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"Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by samboohoo on 02-24-09 at 07:38 PM
LAST EDITED ON 02-25-09 AT 05:55 PM (EST)

Welcome my friends to Episode 2
Written today by your buddy, Boo.
Number 1 was by Dweeze,
Who made us laugh with ease.
And I hope I'll make you chuckle too.

I thought I would try something new today and summarize the entire episode by way of limerick. However, my current surroundings are not providing the right atmosphere for doing so. People are blowing into my office by the minute. Papers are swirling around my desk. If given enough time, I might be able to complete such a task, but there's just no telling what's going to happen with my schedule today. So you have two choices. You can either stop reading now and wait for my situation to change, or you can choose to continue reading below. It shouldn't take you longer than 10 minutes (especially since there are no commercials.) Unless you're name is Linda, and you start your reading from the right instead of the left.

Previously on The Amazing Race, the racers were in awe of Luke’s use of The Force. and celebrated the first deaf contestant competing in and winning a leg of The Amazing Race. So impressed, Mel decided to test his own lightsaber and pulled a groin. Interestingly enough, this is something 95% of American men do everyday, Mel just happens to be the first know man to suffer lasting effects from it.

Will Mel’s injury cause the team to overcompensate in their decision making? Will Amanda finally speak and make us wish she hadn’t? Will the “Hicks from the Sticks” continue to play mentally smarter as opposed to physically harder?

Leg 2 begins in Switzerland at 2:56 a.m. with Margie and Luke informing us that we're headed to Munich, Germany to the village of Ruhpolding. Luke would like to continue at the hurry-up speed which secured the win on Leg 1, but Margie continues to lead the team.

As the teams leave the pit stop and head to the airport, they use their cab drivers' phones to call ahead for flight times and ticket reservations - all of the teams except Margie & Luke (who have decided that this is a good time for us to get to know them a little better) and Mark & Michael (who use the cab ride to relax after making up half a minute by sprinting from the starting mat to the cab).

There are two somewhat immediate flight choices: Swiss Air, departing at 7:10 a.m. and arriving at 8:30 a.m. and Lufthansa, departing at 8:45 a.m. (There is no indication that I can remember given about when this second plane will land. But I suspect the fact that it is leaving 15 minutes after the first flight lands could signal that anyone on it has probably made a bad decision.) Margie and Luke, the first to leave the Pit Stop secure the last available tickets on Swiss Air. Mark’s and Michael’s net gain of 30 seconds has turned into a net loss of at least 95 minutes. And Christie & Jodi have discovered there is no automatic guarantee they will make any flight.

The teams arrive in Munich and begin driving to the village of Ruhpolding where the Road Block awaits.

Amanda reads the clue and declares that they must drive to the village where Rupert is holding the music of Germany. Kris tells her to just sit back and continue looking pretty.

Road Block: Fly Like An Eagle

A Road Block is a task that only one team member may perform. In this particular Road Block, the teams have traveled by cable car 6000 feet to the top of a very high mountain. You probably realized it was high when I told you it was 6000 feet. Did you also realize that the name of the Road Block and the fact that it is a Road Block meant that one person from each team is probably going to take part in a “challenging” way of getting back down the mountain? Because I know of at least two contestants who didn’t. *coughcoughMelLindacoughcough*

The contestants are informed that they must choose an instructor and then tandem paraglide with that instructor down to the bottom of the mountain. The other teammate will travel back down by way of cable car. Once they are both reunited at the bottom of the mountain, they will receive their next clue.

There is a catch to this task. If, for some reason, there are unsafe wind conditions, the person performing the task will either have to wait for the winds to subside or he/she must make his/her way down on foot, about an hour's hike. Unless you are Linda, for which an hour is not nearly enough time.

Tammy & Victor are the first to arrive but are delayed by unsafe winds. The other teams start to arrive, except for Kisha and Jen (who are taking the scenic route through town) and Mel & Mike and Christi and Jodi (who were on the second plane).

The teams are standing around trying to determine what to do. Tammy, who has been waiting 26 years to be the one in the family to make a decision, quickly opts for the hike down the mountain. As the other teams wait, Mel’s pulled groin begins to have the same effect of a pulled finger and, as the winds continue to swirl, the other teams start to trek down the mountain, despite Mel’s protests. Even Linda, who realizes that she cannot use her butt this time. Mel has no such choice and, as the last three teams arrive and also opt for the hike, Mel realizes his only option is God.

Mel: “I can't pray for divine intervention - God has enough to do.”

A quick check of God's schedule shows that there is no Big Brother this February, so perhaps maybe the time is ripe for a miracle. The heavens part, the skies clear, and just like that the winds stop, sending Mel on a fantasy ride across fairyland. In what could only be called a miracle, God has intervened in a reality show to help a gay man. Okay, some might call it a miracle, others might call it something else entirely.

