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"Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."

Posted by shakes the clown on 04-23-01 at 02:02 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-23-01 AT 03:31 PM (EST)

From the home office in my head comes my virgin attempt at a top ten list.....

The Top Tem Reality TV Stars I Wouldn't Want To Be...


10. Mandy (Temptation Island): For one, I don't have six hours a day to do my hair...plus, it must be hard to get a job with "professional slut/whore" on your resume.

9. Manuel (The Mole): being the dumbest person on that crappy show ought to come with an automatic ban on reproducing.


8. Dr. Sean (Survivor I): only a truly pathetic media-whore would sink so low as to come on SB.com to beg for attention (wink-wink)


7. Bitchell (Suvivor II): bad enough being that tall, now try doing it without the benefit of having a spine.


6. Debb (Survivor II): its gotta suck when the only positive thing in your life is the fact that you get presents from your husband on your Aniversary AND Mother's Day.


5. Recruit Thomson (Boot Camp): you know your life sucks when you go on a reality show to be a star and instead you find out that you only have one month to live...oh yeah, to add insult to injury, your luxury item(stuffed lemon) ends up becoming a bigger star than you.


4. The Colbster (Survivor II):
If beer and bitches were birthday wishes, Colby would be about 96 years old by now.


3. Temptor Sean (Temptation Island): gotta suck when your big Reality TV moment consists of admitting to America that you "have trouble with putting on shirts."


2. Nick (Survivor II): will always be remembered for answering the age old question, "How long do you have to sit around and do nothing before the whole town smells like your ass?"


And the number one Reality star I wouldn't want to be.........

1. Scerri (Survivor II): ought to write the phrase "He Hate Me" on the back of all her shirts (does anyone actually get that joke?)



Table of contents

Messages in this discussion
"RE: Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."
Posted by Dalton on 04-23-01 at 02:52 PM
Since I have better taste in teevee viewing habits than
to watch TI or BC...I cannot comment on those portions.
~~~~~~~~~

As to Number 4. "The Colbster" --- He's only 27 years old
and he's already had MORE beer and babes that you will
have when you're 94.....so, na na na na na na! Pffftt!

~~~~~~~~~

Last Comment...I noticed DICQUE HATCH was omitted??
Sure like the Clown wouldn't turn gay, fat, nikked
and obnoxious....if it won him the big media whoring
bucks!! HA.

Dalton
(lapsed mbr./w.l.s.f.c.)


"RE: Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."
Posted by dangerkitty on 04-23-01 at 03:19 PM
Nice list, Shakes, and "Love them special effects! Them special effects is amazin'!"

Since I only watch Survivor 2 (and about 1 1/2 Boot Camp Eps) I can best pick out these two faves:

>7. Bitchell (Suvivor
>II)
: bad enough being
>that tall, now try doing
>it without the benefit of
>having a spine.

>
>1. Seccri (Survivor II):
> ought to write the
>phrase "He Hate Me" on
>the back of all her
>shirts (does anyone actually get
>that joke?)

A couple comments on number one:

1. Ahahahahahah!! Any slam on Jerri really lights my fire!

2. Have you learned how to use your "edit" function? Cuz the misspelling of "Scerri" distracts from the effect.(just trying to be helpful! )

3. YES, I certainly do get the joke! I heard the guy wanted to change it and they wouldn't let him. Also, being a Charger fan and only lately relieved of the Ryan Leaf ball-and-chain, there were some great suggestions for Leaf to head for the XFL, where he could have these choices of jersey-name: "He Intercept Me" or "Everybody Hate Me".

Nice list!


dangerkitty

"Nevermind" - Kurt Cobain and Emily Litella

"Remember - you are unique, just like everybody else."


"RE: Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."
Posted by ItzLisa on 04-23-01 at 03:46 PM

>8. Dr. Sean (Survivor I): only a truly pathetic media-whore would sink so low as to come on SB.com to beg for attention (wink-wink)
*** Yeah, not like the rest of us!!! (*winks back at Shakes!*)

>7. Bitchell (Suvivor II): bad enough being that tall, now try doing it without the benefit of having a spine.
*** BEAUTIFUL!!!! Hey, that'd make him like Stretch Armstrong!

