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Thread Number: 1475
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Original Message
"Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Seana on 03-05-07 at 00:52 AM
Welcome to Playa Petrohué! This was a fun leg to watch. Who knew so many people were fishophobic? And nearly all of you got lost on the way to the Detour!

Rob and Amber, you're team #1! Again. Calm down, Amber Yes, it is very exciting, I'm sure. I don't know why you each need a home gym, but here you go. Did CBS buy you a house big enough to put those in?

Uchenna and Joyce, you're second. This is your highest finish yet! You'd think that the only winning team on All-Stars would be a bit more competitive...

Eric and Danielle: I think Eric was a bit embarrassed at the Roadblock. Of course, he was also a bit embarrassing.

Dustin and Kandice: You're Team #4. Twice! Did you like how I didn't even tell you which clue you missed? That's my pokerface. I don't give anything away.

Oswald and Danny: Oswald, are you going to nag Danny about the cardio in every single leg?

Teri and Ian: I could mock you for allying with the Beauty Queens - who, despite bragging in their season about their superior map-reading skills, got horribly lost this leg - but I'm just so impressed that Teri would say that getting tossed out of the raft was "exciting". Good job.

Joe and Bill: Hi. I think you guys were in the final three in your season. Did we not have clues back then? I'm sure we did. It's a good idea to read the clues. They're there for a reason. Now you had to say that Charla and Mirna were a "godsend". Yack.

Charla and Mirna: You guys are like sandpaper. Is there anyone you aren't going to tick off by the end of the next leg? 'Cause you haven't placed higher than 8th yet, so I'm thinking that might be the end of you.

David and Mary, you're the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to tell you you've been eliminated from the Race. It's a big surprise that you lasted as long as you did without the Chos *cut to shot of Chos*. Good luck on whatever talk show invites you.


Administrative Notes:

Please keep the game in the game thread.

New posters are welcome! All the Racers are taken. Anyone may post as a sound person or cameraman or taxi driver. Or hey, be creative! Post as Charla and Mirna's bewildered local or one of the flounder. Jump on in and play with us!

bystander has PMed me to say that he may not be able to complete his duties as Dustin. If you would like to be Dustin, please respond to this thread. First come, first served.

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by ARnutz on 03-05-07 at 07:59 AM
Wheeee!!! Look at us! We came in second this time! The game is on! Rob better watch out! We're right on his heels. My hubby rocked that roadblock at the fishery! Just another example of why we won last time. We'll be winning again, ok? You may as well just write the check to us now so we can get some more in vitro, Phil.

Another thing... Rob? Can you stop calling my husband Ooooochenna, please? It's Uuuuchenna. You pronounce it like "you", not "oooh". Thanks.

Was that Charla's boyfriend I saw at the Pit Stop, Phil? That's not right for her to have guests during the race.



"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by cahaya on 03-05-07 at 01:26 PM
Yeah!! Here we come, Robbie.

You just do all the talkin', babe!

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by BriarRosie on 03-05-07 at 08:51 AM
LAST EDITED ON 03-05-07 AT 08:52 AM (EST)

"Who are you and why are you putting your boobs on me???"

-- the fish in Danielle's tank

"Beauty Queens, over here. Psst. Over here. Yoo hoo!
I guess they're never gonna get a clue."

-- the La Maquina clue box

(I seem to be taking on the objects. And in this case,
an animal. It's kinda fun.)

Lori

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Max Headroom on 03-05-07 at 09:14 AM
Don't get me started. It was a momentary lapse, and look how much time we made up, even with having to go back for the clue!


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by BriarRosie on 03-05-07 at 01:14 PM
"Meh. You were lucky that the Guidos didn't have a clue, either."

-- the La Maquina clue box

Lori

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by CwazyWabbit on 03-05-07 at 07:00 PM
Hey, I'm just a woman in a man's world doing a man's job. I had to do something with my *ahem* womanly assets. 'Sides, I thought everyone wanted to touch my boobies. Why else would God man create them?


They are very buoyant, indeed. Just ask the rafting dudes.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by sporkman on 03-05-07 at 09:17 AM
Dave and Mary,
See there are a few things you can learn from us gays. When a team follows you to a clue and then tries to pass you, jump out of the car and stand in the middle of the road. Block their car so that they can't pas you. Ofcourse, if Mirna had tried that stunt after the detour, well lets just say Team Kentucky would still be in the race.

Joe, my sweet fish whisperer, CBS just sent us a huge bill, did you try to charge fertility treatments on our TAR credit card?



"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by jbug on 03-05-07 at 09:56 AM
Bill, were you wearing eye liner when we started this leg? I could swear it looked like liner on both the upper and lower lids. Come on, confess!


