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Original Message
"Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by tribephyl on 06-29-07 at 02:52 AM
*ding*ding* Pirates to the quarterdeck!
*urp*

Okay...looks like we actually have a theme this week. It's called "Your Ambition". Sooo....Let's let Christa lead it off...

Christa: I want my daughter to win the money. That's my ambition.

Okay. Ummm..I hate to be the one to tell you but your daughter is NOT on the show. And as clearly stated in the rules there will be no sharing of the prize money. Next?

Jay: To win, of course.

Yo. Jay. You gotta stop giving away the ending away. We're only 5 episodes in and you keep spoiling the ending. Knock it off or we'll have to change our time-slot to ... NEVER.

Nessa: Flirting. Boys. Flirting. Boys. Did I mention Flirting with boys?

See... that was easy, right?

Sean: Almost as easy as she herself is.

Ouch. Nice one Sean.

*urp*
So Sean, what's your ambition?

Sean: To be outpirated by a slut.

MB? Can we make that happen?

MB: Just keep to the script Daddo.

Okay....Well, I've got a crappy ambitious story for you. It stars a faux-celebrity poker player and his ambition to confuse pirates by using playing cards as clues. Sadly it didn't work and the RedTeam pirates succeeded in nabbing the big hand and dethroning Cap'n Louie.

Okay red guys? Who would you like to lead you in this weeks PC?

Laurel: I vote to install Cap'n Amsterdam and his merry bunch of spotted dicks.

Sounds great folks *urp* Boy, I really need to start staying on a boat because everytime I get here I start getting seasick...*uhhhh* Pardon *URF*. Ahem, okay. I'm gonna go away for a bit. You guys discuss what you want to do for the rest of the show.
I'm gonna go hurl, and re-discuss my contract with MB to see if we can't find an Australian Chen-Bot to take over for me. That's my ambition. *urp* ....


*A mere 5 hours later*
Productorial page: Ummm....Mr Daddo? You're needed on the Barque.
Great Emu droppings. I'm really not feeling so well. We didn't find a robot to replace me?
Productorial page: We're still looking into it. I did bring some dramamine... here you go, bottoms up.

*gulpgulpgulp*urp*

Allrighty Pirates. *sways to left* whoa...*holds onto starboard railing* Let's get this over with quicklike. Ummm Who got black marks? Okay. Laurel. Safe. It's between Sean and Louie. If Sean spent some money he could be safe. If not, Louie, you will be safe.
Looks like Nessa splurged on a big bag of nothing so...*urp*
SorryseanyouhavebeencutadriftAlasIhardlymissye'! *runs off screen*



You can call me Daddo.

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by agman on 06-29-07 at 09:21 AM
LAST EDITED ON 06-29-07 AT 09:26 AM (EST)

arrggh lets see, stabbed me mates in the back, conspired to get rid of that hot wench Nessa, thought I had everything figured out. I don't have a clue why those swabbies cut me adrift. goodbye Cameron, I'll hardly miss ye.(I will be missin yer Dubloons though) Nessa, we may not be gettin along, but yer still has a fine backside!



argh matey, me arse has been sent adrift out here amongst the lawyers...I means
sharks!!!ah carp, something just bit me..........

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by kingfish on 06-29-07 at 10:36 AM
That was just one of us (the pinch). Wrong Way Freddy. Our invasion was suppose to start, but Wrong Way went after the recently cut-adrift instead of one of the remaining crew.

Waste of time, and he exposed our plans to "TAKE OVER THE WORLD" too soon. But, well, you'd have to know Freddy to know why that made sense. To him. You see, a surfer skin creature stepped on him when he was molting, and his carapace is, well, a little flatter than normal. We love him anyway, but he won't be on any future raids.

So we retreat back to our crab holes and we regroup.

Setting put DeCon on the outer perimeter for the dreaded and despicable shore rats. They are dreaded, and despicable (did I mention that?)


tribe

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by agman on 06-29-07 at 01:44 PM
Gurgle gurgle gurgle..........



Da duh Da duh daduh daduhdaduh....

