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""Be The Survivor" S38,Ep05: "Cocktail Weenies Pts 1&2""
Posted by RollDdice on 03-20-19 at 08:41 PM

We have two hours tonight which is good for boots, Extinction-ing and drama, but also creates chaos in the episode numbering department.

When we last left the noisy band of marauders, Rick Devens walked down the yellow brick road to the Edge of Extinction beach (NOT a Trump property!) where he was accosted by the accurately named Reem. But it's not all hardships for the E of E troops, as a mystery box appears to change the course of the game.

Over at Lesu, Warthog/Wardog is continuing to push his advantage and tries to steer Wentworth in some voting decisions. This causes her to call Wardog a "crazy man," which always looks good on a resume.

And at the reconstituted Manu, Wendy holds down the crazy title. At least until chickens get the vote. Despite that pedigree, Aubry is willing to work with Wendy to do some voting dirty work.

So there are going to be some Survivor fireworks. If Kama can win some immunities and stay away from drama, they may avoid the Reem welcoming committee.


Enjoy the double episode and double bootage!




Mark "Make mine a double" Burnett


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"Buzzard Island Basher News"
Posted by kingfish on 03-23-19 at 04:34 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-23-19 AT 07:58 PM (EST)

Howdy folks, time for another fireside chat about this week’s adventures, ‘cept this time there is no fire. I mean, there is only one building code on the island, and that is that there can be no fireplaces in the tops of palm trees.

It isn’t a building code rule, but due to funding problems, there is also no A/C. So when I heard that Reem was coming I thought that that meant someone was going to install central air here. But instead, it turns out that it was just a new survivor, a real crabby and hungry mama bear with blood in her eyes named Reem. That’s ok though, because I have a plan to get a real wad of money (kidnap the EPMB’s dog Arfie – yeah, the kids must have named it. Arfie? Wow, real imaginative kids) so I can get a bit of studio modernization accomplished. Meantime, that off-shore breeze ain’t half bad, especially when I sit in such a way as to let it blow up one side of my jams and out the other. Actually, it’s quite nice that way.

Anyway, back to this week’s adventure. I was tooling down the island freeway (well, a dirt path) in my Bentley (invisible, I use an invisible steering wheel and say "beep" or, when I'm particularly aggravated, "Toot! Toot! Toot!, like when someone won’t go at a light. Which would be invisible too, so tooting is completely random). I say “Vroom Vroom” when I gun the engine, and “Screeeeech” when I come to a halt or when I peel out.

I hang my arm out the make-believe window with an “I’m available” smile to pick up chicks (chickens). They are a bit skittish, so it takes some maneuvering to get them in the back seat for some smooching. And pecking. Smooching and pecking with these chicks isn’t as much fun as I initially thought it would be, so mainly I just cruise the island in the ol’ Bent using flip flop power.

When I say it like that it might not sound like much of an adventure, but believe me, it is. The island hermit crab population scurries around like crazy when they see me coming, I’ll tell you what. But today was even more crazy than that. As I motored past the intersection of Jungle Trail and Crab Alley, I saw a wild island Iguana who refused to move from the middle if the path.

Well, on this island we have rules and traffic laws that I make up, and Iguanas cannot be permitted to ignore said traffic laws. So naturally, in my capacity as Island Highway Patrol Officer (self-appointed), I couldn’t let that go unpunished. I activated my siren (I used my imitation French Model T “aooga aooga aooga” siren this time), picked up the perpetrator and placed it in jail (my inbox on a corner of my desk.) It immediately went on a hunger strike and refused to touch his lettuce leaf, and it continues to stare at me reproachfully without blinking. It’s disconcerting and it’s getting to me, so I’m thinking about commuting its sentence. That damn lizard.

Blink, damn you Iguana-Man, Blink!

The Non-Blinking Iguana Lizard Blues Spoiler #1:
Returning players:

..Aubrey – In her first Survivor run she was the meek girl who grew strong and survived almost to the end. In her second she started strong and got booted early on. She forgot what worked for her, and so far it’s led to an eviction.

..David – Made it to the merge without getting targeted. Also without a discernable plan, except for focusing on the other returning player on his tribe. He has a target, but not a strategy. Now it seems he may have allied with his target. David is more lost than found. Also, he’s one of the girls on Lesu.

..Wentworth – Pure defensive game, targeted by David, so she’s has been working overtime to keep fingers in dikes, figuratively. But she knows witchcraft, so the little David doll with needles in its eyes my come into play.