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-05-07 at 04:10 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-05-07 AT 06:39 PM (EST)

Great move blocking Eric and Danielle, sweetie. The Crafty Guidos are BACK! And I AM the Fish Whisperer!

You need to do something to look less psycho. Ehhh, on second thought, no you don't.

Did you ever imagine we'd have to be grateful for the Schmirnas? And they didn't want us to "screw with them"? Bwahahahahahaha! Let's just chalk it up to our guile, ok?

And remind me to stop for some Petrohue. Is that anything like Chardonnay?

ETA: You sure that bill wasn't for Uchenna and Joyce?


And remember: Rob is not Jesus!

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by sporkman on 03-06-07 at 08:26 AM
I thought you liked the psycho look?

We've got the other teams right where we want them. While they worry about Jesus and AmberRob and Amber at the front of the race, we'll be sneaking our way to victory from the back of the pack!



"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Sahara on 03-05-07 at 06:32 PM
Awww, Bill, Ah wish ya would've told us that earlier. Thin maybe we all wouldn't have bin last. But it's nice of you ho-mo-sex-u-als to try to give Dave 'n me tips.



"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Max Headroom on 03-05-07 at 09:18 AM
Did you see me haul those fish while all the other girls got jittery and squeamish? Mark my words, the game is ON now. If D and I could just remember how to read a map, we'd be unbeatable.


"Fish, fish, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you ..."
(Wait a minute, something's not right here.)

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by bystander on 03-05-07 at 11:01 AM
LAST EDITED ON 03-05-07 AT 11:02 AM (EST)

Oh Kandi, you're too funny. We know how to read. Plus, we're too beautiful to be philiminated yet. Did you see how Phil stopped the space-time continuum so we can go back and get that clue that we missed. Yeah, he realized we were clueless and let us have a second chance. What a guy.

Phil...come over here and let me give you a hug!

Oh and Myrna?....don't look now but you've got some mangey looking little mutt following you around.....You should really keep THAT on a leash before it bites someone.


So...there really wasn't a detour this time?

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Estee on 03-05-07 at 11:14 AM
Can do!

*puts leash around Kandice's neck*

Now stop yapping.


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by azkate on 03-05-07 at 11:59 AM
Ayudeme!!! Ayudeme!!!

Por favor senorita?

I am not a car seat.

Por favor get off my lap por favor?

The kidnapped taxi driver

another tribe work of art


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by emydi on 03-05-07 at 12:27 PM
Are you up for a poker game, Charla, or are you too tired cause you got some last nite?



I'm surprised Danny/Oswald were the only ones that said it...everyone thought it...

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Estee on 03-05-07 at 12:54 PM
I'm married. And if I felt like cheating? He's too short for me.


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Max Headroom on 03-05-07 at 12:41 PM
Do you need a stepstool? Better get two, we beauty queens are always tall.

Bring it on, shorty!


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by jbug on 03-05-07 at 09:54 AM
We left in 7th place but came in this leg in 6th. OK, do we have enough legs left to win this if we move up ONE each time?

That Mirna tried to get right in my face. I gues I told her NOT to talk to MY PERSON when he was helping me! Ian handled it so well; he'a just a champ you know.

Fish! Stinky fish!! I gotta say I did GOOD. Those things were slippery as all get out. Did the RBlock say we had to move all 80 fish in order to read the clue? Joe/Bill, did you have fish still covering part of your clue? I thought I saw some still in there. What's up with that? Did you get them all or not?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! That was fun!
Did you see me kerplunk right outta that raft? And the best part was that Ian's stupid ole hat went overboard too! Floated away and away and away down the river. Now that gnome had better NOT find it and return it! If he does,there's something else will be floating down the river! It really was fun and I handled it like a pro.

Ian honey, where are you?

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by dragonflies on 03-05-07 at 10:05 AM
pant, pant, pant, huff, huff, huff. Gotta do more cardio. I know this now.

You think I can do more cardio during my manicure?


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by beau_30 on 03-05-07 at 10:18 AM
"USE YOUR BOOBS! USE YOUR BOOBS! DAMN'T DANIELLE USE YOUR BOOBS"

What good are they if you can't use them? Geesh. I know if Jeremy was with me he would have used his Boobs.

I guess I should of done this one. I think we have the roadblocks switched.

Didn't you see the beauty queens using their boobs? Crap even Mirna was screaming but using her boobs as well. Even Terri did as well.

You should pay attention. I bet Phil would of used his boobs as well. His Man Boobs, Look David and Uchenna used man boobs.

Wow I must really like boobs. Does Danny and Bill ahve man boobs or women boobs.

