I believe torches and pitchforks are traditional.

An 1890s clockwork automation playing musical from an internal tin reel cylinder. The only thing more jerky than his movements was his voice. Painful to listen to, disconcerting to watch, and pimped because Svcking is the new Talent.

White Guy With Gears. And the wheels don't mesh.

Where's Elaine when you need her?

*checks schedule*

She goes right after James.

Jimmy likes Elaine

I used the string puppet and ventriloquist analogy, but your clock-wound automaton analogy is just as good if not better.

LAST EDITED ON 03-09-11 AT 09:45 PM (EST)

We were in the same general neighborhood of not-quite-perfected Artificial Intelligence, but I was thinking of this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAnyYTjjhJ0

(Warning: surreal.)

Or perhaps Ratatouille - when Remy is under Linguini's hat, making him move by yanking on his hair.

It all looks so. . . involuntary.

dance slaughter.

White Guy With Gears.

He still makes me smile and laugh. At least I don't fall asleep during his songs. I enjoyed him.

Gets a Coke Interview

All By Myself (Celine Dion/Eric Carmen) WNTS Ave=51.0 (4)

LAST EDITED ON 03-09-11 AT 09:44 PM (EST)

Steve so wants to poke that

ETA - Steve said she just slammed it. Mmmhmm. Just who's slammin' what now?

Silver sparkle one shoulder dress with extra large toilet paper tail.

J. We love you Pia. Shakes head. I think what you were going to do to top last week. There it is. Really beautiful.

R. Season 10 for me. Don't tackle those songs if you can't do them. You know Celine can slay these songs, you hit these notes dead on. Such a natural gift. In awe, excited, dope cool performance.

S. Sum total. Happy International Woman's Day, You slammed it.

...was that Casey's goat vibrato?

She tried, but it felt as if the notes were echoed inside her throat and clashing with each other before randomly throwing out their dead. Not enough power for the crucial parts, and stage presence needs some serious help.

And naturally, all this still puts her ahead of the pack.

No, Steven! Don't reveal it's a taped show -- oh, it's not as if 95% of the audience knows what International Women's Day is anyway...

LAST EDITED ON 03-09-11 AT 09:49 PM (EST)

Move aside, Generidivas. Now, this isn't the kind of song I'd want to go out and buy an album of. Having said that, she did a very good performance of this song, very confident on stage, a bit daring but quite within her limits on the sustaining high notes, and technically sound. But I hope she doesn't do this week in, week out, or she'll become way too predictable.

Pia is wearing Durbin's tail this week.

I think she is probably the strongest female singer this season. But I was a little bored with the song.

Maybe I'm Amazed (Paul McCartney) WNTS Ave=76.0 (1)

Wearing a too short vest. Scarf on neck rather than hanging off his butt. Still has the wallet chain that is just ever so classy.

R. Yo, James, so listen man, you are one of my favorites, when I was growing up and joined Journey, I loved voices that can sing anything. Slayed it. You, you just kind of turned the other cheek, this dude can do anything, dude, dudey dude dude.

S. Kicked it into next week. sang every review about you.

J. Let 'em clap baby. Get used to it. Those high notes, you have what the greatest rock singers have, Now Randy is interrupting J.

Yeah, I'd say some of those 'maybe's pretty much summed it up. (Wanna guess which ones?) And maybe I'm amazed by the consistent disconnect in reality between stage and panel desk. And maybe James is never going to synch his emotional overtones to the actual song. And maybe that Dustbin renaming is about to move from Dustbin Diamond to its brand-new home.

Actually, that's more of a definite. James Dustbin it is. Let me know when it's time to recycle him.

Careful Jimmy, with the crowd. Too early to start getting a big head.

But he sounded great.

Good performance, and although tame compared to last week's Judas Priest song with a mellower Paul McCartney piece, he still displays a lot of energy and emotion. And just look at those expressive eyebrows worth at least a few hundred thousand votes.