..Joe – He’s in defensive mode, targeted by the women on his tribe, and his best offense may also be to have his fingers in a dyke. Literally.

The Non-Blinking Iguana Lizard Blues Spoiler #2: Introducing the new Lesu tribe; Three girls David and Warthog who throw like girls plus one manly girl, Lauren who throws like a man (Nolan Ryan), bless her and those lolos.

The Non-Blinking Iguana Lizard Blues Spoiler #3: Non-manly Warthog kept dropping 99 lb non-manly David in the Reward Challenge, a possible foreshadowing of when David drops Warthog at some future TC?

The Non-Blinking Iguana Lizard Blues Spoiler #4: Stopping for a moment to honor the goddess lying in the sand sunbathing. And thy name is Lauren. May you never be voted off my TV screen.

The Non-Blinking Iguana Lizard Blues Spoiler #5: Am becoming a lecherous fan of Victoria, and pox on anyone who tries to disrespect her perfectly quivering lolos. Real, I tell you real! Adding to that she and those little lolos were particularly adept at throwing bolos among a bunch of yoyos. And she did it solo. So there-lo.

Also gained serious respect for her. She seems to be a compliant passive player, but she may actually be just the right blend of friend and backstabber. Go Victoria.

The Non-Blinking Iguana Lizard Blues Spoiler #6: And God whispered to Keith, when thou getteth thy clue, runneth off the beach whileth the donkeys bray and standeth around with their thumbs uppeth their buttocks holes, and retrevith the advantage. And it was good, until Chris who was fleeter of foot hip checked him out of the way at the last moment. And the Audience Gods laughed and saidth “Nice Try, Loser”.

The Non-Blinking Iguana Lizard Blues Spoiler #7: Not mentioned in the published bios is the fact that Gavin is a 1930’s gangster. Mustache is giveaway. Personal item is violin case.

The Non-Blinking Iguana Lizard Blues Spoiler #8: Expect to see petulance reflected in rapid fire Tourette’s cussing from Wendy when she finds out that her chickens are on the menu. One thing Tourette’s is good for is producing a good cussing out.

The Non-Blinking Iguana Lizard Blues Spoiler #9: Reem, the new Volcano erupting in Fiji.

The Non-Blinking Iguana Lizard Blues Spoiler #10: “Hey Wentworth, there seems to be something kinda lopsided about you today. You sleep on your right side last night?”


Buzzard Island Basher Barry
Danger zone below when windy

"Aruba Commission responds..."
Posted by Aruba on 03-24-19 at 07:31 AM
Stellar job Basher Barry...you outdid even yourself with this Spoiler post.
Don’t fret over the disappointment while crusin’ for chick(ens.) The anticipation is usually much better than the realization when trying to get past first base with superficial chicks whose attraction is triggered by the car you drive. Somewhere out there I’m sure there’s a REAL woman (real lolos are optional) who will adore the Buzzard Island Basher for the sarcastic, snarky critic Michel and Aruba can see and admire in you.

#1 – What masterful play with the word “dike.” Every now and then a bash is posted on these Boards that makes Aruba jealous he did not think of it...but we're not talking about the bitter jealousy exhibited by the sore-losers envious of Joe’s Survivor prowess. More like paying tribute to a clever bash even though it was inspired by another.

#2 – Yes, LoserDog is...well...a Loser. And Lauren is...well...*sigh*

#3 – Ingenious metaphor. You probably gave Michel an orgasm (unintentionally, of course) given the fact he tries to incorporate countless such imageries in most of his posts. But the Aruba Commission predicts it will mostly likely be Wentworth (and Lauren,) the tribemate that dumbass stuck his neck out for, who will ultimately “drop” LoserDog at a future TC.

#4 – Yes, the Commission is still taking the “moment” to *sigh*

#5 – So, we have one vote for Victoria’s lolos being real. In all likelihood Michel will weigh-in before Episode 7. If he votes real then we have a simple majority. If he votes plastic, then the Commission will need to break the tie. Should the Commission abstain from the vote...we’ll go to rocks!

#6 – The Lord helps those who help themselves...and Chris helped himself to a healthy hip check much to the amusement of the viewing audience (especially NHL fans.) In professional hockey the physically non-aggressive players usually had a protector/enforcer for a teammate; i.e. Dave Shultz for Bobby Clarke; Clark Gilles for Mike Bossy, etc. For lamblike Keith we present to you...REEM.

