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Original Message
"Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by Seana on 03-25-07 at 10:53 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-25-07 AT 10:56 PM (EST)

*looks at rungu*
*gives it the Philbrow™*

We're at the Old Fort in Tanzania!

Oh, my poor ears. That just can't be Charla and Mirna again.

But it is.

*fake smile*
*earplugs*

Charla and Mirna! You're team number one! You both win catamarans! *crickets* They're boats...cool tilting ones with these slings that you get in and oh ew! Someone get a bucket for Monsieur Charla. I'm forced to admit that you were smart to take the flight to Johannesburg. And, of course, very lucky to find a friend there to help you. *looks suspiciously at Romber's Intern*

Oswald and Danny, you're team number 2! See, you could have hugged me this time and I wouldn't have minded. I just didn't want to get my shirt dirty before. You know I only have so many shirts that compliment my oobies as nicely as that one I was wearing at the last Pit Stop.

Uchenna and Joyce, you're here. Now go away. *Jeopardy Theme* OK! C'mon back. You're the third team to arrive. This was a special Uchenna-themed leg. Hope you enjoyed it. I think the Beauty Queens understood your history lesson like Mirna understood the Cha Chas' hooker joke.

Dustin and Kandice, fourth team to check in. I'm afraid that "Too Hot to Handle" kicked your butts. Again. Will you please work on this? Given the choice, I'd much prefer to have the two of you jumping down excitedly on the Mat because you came in first.

Eric and Danielle, not your best leg, but I'm sure you'll do better. I'm especially looking forward to the part where Danielle doesn't just let Eric take over. That *is* what you said, isn't it? Don't look to Eric for confirmation. Knucklehead.

Joe and Bill, you certainly breezed through the Detour and mostly kept your cool. You're still in it. For now.

Teri and Ian, you're the last team to arrive. Sorry, guys. You're out. I had to wake up early for this, too. AND! It wasn't just a few minutes before you arrived, either. I had to go to makeup and get my eyebrows waxed and stuff. I'm sorry. You haven't had any sleep or anything in days, have you? Well, there will be plenty of time to rest in Sequesterville. It's a good thing you waited all night at the ticket counter in Mozambique, innit?


Administrative Notes:

Please keep the game in the game thread.

New posters are welcome! All the Racers are taken. Anyone may post as a sound person or cameraman or taxi driver. Or hey, be creative! Post as one of the poor beleaguered airline employees or a Masai warrior. Jump on in and play with us!

You know, I had a Barbie catamaran when I was a kid.

Edit for speeling

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by vince3 on 03-25-07 at 11:46 PM
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Behold the power of bribery!

It was supposed to be only cloudy that day, but when Bruck figured out that Schmirna would be over a day ahead over every one, he called me, named his price, and one sea storm later, Schmirna was delayed to the 'morn. It's too bad that Cha Cha Cha stopped to shop for some fruits and veggies or else they'd be team number one. They'd appreciate the catamarans better....


"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by Estee on 03-26-07 at 12:58 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-26-07 AT 12:59 PM (EST)

I think you own Bruck his money back. You promised a storm and you delivered some clouds. And a half-day delay, but you could have at least made an effort to create that, don't you think? What was the payoff, anyway? Two used clue envelopes and Camera Guy's autograph?

'Catamaran'... is that some offshoot breed of the ragdoll?

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-26-07 at 06:17 PM
Really, what DID you think a catamaran was?


Have you never been to the Inner Harbor?

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by Max Headroom on 03-26-07 at 06:56 AM
Come on Phil, what's up with our lack of camera time this episode? Do you REALLY think America wants to watch endless shots of scraggly old folks like the Guidos and Mrs. Botox? Have a chat with Bertram and get it fixed, or Dustin and I will stop giving you hugs at the mat!


Too hot to handle? THEM??

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by jbug on 03-26-07 at 09:01 AM
Keep it up sweetie. You'll be joining us in Sequesterville soon enough AND it won't be that long till you need a little botox yourself to fix those lines that big fakey smile is making.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by zipperhead on 03-26-07 at 10:43 AM
The cameremen were way more interested in my boobage this episode, since the four two of you have been so flat this time.



"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by Estee on 03-26-07 at 12:56 PM
Just don't wear the low-scoop blouse or I'll have to chase Eric down to get you back. I'm not sure he knows what Danielle looks like from the neck up, and we all know he gets confused really easily. If he sees blond hair and exposed cleavage, then he's with his partner. No other identification required.

Which kind of explains why the BQs are so covered up this time around. Winding up with Eric isn't a chance anyone's willing to take.



"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by ARnutz on 03-26-07 at 07:10 AM
Was I even in this episode? Oh, yeah. That's right. I was on that dhow thingy, with those blondes, while my hubby gave them an African history lesson. Isn't he great?