First I am happy he lost the tail.

He did a very good job with the song.

I realized that I always look forward to seeing what he will do. (although I also do this with Paul McDonald).

Not as dynamic as his rendition of "You Gotta Another Think Coming", but still a good effort.

*like*

Blue (Leann Rimes)

If I throw a boot at it, I think I can knock it off the fence.

I really loved that. But I don't think she'll be able to take the pressure. She is far too sweetie pie.

J.Lo stands up to Randy The Great. Hope to see this escalate through the season into some kickass beeyotch fest. Yup, that's what we need.

Navy blue shredded strapless, with yodeling.

S. That was beautiful CW part of America Roaring. Patsy Cline never recorded, you did such a good job (did he call her Leann)

J. You do diverse special things with your voice. Something so unique, special, good job.

R. Good parts, quite a bit of space between those two. Was a little boring and sleep for me. Got all this energy, you could do anything, boring for me.

CW part of America Roaring

*nods* That's generally the first thing people do when someone jams spikes into their eardrums.

LAST EDITED ON 03-09-11 AT 10:05 PM (EST)

Well, I wrote off this gal after last week's awful, slinky performance. The wardrobe department got its act together for this week and Haley picked a song that she could try something different with. While I liked the bluesy sound, I wasn't enamored of her performance and I can only take one song like this in a while. Her improvements tonight might keep her off the chopping block for this week.

I. don't. like. him.

This. is. the. Haley. subthread.

...THIS! IS! SPARTA!

I think I fell asleep.

 I Believe I Can Fly (R. Kelly) WNTS Ave=26.3 (3) (lowest rated song on What Not To Sing of the repeat songs this week, yikes)

Gets a Coke interview.

Can we please call him Kurt and have done with it?

Tights and a cape. (Did Rachel leave anything backstage?)

He was doing halfway well for most of it, but that vocal equivalent to a repeated keyboard drag was painful. I think Black Canary's done less damage with an oscillating note. Babies woke up, dogs howled, and Haley climbed back onto the fence.

A little too impressed with himself. We'll see how long that lasts.

Grey suite, black shirt, red checkered tie, and he swallowed a goat, A goat that needs to be tuned.

Gets Gospel Choir on stage.

*twitch*

S. Pure Passion, Can't even judge it, so good. Your wings will soar beyond your dreams.

J. It is hard to judge, you feel so much when you sing. With performance like this it can be anybodies game.

R. Talent unbelievable, wait we did a good job, when you start you have such a signature sound. When you went to the B verse went off, but good at the end, excited when you hit the stage.

Ryan believes only Jacob has proved he has lungs.

he swallowed
>a goat, A goat that
>needs to be tuned.

Ha! Classic.....thank you for that one.

Hah! Complete with the gospel ladies on both sides of him, he sings to the heavens! And, man, what a heavenly voice this dude has. He's amazing to watch and listen to. But - but! This is American Idol, not American Gospel, and its only a matter of time before his niche votes become a smaller and smaller pool of the total. He's got to switch it up if he's going to win - he has the talent for it.

my car alarm went off.

ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Smile (Michael Jackson/Charlie Chaplin/Nat King Cole) WNTS Ave=35.7 (3)

Smile (Michael Jackson/Charlie Chaplinman/Nat King Cole)

Fixed that for you *snort*

Strapless white and grey full length, black bow belt.
Synchronized knee bends, boingy boingy.

R. I loved the intro, so beautiful, hear the Michael and Adele in you. Pitchy with the band and jazzy arrangement. Which the whole song like the beginning.

S. Pitchy in the middle, so young, liked it all in all, front more than the end.

J. Beginning reminded me of last week, where your strength is. I like seeing you move, and what you can do. Sing like an angel.

so young, liked it all in all, front more than the end

Every single thing out of Tyler's mouth tonight just seems soooooo dir.ty. I love it. But in a bad way.

Even the pitchy in the middle part of it!

Pitch and yaw!