>6. Debb (Survivor II): its gotta suck when the only positive thing in your life is the fact that you get presents from your husband on your Aniversary AND Mother's Day.
*** But with the money he saves, he can afford to buy her those crotchless panties that say "#1 MOM" on them! (Ewwwww!!! I'm gonna burn in hell for that one! Pass the sunblock!)

>4. The Colbster (Survivor II): If beer and bitches were birthday wishes, Colby would be about
96 years old by now.
*** *The crowd at SB now begins holding their lighters over their heads to show Shakes the love* I can't WAIT till Colby gets voted off this week! (I'm sorry, Dalton! And no, I've calmed down and no longer think Tina's going to hand Lis the million because she feels bad for her. I promise, no more doing Nyquil past the expiration date!)

>1. Scerri (Survivor II): ought to write the phrase "He Hate Me" on the back of all her shirts (does anyone actually get that joke?)
*** Uuuuummmm....no.... but it's okay, you don't have to explain it if it'll take too long! You just asked, and I answered!


**************************************
W.L.S.F.C. - NY chapter


"RE: Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."
Posted by Drive My Car on 04-23-01 at 03:58 PM
This is great!!!!
Will your talents never cease?
Actually you gotta watxh those typos or people are gonna start thinking you're BA (or Dr. Sean)

Bitchell- no spine- good one. But actually I think he was just so happy to be part of the IN crowd he forgot there was actual money involved.

Love ya Stupid Clown

EBug

And an aside to ItzLisa- OMG you sick sick puppy!!! God that was funny (I would repeat it but don't wanna risk burning in hell)


"RE: Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."
Posted by ItzLisa on 04-23-01 at 04:22 PM
Hee hee!! My brilliance doesn't go unappreciated (nevermind the fact that I was blatantly riding on Shake's coat-tails!)

And Buggy, have you noticed? You and I are closerthanthis to hitting our #700!!! Although, granted, all I need are a couple of good sneezes and I'll be there!

**************************************
W.L.S.F.C. - NY chapter


"RE: Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."
Posted by Loogaro on 04-23-01 at 04:20 PM
> Bitchell (Suvivor
>II)
: bad enough being
>that tall, now try doing
>it without the benefit of
>having a spine.


That really is funny. Amazing what can be done with a little Scerri Stiffener prosthesis up your backside.

Can I throw in an honorable mention for B.B.Andersen (S1)? Thrown off for teabagging his balls in the drinking water, or some such thing. Evidence that patriarchies are doomed everywhere.

~~
Loogaro


"RE: Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."
Posted by Survivorerist on 04-23-01 at 05:12 PM
'Tis kinda funny, Shakes. Out of the five Survivor people you wouldn't wanna be, I would have loved being any one of them! <buries head in hands> I've been Shakesified! Oh the humanity! It stings, it stings!

But funny none the less...

================

Survivorerist
S.B.P.C.
S.B.J.S.B.C.
N.L.F.C.
G.A.W.D.
N.T.B.U.G.F.

"God blessed Texas with his own hand. Sent down angels from the promised land. Gave'em a place where they can dance. If you wanna see heaven brother here's your chance. I've been sent to spread the message. God blessed Texas."
-Little Texas "God Blessed Texas"

Go Colby!


"Survivoreriest......."
Posted by shakes the clown on 04-23-01 at 05:21 PM
Out of the five Survivor people you wouldn't wanna be, I would have loved being any one of them


.....let me get this straight...you want to be Debb???? That's just not right.


"RE: Survivoreriest......."
Posted by Survivorerist on 04-23-01 at 05:25 PM
Oops. Ok. Out of the five Survivor people you wouldn't wanna be, I would have loved being any one of four of them...

