At the pretty coloured square set-up the six remaining survivors (3 Pagong, 3 Tagi for those scoring at home) meet Jeff (look Colleen, it’s Jeff!) who explains the reward. A night on a yacht! The women jump and scream. Joel positively beams and Dirk comments how a shower and a decent meal would make him feel a lot better. No one is sure exactly why a gratuitous Visa plug was required here.
The contest begins and Rich takes an early lead. Rich haters everywhere boo at the prospect of Rich winning two in a row. Dirk and Kelly fall behind early but, since both are doing poorly, they seem to stay a long time as the others move ahead. The questions seem surprisingly weighted towards health issues and Joel stays right behind Richard all the way. Kelly drops out when Dirk advances ahead but Dirk’s pleasure is short-lived as he realises everyone else has already moved one colour ahead and he has eliminated himself as well!
Jenna and Colleen drop out soon after and Joel and Rich wind up tied at the end. The final question, on care for sunburn, goes handily to Joel. Jeff informs Joel he’ll have to wait another night before he gets to go but he may be able to bring someone for breakfast later. Joel nods and the tribe heads home.
Day 32
A beaming Joel gazes out at the yacht. “I’m kind of annoyed to have to wait but I think the anticipation will make it even better. Plus everybody is wondering if they’ll be the one I choose. I don’t even know for sure I can take somebody. And I haven’t decided who I would take.”
Richard, stoking the fire “Joel is in a bit of a quandary here. If he has to choose one person over another he could piss a lot of other people off.”
Jeff arrives in a boat to take Joel to his reward and Rich points out the utterly stunning rainbow that he sails in under. (Personally that rainbow would make the whole ordeal worth it for me. Not to mention how fitting it is that Richard is the one who points it out.) The moment of truth comes when Joel has to pick. Joel considering carefully finally says “Dirk, buddy, see you for breakfast tomorrow!”
As Joel gets the tour of the yacht we see the women griping. Colleen complains to Jenna that Joel, who all along was saying Pagong should stick together has turned his back on them.
Dirk thanks Joel, God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit for the breakfast he will be about to receive. You’d think Jeff Probst was turning water into wine the way he goes on about it.
Joel gets cheese, wine, a massage from what looks like a Malaysian prostitute and cheesy music that plays as it is interspersed with the other Puala tribe members eating their meagre rice meal.
Rich, alone, comments “With both the guys going tomorrow I think I’m going to have an opportunity to be a little sneaky again.”
Joel, fed and showered (and his still buff body attracts a lot of comments on the message boards the next day) is taken to meet the captain (apologies for wild speculation that follows) who turns out to be his mother! Joel’s mother is a sweet, demure lady who reminds her son that he needs to be nice and polite to the women on the island and not embarrass the family. Joel is incredibly respectful and compliments his mother repeatedly to her and Jeff.
Day 33
The boat arrives to take Dirk away. The moment he does all hell breaks loose. Colleen, Kelly and Jenna start dissing the “big guys” and their attitude. Jenna speculates that the men teamed up to vote Sonja off. Kelly says Rich might be behind that. Colleen at one point blurts out“What is this? Kindergarten? Is it the boys versus the girls?”
Dirk meets Joel’s mother who fawns over him but comments he doesn’t look good and he’s running a fever. Dirk repeated assures her he is fine as he wolfs down a huge breakfast. Joel seems almost left out as his mother contemplates adopting a fifth child.
Jenna, in a confession to the camera admits “Kelly keeps badmouthing Rich because he was in the old alliance. But so was she and she was the one who turned on them. I mean, who do I trust more? The person who was in the alliance or the person who was in it and betrayed it?”
Rich sits with Colleen and talks candidly (or appears to speak candidly) that he thinks the men were concerned about Sonja’s health. They saw her as a mother figure, even a grandmother and wanted to spare her both the physical pain that was coming not to mention the horrible back-stabbing that is probably coming. He points out that several women probably voted for Dirk for the same reason.
Dirk and Joel return bringing Joel’s mother. She also brings along care packages. Rich reads e-mails from some friends, Colleen gets a sugar rush and Jenna gets the latest celebrity gossip from Joel’s mother. Dirk, looking even more ill after wolfing down all the food, wanders off at one point to “do the Ramona”.
Next up, the immunity challenge, the Walk The Plank contest. Jeff explains that this is a contest of will. Viewers at home take turns trying to come up with interesting insults for the remaining castaways (fill in your own, it’s fun). The castaways line up on the boards. After 15 minutes we see Jeff removing the 4th board. Colleen and Richard launch into horrible versions of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall”. Shortly thereafter Dirk, looking pale and hot in the baking sun, topples into the water. Next we see Rich make a wild gesture as he sings and plunge off himself. He leaves apologising that he is depriving the others of his singing.