Tammy arrives first, followed by Margie, Kris, Victoria, Mel (who left the top of the mountain last), Mark, Cara, Jen, and Christie. Meanwhile, Linda makes a mistake on the course and winds up in parking lot - several miles away. Some poor local took pity on her and drove her back to the cable car area, where she finished the hike down the hill. I'm not sure if, until last night, David even knew she got lost.

The next clue instructs the teams to go to Schonau Am Konigee.

Amanda: “Drive yourselves to Chanel Number 5.”

Detour: Balancing Dolly or Austrian Folly

In this Detour, the teams must choose between

Balancing Dolly: Teams must navigate Segways along a two-mile course, not hard for teams who can maintain their balance.

Or

Austrian Folly: Teams must launch pies at a target until they discover a pie with cherry filling. Again, the task does not seem hard until the teams discover that the target is their partner's face.

Upon completing the Detour, teams are instructed to "hoof" it (travel by foot) to the Holzsager to get a piece of wood. Their wood would then be stamped with the location of the Pit Stop.

Tammy & Victor choose the pies and find the cherry within five pies.

Amanda: “Bouncing Dolly or Australian Folly. I’m so excited because this is the first task "I’ve gotten to done (sic).” She and Kris choose the pies and find the cherry filling within five pies.

Mel & Mike (now in third place) choose the segways.

Luke & Margie arrive, and Luke wants to do the segway challenge because, just like with the winds, there is no telling how long it could take to find the right pie. But Margie insists they do the pies. As Luke predicted, it takes a while. Luke is not happy and secretly begins to explore his dark thoughts.

Brad & Victoria choose pies and finish within about five pies.

Kisha and Jen take the scenic route again.

Jaime & Cara choose the segways. Did you really think they would intentionally mess up their hair?

Kisha and Jen show up and choose the segway.

Mel & Mike choose the segways.

Christie & Jodi choose to bake and then throw their pies. They then literally look for a piece of wood. Perhaps the “hoof it” language in the clue misled them, as they ended up near the stables and in the stables. They then choose to hoof it along the segway route until a local finally directs them to the Holzsager.

Steve rewards Linda’s hard trek by allowing her to relax and look pretty in the back seat while he drives. He informs us that Linda has had a hard life (which we all figured out as soon as we saw that she was married to him). He is so proud of her and reminds her that as long as Christie and Jodi are still in the race, it’s anyone’s game. They show up and choose pies.

Mel & Mike can't believe God would intervene a second time. Amanda is excited at the thought of meeting Tommy Hilfiger.

The teams arrive at the Holzsager, where mechanical Tyrolean woodcutters, cut a wooden disc that is then stamped with instructions to drive to “Salzburg and find the Pit Stop at Schloss Hellbrunn.

Amanda: Yum. Salisbury Steak and Slaw made with Hellman’s.

The teams arrive at the Pit Stop in the following order:

#1 Tammy & Victor: They each win hybrid go-carts.

#2 Mel & Mike, who takes a variety of measures to open the gate. All of which cause Phil’s eyebrow to get an early jump on the route to the next Pit Stop.

#3 Kris & Amanda

# Margie & Luke

#5 Brad & Victoria

#6 Jamie & Cara, who arrive 14 hours after the leg began.

#7 Kasha & Jen, despite their best efforts to find another scenic route.

#8 Mark & Michael

#9 Christie & Jodi, who learned how to read clues from Season 13’s Christy & Kelly.

#10 Steve & Linda, who may very well have switched roles in their relationship, as it’s Steve crying like a baby and Linda who provides the comfort.


*smooches Agman*


Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by Max Headroom on 02-25-09 at 08:17 AM
Nice summary, Boo. But couldn't you have been kinder to your home-state contestants?


I are am the beautifulest prettiest person woman hear.

"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by samboohoo on 02-25-09 at 08:38 AM
LAST EDITED ON 02-25-09 AT 08:39 AM (EST)

I actually struggled with them. I realize she put herself out there, but a lot of what she said and did made me want to cry instead of laugh.

LOL at that siggie. The first episode when Conner saw them he said, "Oooh, I'm rooting for them, they are the beautifulest people." By Sunday, he had moved on to Jamie and Cara.


"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by byoffer on 02-25-09 at 09:45 AM
No data on exactly how many pies Luke & Margie threw at each other? If the others were about 5, then they seemed to be around 30. Maybe more.

Nice summary.

What is the "something else entirely" link supposed to be to?

"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by samboohoo on 02-25-09 at 10:17 AM
Is the link not working for you?

"It's The End of the World As We Know It" by REM.

*smooches Agman*


"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by Breezy on 02-25-09 at 11:58 AM
Yay Boo!