================

Survivorerist
S.B.P.C.
S.B.J.S.B.C.
N.L.F.C.
G.A.W.D.
N.T.B.U.G.F.

"God blessed Texas with his own hand. Sent down angels from the promised land. Gave'em a place where they can dance. If you wanna see heaven brother here's your chance. I've been sent to spread the message. God blessed Texas."
-Little Texas "God Blessed Texas"

Go Colby!


"RE: Survivoreriest......."
Posted by desert_rhino on 04-23-01 at 06:45 PM
I'm afraid I really have to protest that Dr. Sean one...

The guy shaved his body, and built a huge, completely useless dildo, er, "fishing pole," apparently BOTH as a compensatory effort for some unmentioned physical liability, and YOU wanna BE him? You're a sad, sick, bastige, Erist... Didja KNOW that Dr. Sean is now the "Door Prize" on Match.com? Check it out!

-- JV


Icarus steps out for the afternoon.


"RE: Survivoreriest......."
Posted by Survivorerist on 04-23-01 at 09:20 PM
What are you talking about? Dr. Sean was great! I loved watching him! The best quote from him, with Dirk, was, "Maybe we're a bad team." "But we're a fun team though." Long live the Palau Tiga Brain Trust!

================

Survivorerist
S.B.P.C.
S.B.J.S.B.C.
N.L.F.C.
G.A.W.D.
N.T.B.U.G.F.

"God blessed Texas with his own hand. Sent down angels from the promised land. Gave'em a place where they can dance. If you wanna see heaven brother here's your chance. I've been sent to spread the message. God blessed Texas."
-Little Texas "God Blessed Texas"

Go Colby!


"RE: Survivoreriest......."
Posted by VampKira on 04-24-01 at 00:31 AM
LAST EDITED ON 04-24-01 AT 03:33 AM (EST)

Ahhhhhhhhhhight! Leave M'man Sean alone... Capise??

EDIT: Sheesh! My original reason for responding to this thread was to give Shakes his props! But I got a bit side tracked when y'all started dissin' on The Doc! LOL So anyway.... Shakes baby! Youz Gotz the Stuff!!!
EDIT 2: LOL, Shakes.. I got the "He Hate Me" thing too! *giggle* I saw an interview with him once..( conducted on the field) It was HILARIOUS!.. The interviewer asked him what he thought about the references to his name...and he replied.."it fits".. (then it showed him pointing to some opponents) pointing..."Because... He hate me.. and he hate me.. and he hate me... "

BBBUUUUUWWWAAHHH!


w.l.s.f.c.

One fish. Two fish. Lum fish. Hue fish.(and a shout out to Sat!)
"I'm gonna take a bath so the whole tent doesn't smell like ass at the end of the night" - The late, and often absent, Nick Brown


"RE: Survivoreriest......."
Posted by ItzLisa on 04-24-01 at 09:25 AM

>EDIT 2: LOL, Shakes.. I got the "He Hate Me" thing too! *giggle* I saw an interview with him once..( conducted on the field) It was HILARIOUS!.. The interviewer asked him what he thought about the references to his name...and he replied.."it fits".. (then it showed him pointing to some opponents) pointing..."Because... He hate me.. and he hate me.. and he hate me... "
BBBUUUUUWWWAAHHH!

*** Oooooh, okay! I kinda get it now - it was a football player? Who was the guy, Vampy? That must have been a riot!

**************************************
W.L.S.F.C. - NY chapter


"RE: Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."
Posted by Superman on 04-24-01 at 05:50 AM
Welcome shakes...welcome to TopTen world. I'm glad you're here.


"Sniffing Glue Since 1974 and Still Going Strong"


"Wait a minute!"
Posted by George Tirebiter on 04-24-01 at 02:42 PM
I'm all discombobulated. . . not only was the Naked Fat Gay Guy missing from the list, but so was Loozin Soozin! Please don't tell me this Odd Couple possesses any qualities you admire, Shakes. . . There's ho'dom and then there's despicable ho'dom!