How many times did I say boobs in this post.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by dabo on 03-05-07 at 10:28 AM
Way to come up wth a rack strategy.


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by LibraRising on 03-05-07 at 11:28 AM
Hey, Robbie. Caught a glimpse of you with your shirt off last night. Good thing you got me on your side now, because you're looking a little flabby!

Signed,

Your new home gym

(PS -- I'll be happy to take over as Dustin if the need is still there. )

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Seana on 03-05-07 at 11:46 AM
LAST EDITED ON 03-05-07 AT 11:51 AM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 03-05-07 AT 11:47 AM (EST)

ETS: Hang on a minute.

Edit again to say: Hmmm...Dustin has posted in this thread. Perhaps I dreamed the whole thing...

"Take Me Libra!"
Posted by bystander on 03-05-07 at 12:14 PM
Take me now!

I know you'll give me the attention I deserve as a former Miss New York...um...or California....oh whatever...I'm beautiful and THAT's all that matters.

"RE: Take Me Libra!"
Posted by Max Headroom on 03-05-07 at 12:45 PM
I'm Miss New York and you used to be Miss California before you got married. Way to perpetuate that "airhead beauty queen" stereotype.


Sheesh.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by buckeyegirl on 03-05-07 at 11:48 AM
Schmirna, don't mess with Terri again...we all know I'm not afraid to call security on you...

Beauty Queens, I can't believe that you actually followed us around, how desperate are you?


Hoorah for Terri! You were awesome on the white water rafting. Only my wife would think it's fun to fall out of the raft.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Max Headroom on 03-05-07 at 12:38 PM
Didn't you start the leg by following us around? No matter, we're both still in the race and those idiotic Kentuckians are gone. Hooray!


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by jbug on 03-05-07 at 02:41 PM
Ian, my hero!
And I know you were soooooooo proud of me when I got right back in that raft! Too bad you lost your ugly hat in the river!


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-05-07 at 04:16 PM
So Teri, what do you think of Ian's sudden interest in Dustin and Kandice?


And why was he paraphrasing "I Know An Old Lady"?

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by jbug on 03-06-07 at 08:48 AM
Nothing 'sudden' about it! He drooled all over the TV all during season 10. When we found we'd all be on the race together, I resigned myself to putting up with it.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by buckeyegirl on 03-09-07 at 07:27 PM
Hey, now my sudden interest in them is purely strategic..really, it is. Teri, HooRah! I was so proud of you for enjoying that fall into the river.


I know an old lady? I have no idea what you're talking about...

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by warp_core breach on 03-05-07 at 02:04 PM
Ah, umm, s'cuse me, Mury, but ah think that thur sahgn back thur said were we's supposes ta go... (*gets thwacked in the back of the head by Mary*) Yesire deer, ah'll keep on drivin'...

*****************************

Gawd, ah hates feesh and wahta. Scareda both of 'em. But we wents white wahta raftin'. We dunn it all - nuff ta last a lifetime.


Too bad Mury didn fall in... Ah think we should go on Dr. Pheels show next.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Sahara on 03-05-07 at 06:42 PM
Awww, mah Dave wuz so good with them thar fish, even if he wuz skeered to death of 'em. I wuz so proud.

Thet thar white water rafting was skeery, too...Ah just ain't a threels and cheels kind o' lady (thet's why Ah murried mah Davey Boy).


Ah want to get on Rachel Ray an' show her how to cook up some of thet there possum stew.



"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by sporkman on 03-05-07 at 02:05 PM
Hola Senor y Senorita Rrrrrombaaah. Welcome to St. Pedro de Atacamba. You would like to know if we have internet here? In this little backwater village? What are you, LOCO? Look around you. We have the church and farms. That is it! You think we have the internet here? You are a funny guy! We have no internet here.

Got YOU!!! Jajajaja!!! Of course the pre-production crew setup an internet hub here just for you. Come, follow me.


Oh Mr Keoghan, <WINK> I think I forgot to paint the entire clue in one of the fish tanks. <WINK>


Our plan to get rid of the Guidos would have worked too if it wasn't for those meddling Shmirnas and thier pet.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Cyndimaus on 03-05-07 at 02:17 PM
I am SOOOOO excited to win a home gym. I've been practicing making my eyes open really, really wide for the pitstop mat. Is it working?

Did I freak about the fish? No, I did not. Thank you very much.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Molaholic on 03-05-07 at 08:52 PM
***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Native Greeter unavailable for this episode
***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Thanks to a stoopid, ancient, piece-o-carp VCR & tape , and attending the LA Avengers Arena Football game, I missed Sunday's ep (patiently waiting summary).


I will be making a Tivo purchase soon.


