a chaise lounge,a bag of Doritoes,a toothpick and a weekend spent trying to avoid massages by Jodi.Not far off.Maybe I'm psychic after all.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by SeasonedRefinement on 04-26-06 at 07:15 AM
Lanna42 wrote: My prediction...was a chaise lounge, a bag of Doritoes, a toothpick and a weekend spent trying to avoid massages by Jodi."

LOL! What a visual!


*******************************************

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Lanna42 on 04-26-06 at 08:51 AM
LAST EDITED ON 04-26-06 AT 08:52 AM (EST)

SR, Don't laugh it's coming shortly.I hesitated to say so.Afraid I was giving away spoiler information.Bad,bad,bad,poster.The budget has got to be dwindling.That's why the parting gifts are getting sparse.Personally,I think they should all get the same thing.A week at a Holiday Inn locked away with a SO deprogrammer."NO,you cannot BE a great day.You cannot BE a day or a week or a year or the lunar cycles or the rising sun.Those jobs are TAKEN already by the cosmos.SLAP.And stop trying to shout to the universe.The universe shouted back and says it wants you to shut the hell up!No you cannot take a bath in slime or flamenco dance.Sit back down."

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by smokeysmom on 04-26-06 at 11:18 AM
LOL Lanna42! The best laugh I've had in a long time! You should start a "SO deprogrammer" thread... NO! you cannot become an entrepreneur, model, _________ etc. YES! you can get a job,

Thanks for starting me off to a good day at, yep you guessed it -- work.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by sharnina on 04-26-06 at 01:30 PM
ALERT! ALERT! M-o-o-ooooods!!! Lanna42 posted spoiler information in the wrong forum!!!! Hurry, somebody doooo something!!! Come on, why aren't you doing something? You can't let her get away with that!!!

*sigh*

No, really, THAT was a funny post.


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Lanna42 on 04-26-06 at 02:30 PM
Hi Sharina:Unfortunetly this IS me trying to behave myself.In school I drove more than a few nuns back into secular life.As an adult,in person,I'm MUCH worse!
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Cleverone on 04-26-06 at 07:26 PM

Lanna42...you are too funny ...I hope it doesn't get that bad...but, after spending sooo much money bringing back the old HM's this season, you're probably on to something.

****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
****************************

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by sharnina on 04-25-06 at 04:41 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-25-06 AT 05:28 PM (EST)

It is and I'm sure the HG's don't have the gift on their minds while they are doing all their work. The gifts usually (and I use the term loosely) contribute to the continuation of their goals.

It's us, the viewing public, that are really interested in those gifts.

And Kim's sucked.


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by smokeysmom on 04-25-06 at 04:48 PM
I'm definitely more surprised at the odd "you and your mother" part of the gift than any monetary value. I personally wouldn't have any idea what a cruise to Catalina costs if it wasn't in this thread -- I just thought it was odd that it had strings attached. IMHO they sprung her mom on her during her stay and then sprung her again at graduation. For sure, the rewards are the process and not the gift -- but when the gift feels like another forced process or exercise -- it doesn't feel like a gift to me.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by crazy1 on 04-25-06 at 04:45 PM
To: Redhead 1~ Very true! The ladies are there for help in their life problems, but I'm sure that part of the excitement for each ladies' graduation is what the special graduation surprise will be to help them in "starting over". It kind of made me feel like $ was tight or something.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by beckettrep on 04-26-06 at 00:07 AM
>I thought going into the Starting
>over house was about getting
>help with ones issues... not
>the gifts!
>
>"Life's big problems include the words
>indictment or inoperable, the rest
>is small stuff"


You're right about the purpose of the House but the fact remains they all get graduation gifts and in fairness to all shouldn't the gifts be more or less equal in value? Kim's was certainly cheap by comparison to what most of the others received.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by MizJazmine on 04-25-06 at 04:48 PM
I agree. I know Kim likes to garden, so I could of even gone for some gardening stuff and a "family" trip that would include her husband & son as well as her mother. By making the trip a "cruise" (no way out) and only with her mother is a very cruel joke to me. Since that's what they gave Kim, I felt like they didn't even really want to give her that. Which makes me kinda wonder if they even wanted to graduate her. The whole thing's just off to me.