(And God help me, I'm boycotting the Cubs game where that Trailerpark Truckerina is scheduled to "sing" for the 7th Inning Stretch! It's enough to make me rethink my whole multigenerational fan foolishness! Even Bill Murray doesn't counterbalance this faux pas. . . )

GT


"RE: Wait a minute!"
Posted by managerr on 04-24-01 at 02:56 PM
No mention of any of those losers from Big Brother? I wouldn't want to be anyone on that show!

"RE: Wait a minute! AHA....What GT Said...."
Posted by Dalton on 04-24-01 at 03:03 PM
>I'm all discombobulated. . . not
>only was the Naked Fat
>Gay Guy missing from the
>list, but so was Loozin
>Soozin! Please don't tell me
>this Odd Couple possesses any
>qualities you admire, Shakes. .
>. . There's ho'dom and then
>there's despicable ho'dom!
>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AHA, count on GT to peel one more layer of burnt,
hanging skin off the, ummmm, "onion"!!!

I pointed out in my original post above the Clown ominiously
ommitted Dicque-Weiner from his TTL.....
and now....OMG <click>
Georgie brings up that u.gly "female?contestant?loser!!"
Loozin Soozin!!

EWWW, this is getting too Scarri!!!

Dalton



"RE: Wait a minute!"
Posted by desert_rhino on 04-24-01 at 03:06 PM
You don't like Bill Murray?

-- JV


Look out for the Camo-Rhino!


"Read it again, JerkyBoy!"
Posted by George Tirebiter on 04-24-01 at 03:21 PM
I LOVE Bill Murray (ever since Natl. Lampoon Radio Hour)! I said that even he did not counteract the incredible loozerness of having Truckerina as guest-host. . . Bill Murray is like the world's #1 Cubs fan, and the all-time greatest lounge-singer-Take-Me-Out-To-The-Ballgame-leader! DUH. . .

(I thought your 14th addendum to your self-flame meant that you understood your prediliction for posting before thoroughly reading each thread. . . then again, this will give you another opportunity to move out of jerkyville into the next level of whoredom! Quantity over Quality, indeed. . . )

GT


"RE: Read it again, JerkyBoy!"
Posted by desert_rhino on 04-24-01 at 04:14 PM
Misunderstanding is not the same as failing to read.

I won't comment further, because there's no point explaining or defending when you're involved, GT.

-- JV


"RE: Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."
Posted by HomeBrewer on 04-24-01 at 03:19 PM
I noticed you missed another.

1. Michael (Love Cruise):

Oh Yeah, Sorry, That has not aired yet


“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” -Winston Churchill


"RE: Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."
Posted by VampKira on 04-24-01 at 03:46 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-24-01 AT 03:47 PM (EST)

>>>>*** Oooooh, okay! I kinda get it now - it was a football player? Who was the guy, Vampy? That must have been a riot!<<<

Yup, he is a football player for the XFL. His real name is Rod Smart..Here is an excerpt from an artice on him...( Vampy LOVES the football!! )
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Rod Smart took the field in the No. 30 jersey with ``He Hate Me'' on the back instead of his name. Smart and his ``name'' were the subject of conversation with color analyst and Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura and play-by-play man Matt Vasgersian throughout the game. Even Castle couldn't figure out the nickname.

``I thought Rod did a great job,'' Castle said. ``But I don't like his nickname because he has come so far from when he was at Lakeland. Maybe it was a promotional thing.''

No, it's not promotional. According to Outlaws director of communications Trey Fitz-Gerald, Smart's nickname is a self-motivational tool.

``He is a quiet, unassuming guy off the field,'' Fitz-Gerald said. ``He said, when he gets out on the field, crazy things start going through his head. He thinks about his position coach and the other players, he turns the playing field into his own battlefield, saying everyone's going to hate me after I'm done.''

Smart was instrumental in the Outlaws' victory and also led Vegas to score the first points ever in an XFL game.

Smart rushed for 46 yards on 13 carries and pulled down two receptions for 48 yards.