#7 – The Commission has determined you retrieved the wrong lost bio page. Gavin is a 1920’s bootlegger. His Southern Drawl is a giveaway. His personal item is a home brewing kit.

#8 – Wendy’s Tourette’s have produced several facial twitches, but no vulgar outbursts. Production must be disappointed. But then again, Production writes predetermined “scripts” for every season *snort*, so cussing may very well be in the “script” later in the season.

#9 – Just last year one of the most active volcanoes in the world (Kilauea) tragically unleased its wrath on Vacationland Hawaii. That may pale in comparison to Reem in Fiji.

#10 – For the lolo lovers in the world, is there a “right” side for Wentworth when she is laying down? The Commission concluded it wouldn’t make much difference if she is laying on her belly or on her back.

"RE: Aruba Commission responds..."
Posted by kingfish on 03-24-19 at 04:12 PM
Thanks. I was also amused by those items. I do appreciate appreciators such as your self, so I'll concede that while I saw what I am certain was a real life non-augmented jiggling in Red's bra, I was watching thru swaying binoculars. Until I see enough side boobage or under boobage, or all boobage for that matter, I won't argue. I think they're quite cute in a an understated way, though (Am watching the horizon for a "MeeToo" ICBM).

Also, the lopsided reference to Wentworth was a reference to where she hid her HI. But the answer to your question is that I agree, both sides are "right".

Buzzard Island Basher Barry
Danger zone below when windy

"RE: Aruba Commission responds..."
Posted by michel2 on 03-24-19 at 09:25 PM
#3 - Yes, I enjoyed that metaphor but I don't have orgasm for this game.

#5 - Real.

#6 - Did you ever see Bobby Clarke play? He wasn't a big guy but certainly not a "physically non-aggressive player". Most Canadians are proud of our "victory" in the series of the century against the USSR but, personally, I was ashamed by the exhibition of some of our representatives, not least Bobby Clarke who used his stick as if it was a tomahawk, breaking Kharlamov's ankle. Clarke was very aggresive and he needed Schultz to save his Canadian Bacon more than a few times.

8- The script was in casting a player with mild Tourette who vowed to save chickens, providing her with the opportunity thus creating a star in the process.

#10 - Having a women on her back or her belly always makes a big difference. Both are good but they are different.

"RE: Aruba Commission responds..."
Posted by Aruba on 03-26-19 at 08:22 PM
#3 - Much like Kingfish’s masterful use of “dike,” orgasm was used in a more figurative sense, not literal.

#5 - HMMM, do you REALLY think they’re real...or are you just afraid to draw rocks?? LOL

#6 - Yes, I saw Bobby Clarke play many times. I was talking about “physical” aggression by using one’s “physical” stature...as opposed to being aggressive with a weapon, i.e. hockey stick.

#8 - If you believe the challenge was rigged to have the tribe Wendy was on win that RC with the chickens, you’re talking about involving quite a few castaways (or potential whistleblowers) in on the “fix.” That’s quite a reach on your part.

#10 - You both missed my bash on Kelley. The key phrase was “for the lolo lovers” it wouldn’t matter whether Kelley was on her belly or back...insinuating because she’s so “lolo challenged” you couldn’t tell if she was on her belly or back by the lack of her lolo size.

"RE: Aruba Commission responds..."
Posted by michel2 on 03-26-19 at 10:06 PM
#5 - I certainly think they are real.

#6 - Clarke never won the Lady Bing! He was aggressive with and without a stick. He and his "Broad Street Bullies" were an ugly stain on the sport and even more so considering Clarke is in the HoF. I was so happy with the way the Canadians ended their Stanly Cup run and started one of their one, one based on, you know, playing hockey instead of fighting.

8- Do you know how easy it is to rig a challenge? Take just the last one where the players had to dive under water to retrieve their puzzle pieces by unclipping them. You just have to make one team's clips harder to open to give the other two an advantage. Whenever puzzle pieces need to be dug out of the ground, who knows if each tribe's pieces are at exactly the same depth? Put one tribe's last piece 4 feet under ground while the other's is 6 feet under ground and you've fix the challenge with no one the wiser. In a fire challenge, give one player dry wood and the other damp wood. Who will win do you think?

#10 - No I enjoyed your joke but I think you missed mine which had nothing to do with lolos!

