I thought his vocals were pretty weak tonight. He can do the deep voice, but better not venture out.

Faith Hill--Wild One

Did she shellac some gardenias to wear as earrings as a craft project?

What is that odd half hearted kick during the chorus?

J. Our little baby, attack it like that. Have three great singers gotta create a moment and attack it like that.

R. Love seeing you having fun, Fearlessness is what you gotta have had a connection with it. When you let go is when you are at your best.

S. Having fun now. I love the way you were singing, like you owned the song. Shined on a part that wasn't even the chorus.

I think little Stevie made an "inappropriate" remark right there.

Ok, so I wasn't imagining that when I posted. You posted this roughly around the same time I posted comment 42.

What did he say?

I'm not watching yet, just here for the snarking.

He painted an image of America wanting to be on top of Lauren.

That wasn't bad on Lauren's part. But I still feel a bit dirty after hearing Steven's comments to Lauren. He is slightly creepy.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with slightly creepy as long as you're old enough to enjoy it

LAST EDITED ON 05-18-11 AT 08:48 PM (EST)

Makes mental note to have "Ask Maroonclown to write my epitaph" added to my living will.

Hell, I'm 41 and STILL NOT OLD ENOUGH to enjoy the "Dirty Old Man" vibe I'm getting off of Steven!

Ewww, ewww, ewww, ewww, BLEUUUUURRRRGH!

Girl, just let it go.

I took some deep, cleansing breaths after that minor freak out. Thanks.

Y'do know about this little adoption ploy, right? Wonder if that made it into the autobiography.

Well, now we really know Beyonce can act. Most people couldn't get that praise out with a straight face if you gave them a hundred takes.

Tonight's wardrobe choice: Niecy Mash Jr. It doesn't seem to be working out.

Oh, so she wants to be wild. While staying in a state of grace. Capturing ye olde country contradiction in a single song. What an interesting pick. The pandering is under way and we have a semi-Jesus. Lauren's ahead!

Singing... about as strong as she gets, which still isn't very. Still one of the few times where it looked like she might have been having fun with it, but she was still overpimped for the results.

Well, Lauren makes it known that she's not the Wild One with this performance. A few half-hearted moves didn't add anything to what was otherwise an OK vocal performance. Reminds me of a set I'd expect to see at some rural county fair concert, as just but a local sweetheart favorite. I'll give her a pass, although expecting we're going to see and hear more of the same.

meh.

Hey y'all, little late

What kept you?

Oh, wait. Dumb question.

What is and What should never be by Led Zeppelin

Hoping Dad can play it with her?

Starts on the balcony, comes down the stairs. Looks like from the point, Dad gets to be there with her!!!

Fell going up the stairs from the judges table and missed a few words, or it looked like that.

R. Yo, this is what it is all about. I love the fact that when you need to be great this girl is slaying it. This is crazy vocals Dad on stage, best performances ever. In it to win it.

S. Did you fall for me. It is how many times you get back up. That was superb. Randy thought the fall was planned.

J. Everyone falls on stage. You gotta keep going, sign of a professional. Tough song and sang it great. Good round for you.

Loved the performance. From both Haley AND her Dad!!

LAST EDITED ON 05-18-11 AT 08:42 PM (EST)

Yikes! Takes a tumble after dancing around the judges table on the way up the stairs! Toss those high heels, quick!

Starts off pretty well, makes it all the way down the flashing stairs, and goes into a sultry stanza before kicking it off with dance and a bit of shouting. Recovers well enough from the fall to finish the song strong. Not my fav kind of song, but compared to the first two lukewarm performances, I'll give Haley Round 1.

That's dad on stage with her playing the electric with the Marshall amps behind him, as much if not more fun to watch.

Yep, Daddy got to play on National TV with his girl.

Yeah, I answered my own question after a quick vid check.

That's pretty cool he's on stage with her, actually.

Her dad rocked a little bluesy solo. It was awesome.

As a blues fan and guitarist, I actually liked that part the best!

Dad's kinda hot!

LAST EDITED ON 05-19-11 AT 09:03 AM (EST)

'Screw this. If I'm going out, I'm going out with my father on stage, singing a song I love no matter what the heartland thinks of it, rocking all the way out the door.'

And in the face of that, the judges were momentarily helpless.

Did she nail it? No. She doesn't have the raw power she needs to tackle Zeppelin: while she arguably came as close as she could given her voice, that still meant missing the target. But she didn't screw up the lyrics, she honored her father and, as with Lauren before her, she actually had fun with this one.

That divide in the country vote may not be wide enough to squeeze through, but she still has two chances to go Jericho on it. The power required still isn't guaranteed -- but she's got the right tactic.

Good assessment, you put it better than I did.

And it's good to know that she can take a fall and get right back up, too. After all, that's what she's been doing week after week anyway.