``Rod did a great job, but what I am most proud of is that he stayed in school and that's what brought him this far,'' Castle said. ``Maybe this will help open some doors for him.''

Smart, a three-year letterman at Lakeland, received a scholarship to Western Kentucky, where he ranks eighth all-time in Western Kentucky history with 2,035 career rushing yards. In 1999, his senior year, Smart, who was a first-team All-Ohio Valley Conference selection, led the conference with 113.6 yards rushing per game and was the only player in the league to average more than 100 yards.

Nickname Explanation: Uses that to get pumped up before the game. Looks at his coach and says: “Yeah, he hate me.” He looks at his opponents and says: “They hate me, and they are going to hate me more when I run all over them today.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------


w.l.s.f.c.

One fish. Two fish. Lum fish. Hue fish.(and a shout out to Sat!)

"I'm gonna take a bath so the whole tent doesn't smell like ass at the end of the night" - The late, and often absent, Nick Brown


"RE: Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."
Posted by ItzLisa on 04-24-01 at 04:53 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-24-01 AT 04:54 PM (EST)

LOL!!!! Thanks, Vamp La La!

**************************************
W.L.S.F.C. - NY chapter

Bubbles: I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not who I am. I am the one, the only, single, solitary doer of dastardly deeds. Purveyor of pestilence, interloper of lawlessness, menace to mankind, I am bad, I am evil, I am Moooojo Jojo! Hahaahaa!

Mojo: I do not talk like that! The way I communicate is much different. I do not reiterate, repeat, reinstate the same thing, over and over again. I am clear, concise, to the point. I ..*
(From the episode "Los Dos Mojos")



"Me hate football"
Posted by George Tirebiter on 04-25-01 at 04:17 PM
V--thanks for the background reporting. I don't do sports (see, Shakes? I'm not even counting the Cubs).

My favorite jock story? Our university's football coach thought he scored a major coup when he lured two big-time rugby players to our school from a big state U. They were big, marginally good-looking, oddly conjoined (maybe or maybe not in a homosexual kind of way. . .), and drew the admiration of all the sorority sluts.

Their first class of the semester happened to be my Psych class. The prof was trying to start us out easy, by discussing various branches of psychology, and the topic got around to Parapsychology. He asked for a definition of the word, and the only one looking to gain brownie points so early in the game was one of these Einsteins. . .

"It means 'two,' like in paiw'a shoes." (Yes, he had a 2 year-old's inability to say a proper "R". . . and you'd do best if you read that with your best Chumley voice.)

Any shred of a chance that I'd ever be attracted to an athlete ended right there.

And to add to my disdain of the favoritism shown to athletes, these two somehow managed to graduate. . . I only hope they're reduced to selling sportswear at the local Foot Locker--or maybe have found a niche in a group home that may someday enable them to look after themselves.

(See why I'm stuck on geeks?)
GT


"RE: Me hate football"
Posted by Kokoro on 04-26-01 at 05:21 PM
Parapsychology! I was gonna take a mini-course for that at Mac....but it's in week 2. LoL not that anyone cares or knows what the hell I'm talking about ^-^

Ooooh watch out everyone there's a "crack" in the alliance. Yeah, maybe; If crack was slang for millionaire.



"RE: Me hate football"
Posted by Cherberrie on 04-29-01 at 07:12 AM
par·a·psy·chol·o·gy

The study of the evidence for psychological phenomena, such as telepathy, clairvoyance, and psychokinesis, that are inexplicable by science.


"RE: Top Ten Reality TV stars I wouldn't want to be....."
Posted by dangerkitty on 04-24-01 at 04:06 PM
OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!! LMAO!

Homebrewer, I read your self-flame, it seems you have already shed several of your own accusations with this one post! And, you just might get that first flame, too!

Thank you for saying what I suspect others wanted to, but didn't dare.

And LMAO to you to, Shakes, you know I still love ya! Dish it out and take it, right?


dangerkitty

"Nevermind" - Kurt Cobain and Emily Litella