LAST EDITED ON 07-14-01 AT 03:25 AM (EST)

Okay... I know it's a long way away, but I was telling my uncle about how interested I am in Blowsvivor, and he reminded me that he was a cameraman for the production...

So my uncle, the cameraman, said that he would help us spoil the show...

Periodically throughout the rest of the show, he will send me information... the problem is... he can't violate his contract outright, so instead, he will send clues that he says should be easy to decipher... the problem is, I am truly an inadequate spoiler, compared to sleeeve, and I can't seem to make heads or tails of the first one... so I figured that I'd post it here, and see if anyone can figure out what it is...

What my uncle sent was this article from an Italian newspaper, which corresponds to the time that Episode 8 of Blowsvivor was filmed... Here's the article:

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Lo scrutinio recente mostra un aumento nel Italia di vendite di pornografia. Sembra che ci sia una certa correlazione fra il pattino-formato e la popolarità del media. Analyists non può determinare la causa di questo aumento, anche se alcuni attribuiscono il fad ad un website che approvvigiona a questo mercato specifico. Se la tendenza di sviluppo continua, gli esperti predicono che la pornografia si transformerà in in esportazione principale dell' Italia entro dicembre ed assumeranno la direzione del mercato globale entro la seguente molla. Gli esperti sono stati infornati subito.
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I translated this story, using the altavista translate engine, and got:

The recent scrutiny extension an increase in Italy of pornografia sales. It seems that sure correlation between the ice-skate-format and the popolarità of the average is one. Analyists cannot determine the cause of this increase, even if some attribute the fad to website that it provisions to this specific market. If the continuous tendency of development, the experts foretell that the pornografia transformerà in in main export of Italy within December and will assume the following direction of the total market within motivating force. The experts have been put into an oven endured.

What does it all mean??? Can anyone help???

• RE: Important spoiler information,VampKira, 04:42 AM, 07-14-01
• RE: Important spoiler information,Outfrontgirl, 06:09 AM, 07-14-01
• RE: Important spoiler information,George Tirebiter, 02:46 PM, 07-14-01
• More info from my uncle,not sleeeve, 03:01 PM, 07-14-01
  • RE: More info from my uncle,Outfrontgirl, 03:14 PM, 07-14-01
    • RE: More info from my uncle,not sleeeve, 03:25 PM, 07-14-01
      • RE: More info from my uncle,Outfrontgirl, 03:59 PM, 07-14-01
        • RE: More info from my uncle,George Tirebiter, 05:03 PM, 07-14-01
          • French translation,AyatollahKhomeini, 11:13 PM, 07-14-01
            • RE: French translation,Outfrontgirl, 01:56 AM, 07-15-01
• Yet another article,not sleeeve, 10:35 PM, 07-14-01
  • RE: Yet another article,Outfrontgirl, 10:57 PM, 07-14-01

ROTF@ the triple E man!!

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"Let's spend the night together,
You'll wake up and live forever."
-Jamiroquai
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Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska

LAST EDITED ON 07-14-01 AT 06:13 AM (EST)

I thought the uncle cameraman died in ICB's episode. You mean there's another one. Like Uncle and Buncle?

Anyway, this translation engine seemed a little screwy so you actually tricked me into doing my own with the aid of my rusty Italian and this thing, not on-line, called a dictionary. So here goes, and you real Italian speakers can set me straight:

"Recent scrutiny shows an increase in pornography sales in Italy. There appears to be a definite correlation between the skate(or skid)-format (?)and the popularity of the medium. Analyists cannot determine the cause of this increase, even if some attribute the fad to a website that caters to this specific market. If this tendency continues to increase, experts predict that pornography will become Italy's principal export within the course of December and will take over the total market in the course of the ensuing spring. The experts are in the process of putting their heads together on this (but not in a literal oven) ASAP."

(I'm baffled by the skate-format. Some tech term? Skate or skid.
Also it's not spring the season it's a spring like a mainspring but I couldn't make that work so I cheated...)

As a spoiler--Not Sleeve, you should stop cruising all of Not Shakes bookmarked sites, as your purity meter is plummeting.
Seriously, it looks to me as if this spoiler tells us that Shakes fled to Italy to continue his commercial porn ventures and may be doing well enough to come back and finish the show, although the dates show this trend going back to last winter...

You can do better than this by listening to Sleeeve talk in his sleep or checking for what's hidden in his cuffs, anything!

ohhhh, notsleeeve--this is exactly why I do not aspire to be a spoiler. . . trying to make so much of so little!

I CAN tell you that I ran across a familiar face when googling for an answer about the Leaning Tower of Pisa (damned crossword puzzle clue. . .) Does this face ring a bell?

Yep--looks to me like our little friend is still working hard in his preferred field!