I just felt bad for Kim all the way around. I felt like the graduation was a sham, and so was the graduation gift. I felt that Kim deserved much better from the SO staff. I know she signed up for the show but they exploited her enough. SO they got what they wanted. The very least they could have done was give her a decent parting gift...JERKS!

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by crazy1 on 04-25-06 at 04:59 PM
MizJazmine, I'm with you on this one! The whole thing did seem "off" to me as well. Even the way Rhonda presented it was awkward...did anyone else feel that too? It seemed like she even knew that something was missing...I felt embarrased for Kim.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by DivineWine on 04-25-06 at 06:16 PM
I've noticed that too that the graduation "gifts" aren't as appropriate, or expensive as the last seasons. The trip for Kim shouldv'e been with her husband, they have a lot of catching up to do on what Kim accomplished in the House. It would stregthen their marriage, give them time to spend some alone time without Jax, & let Kim gradually go back into her "regular life". It makes no sense to me for her to go on a stressful trip with her mom, who IMO doesn't deserve to be "treated" (or rewarded) for gving up her child, then coming back years later to "listen" & nodd a lot. Just not right.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by nikkidemus on 04-25-06 at 07:05 PM
Yeah I agree. So disgusting! When Kim was showing her mom stuff out of a bag that represented her childhood that day with Dr. Stan and Kim was crying her mom barely even acknowledged it. She looked like she had a headache and just wanted her to hurry up and get it over with. Thats the day I said "thats one cold b***h". To me she is not even Kims mom, she didnt raise her and could of cared less who did. If I were Kim I would tell SO to stick it where the sun dont shine.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by MariJ on 04-25-06 at 10:29 PM
I felt sorry for Kim. Kim is the one that should be able to set the perimeter of the relationship with her mother. Why does SO decide what that relationship should be like? Cramming a trip with her mother alone for 3 days I think is (like someone else said) cruel.

I don't really feel as though Kim's mother has shown herself to be a caring mother. It seems to me that the SOH contacted Melinda and in the past that Kim is the one that contacted her. It seems to me that her mother is older now and she'd love to reap the benefits of being a mother (although, I don't think she would have been the person that initiated the relationship.) If anything, I think Kim's gift should have been with her family (husband and Jax) for a vacation and possibly counseling for her/marriage.

The fact that Kim is so forgiving of her mother, and I believe in many ways her father too, shows what a good person she is. I know that the dynamics of an abusive family is very tricky. Loyalty gets skewed (I believe for a lifetime). It's difficult to know when one is being 'dysfunctional' and when one is be 'forgiving'.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by petmama on 04-25-06 at 05:20 PM
>THAT'S IT????? WTF? A
>three night cruise for two
>to Baja is less than
>$800, if that. I
>can't believe how inequitable the
>HG gifts are.

Allison was given three times that. To pay down her debt. I wonder what she wasted it on. Before she declared bankruptcy. And, her aunt had to pay the $600 filing fee.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by petmama on 04-25-06 at 06:24 PM
>THAT'S IT????? WTF? A
>three night cruise for two
>to Baja is less than
>$800, if that. I
>can't believe how inequitable the
>HG gifts are.

And, the cruise was for Kim and MELINDA, of all people. It should've been for her and JEFF!

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Baxtera on 04-25-06 at 07:08 PM
Hey TJ had to go with the HG not with her husband.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by alaholly on 04-25-06 at 07:15 PM
Why wouldn't they give her a family trip and let Kim choose if it is the right time to invite her mother to go along. She may not be ready for that kind of extended time with her mother at all. They are forcing her to do it their way even after she leaves the house.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by flashwife on 04-25-06 at 07:49 PM
>Why wouldn't they give her a
>family trip and let Kim
>choose if it is the
>right time to invite her
>mother to go along.
>She may not be ready
>for that kind of extended
>time with her mother at
>all. They are forcing
>her to do it their
>way even after she leaves
>the house.
Yes yes yes a FAMILY trip, not with her MOM!!!!!!