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by foonermints on 07-01-07 at 02:18 PM
Yarrr, looks like another one for the chum bucket. That old Eight Ball of Destiny rolled over ya and kept right on sailin'.
We wonders what crawls out of that bung hole of a ship nextlike.


RUM! I must have 'e more RUM!

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by jbug on 07-05-07 at 09:23 AM
For some reason instead of hearing the music from Jaws, I'm hearing The Pink Panther! I think you have some of the
Da duh Da duh daduh daduhdaduh...s in the wrong order.


Honored by Tribe

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by agman on 07-05-07 at 11:46 AM
> For some reason instead of
>hearing the music from Jaws,
>I'm hearing The Pink Panther!
> I think you have
>some of the
>Da duh Da duh daduh daduhdaduh...s
>in the wrong order.
>
Hey cut me some slack, I'm gettin eaten by sharks here!




argh matey, me arse has been sent adrift out here amongst the lawyers...I means
sharks!!!ah carp, something just bit me..........

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by Estee on 07-05-07 at 03:23 PM
Can we do something about this infestation? If I wanted the cast to have crabs, Erica would have been involved. Either you all start eating the crabs off whatever deck is handy or I'm going to bring the rats in to get the crabs under control. I can do that. And why can I do that? Because the rats are still under contract. Also, they're very popular right now and can only help the ratings. Plus I happen to love French cooking and I'm hungry. For crab.

Tell the redhead with the big nose it's a solo deal.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by RudyRules on 06-29-07 at 11:32 AM
Did ye see the beautiful shot of me flying proudly?

I must say, I do look awfully handsome!

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by rasslinmomma on 07-01-07 at 10:16 AM
Cameron, I've got ambition too....I want to play the "Anybody but me" card and vote for whoever the boys say! It's a winning strategy, just ask Sandra.

Everybody keeps calling me one of the weakest in the challenges, but ye haven't seen a black spot on me lately, have ye?

I'm filling me pockets with plunder, and I don't even have to be the strongest, or the smartest, or the prettiest, or the sluttiest, or anything!!!!


Guys, what am I supposed to do next? Just tell me, 'cause I'll back voting off anybody.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by tribephyl on 07-01-07 at 04:49 PM
Hey. At least your choosing a side.

Laurel can't do it. And Azmyth doesn't even know what one is.


You can call me Daddo.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by The Cake on 07-02-07 at 11:03 AM
Sides? What are those? I know who's side I'm not on now. Jay, Azmyth. Looks like if you stay in charge my days will be numbered. Although my speech at the end made you guys look really stupid. Now the whole crew knows you have an alliance & will be looking to get rid of you.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by Spanky68 on 07-02-07 at 11:51 AM
Side? I thought you should take a side.

But I didn't mean you had to be ON a side, as obviously, there are no SIDES to be on. Just a jolly bunch of pirates...at least one of which is deranged (or high) enough to slur his speech at inopportune moments.

Did I say SIDES? I meant you need to do some work and not be such a drag at challenges.


"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by jbug on 07-05-07 at 09:26 AM
I don't even have to be the strongest, or the smartest, or the prettiest, or the sluttiest, or anything

Well, you are good at something afterall - being good at nothing!


Honored by Tribe

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by agman on 07-05-07 at 11:49 AM

Feeling confident about our postion in the game are we? If ye remembers, I felt that way last week and look what has become of this salty dog.

argh matey, me arse has been sent adrift out here amongst the lawyers...I means
sharks!!!ah carp, something just bit me..........

