Where does he shop??

~ Tiger Woods

Now thaaat's what I call golf equipment...

~ Natalie Gulbis

Oh for crying out loud. One stupid leg more and we wouldn't have been eliminated? Geez.

Hey Luke, you could have U-Turned Mel and Mike or Mark and Michael and then *I* would have been the one prancing around in my underwear. That would have been a lot nicer, wouldn't it? But nooooooo, you had to U-Turn *us*.

And don't go telling me that it would have been Amanda running. You know it would have been me.

It would've been better seeing you than seeing Mike or Mark in his underwear, that's for sure!

I wouldn't know... I finished so far ahead of everyone else, woo hoo! So I didn't get to see how anyone else looked in their skivvies.

ST. LUCIA, BABY!

Sorry, Kris, hope you know it wasn't personal, I was just trying to keep Cara and Jaime in the game since they're the only other people in the game who can finger-spell and I need to be able to communicate with other people on the Race!

This game is all about MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I can U-Turn as I please! And how dare Victor/Tammy not cooperate with meeee?

Of course you would've been the one running. I brought you along on this race to do all the hard tasks, after all.

LAST EDITED ON 03-23-09 AT 11:45 AM (EST)

I would have paid me some good money to see you, Mr. Cherry Pie, in your undies you cutey!!! Ooops...I mean, er, yes, you would look quite respectable!!

*Race duds by Agman*

Woohoo. I ran or did she run in the skivvies. I can't remeber if its me or her who does the roadblocks..

Phil your golf equipment was hot.

It was you, Cara.

I can tell all of you - I would have looked fantastic in my undies! I'm in great shape for 'almost 50'.

But lying here by the pool is certainly warmer than streaking in Siberia.

LAST EDITED ON 03-17-09 AT 01:53 PM (EST)

Welcome to Novosibirrrrrsk! We decided to brrrrring back an old roadblock from ssssseason 1 and changed it a bit, ::blows on hands:: from when contestants stripped down in sub zero temperatures but we decided to make it longer. ::shivers:: And whose idea was it to do this again, for me to shshshsh...show off how the contestants is doing it. It's cold out here.

::whistling catcall from off screen::

Ok, that's it. I'm done with cold Siberia. We are going to make one of the shortest legs ever. Just 3 clues. Roadblock instructions, One to get them to the roadblock, and one to send them to their detour. And let's throw a stick shift car in there somewhere, just to really mess with them.

::checks golf equipment to make sure it's ok::

Margie/Luke: ::signs:: You're Team Number 1! And you both get to go to St. Lucia. And Luke, your deafness became an advantage. You're the only one who didn't hear all the catcalls and bewildered noises as contestants did the roadblock. You just had people looking at you funny, but I'm sure you're already used to that.

Tammy/Victor: Here's the letter from the FCC about the asian comments about driving. Please sign here, here and here to absolve the show of any liability. What? We're the ones that aired it? Well, we only did it because you said it and it would be a disservice not to air something we can't get away with saying ourselves.

Cara/Jaime: (I love my job.) You let a harvard lawyer out run you? You're a cheerleader. Surely you could have worked up a good sweat by chasing her down. This is a race, you know.

Mel/Mike: Awfully happy about those brides weren't you Mel? So you need a little russian in your life. Have a vodka.

::Mark and Michael walks in::
::Wave to Mark and Michael::
::See them wander around stupidly, not seeing me wave::
::Taps foot::

Ah, here they come...

Mark/Michael: Hope you brought some booster seats. We have more fun vehicles that sit low in your future. The snowplow and the little car was just the start. That is, if you can find the clues. Now remember where the start mat is for tomorrow.

Lakisha/Jennifer: (Yeah, I love my job.) So, I hear you don't normally were underwear. So each time you came to the mat and we hugged, you were never wearing underwear any of those times. I'm not sure how I feel about that, you naughty girls.

Christie/Jodi: Ah, back in last place where you belong. That's much better. And you're the only racers who didn't get the memos on stick shifts and you race around in a thong. (Did I mention that I love my job.) Well, we haven't had enough fun at your expense just yet, so we're gonna keep you around another leg! Try not to get spit on by the camels.

Thanks to Agman for the sig!

I learned something new on the race today! I can say anything I want as long as I have a smile on my face! It worked really well on the Russian cab driver. Hey, I could try it on um....*big smile* Hey Victor! I'm not mad at you. I understand you're a back stabbing cheater. Your a lawyer, for Pete's sake! Here, let me hug you as if all is forgiven!*still grinning*. Okay, now let's try Cara....*big smile* Go, Cara! Good job Cara you lazy, walkin', no good @#$%@! *still grinning* Oh, now let's try Luke! This has to work on him! *big smile* Thank you so much for helping us! We just love you guys! We can out run your mother so of course we will work with you, and that no help from boys rule? You don't count.

Oh, and for all those naysayers that thought I was throwing a bit of tissy fit with the Russian snowplow workers...well, I was! They should learn English. Everyone should learn English. Shoot, if they were doing a Russian Amazing Race and they came to America, I would learn Russian to help them! Yes, I would. I know I would. After all, this is Jaime's world and I know Jaime's world.

I'm a good reader. I'm a good driver. With no help from boys.