I stopped watching a few weeks ago and just tuned in to catch this performance. While technically the song is too much for her she gets mad props for attempting, for even knowing it and for asking her dad to play with her.

Extra special props for saying she was going to wear shoes with flags on them! *snork* My girl knows what she is up against.

I actually will vote online tonight to help her out as she has passed my rule...DON"T BE BORING!!!

That was great. Sure she fell (I thought she would have fallen coming down the long stairs at the beginning!) but that didn't matter. Great vocals, and great father/daughter moment.

Way to go Haley!

Playing his audition babylockthemdoors, and Steven's Bleepage, on the coke stools.

Are you going to kiss me or not by Thompson Square

Playing acoustic guitar.

Are those my only two choices?

S. Never heard you deliver a chorus like that. Sang it really good too.

J. So many moments in there, grabbed the guitar tighter, after the spoken line when you laughed, feel so comfortable in your skin. Will You Shave your Head like you had in the audition for the finale.

R. I think J. was saying she would kiss you. Jimmy picked a good song for you. Right in your range. I felt like Garth, approaching Garth level. Like at your concert, in it to win it.

I kept waiting him for to fall backwards and be crushed under the unbearable weight of the guitar. His posture suggested that he could barely hold it up. Some of his expressions confirmed internal bleeding. This is the first time I've really seen what the Worsters call McCreepy come out: there was a facial connection with the lyrics.

Am I going to kiss him on this one? Not. TMOD picked, as expected -- well, not a Wrong Song, but something at the far end of the country curve where a Scotty dare not go without getting his feet bitten off. Or his spine crushed under a six-string. Play up to his teenage fans, sure... but this wasn't the tune for it.

And they're missing so many Jesus opportunities, it's making the baby cry.

Much better than his first song in a number of ways, even if it was Iovine's choice than his own. Playing with an acoustic (capo in F) with a electric guitar and (again) a lap slide on stage, this song fit together as a whole. He looked like he was enjoying himself more as he was in a fine vocal groove. He needs to handle that guitar a little better, though, so that he doesn't look quite so awkward with it standing up (probably better to sit the way he performs). Thumbs up.

yup. right in Scotty's wheel-house.

I am so scared to take that boy, what with child laws and whatnot, to the Shoppe. But lawdy lawd, he's some kinda hot. YUMMY.

Again, my posting timing is off.

I guess Scotty passed the MC Swoon Factor.

I'm waiting to hear the MC Swoon Factor.

So, how much did you want to ask if he's legal yet, MC?

Waitin' 'till October. There must be a song written that has those lyrics.

The FOX programming schedule: brought to you by the fine people at Customer Service Phone Line Holds.

I thought it was two hours....

My TV listings have it as ninety minutes, but that's coming from the same people who brought yesterday's 100% chance of rain.

LAST EDITED ON 05-18-11 AT 09:03 PM (EST)

We're an hour in and still the fifth song to go.

(eta) And TV Guide has it going until 10:00.

Take a shot!

Mine's grape juice.

Mine's 38 caliber.

I'm torn between the two!

Her pantyhose ripped so they show them putting makeup on her legs during her audition footage.

If I Die Young by Perry

WWJD?

With a song title like this?

The historical answer is 'exactly that'.

He must have taken Jimmy's advice. ;)

J. You have the most beautiful tone. Magical thing you possesses. Honest moment and got caught up in yourself, you are 16 years old. Beautiful thing honesty of the moment.

R. You realized when you didn't hit the modulation at the right point. You got such a beautiful tone, good song choice by Jimmy. Couple of stumbles, stay in it.

S. Got caught up in the moment, nailed it again.

New byline: Hotel maid makes AI top three! Sheesh, horrid outfit. Other than that... Borin' Lauren, same 'ol, same ol. Again, vocally OK and but lacks stage presence with the final sit down move almost falling flat. I'd rather die old.

Oh dear gawds.

...no, don't sit down on the stage in that skirt! Don't sit down, don't -- she sat down. Optimistically. While her hopes of making the F2 died young. Iovine is getting stupider by the pick.

So is anyone going to give her a Wrong Song critique? Wrong Approach? How about Don't Be Afraid To Cry -- Wrong!

And the judges are -- wrong. Oh so very wrong. The kind of wrong you have to pay for. Put them on the air and listen to them declare indie punk as socialist.

*sigh*

And there's Lauren's mom again. She will kill us if we send her baby home. She learned how at Cheerleader Mother Camp.

*takes another shot*

*bang*

>Oh dear gawds.
>
>...no, don't sit down on the
>stage in that skirt!
>Don't sit down, don't --
>she sat down. Optimistically.
> >And there's Lauren's mom again.
>She will kill us if
>we send her baby home.
> She learned how at
>Cheerleader Mother Camp.
>
>*takes another shot*

My sentiments exactly!! Notice how the cameras moved to another shot while she mooned the entire front row??? Oh holy heck!!