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by petmama on 04-26-06 at 05:22 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-26-06 AT 05:22 PM (EST)

TJ has a great relationship with her husband. Their marriage didn't need any help. Kim's does. I think a cruise would really help it.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by eire_heart74 on 04-25-06 at 07:50 PM
The gifts are getting worse if you ask me. I used to notice in the past that they made an effort to say who the sponsor was or at least show their big fat logo on the scroll for some product placement. I think there was a comerical too touting the fact that they paid for the gift.

With the show running down the drain towards cancelation, I bet their sponsors took off.,

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Dayum Yankee on 04-25-06 at 09:22 PM
That gift that SO gave to Kim certainly did not have much thought put into it. To send her on a cruise with her mother at this point in time is not in Kim's best interest. She's been away from her husband and her son for a few months now and her relationship with her mother is in the infant stages and needs to be taken slow and nurtured. Just dumb on their parts and damn cheap too. Figures my two favorite people, TJ and Kim both got the crappiest gifts of everyone and both had to be shared with people that are totally inappropriate.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by jndinc1 on 04-25-06 at 11:30 PM
I completely agree, D. Yankee. Kim and her mom are just starting over in their relationship, and to slap them together in such close quarters for 3 days straight is idiotic. Just because she got an apology from her mom doesn't mean she is ready to go off on vacation with her like they're best friends. Kim needs time to still work through some of those feelings. BABY STEPS people!

Maybe it would have made more sense to send her with her husband so they can have some time alone to relax and reconnect. They have a lot of work to do together.

As a side note, I thought they would have flown in her mom or her son and husband for her graduation.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by BeeBe on 04-25-06 at 11:58 PM
What a cheapa** "gift," and totally insensitive. Near the last time we saw Kime and Melinda together, Kim didn't even want to sit next to her in the car. But now they're off for three fun-filled days alone together, and for what? They are total strangers, one of whom grievously wronged the other and has as much insight into the havoc she wreaked as a virus does - none.

I can understand the LCs being stupid or self-serving enough to present such a "gift" as some kind of tribute to their own brilliance in "reuniting" mother and daughter. I am sorely disappointed that Dr. Stan didn't - or couldn't - stop it, because I believe he knows better.

Here's my idea - Why not put Kim in a plastic garbage bad with Kelly for three days? It'd be a lot cheaper and just as festive!

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Twinkles on 04-26-06 at 01:33 AM
My first thought was, oh great, a cruise! A place where you can sit around and drink all day and night for fun or boredom. Great choice for two women who are both trying not to drink and have little idea how to have a relationship with each other.

I believe it was last minute gift idea because it was an instant graduation. I wish what really happened was that after Kim's last phone call to her husband that he requested his name just not be brought up on the show again so they just didn't show us anything else that had to do with him, including a gift that would include him and Jax. But that's just my little fantasy.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by sharnina on 04-26-06 at 01:38 AM
Maybe all is not lost. I just had a thought (and no, it didn't hurt)... What if they gave Kim a package for two to go on the cruise and they really have no control over who she takes on the cruise????

Or am I just ignorant of how these things work?


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by mhb0125 on 04-26-06 at 02:33 AM
I would love to be a fish swimming around that boat!!! I'm positive Kim will go back on her sobriety promise and booze it up just to put up with her mother. Bob, Bob, Bob!! Melinda's head wobbling freaked me out!!! I guess them getting drunk together will be a new and exciting way for them to bond! (That would be Kim's explanation.)
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by BHoneycutt on 04-26-06 at 03:51 AM
I actually just booked the 4 night Baja Mexico cruise for my husband and I. It was only $333 per person. That one goes from Long Beach to Catalina Island to Ensenada, Mexico then back to Long Beach. The cheaper 3 day cruise they gave Kim doesn't even go to Catalina Island. She got screwed BIG-TIME. Not only because it is only about a $500-$600 gift (maybe they have to pay for flights for both women too which would be considerably more) but the fact they are forcing her to go with her mom just STINKS! She is just now starting to heal that relationship and to be thrown on a boat for 4 days/3 nights is CRAZY! I wonder if they will at least get separate rooms?!?!
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by AndysLeftBrow on 04-26-06 at 04:35 AM
It's possible the cruise is something Kim mentioned to one of the other hg's as something she would like to do (maybe? possibly? you sure hope it was something like that?). I mean, she's a LOT happier with Melinda than a lot of the viewers are, and most of their time at the house was shared with other people. She's not even sure she's gonna stay with Jeff - so why put her on a boat with him for 3 days? With a bar. And a baby. Wheeeee! Good times...not. We never heard her say once that she particularly missed him or anything. Not that the cruse was a really spectacular gift, no matter how you slice it...

