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Original Message
"Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"

Posted by dnfrank on 09-03-03 at 03:07 AM
To the Producers of Boy Meets Boy and Bravo and anyone else interested:

With every show that I can think of, the participants either win something, or they simply lose. The losing never has to do with humiliation, emotional manipulation or betrayal. Somehow, Boy Meets Boy suceeded in both offering us (the viewers) a winner and rewarding the losers with betrayal and humiliation. Quite frankly, everyone lost on this show including James.

I am appalled at the flagrant abuse of the participants to satisfy the purient curiousity of the producers. What were you thinking? Obviously, you didn't think through the premise of the show very well. Obviously you weren't thinking!

How did you get James and the others to agree to such a crass premise? Or, did you tell James AFTER he agreed to the show, that there were straight men involved?

To have a show where the possibility of James picking a straight guy at the end...this is amusing? What if he HAD? Several times throughout the show, the producers obviously infuriated James and his girlfriend. Did they have a chance to back out of the show? Did they ask to? How did you manage to keep them in place when they were so obviously being manipulated by your sick premise.

Please don't write back to me and tell me how much everyone got out of the show. The good stuff didn't justify the bad stuff at all. It would have been much better for this show never to have made it on the air.

I especially feel badly for Franklin. He was trapped in the show. Did you give him the option to get out? Couldn't you have manipulated the next to the last elimination so that all 3 men were gay? (yes, you could have).

For James to accuse Franklin of "infiltrating" the group was VERY unfortunate choice of words given the FACT that James went along for the ride and the producers clearly thought this was all very entertaining. James and Franklin need to talk away from the cameras and I do hope that they do. Then James needs to call you, if he hasn't done so already, and rip the producers new assholes for indulging in such unethical garbage.

Boy Meet Boy had promise...but a terrible premise. "F"


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Messages in this discussion
"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by agjchs on 09-03-03 at 03:23 AM
>How did you get James and
>the others to agree to
>such a crass premise?
>Or, did you tell James
>AFTER he agreed to the
>show, that there were straight
>men involved?

James didn't know any straight men were involved until he had chosen the last three. He isn't too happy about it either; read the article:

http://stacks.msnbc.com/news/938179.asp?0cv=cb20


"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by TheDigable on 09-03-03 at 08:47 AM
blah blah blah...

Every reality show has some twist or manipulation. He was not born under a rock, although his emotional range resembles that of one. James is a media ho, and was treated as such. Kudos to Bravo!


"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by munson on 09-07-03 at 00:34 AM
James is a media ho, and was treated as such. Kudos to Bravo!

And a boring one at that. At what point did the producers think this guy, with no discernable personality, could carry this show?


"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by managerr on 09-03-03 at 12:10 PM
"The losing never has to do with humiliation, emotional manipulation or betrayal. "

Humiliation is the norm for any reality show? Temptation Island, Joe Millionaire, For Love or Money (I and II), Paradise Hotel all the various sleazy dating shows around...they are all sleazy and all deal with humiliating their contestants.

Bottom line, is that when you apply to a reality show, you get what you deserve. Contestant beware, so to speak.

From what I understand, this show wasn't the ratings blockbuster Bravo was hoping it would be, especially with Queer Eye being a big hit. The viewers did make thier point.


"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by sbeck on 09-04-03 at 00:34 AM
I agree: you sign up for a reality show with the expectation of humiliation. Shows like Temptation Island, which takes already faltering relationships and tries to split them up is, in my opinion, the sleaziest show, and even more unethical than Boy meets Boy.

That being said, I don't think that this was fair to James. His expectation of humiliation was the typical things you see on the Bachelor, etc., of looking like a jerk, saying stupid things, etc. But I think that Bravo got the message: I stopped watching this show, and a lot of people I know have, too. But we all tune in to Queer Eye right after it.


"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by HistoryDetective on 11-29-04 at 03:08 PM
"That being said, I don't think that this was fair to James. His expectation of humiliation was the typical things you see on the Bachelor, etc., of looking like a jerk, saying stupid things, etc."

I agree. Lots of reality contestants get what they deserve, but this was way outside the realm of what James should have expected. It just seemed so high school: let's bait the gay guy, play on his feelings, make him feel accepted, and then yank it all away by announcing "I'm really straight, but look at how I managed to manipulate you!"

Yes, lots of reality shows are degrading to people, but this seemed especially cruel, especially since its target is part of a minority that is often mocked by others.


"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by kidflash212 on 12-08-15 at 02:53 PM
I miss HD.

"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by RUTGERSpaul on 09-03-03 at 06:42 PM
I don't know if there is a common road of comparison between a show like this and a "Joe MIllionaire" type scenario. With "Joe Millionaire", we're talking about money and Fox merely exagerrated the female "instinct" towards money. With "Boy Meets Boy", it took the misleading to a different level (direction) because it now dealt with a personal issue that most likely could hurt somebody more than finding out your suitor isn't a millionaire.

