Let's try something new. Instead of ranking the current contestants based on how good you thought they were last night, order them from #11 to #1 based on how big you think their egos are -- smallest to 'It blots out the sun'.And now we've got a challenge.
11. Thia
10. Stefano
9. Naima
8. Paul
7. Haley
6. Scotty
5. Casey
4. Jacob
3. Pia
2. James
1. Lauren
11. Stefano. 'I'm at home under my blankie and everything's all right, I'm at home under my blankie...'10. Casey. 'So, um... what kind of noise does a zombie make? Whatever it is, I'll try it out during the song.'
9. Scotty. 'They keep calling me the chosen one. I don't completely understand what that means, but it sure sounds cool.'
8. Jacob. 'This isn't ego! This is the only way I know how to sing! It's in my blood! It's in my genes! It's in the fine print on the signup sheet of the Lavender Choir! -- can you edit that part out?'
7. Thia. 'The script says the princess can't be in serious danger before the last ten minutes. Oh, and I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to have my animal companion by now. Just to save some time, let's make it Steven.'
6. Paul. 'I don't have an ego. I'm just this completely oblivious to anything that happens while the last dose is churning through my happy rainbow bloodstream.'
5. Naima. 'Screw the unwritten rules. Forget the typical viewership breakdown. I? Have a really cool idea!'
4. Haley. 'So do I! Only mine's better! My ideas are better than anyone else's, especially when I have them after you do! Now let's see... someone's doing a piano, someone else is doing a lounge act, and I'm pretty sure someone is thinking about doing Casey. Now to get in all of their way...'
3. Pia. 'The judges told me not to sing any more ballads? What effect could they possibly have on the show?'
2. Lauren. 'I will make you all bow down before my god.'
1. James. 'Nah, I'm a nice guy. They can straighten up now.'
11 Paul Where am I again, roses are pretty.
10 Casey Screw it I'm going to have fun, oh oops I'll be a good boy now.
9 Stefano They tell me I have to connect but I don't know why.
8 Naima Screw it I'm going to have fun.
7 Hayley Screw it I'm going to have fun after I finish off whatever is in these left over coke cups.
6 Pia I know one thing and I will do it until the end of time.
5 Scotty I know one thing and I will do it until the end of time, but I should look harmless until people forget about the boy I killed during Hollywood.
4 Lauren Mommy says all men want me, what's jail bait?
3 Thia I'm so sweet, don't pay attention to the death stare when I don't get praised.
2 Jacob Diva just keeps leaking out.
1 James I'm a rawk God and they got Hulk Hogan just for me. I am TCO, I can do no wrong!
LAST EDITED ON 03-31-11 AT 05:04 PM (EST)11. Thia - She could pass for a singing Minnie Mouse in a Walt Disney stage musical.
10. Stefano - A really nice guy. Too nice, really. Too really nice.
9. Lauren - Such a harmless sweet gal - until she gets a bit of constructive criticism. Not so much ego as vanity.
8. Naima - has something of an ego that could easily get hurt, but even as daring as she can be on the stage, her ego overshadowed by her inner lack of confidence.
7. Paul - looks and sounds like a wimp to a guy, but somehow blossoms into a bouquet of rosy flowers that attracts the ladies like honey bees. No ego necessary. I still don't get it.
6. Haley - Ms Slinky has an ego, alright. Just don't call her a lounge singer or she'll... she'll... oh, I don't know either.
5. Casey - We haven't seen much of his ego lately, apart from it almost totally crumbling just as the Save was announced. Look back further in time, though, you see a guy with a very lively ego ready to try anything new musically.
4. Scotty - Ego of a cowboy. Strong, but not misplaced. He knows where he's at and doesn't need (or would even let) anyone to try to put him in his place.
3. Jacob - To bellow those notes like he does, the ego's got to be there. It's sure not id. He's done a good job checking it with a dose in inner humility, but don't let that fool you.
2. Pia - One look at her and you can tell she's thinking that she's Queen of the Stage.
1. James - a potent personality mix, with more than a full tank of high-octane ego fueling it. He's got the mental nitro afterburners that accelerates the ego to the unthrottled superego.