Andy, you still owe me 14 minutes -

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-05-07 at 09:25 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-05-07 AT 09:26 PM (EST)

Oh, I'm sure Charla will fill you in. *points upthread*

ETA photo:


Charla and the Greeter, sitting in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-g! First comes infidelity, then comes divorce, then comes a reality show about the baby carriage!

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Estee on 03-06-07 at 09:29 AM
We always wondered who wrote the Tree Mail poems. Now we know.



Finish reading your clue yet?

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-06-07 at 10:34 AM
Oh, piffle. We'd have gotten to Alaska Petrohue just fine without you, tyvm.


(See? We get Racers to help us when they don't even want to!)

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by zipperhead on 03-06-07 at 09:44 AM
There is so much complaining about me going on in these Forums. It is very amusing. People say I whine, but there are people here who cry much more. So I stick up for myself - what is wrong with that?

I think we saw big-boobed girl complaing much more than I and no one said a thing about that. You are all just so, so jealous of me because I look gorgeous in my bathing suit.

Rob and Amber? We have had enough and we are going to take you down next time.

Kentucky people? Good-bye, adios and good riddance.

Guidos? Do not screw me.

Teri and Ian? I will speak to whoever I want whenever I want. I have a small person with me and she requires special accomodations. She must be able to fit in the overhead bin or we cannot fly on that aeroplano. Thank goodness Drew is no longer in the Race because he threatened to throw her out of the compartment into the aisle of the plane.

Beauty Queens? So stupid. We will be the last blondes Racing. Mark my words.


I hate you all.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by sporkman on 03-06-07 at 10:51 AM
LAST EDITED ON 03-06-07 AT 03:47 PM (EST)

Have you released poor Jorge yet or are you waiting for his family to delieve the twenty-five dollar ransom?

I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for them to pay it. You obviously kidnapped the village idiot. He somehow managed to direct you to take him to the local police, and even they didn't care that you were taking him.

Oh poor, poor Jorge. Joe, don't you think we could have taken a minute to rescue him after the rafting trip. He would have made a good playmate for Guido. He was kind of cute in a terrified lost puppy kind of way.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-06-07 at 09:52 PM
Thailand, Bill. Thai. Land.


He forgets so quickly.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by Estee on 03-07-07 at 08:31 AM
Oh, you complained. Believe me, we all heard you complain. Parts of Peru were turning around and saying 'Wait, what was that?' But you did stop pretty quickly, and you got the job done. Good call, cuz: careful division of Roadblocks is one of the most crucial things that can keep us in this race. That and having a really weak team behind us that's always a threat to come in last.

Oh. Oops.

The incident with Teri & Ian -- you've got to let me play the stealth card more often. I was almost behind the counter and I could have punched up our tickets from there! I know you were just trying to create a distraction, but... *sigh* Well, we didn't come in last. And the alternate plan of having you pretend to be Bill & Joe's dog and ride in the baggage area with the rest of the yappers needs a few more legs before we can make it work.

Besides, the counter encounter was a natural mistake. You're an estate lawyer. You're used to handling the assets of the recently deceased. How can anyone look at Teri and not believe she passed away on the flight over? She's already got the funeral mask!

I didn't see you using your hair to pin down those fish.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.3"
Posted by jbug on 03-07-07 at 04:51 PM
>Besides, the counter encounter was a natural mistake. You're an estate lawyer. You're used to handling the assets of the recently deceased. How can anyone look at Teri and not believe she passed away on the flight over? She's already got the funeral mask!
>
>

I didn't understand who or what you were talking to or about on most of your tirade but I DID understand this one!
You little **#)+&@#**#@@*!
You just wait till I get you out of camera range! The time will come! I was hoping to get you near me in the river rafting - you'd have been floating belly up (or down) in that fluffy little suit of yours if I had caught you there!
You won't always be able to hide behind something a little bigger than you. I'll get you yet, 'my little pretty'!

Ian! Are you gonna let this little twerp get away with this?? You've been telling me I look GOOD!


"Teri in five years."
Posted by Estee on 03-07-07 at 07:12 PM

You have been warned.



It's a lot worse from my angle.

"RE: Teri in five years."
Posted by jbug on 03-08-07 at 09:13 AM
Now that was just wrong!
I can always get more plastic surgery - but will a stretching rack ever do you any good?

"RE: Teri in five years."
Posted by indy42 on 03-09-07 at 10:05 PM
Hey David and Mary, welcome to Squesterville.
"Danielle"
Posted by beau_30 on 03-08-07 at 11:00 AM
Danielle get you and your boobs over here now and stop fooling around with Phil and the BQs there not your type. For some Snooky Snook, the horn dog in me needs to get out. I wish Jeremy was here, I would already be over him.