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by jbug on 07-05-07 at 04:45 PM
Oh, poor little fellow - here. Let me throw you a bit of something to eat.

~~~~ chum chum chum chum~~~~


Honored by Tribe

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by rasslinmomma on 07-05-07 at 05:25 PM
Golly Nessa, I said sluttiest and suddenly you appear. How did you know I was talking about you? It's almost like you were eavesdropping from another deck or something.

I am too good at something. I keep my promises and vote for whomever I'm told to, that's what.


I'd make a pretty good anchor, too.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by agman on 07-05-07 at 05:38 PM
LAST EDITED ON 07-05-07 AT 05:39 PM (EST)

*snort, wipes diet coke off the screen* well nessa ye wench, ya just got yerself told! bwahahahahahahahahah (don't worry nessa, ya still me fav)


argh matey, me arse has been sent adrift out here amongst the lawyers...I means
sharks!!!ah carp, something just bit me..........

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by KObrien_fan on 07-01-07 at 02:30 PM
I spoke, I had 3 confessionals, but all to make you take pity on me and my child, she needs the money you know. Men just keep watching my oobies, I have you right where I want you!


Oh, and I didn't really want that treasure that was inches away from me, I just wanted to hear Jay say that he had his fingers in my hole

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by Spanky68 on 07-02-07 at 11:52 AM
you should be thankful we're watching your oobs. The rest of you is less hot up close than from a distance.

Just sayin.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by dreamerbeliever on 07-02-07 at 07:23 PM
*snort* When did you get a sense of humor?

Even though I'm married, will admit that your oobies are lovely, but I'm more an azz man. Just ask Nessa.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by kingfish on 07-05-07 at 08:48 AM
Arrr..

Oobies? Pirates ain't got oobies... Pirates got cannon balls... Or Grapeshot.. (Or BB- shot) or even some version of sea-going mammals (dolphins, humpbacks - no, wait, that's reserved for something else - whales, or 'Que Orca-citas!') or whatever, but not oobies. I mean, oobies?

"Oh you great big pirate man, does you momma know you talk like that? And make frilly lace for you to wear to church? Ooohh."

By the skeleton of Davy Jones himself, when you left your landlubbing ways, you left your 'Oobies', your boobies, your hooters, your bananas, your peaches, all that non-pirate approved mud-crawler lingo behind.

If ye be a'going piratin', ye should at least sound like a pirate.

Aye, and that that thar accent, Azmuth? I ain't never heard a real pirate captain speak like that, except on the 'Lavender Lady'. And them boys? Well them boys swung their cutlass left-handed, savy?

I mean, pirating bein' what it is, most pirates try that left handed cutlass swinging once in a while, but ye just don't talk like that. Pirates got he-man macho seadogs images, so straighten up and talk right.

What goes on in the Captains cabin,.....

The Pirate's Wiki-Reference!

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by vince3 on 07-05-07 at 12:09 PM
and what's wrong with swinging cutlasses left handed?

Southpaw Pirates Coalition

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by kingfish on 07-05-07 at 02:18 PM
Aye Matey.

We pirates be libr'l Democrats, and see that thar be nothing wrong with that thar left coast swingin' lifestyle. We even be a namin' ye "Ye Humpback Whale Club", and allowing ye to sleep in the same briney pools of muck 'low decks.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by kingfish on 07-01-07 at 03:14 PM
Oh, and by the way, I'm taking names. Anyone who chops on my railing don't deserve to be kept from the sharks. Before this is over they get strapped to the anchor.

Pulling out the cutlass and whacking out chunks of ones gunnell?

That is just rude. Even for pirates.

So far:
Joe (2)
Azmyth (2)
Louie(1)

Ye Olde Pirate Ship

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by foonermints on 07-01-07 at 05:54 PM
Maybe yer just a tumbledown collection of driftwoood only held together by barnacles, so bad that even the crew takes whacks out o' the rails? Evidently even the RATS have fled off yer crusty scuppers. You see any RATS?
I sure don't.


RUM! I must have 'e more RUM!

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by kingfish on 07-01-07 at 07:32 PM
LAST EDITED ON 07-01-07 AT 09:52 PM (EST)

Barnacles! An old ship's best friend. And the scuppers are only crusty because of the skin creatures not managing to get their pitiful heaving over the rail (may they get splinters in their chins).

Rum is what leads to the crusty scuppers, these 'Pirates' can't even hold their grog.

The rats are obviously scared off by the fearsome attacks of the Crab Union. We have rat tail trophies stuffed and mounted above our burrow mantles.