What happened girls? We beat you to the mat even with that penalty! That schlepping stuff must've been really hard, huh?

Did you guys see that old footage of my head being shaved? Why did they have to show that? Thankfully, it's growing back now!



"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by Max Headroom on 03-26-07 at 12:12 PM
Yeah, that shlepping was tough, and slow, but Dustin and I needed the workout to keep our figures intact. It's working, isn't it??

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by cahaya on 03-27-07 at 03:00 PM
Oh, yeah, I just had to give those blondes a little history lesson in reverse. Do you think we could use them for yardwork and housework?

Oh, and maybe as an "escort" once in a while?

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by beau_30 on 03-26-07 at 08:28 AM
Look at thoose oobies. did you see that oobie shot of Mirnas. Why. I think they wanted to show whos got bigger oobies. What was that oobies.
Danielle don't worry about it we will catch the next plane. And then another plane were only 3 and half days behind you tasmanian devil you.

Oh did you see her oobies going up and down. My My I like her oobies.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by pinksparkleguitar on 03-26-07 at 09:49 PM
You rang?


"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by CwazyWabbit on 03-27-07 at 04:07 PM
Okay...I'm making some impaw'ent decisions here about you and your love for my oobies. I know they are beautiful and spunky and full of life, but I am too, so I ask...no DEMAND...that you pay a little more attention to me....Eric, are you listening to me?...Put your hands in your pocket..um, on second thought...put your hands behind your back and look at me... in the eyes! No, Eric, my eyes are UP here...
Dang, I give up. Just remind me again of the million reasons I shouldn't just quit this race right now...
*mumbling and bouncing away*
And he cawls me the knucklehead.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by sporkman on 03-26-07 at 08:46 AM
What? I didn't do anything wrong. Besides, in my Television Production 101 class we were discussing trends in television and Little People are a really big trend in Television right now. Go watch Viva La Bam and Little People Big World. These are both popular shows featuring Little People.
That gives me an idea, maybe we need a roadblock that launches Charla from a catapult or off a skateboard ramp. So, if I did help Charla and Mirna, I was only trying to keep Amazing Race trendy.

Besides, Tim Gunn, or was it Santino, helped the Cha-Cha's at the beginning of the stage. Why isn't anyone complaining about that? Why didn't Tim (or Santino) get any camera time?

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by Cyndimaus on 03-26-07 at 11:48 AM
It's good to share, so I don't mind that you helped them out. Just that much longer that they aren't here with us. Just don't help them out so much that they win.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by sporkman on 03-26-07 at 12:04 PM
I thought you and Rob had your own private Sequesterville.


"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by Cyndimaus on 03-27-07 at 10:36 AM
That's what we thought too. Imagine our surprise when we show up and everyone else is there. Now Rob just gets to throw the everyone into the pool.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by jbug on 03-26-07 at 09:10 AM
Phil, I can't believe you Philim'd us! And after I went and bought this cute little hat and everything. I was hoping it would take the notice away from Ian's stupid hat (that the gnome apparently found and returned to him).
Oh well,
Ian LOVES me and we have a wonderful famnily to return to AFTER of course enjoying a few weeks in beautiful Sequesterville.
Too bad we'll have to put up with Romber, Kentucky and the Festers there. Maybe we can hang with JVito & Jill; they seemed nice.
I have a new bikini to wear around the pool. Just wait till you guys see me in that! (did I mention that Ian LOVES me?)


"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-26-07 at 06:23 PM
I have a new bikini to wear around the pool. Just wait till you guys see me in that!

Made by whom, Weyerhaeuser?


"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by buckeyegirl on 03-28-07 at 07:29 PM
Teri, hon, I'm so sorry that I made you sleep at the airport. (cough, cough)twice I don't know why we weren't first in line. Sleeping there seemed like such a good idea at the time...but we do have a wonderful family and you are the love of my life!! And you let me wear that stupid hat for a second season...

Hoorah sequesterville, ready or not the Big Khauna is coming!
"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by sporkman on 03-26-07 at 09:41 AM
Oh no, not again!! It's like Deja Vu all over again! We're falling behind Joe! All the teams will be done with the race before we even get to Alaska! We just need to get on this flight! Why won't you let us on the plane? I just want to go to Alaska! We need to get on the flight to Alaska! Alaska!! Alaska!! ALASKA!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-26-07 at 05:11 PM
Bill! Bill! Wake up, Bill! We're not even in Johannesburg anymore. (Are we?)

I just love how you threw that Rungu in slow motion! It was better than that "1984" Mac commercial. You need to upload your throw to YouTube.

Too bad it wasn't Eric and Danielle we beat to the mat, eh?