GT

This article hails from Northern France, and was dated the day after the previous article... I'm still confused, but maybe we can figure it out together:

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Nécrologe

Le cirque de déplacement pleure la perte d'un membre de lui est troupe aujourd'hui. Les amis des défunts l'ont décrit en tant qu'individu amical et charasmatic qui a prétendu se cacher dehors d'une boucle italienne de contrebande après qu'une affaire ait disparu aigre. À l'enterrement, les spectateurs ont mentionné la joie à voir son sourire excessivement grand un la fois passée. Il n'a aucun héritier connu.
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Since OFG thought my previous translation was not good enough, I'll leave it up to all of you to try to translate this one... good luck...

Oh... just to let you know, I'm only calling my source "Uncle Cameraman" to protect his identity... but perhaps it would be better if we just referred to him as Jesus.

There is NOTHING up my sleeeve...

Not Sleeve--
Did he give you any clue why he's feeding you French obituaries?

If sleeeve were allowed to post, I'm sure that he would be able to figure it out... when my uncle offered to help spoil the show I was sure that I could figure out his clues, but now I know that I'm completely inadequate compared to sleeeve... someone figure it out, because I can't do it on my own.

There is NOTHING up my sleeeve...

What's with this inadequate shit, NS? You used to be so cocky and hostile, and now you are like Peter Pan's shadow begging to be reattached? Did someone take away your Viagra script?
I agree of course that Sleeeve is better and smarter than you, but I thought you were blind to his capabilities.

OFG--I, too, am puzzled by this sudden lack of ability on his part, but I do remind you that his sig DOES say "there is NOTHING up my sleeeve." Maybe that's not all?

Just wondering, that's all.

GT

No one has tranlated this article, though! OK, here's the translation from dictionary.com:

Nécrologe The circus of displacement cries the loss of a member of him is troop today. The friends of late described it as a friendly individual and a charasmatic which claimed to hide outside Italian loop of smuggling after a business disappeared sour. With the burial, the witnesses mentioned the joy to see its excessively large smile last once. It does not have any known heir.

Hmmm, a deceased circus member involved in a business that went sour? Sound like anyone we know?

And now I too shall give the translation a try, with the help of my Not-on-line dictionary and this is one of the various possible meanings I get:
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Obituary

The travelling circus mourned the loss of a member of their troupe today. The deceased's friends described him as a very amicable and charismatic individual who claimed to be disguising his appearance from an Italian smuggling ring after an ill-chosen business deal went sour.
At the burial, the onlookers mentioned the joy of seeing his oversized smile in times past. There are no known heirs.
==================================================

I agree with AyaK. Hidden in Not Sleeeve's apparently unrelated spoilers we have two clown-related clues--the first of the mysterious increase in Italian internet porn trade, and the second relating the sad consequences of the "entrepreneur" (Bob?)trying to hide from his Italian porn associates.

How many times can this clown die, is what I wanna know?

My uncle just sent me this third article... but he says that the heat has really been turned up at the Blowsvivor office. He has informed me that he will have to back off for a week, or so... but he promises more spoilers coming later... this could be really good!!!

This article is from an German newspaper... I'll go ahead and include the Altavista translation to see if it helps.

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Reporter abgefeuert für das Verwenden der schlechten Grammatik in den Artikeln.

Es scheint, daß ein Reporter, der zugewiesen wurde, um internationale Geschichten zu verfolgen, seine Sprachfähigkeiten misrepresented. Obgleich der Reporter nur zugewiesen worden ist, um die geringen Artikel, reichend von den Nachrufen zu umfassen, überwachen Sie Reports polizeilich, und unverständliche Wissenschaft und Volkswirtschaftnachrichten, scheint es daß der Reporter, ein Amerikaner, übersetzt seinen Artikeln mit innaccurateübersetzung Software. Dieser Reporter ist nicht diesmal ersetzt worden, also wird dieser Artikel mit der gleichen überholten Technologie geschrieben, bis ein Wiedereinbau gefunden sein kann.
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Altavista translation:

Reporter fired for using the bad grammar in the articles.

It seems that a reporter, who was assigned, in order to pursue international stories, its language abilities misrepresented. Although the reporter was only assigned, in order the small articles, being enough of the ring-back signals to cover, monitor you report with the police, and incomprehensible science and national economy message, seem it that the reporter, an American, translate its articles with innaccurate translation software. This reporter was not this time replaced, therefore this article with the same outdated technology is written, until a re-installation can be found.




There is NOTHING up my sleeeve...

ROFL No eee!
I was going to post and ask you to translate the French one, as the bad translations are hilarious.

By the way, I'm starting to think the reason you're suddenly saying sleeeve is better than you is oh, so simple--sleeeve has hacked into your user account and is putting words in your mouth.
You might want to check your security.