Rich and Dirk, waiting on the shore, discuss if there’s anyone they are both thinking about voting for. Dirk seems unwilling to continue alliance talk.
Joel feigns concern with the others trying to psyche them into falling but meets his match in Jenna. With only two logs left Joel finally loses his footing leaving only the women.
Jeff removes the second last board. With over two hours passed Jenna tries to adjust her footing and winds up in the drink.
We see a shot of Jenna, Joel and Richard talking. “Is Dirk sick again?” Joel asks. “Yep,” says Richard “How bad was the food on that yacht?” The three laugh.
“I guess we shouldn’t feel jealous for missing it.” Jenna laughs, but the laugh seems forced.
Time continues to pass until finally, after almost 3 hours, Colleen tries to move and falls. Kelly wins the immunity necklace. Jeff also presents her with the product placement Dr. Scholl’s insoles (hopefully odour absorbent to kill the month old funk that is building up.
The tribe prepares for council. It seems with each council the castaways pack less and less to take with them.
“I’m not sure who I’m voting for” says Colleen. “And I’m really not sure who’s going.”
The tribe arrives at council and Jeff brings in the jury. Sonja looks far better after three days of real rest and medical care. Greg appears to have showered and shaved. Sue looks better than she has with her hair actually done nicely but seems quite bitter through.
Jeff launches into his questions. “Colleen.” He begins “Is gender politics playing a role in the voting now?”
Colleen smiles demurely “I don’t know. I mean there’s a million dollars on the line and it’s hard to know what the challenges will be. You want to pick the people who can beat you now and that’s really hard because we like each other.” There is general agreement all around.
“Joel.” Jeff asks “You got two votes last time and you might have irritated some people by not picking them to accompany you on the yacht.”
“That’s true.” Joel says “I could be going tonight. That’s a real possibility. But I had to pick one person and I thought Dirk could use the meal. Maybe it didn’t help as much as I hoped.”
“Dirk.” Jeff continues “Let’s talk about that. You’re health isn’t the best right now.”
“I’m ok.” Dirk asserts.
“Well you are running a fever. If our doctors feel you get too ill to continue you can be asked to leave. The show is called Survivor but we don’t want to see anybody put their lives at risk.”
“Jeff.” Says Dirk “None of us are in great shape. Colleen’s legs are looking bad and everyone’s losing weight. But if our saviour could endure 3 days on a cross then I can put up with this. I sure don’t want to go.”“Kelly.” Jeff turns to ask “you’re safe tonight. Do you think you might have left otherwise?”
“Maybe.” Kelly shrugs “At this point I’m just going to be true to myself and say what I feel. I’m here to compete as long as I can.”
“Ok,” Jeff says “Time to vote. Colleen you’re up first.”
Colleen enters the voting booth and writes her vote for Dirk. “He’s really looking sick and I think it’s kind of sucky of him to try to swing votes to me by mentioning my legs.”
Rich votes next, then Joel casts his vote for Colleen. “Her legs really are looking bad. Dirk can recover from a fever but if she doesn’t get treatment soon she may never recover.”
Kelly votes for Joel. “Same as last week. He treats women like dirt and I’m tired of living with him.”
Jenna votes and then we see Dirk casting his vote for Colleen. “She’s a sweet girl but I think she’s not having fun anymore.”
Jeff retires to count the votes. He returns and begins reading.
“Colleen
Joel
Dirk
Colleen
Dirk
That’s two for Colleen and two for Dirk.
Last vote…Dirk.
Dirk the tribe has spoken, I need you to bring you torch.”
Dirk nods and thanks everyone as he takes his torch to be extinguished. “I’ll pray for you all.” Dirk says as he goes.
The remaining Puala tribemembers head back.
In the next week’s trailer we see Joel saying “I guess Rich turned on us.” Followed by Rich saying “I screwed up…I’m out of here.”
Over the credits we see Kelly’s vote for Joel, Joel and Dirk voting for Colleen and Colleen, Jenna and the surprise vote of Rich for Dirk.
Dirk’s final words, while gracious mention God/The Lord 22 times, Jesus 4 times and The Holy Spirit twice and also briefly forgets he left his bible behind for the others. It makes you wonder how he lasted this long…
Thanks to all for your kind comments. They are appreciated.