Tribe strikes again!
You've been warned, so don't complain.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by sporkman on 03-27-07 at 09:13 AM
Oh Joe, hold me! I was having that awful dream again. We were in the Amazing Race and we were 24 hours behind the other teams. Then there was this computer geek with an unhealthy obsession with spoon/fork hybid utensils, and he was going on this website where people pretend to be the Amazing Racers, and he was posting as ME! He was making fun of us and how we eliminated 24 hours behind the winner on Season 1 and how we are going to finish more then 24 hours behind the pack again when we are Philiminated! It was horrible!

Tell me it was only a dream. Right Joe? There's no way we could fall that far behind in TAR-Stars, not when they have bunching points at every road block and detour.


"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-28-07 at 08:57 PM
There, there, Bill. Just click your feet together three times and repeat to yourself, "Hours of Operation . . . Hours of Operation . . ."


Or, in lieu of that, "Bolo and Lori's Train."

"Weather report."
Posted by Estee on 03-26-07 at 12:52 PM
Partly cloudy with a chance of dhow delays.

Yeah. Right.

We got a lead! We found the flight that got in first! We had hours and hours on the other teams -- oh, look. White fluffy things in the sky. All boats must stop moving until the white metal things in the sky start to land. Happens all the time around here. Not deliberate at all. And that wasn't me being seasick on the boat, that was me causing sixteen-hour traffic delays for the fish. Same principle.

(While I'm at it: thanks to both Danny & Oswald for the nausea assist. Much appreciated. And sorry about the whole 'Mirna doesn't get it' thing. I'll explain it to her five months after the race, which was how long it took the last time before her ears turned back on. Also, thanks for the Stop N' Shop.)

Hey, cuz -- we won a cat each! I'll take a calico. What does Phil mean, twelve and a half feet long? Wow. That's some tail.

And what's the fastest way into an impregnable fort? Don't ask any of us. I'm still trying to figure out the fastest way to sneak behind the ticket counter and print out our own boarding passes.

I don't know about this group prayer thing. Linda keeps yelling in my other ear.

"RE: Weather report."
Posted by emydi on 03-26-07 at 02:41 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-26-07 AT 02:41 PM (EST)

next week...if you only had a heart...and your cousin if she only had a brain....


and if you both only had the nerve to speak English without a weird A$$ accent to "foreigners"

"Thanks Phil"
Posted by foonermints on 03-26-07 at 07:24 PM
Quick thinking when those nassty trolls showed up in first place to switch to the "b" prize:
Twelve feet long and made completely of fiberglass. A Tyrannosaurus Rex Diplodocus would make more appropriate "Garden Art" (especially for the FRONT yard) for these two, but "Catamaran" sounds much better on TV. Since Mirna is reminding me more and more of Tonya Harding, maybe she could just use a set of combination hubcap/shurikens.


I'll never tell where the real catamaran is.

"RE: Thanks Phil"
Posted by zipperhead on 03-27-07 at 09:24 AM
Quick thinking when those nassty trolls showed up in first place to switch to the "b" prize....

I knew it! First with the completely bogus "storm warning" and then the suck-ass prize. Where's my trip to Aruba, dammit?



Oh well, at least I got to show off my cheerleader moves to Phil. I know he wants me.

"RE: Thanks Phil"
Posted by Seana on 03-27-07 at 05:09 PM


*retch*

"RE: Be the All-sTAR, 11.6"
Posted by Molaholic on 03-26-07 at 08:11 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-26-07 AT 08:15 PM (EST)

Well, looks like we've got a real race going now! How about that sudden storm popping up? Not to mention the wonderful airline schedules!

Charla & Mirna You're team number one, again. Just incredible. You got lucky with the flight, found a cuddly friend to help you and ... well, even helped to feed the little fishies on the way to Zanzibar! Oh, and this is what you won:
so Mirna will have lots more opportunities to be Neptune's Little Helper!

Oswald and Danny Another leg well done, boys. Too bad that fruit craving was so strong. It could have been you out on the cat...

Uchenna and Joyce Wow. Whodathunk you could have made history sound so interesting. Hope you enjoyed the view during your 30-minute 'rest', too.

Dustin and Kandice I miss the bouncing.

Eric and Danielle Yep, the bad news is that you got booted from the plane. That's what you get for trying to cut the line. Remember, the line is the line and the line is king. You don't cut the line.

*** dinner break ***

*** off to sleep ***

*** early morning wake-up ***

*** down the coffee and croissant ***

bleary-eyed Joe and Bill Uhh.. I guess.. uhh ... (yawn) you guys made it ... zzzzz .... in time to ... uhh ... stay in the race.

Teri and Ian you're out, I'm going back to bed.

*** Hey Bert -- you planning to pay out a little Over Time here? ***


Andy, you still owe me 14 minutes -