Oh for the day of real pirates, not secretaries and bartenders playing pirate games.

Ye Increasingly Angry Old Pirate Ship!
Hoist the lot of 'um. Then hoist a lot of rum.


"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by byoffer on 07-05-07 at 11:09 AM
Ship? I be a barque. Not a ship. In fact if you look up barque in the dictionary it says a boat that is like a ship but definitely not a ship.

And I say let them whack away at me railings. But enough with these guys doing the whackin'. Where be the wenches?? Aye, it should be the wenches doing the whacking on my deck.


"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by dreamerbeliever on 07-02-07 at 07:16 PM
Whew, sure am glad I be rid of that blue suit! Hard to be America's sweetheart when I have to be ruthless.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by piratepolly on 07-04-07 at 07:01 PM
AWWKK!! AWWKKK!! Where's Ben? Where's Ben?

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by sporkman on 07-04-07 at 08:39 PM
Oh man, do I have a massive hangover. I think I drank a little too much rum before the last episode. I don't remember what I did. I hope I didn't do anything to draw attention to myself like become bunkmates with the hot chick or form an alliance or become an officer again.

Oh no, why am I waking up in the captain's quarters?


Sorry, I'm still catching up with my tivo'd shows

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by Spanky68 on 07-04-07 at 09:05 PM
phew! I was starting to think you were joining the "other side". Er...um...not that there ARE sides, mind you. No...of course not.

Well, glad to have you back anyway, Mr. Ben. Carry on.

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by piratepolly on 07-04-07 at 10:06 PM
AAWWWKKK!! AWWWWK!

Where's Jay? Where's Jay?

AAWWKKK!


Polly wanna union local! AWWWKKK!

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by jbug on 07-05-07 at 09:38 AM
Now just what am I supposed to do with this piece of parchment I spent my hard earned gold on? (& a few of you know just what I mean by hard earned now, dont you?

Whatever JD was tellin me about buying it and then selling it didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Did any of you other lassies understand this whole buy & sell thing? Something about market value, supply & demand, whatever. Maybe I can unload it next week for a whole lot more than I paid for it. Now that I understand is the idea, right?

Won't it be a b*tch if I actually need it next week?


Honored by Tribe

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by piratepolly on 07-05-07 at 12:01 PM
AWWK!! AAWWWKKK!

Who's Joy? Who's Joy?

AWWWWKKK!!

"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by agman on 07-05-07 at 12:21 PM
LAST EDITED ON 07-05-07 AT 12:21 PM (EST)

>Who's Joy? Who's Joy?

>AWWWWKKK!!

psst, Polly me rolickin' bucaneer. Joy be's a fine lookin' wench everyone jumps for when they are happy!



Shiver me timbers mateys



"RE: Be The... Pirate Master 1.5"
Posted by Bravehart on 07-05-07 at 02:19 PM
Avast Ye swabs!

Me ambition is to have all ye swabs on me side! Count me in the Pirate Southpaw Coalition! Me promises no spoilers this week. Howsever, me does 'av a giggle fer yous.


A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."


Bartender: "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

Pirate: "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."


Bartender: "Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"


Pirate: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."


Bartender: "What about that eye patch?"

Pirate: "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them ##### in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from bird #####."


Pirate: "It was my first day with the hook."

"Attention: all hands."
Posted by Estee on 07-05-07 at 03:28 PM
I've received advance notice from my spies. We are soon to be under attack by the END ship The Rusty Chenbot. They're coming after our fishing groups. Prepare to defend this territory with your very lives and remember to die in the general direction of a camera. They will not take our timeslot without a fight!

-- I've just been informed that The Rusty Chenbot has taken our timeslot without a fight. Or a single casualty.

You are all in deep trouble.



Cameron? My office. Bring the cat-o-nine-tails. And an extra tail.

"RE: Attention: all hands."
Posted by agman on 07-05-07 at 03:47 PM
>-- I've just been informed that
>The Rusty Chenbot has taken
>our timeslot without a fight.
> Or a single casualty.
>
>
>You are all in deep trouble.

Ya see, I was the glue that held this show together and kept us afloat.... Ya cuts me adrift last week and ya caused bad karma. Oh I hope ya barnacle brains suffer for the terrible way in which ya treated me.....


Keelhauled by tribe