I used to be a commentator. Now I'm just a horndog. What the hell happened?

No pause o' men? (That's a play on a single word.)

no comment ;P amd shame on you.

Hey, you ain' got no shame to gimme.

Jason Castro happened.

At this time, I'd like to nominate "Sing optimistically about dying young" as the worst Idol advice ever.

He drinks from Steven's Coke cup.

More Audition footage.

Abstract song hopes she remembers the words.

Rhiannon by Stevie Nicks.

Gets the Wind Machine.

R. Dude listen man. Why were you looking up like thank God I got through that. Did a good job with that. Pitch was perfect, more of a somber moment. You are in the zone. Don't guys need wind machines.

S. You sang that reminded me why I fell in love with Stevie Nicks. Did play it like we knew you would.

J. Beautiful moment. Looked good on camera. Thought you would take it a little further at the end but a nice contrast to the other song.

It's windy outside!

There's only one Stevie Nicks. Haley is not she. Again, she tried. She did the best she could with it within her range, she had fun with it, and even Randy's noticed that Haley is firmly entrenched in I Don't Care mode, which actually makes her dangerous. Expert rendition? No. Passable? Sure. Still chipping away at the divide? Note by note.

I have lost respect for my Stevie. He shall be beaten tonight. For good or for bad.

Haley could have done so much more with S Nicks

In more ways than one, a very breezy song. Even the guitar slide notes went right along with Haley's sliding between the registers mid-syllable. Interesting to watch and listen to. Sure, it wasn't a wowzer, but still something a little different than the generic family-sized box of corn flakes the other gal is serving us. While I wasn't blown away by the notes in the wind, I'll give her a thumbs up here.

At least she isn't boring me like Lauren.

That wasn't great. Started not good enough, but got better. There was a background vocal that was very distracting. Certainly ended well, and still way better than Lauren IMO.

Nice horse.

*ignore*

I've seen better music videos featuring animated ponies.

The video scared me a little bit. And then I thought the song had the same lyricist who wrote Jennifer Hudson's "Where You At?" song.

Home visit footage.

She Believe In Me Kenny Rogers.

Oh ##### me *thud*

I was inspired to launch my Zippo lighter app.

Now how is the poor kid supposed to work with the *thud* position?

Instructions on page 97 of the manual by the door of Ye Olde Shoppe under "in case of emergency".

So you're saying I shouldn't have switched that for a plumbing supply catalog.

Plumbing Supply catalogue, Shoppe instruction manual. . . I am not sensing a difference.

In retrospect, I probably should have chosen a catalog where page 97 didn't have the snakes.

Sitting on stool by the piano.
String Section.

S. I do believe that is the first big chorus you sang in a big way, put it over the top.

J. That is one reason we wanted that song for you, I guess you showed us.

R. It is about you stretching yourself. We know what you can do in your comfort song. This is so sweet and tender.

Hi everyone! I've been reading your posts the entire season, but I haven't ever made a response! I'm sorry, if there is a Scotty/Lauren finale, I won't be watching! It'd be such a bore!

Well, hello, first-poster!

Yeah, there's a few of us who'd like to see borin' Lauren out this week. Regardless of the outcome, and having watched this since the first auditions, I'll be watching next week.

But think of the Jesus-Off!

Hey firster! Or should we say jayjay. Welcome to the playground. A Scotty/Lauren finale would be a bore but the guest talent they always have every year is a total scream.

Just a small word of warning, you may experience a moment in the sandbox about your screen name. Just trying to be a good friend.

Next week, reportedly Tyler is going to play with James singing (Tyler tried to rope in the whole Aerosmith band, but that didn't happen). Next week's definite do-not-miss moment for me!

LIBERAL!

(had to be done)

This song choice pushes Scotty a little. It's not quite in his vocal range and it looks like he's not comfortable heading out towards to the middle registers, but he was actually game for the attempt on this performance. It's Kenny and he was going to get through the song or die. (Several people died on that last money shot. And not in a good way.) He had some vocal fails here and there as he tried to get out of the bass notes, but it was overall his best rendition of the night.

Which really means Scotty had a bad night. But it's not as if his fanbase will notice.

I think that was Lowe's Foods

I was wondering how a Whole Foods could exist there without being burned to the ground.

They exist here in NC in the bigger cities, like Raleigh, or enclaves like Chapel Hill.

Scotty (the bag boy): In the plastic bags... or paper sacks, ma'am?

MC: In my sack, boy.

Arguably his best performance of the night. Starts off slow with the piano accompaniment, then lifts up as the violins kick in and soars nicely through the chorus and the rest of the song, coming down gently as a feather at the end. Superb vocals, fine arrangement and timing. Thumbs up and a fairly sure bet to sing next week.