The one who got the cheapest gift was Kelly. Big Bear Lake is right up the hill from her house - so it's not like she hasn't been there before or couldn't go there and enjoy the lake any afternoon she pleased. She got a forced trip too - AND she has to take the hub and the rug rats. That gift was like a total slap in the face, any way you look at it. Sponsors or not, she must've really p'd somebody off.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by alaholly on 04-26-06 at 09:15 AM
Cheap cheap cheap. The "cruise" was probably won in a raffle and Kelly's was even worse. I can hear SO now..."Well my neighbor's cousin's friend has a cabin at Big Bear Lake, Maybe we could borrow it?"

If they are really out of money just give them a hug and wish them good luck!

"RE: kim's graduation gift could have been"
Posted by PanchoVilla on 04-26-06 at 01:16 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-26-06 AT 01:17 PM (EST)

It could be worse,
1.) Any weekend in Midland Texas to visit the Bush museum
2.) A spa weekend in Phoenix in july
3.) A week in Florida during hurrican season
4.) A snow holiday in Buffalo New York in January
5.) a 500 dollar gift certificate to the dollar store
6.) a free year of Andy Page make-overs

"RE: kim's graduation gift could have been"
Posted by watches too much on 04-26-06 at 01:34 PM
7.) Jodi's mask, still a bit damp from being in the pool.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Rubyblackjack on 04-26-06 at 12:13 PM
This is my first time posting, just HAD to respond to the BOB BOB BOB head wobbling comment regarding Melinda. I have a disease called Essential Tremor which causes my head to "BOB" and shake. Belive me it's not something I would ever ask for often feel people will look at me as some sort of "freak". There are things that happen to our bodies that are out of our control. We have a hard enough time living with this and have ways we try to conceal it. You could tell the entire time Melinda was on the show that she had some type of disorder. I felt for her and handed it to her for appearing on tv. I know I would have had a hard time. Sorry it "FREAKED" you out. I'm not excusing how she treated Kim, just had to comment. Be careful how you talk about people. We are all human and are not perfect.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 04-26-06 at 01:41 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-26-06 AT 01:41 PM (EST)

Welcome to the boards.

Anything -- as long as it's not willfully inflammatory -- that the HGs do is fair game on here. I know mhb wasn't intending a slight to you, and you're certainly allowed to commend Melinda for her courage, but the post you referenced didn't violate our guidelines.

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by GoodnightLittleBear on 04-26-06 at 11:32 AM
Glade used to be (still is?) their sponsor and the gifts were donated by them. Remember how they presented the gifts with a Glade folder? Maybe Glade has backed off on giving expensive gifts or maybe Allison and the others to graduate earlier in the season drained their bank account. Or maybe the sponsors feel that they will give quality gifts when the show can get back to giving quality to the viewers.
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by sillybear on 04-26-06 at 12:12 PM
Oh ya I would just love a trip with a person I had that many issues with.Oh ya supposed they worked them out!I think this would have been a good time with her hubbie.Not her mommy!!
"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by PanchoVilla on 04-26-06 at 01:07 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-26-06 AT 01:11 PM (EST)

Wohoo!! Party in Baja! They can both get really f&///d up and eat a lot of great mexican food.. Maybe they can get a quickie mexican divorce too!!

"RE: kim's graduation gift"
Posted by PanchoVilla on 04-26-06 at 01:09 PM
In Mexico you can get Prozac over the counter so Kim can stock up!!