Brokenhearted in green and gold.

"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by Belle Book on 02-25-09 at 04:55 PM
Great job, Samboohoo!

At least I didn't learn how to read clues from Christy & Kelly or give Phil's eyebrow an early jump on the way to the next Pit Stop!


"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by Scuba Steve on 02-25-09 at 04:59 PM
Good summary Boo, but why do you keep referring to Mark & Michael as Mel & Mike?


"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by Seana on 02-25-09 at 07:15 PM
Well done, boohoo! Excellent snark.


Sig by agman

"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by ARnutz on 02-26-09 at 07:36 AM
Great job, Boo!

...but the math teacher in me has to point out:
Swiss Air, departing at 7:10 a.m. and arriving at 8:30 a.m. and Lufthansa, departing at 8:45 a.m. (... the fact that it is leaving 15 minutes after the first flight ...)

Um... 8:45 am is not 15 minutes after 7:10 am.

***

*snort* at these bits:
~A quick check of God's schedule shows that there is no Big Brother this February

Thank COD!

~Jaime & Cara choose the segways. Did you really think they would intentionally mess up their hair?

HA!

~Steve rewards Linda’s hard trek by allowing her to relax and look pretty in the back seat while he drives.

Pretty is synonymous with Linda. Yup.

"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by samboohoo on 02-26-09 at 10:43 AM
LAST EDITED ON 02-26-09 AT 10:43 AM (EST)

I think it says after the first flight lands, doesn't it?

Oh, and thanks!

*smooches Agman*


"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by ARnutz on 02-27-09 at 07:05 AM
Doh, sorry.

That's what happens when I get hung up on a numerical detail. I miss some words. *embarrassed*

...and you're welcome ^_^

"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by Puffy on 02-26-09 at 11:43 AM
Funny! Like watching the show all over again, but even better. One of the many parts I liked was God's intervention with Mel and Mike and no Big Brother this February.




Compliments of the Agmeister

"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by kingfish on 02-26-09 at 03:47 PM
LAST EDITED ON 02-26-09 AT 03:49 PM (EST)

Need a limerick?

I work in an office that’s like straight from Hell,
And thought I’d try to pen a Limerick, Oh well,
My boss would annoy me,
But he does think he employed me,
So I shot him and wrote these lines of the tale.

(And took off for Vail? Well, that's as good as a ten minute limerick gets.)

Maybe one more...

I had a TAR deadline I wanted to make,
The time specter loomed, my knees they did quake,
It was just for a summary,
And I was not in a nunnery,
So I decided to see if it I could fake.

Very nice, Boo, and entertaining. You do this well. I could feel the icing going right up my nose. I did think that that was a terrific waste of pastry.

"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by CTgirl on 02-27-09 at 00:29 AM
Great summary Boo!

I loved this line, "In what could only be called a miracle, God has intervened in a reality show to help a gay man," and the "Luke, I am your mother" bits.


Top of the mornin' by O'Agman

"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by suzzee on 03-01-09 at 03:31 PM
*note to self: put down lunch, do not drink while reading one of Boo's summaries.

After cleaning off the keyboard & monitor I'll continue.

very funny stuff Boo, love reading them

I enjoyed reading while listening to the Star Wars theme in the background. I think you've got a great idea for setting the tone of summaries.

Yup, wait until Darth Margie catches her little padawan trying to get in some light saber practice with Jamie & Cara. I wonder if they will blur her hands while she's swearing???

One question: Is the eyebrow raise the kiss of death? The first week Linda & Steve got one, now Mike and Mark get one for not being able to figure out the gate door.

Reason why my keyboard & monitor have bits of cabbage roll casserole on them:

1So impressed, Mel decided to test his own lightsaber and pulled a groin. Interestingly enough, this is something 95% of American men do everyday, Mel just happens to be the first know man to suffer lasting effects from it.

Still snickering about this one


Suzzopolis by Tribe

"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by mtopaz on 03-02-09 at 12:09 PM
Great summary! Amanda: Yum. Salisbury Steak and Slaw made with Hellman’s. LOL!


Designed by Agman, siggy maker to the gemstones

"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by dajaki on 03-02-09 at 11:10 PM
I love all your little picks at people, particularly:

Unless you are Linda, for which an hour is not nearly enough time.

Mel decided to test his own lightsaber and pulled a groin.

Mark’s and Michael’s net gain of 30 seconds has turned into a net loss of at least 95 minutes.

Christie & Jodi choose to bake and then throw their pies.

"RE: Official RTVW TAR Summary - Season 14, Episode 2: Carry Me Back to Ol' Virginny"
Posted by strid333 on 03-07-09 at 12:11 PM
That was a good summary!


Three is the perfect number.