Can we vote for him? That was cute.

LAST EDITED ON 05-18-11 AT 09:51 PM (EST)

I'm diggin' the dads tonight.

Let's look at the history of crossover - brought to you by DH - he's a rocker, listens to Q107 and loves the country ballads.

At the AT&T store.

I hope you Dance, Lee Ann Womack.

What up with the sea foam bridesmaid dress? Are we thinking burial at sea? Honestly?

I think it is a Grand Ole Oprey dress

who dresses this girl! poor Lauren

Exactly. In her second song that white skirt made her backside stick out so far it looked like it was the back half of a horse costume.

As much as I dislike Lauren personally, I won't deny that Wardrobe's been abusing her all season. They actually got it right with last week's results show suit -- but it was the only time.

I suspect she picks her own earrings.

More strings.

Can we put some sleeves on that girl.

J. That does not lie, you cannot buy those, only come out when someone makes them come out. Goosebumps. You won that round for me already.

R. One of my favorite songs. You slayed it. Great lyric for a great singer. Sang it great in it to win it.

S. You walked in like you owned the Grand Ol Opry. Sang that song so perfectly. Everybody is happy.

Really? Because I hope you leave. You screamed 'opens', 'faith' is not supposed to be held like that, and if you think people aren't replaying your slip down the stairs right now, think again. Better yet, try thinking once. First time for everything!

Tonight, Lauren's performances have been brought to you by Songquil: the whining, crying, grating, note-losing, go-to-sleep-and-she'll-be-gone-tomorrow medicine.

One can only hope.

Looks like a bridesmaid singing at her best friend's wedding reception, hoping she can get the wallflowers to dance. Sounds like it, too. Ok, ok, vocally she's fine, and this time around she looked comfortable on stage, but I feel like heard the same three songs, over and over, from her tonight. So, she gets a pass, but passes don't win hands.

In the limoo.
You Outta Know by Alanis Morrisette.

LAST EDITED ON 05-18-11 AT 09:55 PM (EST)

I just knew she'd have to sing the alternate "clean" lyrics!

Not that happy about the song the way she started singing it, but she got the screams down pat. Nailed the choruses.

On the lower couple of steps of the stairs of doom as they thrust out.

But they change the "Go Down On You" lyric. Bare stage just her.

No fall running back up to the stage from the judges table this time.

OK on the chorus, but not good on the verses.

R. Listen, America has their work cut out for them. Amazing choruses, love you rocking out. In it to win it.

S. Amazing so perfect, so nailed the choruses.

J. Really good job, no one can match you on the chorus. Heard the same thing in the middle parts, the stronger parts were the choruses.

Rip me apart on this one and the next thing you'll feel will be my nails going down your back, and into your spine, and out through your gut.

Nothing but love,
Haley.

Well, they found a song where the growling nearly fit.

She's tempting fate with those high heels! But she's not tempting fate with the high notes, the way she hits them. Came out a little slow to begin with, but liked that fast song riff in the chorus that not many singers can do. She didn't really need to pander to the judges and might have been better advised to play up to the cameras for the real votes (if they exist, noting some conspiracy theories). Thumbs up. She probably did just enough different tonight to earn her way into next week's sing-off against Scotty, with borin' Lauren watching.

Not enough Jesus. Sure, it may seem like a good idea to save him for the finale, but first you have to get there...

Well, we'll see if we're saved by tomorrow night, although that's three days early.

Setting Scotty aside, lying on the bed, in a fugue, etc etc. ahem.

Lauren - did not impress with anything she sang - I thought with "I Hope You Dance" she would do something - I love that song but it was a snooze fest

Haley - was given God's gift of Stevie Nicks and she took it and threw it in the cupboard on a warm summer's day and let it rot. She was so ripe for grabbing Nicks and juicing her and serving a glass of her own, but she got nuthin' but pulp. *my resume to be judge next year*

Scotty - If I said the word "moist" would that make me naughty?

Are you following it with "von Lipwig"?

I keep getting 'all circuits are busy' messages on Haley's line. Tomorrow's total is going to be a multi-cast pileup.

I haven't voted all year but I'm throwing votes Haley's way. I've been getting through with no probs on the 09 number

Which is the one I've been using. I'm having more luck now, but I was getting fifty percent blocks for the first few minutes.

So I tuned in tonight because Nolay was on a conference call in the living room, so I was sequestered to the bedroom. It's the first Idol show I've watched this season.

Really, these were the best Idol had to offer? At least Haley (sp?) wasn't a snoozefest like the other two.

-A Tribetastic Creation

Really, these were the best Idol had to offer?

Maybe better put -- these were the best Idol voters had to offer. Votes don't necessarily translate to skill or potential for music sales.

There was some good talent that got voted out earlier (I'm thinking James, Casey, Pia) who might have done quite well at this stage of the season.