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"Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by tribephyl on 07-11-07 at 05:45 PM
Yeah, yeah, yeah...so I'm late...so sue me...or more like so sue MB.

Anyways, with a morning breathwash of aged rum I present vol 1.7 of the Be The ...Triad slayer.

Seems the theme this week was "Clash of the Titans".
Not the cheesy 80's movie version with stop-motion skeleton warriors, but one in which the evil titan is pitted in battle against the last two remaining "heroes" of the legend.

When we last left you, the damsel in distress, Nessa, and the dashing yet slow-witted hero/warrior were trading back and forth a pardon of no consequence. While everyone in the village was readying the sacrificial maidens for their undoing. Unbeknownst to them, the half english/half gypsy monster of lore was secretly wasting the heroes time and energy with gruel and pointless errands.

This week let's us into the mind of the big and mighty beast known as the Triad. A multiheaded beast whom speaks in odd tongues, hoardes treasure and makes life even more miserable for the already miserated.

*ding*ding*
Heroes and villans to the quarter deck!
Seems we've got a particularly odyessian voyage for you peasants to undertake. First to find the legedary time clock of the gods.
A strenuous and at times, mind boggling warp of a puzzle that will test your strength of character and musculature.

*pop* GO!

The Triad lopes forward with all heads aimed at getting the prize, and following close behind are the lowly heroes, struggling against all the unfairness this weeks episode has thrown at them.

The Triad reaches the legendary timeclock first and celebrates with an enormous booty.
To the dismay of all the lowly villagers, the mighty Triad asks for the sacrifice of a non-virginal hero.

The peasants discuss beheading the beast, alas it seems the beast has been paying off the local wisewomen into saving their shedding skins and one of our heros must be pushed onto the sword of legend.

The loveable family guy hero gets a last minute reprieve and the sacrifice is then transferred to the last remaining warrior.

Sorry, ZhoDon, your time has come at last.
Let this kiss from the fairmaiden-hoochie guide you through to the afterlife.

Alas, I hardly miss ye.


You can call me Daddo.

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by vince3 on 07-11-07 at 09:39 PM
To quote a great man: I'll be Back! (and I'm bringing some friends with me.......)


"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by agman on 07-11-07 at 09:48 PM
aHHHHHHHH, pirate meat....It looks like the JD special !!!Dig in boys



"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by piratepolly on 07-11-07 at 09:48 PM
>*pop*


AWWWKKK!! AAWWKKK!! Polly wanna cap gun! Polly wanna cap gun! AAWWWK!

Polly wanna cutlass! Polly wanna dagger! Polly wanna blunderbus! AWWWKKK!! Polly wanna grappeling hook! Polly wanna boarding ax! Polly wanna cannon! AWWWKKK!!

Polly wanna gig on a pirate ship! AWWWKK!! AAWWWKK!!



With pirates! AWWWKK!!!

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by agman on 07-11-07 at 10:01 PM
>>*pop*
>
>
>AWWWKKK!! AAWWKKK!! Polly wanna cap gun!
>Polly wanna cap gun!
>AAWWWK!
>
>Polly wanna cutlass! Polly wanna dagger!
>Polly wanna blunderbus! AWWWKKK!! Polly
>wanna grappeling hook! Polly wanna
>boarding ax! Polly wanna cannon!
>AWWWKKK!!
>
>Polly wanna gig on a pirate
>ship! AWWWKK!! AAWWWKK!!


Does Polly want a beer?





"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by Sunny_Bunny on 07-11-07 at 10:21 PM
Jeepers Ra! We Reeeeeeeeeeeally have to keep that bird out of our grog supply.

Dominica’s national bird is a bit of a lush.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by agman on 07-11-07 at 10:38 PM
LAST EDITED ON 07-11-07 AT 10:39 PM (EST)

Nonsense, you can have one too hic hiccup....I's not as drink as you drunk I am........



grog....bring me more grog


"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by Sunny_Bunny on 07-12-07 at 00:47 AM
LAST EDITED ON 07-12-07 AT 00:49 AM (EST)

*Thud*

And I suppose you are just "resting" on the floor?


Sober up buddy, or I'm giving you to the cook.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by agman on 07-12-07 at 11:40 AM
LAST EDITED ON 07-12-07 AT 11:59 AM (EST)



No not resting*rubs head* I think Polly got me drunk and took advantage of me!



grog,had way too much grog!



pirated from Joy/qwertiepie


"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by foonermints on 07-11-07 at 09:51 PM
*throws piece of trash after JerkyJoes raft*
*looks around*
Shiver me timbers! All the skin creatures jumped ship!
*Happy Dance*
Look at ME. I'm CrabMaster!


Now to find a barrel of grog for my new home. Why do you think we scuttle sideways?

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by sporkman on 07-11-07 at 11:11 PM
Now that I'm a member of the Triad, I'm not afraid to shine. Watch me dive underwater and get the clue! With that anchor line to follow I'm not that bad of an underwater swimmer. Atleast I'm better then Kendra.

I can't believe the red crew thought they could get away from us when we were trying to figure out the next clue. Don't they know what my greatest skill is? I'm the best follower on the ship. I could have followed them with my eyes closed tight,
wearing a blindfold,
at night,
with no moon.

Now Cameron, I think us officers will let you off easy this time. Don't oversleep again. Only Jolly Ol' Cap'n Azmyth is allowed to sleep in. Go tidy up our quarters and were call it a lesson learned. Just don't make too much noise. Cap'n Azmyth is taking his afternoon nap.


"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by The Cake on 07-12-07 at 10:59 AM
Looks like I have graduated from the gallows & on to steering the ship! Many thanks Loupert, do I see the start of an alliance forming? Wait, that's right there aren't any sides.