"RE: Buzzard Island Basher News"
Posted by michel2 on 03-24-19 at 09:15 PM
Barry, you're always good for some laughs even if you waste too much time cruising for chicks.

Here's a few comments:
#1 - In her second try, Aubry almost made it as far as her first time, finishing 5th. This is her first time and she isn't done yet.

I think Wentworth has played both defense and offense. She was seen as the godgfather of Manu after all.

#2 - Lauren throws well but did you see Nolan Ryan pitch? Very few humans pitched like him...but then he didn't have nice lolos.


#3 - Jeff words of David taking a hard fall were duly noted. They've often been foreshadowing.

#4 - Well, even if she is voted out we could still see Lauren sunbathing on IoE.

#5 - Aruba sees plastic in anything above a B-cup but i know better and Victoria's seem real. Of course, she would need to remove the bra for me to be certain but that won't happen on US TV. What we did see is a good tactician. Not as sexy but it'll do.

#6 - If God has ever said something to Keith, it would have been: "I really messed up when I made you."

#7 - 30's gangster or 20"s bootlegger, maybe but how about an 80's gigolo? I'm not sure what his personal item would be because those aren't part of the show anymore.

#8 - We only have Wendy's word for her condition. What if it was all an act?

#9 - Reem is insane, nothing more, nothing less.

#10 - Maybe that's why she found two idols in her previous season.

"RE: Buzzard Island Basher News"
Posted by RollDdice on 03-27-19 at 05:59 PM

"Arfie" is our holographic dog, designed to deter starving, imaginary-Bentley-driving, Iguana-molesting Buzzard Island Bashers. Our fur and blood canines, Finn and Max are well protected at the compound.

However, I honor you with the Perv Star (with oobie clusters) for your observations:
Blues Clues #4 and Lauren's lolos.
Blues Clues #5 that captures Victoria's non-loyal, but authentic lolos.
and Blues Clues #10 that notices the lean-to's that are Wentworth's oobies.

Maybe I can arrange for a "What would you do for a Klondike bar or some peanut butter and chocolate?" moment.



"The Sideline Commentator"
Posted by michel2 on 03-24-19 at 09:35 PM
Here are a few observations:

#1 - So there's at least one chicken that has survived in the jungle. At least that's what production wants you to believe. Even if all three have been eaten by night creatures, production would have a few in reserve to prolong the joke.

#2 - You cast a super challenge competitor like Joe and you surround him with guys like Ron, David and War Dog. Then you go from 2 tribes to three small ones where one physically dominant player can more easily carry his group. Then, just in case all these precautions fail, you introduce the Edge of Extinction concept. That's the way to give Joe the best chance of finally winning. Why not give him the check right away? That would give Aruba an orgasm.

#3 - The fact that women weren't finding any idols was becoming embarrassing so now we've had three women finding idols. Is Survivor using quotas?

"RE: The Sideline Commentator"
Posted by Aruba on 03-26-19 at 08:31 PM
#1 - Confessionals are done away from the other castaways and probably closer in proximity to Production. The fact we hear/see the chickens while confessions are being taped is because they are being kept close to Production—who are protecting them as it does with the castaways.

#2 - You say the season is rigged for Joe to win...then another time you say the season is scripted for someone on the underdog tribe (Manu) to end up on top. But isn't Joe on Kama. One thing I'll say about you Michel...you sure know how to cover all the bases. BTW...I would have a better chance to orgasm over someone who puts out optimum effort and gives 100% than some lame phoney baloney who needs to rely on deception.

#3 - If Production wanted to even the gender score, it was smart of them to cast more proactive women who are Division I athletes or returning female players with a track record for proactively and successfully finding HIIs as opposed to a majority of the females historically casted for the game.

See ya on the Epsiode 7 threads!

"RE: The Sideline Commentator"
Posted by michel2 on 03-26-19 at 10:15 PM
1- Wendy was releasing them into the jungle. If production wants to keep them safe then they aren't exactly free, are they?

2- BEFORE the season started, production planned on giving Joe the best shot possible of winning. If he can't seize the opportunity then produtction has to readjust. One way they could be readjusting would be to rig it in favor of the underdogs just to salvage a season that many are finding boring. I know production is interfering with the results, they've done so ever since season 1 according to Stacey Stillman, I certainly don't know what's in their head so I looks for oddities. There are plenty of those.