Sexual orientation is a different field than monetary status. Falling in love with somebody you could never have looks like a more harsh sentance than falling in love with somebody you thought had $50 Million, and finding out he's dirt poor, you can still grow mutual feelings for each otherdespite the money, I don't feel there is enough affection two men can show each other that would make a straight man fall in love and be with a gay man.


"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by TheDigable on 09-03-03 at 07:04 PM
With
>"Boy Meets Boy", it took
>the misleading to a different
>level (direction) because it now
>dealt with a personal issue
>that most likely could hurt
>somebody more than finding out
>your suitor isn't a millionaire.

And you don't think Joe would have been the LEAST bit disappointed if he'd actually fallen for a girl...who really only liked him for his supposed money. I don't know, it would seem to be rather hurtful to me. And don't tell me it doesn't exist. I knew of more than a few chicks that were intentionally looking for a "doctor". And I'm sure it wasn't because they could get prescriptions whenever they wanted and free health care.



"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by cqvenus on 09-03-03 at 11:57 PM
the difference here is that evan KNEW that he was lying to the girls, and that there would be a possibility that some of them would only be interested in him because they thought he had money.

james didn't know some of the men were straight and trying to win a prize.

evan put himself out there and decided to take that risk. james wasn't made aware of these dangers.

when conducting psychological research, there are painstaking details that need to be addressed. some of these involve the risk to the patient. the example that comes to mind is where the participant was told to shock someone, and kept doing it, even though the person being shocked was screaming in agony. the twist is that the person being shocked wasn't being shocked at all, but was acting, just to see at what point the subject would stop the shocking. this type of test is now deemed to be completely unethical because it causes psychological trauma to the subject.

meanwhile, for a little prize money and some precious DAW time, you can sign away all your rights to having your safety looked out for. thank you reality tv. you've made prize money more important than science. how is this fair? subjects in psychological testing and even in clinical drug trials are often offered stipends for their participation. yet, they can sue if the drugs kill them. they can sue if they endure psychological trauma. i guess it's fair because that's only science, and this is very important entertainment.



"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by Trey415 on 09-03-03 at 09:01 PM
This production sucked. No argument from me. From the producers' decision to control the eliminations (why make James eliminate one over the other before he was ready?) to keeping the secret from James until the very end. But there's another problem here that no one is addressing. The producers allowed James and Audra to become WAY too serious about this. I read that the filming took eight days. Eight days. Again, I think they had every right to loose it when they were finally told the twist; infact, I'm surprised they stayed to the end. But why didn't the producers remind them throughout that this was just a game? James isn't marrying Wes. They are going on a trip. That is all. If it doesn't work out, James can call any of the other Mates and spend part of his $25,000 on any number of dates. What is lost here?

Throughout the series I felt awful for James and Audra (I wish I knew them personally; they are wonderful people) but after he took his frustrations out on Franklin, I felt much worse for Franklin.

If you want to do a game like this, let it be known up front what the game is. What fun is playing a game where you don't know the rules? Really, what were you thinking?

Oh, and did anyone miss the host in the last episode? I wonder what happened? And if anyone can tell me what else happened at the last sit down lunch where Audra lost her cool, please tell me!


"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by toddE on 09-04-03 at 11:48 AM
Hey--that's right! What did happen to the host? Anyway, I watched the show on tape and had read that James lit into Franklin, but when I watched the show, I felt that he didn't really go off on him very much at all. Poor baby my butt! And, yes, it's a reality show and let's not all get so serious. This is why I generally never watch relationship reality shows: They are fake by nature, and the participants act like they have these long-term things. Puh-leeze.



"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by motorkitty on 09-08-03 at 02:26 PM
Why don't they just do a show like the Bachelor? No twists. I think that the twists are very annoying, and they drag it out week after week until the second from the last show. I think that they should do another BMB with no straight guys. And no twists.

"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by Andrew1816 on 03-21-04 at 08:51 AM
It's because this show catered towards the typical urban, snotty gay man. This show NEVER had average gay people with everyday jobs and everyday lives. This is what I hate about these shows - now every young person coming out is going to think he needs to live up to these standards in order to be an okay gay guy - no way! F**k all these guys on this show who turn their noses up at guys who don't look 21 or who don't have a masters' degree and make 100k a year. It never ceases to amaze me that gay men, who only make up about 2-3% of the populaton, are even pickier with each other than straight people are, and straight people make up 97% more of the population!
I watched this show once, but I knew exactly where it was going when they brought out the first guy. I had it figured out immediately - he was young, successful, well-dressed and a snob. As far as humiliation goes, these guys signed up for this and knew what they were getting themselves into. You should see how these guys act towards other gay people. Maybe a little humiliation will bring them back down to earth.

"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by bLkGrL323 on 09-20-04 at 11:14 PM
UMM... IS THIS SHOW A/B LIKE GAY GUYS... AND LIKE QUEER EYE MEETS PLAYIN IT STRAIGHT

"RE: Boy Meets Boy...An Unethical Production"
Posted by Agman2 on 12-11-15 at 03:37 PM
umm, why are you you like writing in all caps? You should have watched the show to find out.