On a side note, did anyone notice the beautiful Princess Leia do I was sportin? Now I just gotta get the captain to try out another new accent, maybe he can add Darth Vader's voice to his numerous other freaky tones.


"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by Spanky68 on 07-12-07 at 12:15 PM
Loupert....wheeze...wheeze...I'm your FATHER! Come over to the DARK SIDE!!!

Nice do, but you still look like a blissed-out glass blower waiting for the next Renaissance Festival to start so you can score some smoke from the knife thrower two booths down.


"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by agman on 07-12-07 at 12:30 PM
Oh my gosh, lose the accent dude. You thinking you have a British accent is nothing but an azMYTH. I guess when the sharks ate me, I lost my pirate accent....

Keelhauled by tribe


"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by The Cake on 07-12-07 at 01:04 PM
Oh Captain, my Captain...
So you would be 3 booths down doing impressions, right? I can just imagine the hoards of people lining up to view that.
Oh, and now you've just runied your chances of getting an invite into my van to toke up.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by Spanky68 on 07-12-07 at 02:15 PM
When I leave this ship, I am in the music business...in the Pac Northwest. You think I don't have my pharmaceutical needs met? Put down the glass pipe. I can get whatever I want whenever I want. So I am not going to be coming to your van. I don't think we'll ever be on the same side...not that there are sides to BE on.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by dreamerbeliever on 07-12-07 at 02:54 PM
Loupert....wheeze...wheeze...I'm your FATHER! Come over to the DARK SIDE!!!

Noooo! That can't be! Noooooo!

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by Spanky68 on 07-13-07 at 00:02 AM
Wheeze...wheeze....It's true. Come on, son. Hang out with me. We'll throw ball, grab some hot dogs and slay all the innocent young jedi we can fit on our light sabres. It'll be fun.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by jbug on 07-12-07 at 01:12 PM
were trading back and forth a pardon of no consequence

And that's not all we were trading IYKWIM.
I'm missin my honey baby's kisses already! Now, what to do, oh, what to do!
Gotta figure out someway to get that accent tongued blue coat out of the captains cabin. I needs me some more gold!
It'll serve him right if Kendra gets on his team every time from now on! (sorry kendra - but you are a drag).


Honored by Tribe

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by Spanky68 on 07-12-07 at 02:18 PM
don't hate the playa, hate the coat. And even Loupert admits that the hat is lined with some sort of hallucination-inducing drug.

I'm guessing your hallucination would be that your loverboy has come back as a ghost or something. Yeah, like THAT could ever happen. HAHAHAH!

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by vince3 on 07-12-07 at 02:24 PM
LAST EDITED ON 07-12-07 AT 02:25 PM (EST)

ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

You just might see dead people yet..........


"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by Spanky68 on 07-12-07 at 11:07 PM
I see deadbeats

And in Laurel's case: deadheads.


"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by The Cake on 07-13-07 at 09:23 AM
What a long, strange trip it's been....

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by Sunny_Bunny on 07-13-07 at 10:29 AM
WE see stupid people.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by dreamerbeliever on 07-12-07 at 03:09 PM
Father is home. Where are my little girls? Jupiter, Laurel, Kendra, Christa, and Nessa, come give daddy a kiss.

Three of you made me so proud. Kendra, I heard that you tried to prove your independence and voted against pops. That's a bad girl! Go out into the yard and pick out a switch, this will hurt me more then you.

whack!

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.7"
Posted by Spanky68 on 07-13-07 at 10:58 AM
Normally, I would tell you not to whack one of my granddaughters, but on this occasion, go ahead. The little punk ...er little darling was supposed to vote for Zho Daun anyway.

"The admiral is amused."
Posted by Estee on 07-12-07 at 05:58 PM
Sue me? So here's another one who hasn't read his contract. You may want to check out subclause C8: 'forfeiture of all legal rights'. It's right above the one where you give up your -- well, we'll get to that.

So. The 'Triad', is it? You all come up with such amusing names for yourselves when you think you're in total control of the game. It's even funnier when I consider that you're still playing without a rulebook -- and yet, you still feel you're in charge, nothing could possibly happen which would ever upset your balance of power, and it's just a question of waiting for any potential Final Three and settling things from there.

Heh. Heh. Heh.


"Attention, Jeff Probst."
Posted by Estee on 07-12-07 at 06:03 PM
Just so you know: if this try works where the other one didn't, the original will officially be your fault.

Again.

You can be replaced. You can all be replaced.

"RE: Attention, Jeff Probst."
Posted by Sunny_Bunny on 07-12-07 at 07:21 PM
"You can be replaced. You can all be replaced."

Ha! If you were going to replace us, we would have been gone at least 3 survivors ago. Face it, you love us -- well, you love the Temple bar with matching handmaidens, to be more precise.

Now. WE have a few things to ask of you.

This was supposed to be a pleasure cruise for Ra and I, full of bodice rippings and being tied to masts, etc. Instead, you "surprise" us with this lot?! We want our ship back, dang it!


Please don't ask me to listen to Azhats horrible accents anymore. If you are going to cast bad actors who are trying to hone their craft, please cast ones with talent. Besides, being British myself, it's like listening to him rake his hand-hook over the chalkboard. I don't mind him doing a bad Frog accent, as the Frogs deserve it, but it's just so bloody annoying!

Nice try sticking us with another Romber. To bad it didn't work out, but Jonessa just doesn't sound all that appealing anyway.

Oh, and the "Who's your daddy" thing with Rupert2? Just. to. creepy.

You know it's bad when the parrot Ra gave me starts squawking on and on about "Polly wants this, Polly wants that" BEFORE he gets together with his Seagull buddy and busts into our grog supply.